DUmmie FUnnies 04-10-06 ("Would the military intervene to save us?")

Congratulations to Dummie steve2370! After over a year of probation, you have finally REDEEMED yourself and came up with an hilarious DUmmie thread again worthy of publication in the DUmmie FUnnies. Yes, DUmmie steve2470, you are back in the spotlight again with your incredibly ENTERTAINING cluelessness. For those of you unfamiliar with DUmmie steve2470, he is the author of two of the FUnniest threads featured in the DUmmie FUnnies. The first of the classic steve2370 threads appeared in the February 21, 2005 DUFU edition titled, Clueless about women, please help me out in which our boy couldn't figure out that his date gave him a complete brushoff. It has to be read to be believed. Then steve2470 followed this up a few days later with Clueless about women, part deux in which he still maintained, against all evidence to the contrary, that he could still score a date with the hot chick. Yes, these threads were both truly FUnnie but then a strange thing happened. Steve2470, despite his public exposure in the DUFUs as a complete shmoe, began to bask in the spotlight. As a result, he began posting increasingly bizarre threads in the hope of being featured again in the DUmmie FUnnies. Unfortunately, his latter posts lacked the natural cluelessness of the first two and I had to tempoararily ban him from any further appearances in the DUmmie FUnnies. However, I see the probationary period has worked out well since steve2570 is BACK with AUTHENTIC cluelessness again with this THREAD naively titled, "Would the military intervene to save us?" The thread has all the classic elements of steve2470's refreshing divorce from reality. So let us now watch DUmmie steve2470 weave his fairy tale military fantasy in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering how many times steve2470 has been shot down by women during his probationary period, is in the [brackets]

Would the military intervene to save us?

[I'm picturing steve2470 as a dewy eyed Snow White singing: "Some Day My Prince Will Come."]

To you CIA/NSA spooks, I'm not advocating violence here, so just relax. Let's just say, theoretically, that nothing stops Bushco and Repugs and the fascism continues to grow. Would anyone with influence in the military try to organize a true coup and take back the country? Or...would we really be SOL in that case ? I sure hope we never get to that point in reality.

[Um...let's see, steve2470. The Left is constantly attacking the military and trying to keep them from setting up recruiting booths on campuses. Not only that, Leftists like Richard Belzer are now ATTACKING the intelligence of military personnel in Iraq with comments that he is more knowledgeable about what is going on over there because "they don't read twenty newspapers a day" like he supposedly does. And yet, despite all this, steve2470, is blinking his eyes and sighing in the hope that the military will illegally overthrow the EVIL Bush Regime and hand power over to the DUmmiecrats so they can more effectively besmirch the military. This is actually a bigger delusion than his belief that he could score with a hot chick. But let us continue now with the steve2470 inspired comedy act with more laugh lines from his fellow DUmmies...]

I think the military would fire on us in the beginning but after awhile, then would say 'what the f*ck?" and would restore America back to Americans!

[More likely the military would say, "GET SOME!" and increase their rate of fire into the DUmmie hordes.]

Were Bushco to try a putsch, the most likely thing would be the military would fight itself. One thing I always thought Tim McVeigh's favorite book, "The Turner Diaries," got right, was that the military would split into the federals and the fascists. Probably nowadays the fascists would win that fight, since RW Christian Dominionism has made such inroads into the professional military, from the service academies on up. There would be a Constitutional crisis. Hard to predict how it would come out. Most probably there would be a move to secede by progressive states in the West and Upper Midwest.

[Methinks you've already seceded from REALITY.]

Actually, I was "hoping" the military would do it without Bush

[Back to steve2470 and his fluttering heart hoping that the military would be so deluded as to accomplish the DUmmie hope of removing Bush from office. Yeah, DUmmie benburch is TOO LAZY to pull himself away from his computer screen to do anything but post rantings about sending a million idiots to Washington for Regime Change but you somehow think the military will carry out the wishes of a bunch of mental cases?]

Thought Your Hypothetical Was Bushco Made the Move
If Bushco made the move, don't you think progressive forces in the military (a minority, certainly) would move to check the putsch? I do. They might get crushed by the RW fascist sympathizers in the military, which I believe to be in the strong majority. Of course, there have always been fascists in the U.S. military. (My favorite movie on the subject is "Seven Days in May.")

[From reading your post, I got the impression that your favorite movie is "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."]

I'm not advocating violence either, I just want to know what the military's protocol is for a government out of control.

[I just want to know what the military's protocol is for a DUmmie Mind out of control.]

Is Christian fundamentalism a significant factor in the high
echelons of the military? Is "echelons" the right word? Off the top of my head, I can't think of anything much scarier than Christian Dominionist types at command level.

[Make religious belief a court martial offense (unless it is Muslim belief)!]

i was discussing this with my mom yesterday and I was saying how I dont think Bu$h is going anywhere in 2008. He's gonna suspend the constitution (probably after some catastrophic "torrirsit" attack) and the elections wont take place. These people are simply too cocky. They KNOW they're not going anywhere.
Anyway, my mom said that if something like that were to occur, the military would step in a put an end to it. I dont know whether they'd do this or not.

[It's dangerous for a DUmmie to discuss politics with Mommy in his computer Romper Room.]

I can conceive of situations Bushco could engineer that might make it very tricky for the military to intercede in a timely, let alone surgical, fashion. It might take quite sometime for heads at the military to unite on a plan of action, even after, and assuming, they could agree that action needed taking. Meanwhile there might be a lot of pain here and around the world.

[We already know there is a pain in Uranus.]

yes, I agree. And I really dont see them leaving in
2008. Maybe I should be wearing my tinfoil hat, but these guys dont ACT like they're gonna go anywhere. They dont care what we think regarding their destruction of the constitution, etc. Its scary! And they also know that if they are ever thrown out, they're probably going to jail. I dont think we're taking anything back in November either. The voting is totally fixed. These ppl are here to stay. And the american ppl have NO recourse.

[Attention DUmmies! Resistance is FUTILE! Voting will do you NO GOOD! Please assume the Fetal Position with thumb tucked firmly in mouth and await further orders!]

Hypothetical: Troops take over White House, hand power to ...
a joint Dem/Repug. task force. Not the entire country.

[Hypothetical: Veil of delusion drops from DUmmie steve2470's eyes and he briefly sees REALITY for what it is. The shock could overload your nervous system.]

I think your hypothetical scenario could only work.........
If action was taken absolutely immediately by a very limited number of very ballsy military leaders acting on their own initiative. But it would have to happen almost instantly after B* did something unequivocal in terms of seizing dictatorial power. I mean instantly. Over and done before anyone else could react or decide which side to take. Maybe they could render him to Syria.

[Maybe they could render the fat cells in your brain to soap.]

Brainwashed GIs. Most in the military hate libruls and the media. Most watch only FAUXNEWZ and listen only to Der Ruschkopf. We wouldn't stand a chance.

[Is that you, Richard Belzer?]

they are too cowardly to defend the constitution. That's why they've not defended it from bush when he crossed obvious constitutional controls.
They are incompetent to their sworn purpose, what good is an army like that.

[Code Pink Alert!]