DUmmie FUnnies 04-11-06 (Reporter Politically Cleansed From Newspaper For Being A ....REPUBLICAN!!!)

A couple of months ago I was chatting with a woman who works at one of the local colleges here in South Florida. After a while, I mentioned to her that I am the author of a Blog called the DUmmie FUnnies which I described as being a humor blog about current events. Since she was sitting next to a computer connected to the Web, I gave her the Web address of this Blog and she went to it and began to read. Several minutes passed as she checked out this Blog and I went back to reading a book I had on me. Suddenly, my attention on the book was broken by the woman blurting out in shock: "Are you...a...a... REPUBLICAN???" I then replied that among my many other "crimes" I was...a...a... REPUBLICAN. My quick imitation of her initial shocked reaction did evoke a chuckle from her so it all turned out okay. When one is in a university atmosphere and is pleasantly chatting about non-political things in general, a liberal can easily mistake another person for being anything but a..a...REPUBLICAN!!!

However, it appears being an announced Republican can be a crime. Or at least cost you your job if you are working for a newspaper. Such was the case at my hometown Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel when editor Earl Maucker proved himself to be a Mocker of fairness when he removed political reporter, Buddy Nevins, from his post for the "high crime" of announcing that he is a...a...REPUBLICAN!!! Yes, Katie Couric can PRETEND to be the unbiased anchor of See-BS News after PRETENDING to be the unbiased host of the Today Show but that is okay because we ALL know that she is a LIBERAL DEMOCRAT even though she has done everything to tell us that except for actually mouthing the words. Oh, and Couric is being replaced on the Today Show by MEREDITH VIEIRA who marched in an anti-war parade filled with the usual leftist loonies and their allied comrades but that is okay because she didn't actually mouth the words that she is a LIBERAL DEMOCRAT. Vieira even declared that: "Everything's been built on lies. Everything! I mean the entire pretext for war." Even that is okay with NBC because Vieira didn't actually mouth the words that she is a LIBERAL DEMOCRAT even though that is exactly what she has been announcing all along but not in the EXACT words. As a matter of fact, even if Vieira did announce that she is a LIBERAL DEMOCRAT, that wouldn't make any difference because NBC would merely announce that being a liberal Democrat wouldn't make her biased in her coverage. However, if ANYBODY in the mainstream media dares to announce that he (or she) is a (GASP!) Republican of the conservative persuasion, that would probably spell doom to his political career. As we have seen happen at the Sun-Sentinel, Buddy Nivens has been politically purged for making that "criminal" announcement. So let us now watch Earl the Pearl become a Maucker of common sense as he tries to EXPLAIN away the reasons for the purge in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that DUmmies can also appear on editorial pages as well as in DUmmieland, is in the [brackets]:

Journalistic independence key to credibility

[Translation: "You must PRETEND to be unbiased even if you aren't. (Preceding rule not to apply to REPUBLICANS.)"]

Fairness is one of the standards that every legitimate news operation aims to achieve.

[See-BS News: FAILED!
NBC News: FAILED!
Newsweek Magazine: FAILED!
Sun-Sentinel: FAILED!]

It doesn't happen automatically.

[It doesn't happen AT ALL at most news outlets.]

Our ability to be fair was called into question recently when Broward political columnist and reporter Buddy Nevins gave a speech to a local Republican Club in Broward County.

[Dan Rather could help RAISE MONEY for the Democrats in Texas but that wasn't why CBS eventually got rid of him.]

The club was planning to suspend the formal opening of its proceedings -- open only to Republicans -- to allow for Buddy's speech.

[Uh-Oh! Stand by for a SHOCKING announcement!]

Buddy said the delay wasn't necessary because he was a newly registered Republican. He held up his form from the elections office as proof.

[GASP!!! A...a...REPUBLICAN??? How could such a VILE creature be allowed into the hallowed sanctum of the Sun-Sentinel where it is assumed that the ONLY thinking people are good Democrats?]

From what I'm told, his gesture received a round of applause from the Republican membership.

[Being applauded by Republicans must mean you're an insensitive, homophobic, sexist, BIGOT! Wouldn't surprise me a bit if Nevins carries a concealed weapon and drives an SUV.]

When asked why he registered GOP, Buddy told the gathering he'd changed his party affiliation to vote in the primary for gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist.

[Horrible! Not only did he Nevins register as a Republican but, even worse, he plans to vote for a Republican.]

We have no problem with our reporters appearing before local community, civic or even political organizations.

[As long as it is understood that they are liberals. Continue stringing your Pearls, Earl...]

And, our employees can register for any political party, and vote for any candidate they want.

