DUmmie FUnnies 04-05-06 (Pied Piper Pitt Lists Reasons Why Democrats MUST Be Defeated)

If ever there were a DUmmie FUnnies edition that needs to be spread far and wide, this one is it. The reason is that William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt has listed in FRIGHTENING detail what will happen if the House of Representatives goes Democrat in this year's election. Of course, Pitt made his list as reasons why the Democrats should win but, as usual, his post is doomed to boomerang on him. I predict that if this list is used in Republican ads as reasons why they must be re-elected to a majority, the Democrats and much of the media will screech about "dirty" campaign tactics despite the fact that the original source is Bob Shrum wannabee, Pied Piper Pitt. So let us take a look at Pied Piper Pitt's LIST titled,
"The next time you see someone say 'I refuse to support the Democrats!'..." in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that virtually everybody on Pitt's list is ready for the Rubber Room, is in the [bracktets]:

The next time you see someone say "I refuse to support the Democrats!"...

[....Shake his hand and treat him to a drink at Bukowski's.]

...show them this thread. This is what the House will look like if the Democrats are given enough support to take that chamber back.

[Unfortunately for you, this thread will have exactly the OPPOSITE effect than what you intended, Pitt. One look at this list will SHOCK many normally apathetic voters into the voting booth to make sure the inmates listed NEVER slither into power.]

At least 10 Congressional Progressive Caucus members will become Committee Chairmen or Chairwomen. An additional 35 Congressional Progressive Caucus members would become Subcommittee Chairmen or Chairwomen. The following Progressive Caucus members would become Committee Chairs:

["Progressive" being the codeword for Socialistic Leftwing Liberal Loony.]

Congressman George Miller: Chairman of Education and Workforce Committee;

[Miller, a San Francisco area Congressman, is adamantly opposed to school vouchers. This would make it harder for poor families to send their children to private schools such as a certain private school in Newton, MA. But is that really a bad thing (if the students are girls)?]

Congressman Barney Frank: Chairman of Financial Services;

[Great oversight from Our Boy Lollipop who was complete "unaware" that his boyfriend operated a MALE PROSTITUTION RING out of his apartment...or so he claimed. On the plus side, Barney Frank would make good use of his Congressional franking priveleges. If anybody knows about franking it is Barney Frank.]

Congressman Henry Waxman: Chairman of Government Reform;

[Nostrilla Waxman is OBSESSED with Karl Rove. Sorry, Henry, but no Merry Fitzmas for you. The White (House) Whale has eluded its congressional Ahab once again.]

Congressman Bennie Thompson: Chairman of Homeland Security Committee;

[Bennie Thompson, one of only 27 Congressman along with Kook Kucinich, who VOTED AGAINST a resolution condemning Castro's crackdown on human rights in Cuba. And you want to make him Chairman of Homeland Security. Which Homeland? Cuba?]

Congressman Tom Lantos: Chairman of International Relations Committee;

[A Strangelovian oddball who sounded like he demanded that coke-snorting Clinton White House security chief, Craig (Chickensuit) Livingstone should commit suicide. Okay, maybe not such a bad idea afterall.]

Congressman John Conyers: Chairman of Judiciary Committee;

[Conyers is so anxious to IMPEACH BUSH that he is already planning the impeachment hearings. Of course, this completely pulls the rug from under phony Democrat claims that a victory for them in the House doesn't mean impeachment hearings would proceed.]

Congresswoman Louise Slaughter: Chairwoman of Rules Committee;

[Louise Slaughter, so far to the Left that she has even BLOGGED on the Loony Left Daily Kos. Slaughter is best known for her HUSH RUSH bill to place limits on EVIL rightwing talk show hosts.]

Congresswoman Nydia Velazquez: Chairwoman of Small Business Committee;

[Nydia Velazquez who spoke just a few days ago at a RALLY supporting illegal aliens.]

Congressman Lane Evans: Chairman of Veterans Affairs Committee;

[Better do some BETTER research, Pitt. Lane Evans just ANNOUNCED that he is RETIRING this year, thus making it more likely that his seat will be picked up by an EVIL Republican.]

Congressman Charles Rangel: Chairman of Ways and Means Committee.

[Charles Rangel. A real piece of work. He introduced a bill into congress to reinstitute the draft and then voted AGAINST his own bill. I think the term for that antic is "Playing Political Games."]

The following Progressive Caucus members would become Subcommittee Chairs:

Appropriations Subcommittees: Congresswomen Rosa DeLauro and Marcy Kaptur, Congressmen John Olver, Jose Serrano, and Ed Pastor;

[Sorry, I just could't read past that IMAGE of Rosa DeLauro.]

Armed Services Subcommittee: Congressman Neil Abercrombie;

[Abercrombie (where's Fitch?) voted for millions to fund the HAMAS terrorist organization. So what Armed Services would Abercrombie be overseeing? Hamas? Al-Qaeda?]

Education and Workforce Subcommittees: Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey and Congressman Dennis Kucinich;

[Just what we need. The EVIL ELF in charge of a subcommittee. And speaking of the Evil Elf, Pitt, did you ever APOLOGIZE to Kook Kucinich for BETRAYING him while acting as his Press Secretary while secretly working for the Kerry campaign?]

Energy and Commerce Subcommittees: Congressman Ed Markey and Congresswomen Jan Schakowsky and Hilda Solis;

Financial Services Subcommittee: Congresswoman Maxine Waters andCongressman Luis Gutierrez;

[Maybe Maxine Waters should team up with Dr. Buddy Rydell since she is in constant need of an Anger Management Program.]

Government Reform Subcommittees: Congresswoman Diane Watson and Congressmen Dennis Kucinich, Elijah Cummings, Danny Davis of Illinois, and William Clay;

[There is that name again: Kook Kucinich.]

International Relations Subcommittee: Congressman Donald Payne;

[Donald Payne. One of 21 co-sponsors of the House impeachment resolution. Of course, the Democrats keep telling us (officially) that impeachment isn't part of their agenda.]

Judiciary Subcommittees: Congresswoman Sheila Jackson-Lee and Congressmen Jerry Nadler and Melvin Watt;

[Has Congresswoman Sheila Jackson-Lee figured out yet that the Martian Rover will be unable to find the flag that the astronauts planted on the Red Planet? Maybe Nadler ate that flag.]

Interior Subcommittees: Congressmen Raul Grijalva and Tom Udall and Congresswoman Donna Christensen;

Rules Subcommittees: Congressman Jim McGovern;

Small Business Subcommittees: Congresswomen Madeleine Bordallo;

[Madeleine Bordallo is the "representative" from Guam. I put "representative" in quotes since Guam isn't a state and isn't entitled to representation in Congress. Bordallo can't even vote but they put her and other such faux representatives in Congress as a Feel Good gesture. And how does a non-voter rate chairmanship of a House Subcommittee?]

Transportation and Infrastructure: DeFazio, Filner, Holmes-Norton, and C. Brown;

Ways and Means Subcommittees: Congressmen Pete Stark, Jim McDermott, and John Lewis of Georgia.

[Congratulations! You hit the TRIFECTA, Pitt, with that group of clowns. First on the Trifecta list is (Fortney) Pete Stark whose main claim to fame is that he is an ARROGANT SHMUCK.
Then we have Jim McDermott who was recently ordered by a court to pay Rep. John Boehner $700,000 for ILLEGALLY turning over a taped cell phone conversation of the Ohio Congressman to reporters.
And to finish off the list we have John Lewis who is best remembered for comparing the GOP to Nazis after they won the 1994 Congressional election when he screamed hysterically: "They're coming for the children! They're coming for the poor! They're coming for the sick, the elderly and the disabled!"]

...so...did'ja hear DeLay's gonna quit?

[...so...did'ja hear McKinney's gonna stay?]