[As long as they keep their membership as Republicans a deep shameful secret...]

But what Buddy said before that audience was wrong -- clear and simple.

[Buddy committed the high crime of being horribly honest and admitted that he is a...a...Republican! (And is there ANY DOUBT that Earl Maucker is not a Liberal?)]

At that moment, he gave up his journalistic independence -- independence in this case meaning that he must not appear to favor any candidate or party. By declaring support for a candidate, he irreparably damaged his credibility as a political reporter. And he damaged the credibility of this newspaper.

[So Tom Oliphant of the Boston Globe has "journalistic independence" because he didn't actually say he is a liberal democrat even though we all know that is what he is?

So ELEANOR CLIFT of Newsweek has "journalistic independence" because she didn't actually say she is a liberal democrat even though we all know that is what she is?

And Katie Couric has "journalistic independence" even though she didn't mouth the words announcing that she is a liberal democrat?


Ditto Meredith Vieira. And Brian Williams. And DOZENS upon DOZENS of other liberal Democrats working for the mainstream media.]

Because of his public comments, readers and those involved in the political process could rightly question Buddy's fairness on the political beat.

[Once you confess to being a Republicans, the death sentence is pronounced upon your career in the mainstream media.]

After an initial review of the issue, we took Buddy off any coverage of the Florida gubernatorial race.

[The correct term for this procedure is PURGED.]

Whether his comment was done in jest or to provoke a reaction from the Republican audience, the damage was done.

[Once the confession leaves your lips that you are a Republican, the dirty deed is done and cannot be undone.]

His announcement was particularly sensitive because Buddy not only writes a weekly political column offering commentary, but he also covers the political beat as a reporter.

[Buddy Nevins should have been as "unbiased" as Tom Oliphant of the Boston Globe. Or as "unbiased" as ELEANOR CLIFT of Newsweek.]

We pay columnists to voice their opinions, but reporters must be fair and balanced, and refrain from allowing personal opinion into their news reports.

[So was there any EVIDENCE that Nevins allowed personal opinion into his news reports? Earl the Pearl offers none.]

Can a reporter, then, seamlessly change stripes and write political commentary? Can one person accomplish both without a conflict? It is an editor's dilemma.

[Not if the reporter in question is an obviously BIASED Liberal. Then it isn't an editor's dilemma. It's merely the ACCEPTED norm.]

Many newspapers allow political columnists to also cover political stories. The thinking is that these are the folks most attuned to the political landscape and best-prepared to offer insight and perspective in commentary columns.

[Most newspapers allowed biased Liberals to cover all stories from their POV. The thinking is that Liberalism IS the norm.]

But Buddy's comments at the Republican Club put all that into question because readers could likely believe he has political loyalties influencing his news reporting

[God forbid that a Republican betray even the slightest hint of having an opinion. Such attitudes MUST be political cleansed from the pristine pure pages of the Sun-Sentinel.]

In today's world, where there is such righteous indignation and partisan radicalism, there is no room for questionable judgment or even the perception of a conflict.

[Really? Then you would need to FIRE most of your current reporters. Instead you SINGLE OUT the ONE admitted Republican in your crew for punishment.]

Our first obligation is to be open and honest with our readers about why we are making a change.

[Okay, Earl. When does that start happening?]

Bob Steele, an expert on media ethics at the Poynter Institute in St. Petersburg, said it best: "Tell your readers why and how the Sun-Sentinel honors journalistic independence and thereby protects its credibility."

[By politically cleansing the news pages of self-confessed Republicans, that's how.]

This column is a step in that process.

[This column is a step in the lame excuse process.]

We will also review and compare notes with other newspapers on how they handle the potential conflict involved with allowing reporters to also write columns, whether they be from news, sports or features.

[We will also get tips from other newspapers on how to purge Republicans from our sacred sanctum.]

Our readers rely on and trust the Sun-Sentinel and we must protect that bond.

[Thank you, Earl. I'll always rely on you to make a Mauckery of fairness by politically cleansing your newspapers of all self-confessed Republicans.]

We have decided to move Buddy off the political beat permanently because we felt his independence has been compromised. Buddy agreed and looks forward to covering other assignments for the Sun-Sentinel.

[Welcome to the Obituary Section, Buddy, where you can write an obituary for your own newspaper career.]

This is not a move we made lightly, nor did we make it in haste. But, it is a move that he and we felt was necessary to protect the credibility of the newspaper.

[MAUCK! MAUCK! Cried the Maucker Bird. And thanks for making a Mauckery of a rational explanation as to why you politically purged Buddy Nevins from reporting on politics.]