DUmmie FUnnies 03-22-06 ("Are 'they' planning on closing down DU before the election?")

As regular readers of the DUmmie FUnnies know, my DUmmie Ants, although highly entertaining, are severely short on any kind of reasoning ability whatsoever. They see absolutely NO cause and effect springing from misguided legislation as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Are 'they' planning on closing down DU before the election?" The "they" that DARE NOT MENTION ITS NAME referred to here is McCain-Feingold of the infamous McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance "Reform" Act. Meant to (unrealistically) control the flow of money in political campaigns, the RESULT is a SEVERE restriction on our free speech as you can see in this ARTICLE. The problem is that any criticism of the McCain-Feingold Act, the WORST piece of legislation in years, by the DUmmies would mean criticism of their favorite loon, Russ Feingold. Therefore the DUmmies have to be content with merely criticizing a vague "they" which in their tiny minds must be EVIL rightwingers. Let me assure my DUmmie Ants. I have NO INTEREST in shutting down DUmmieland. Without your site up and running, I have NO comedy material for my DUmmie FUnnies. Therefore I place the blame squarely where it belongs, which you WON'T do, on the authors of the legislation that threatens the FREE SPEECH of all Web blogs and forums---JOHN McCAIN and RUSS FEINGOLD. Of course, I don't expect the DUmmies to blame their icon, Feingold, at all but his name is on that HORRIBLE legislation as its co-author. So let us now watch the DUmmie Escape From Reality once again in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who plans on slamming John McCain no matter what restrictions his dopey legislation (with Feingold) permits me, is in the [brackets]:

Are "they" planning on closing down DU before the election?

["They" are McCAIN-FEINGOLD but we dare not mention it because that anti-free speech legislation contains the name of our blessed icon, Feingold.]

I heard something yesterday that "politically active web sites" are being targeted by a bill now in congress to close them down for 60 days before the election. "They" want to make sure things are fair. It was on Air America and NPR .... Anybody know anything about this little act on our road to a dictatorship?

[That bill in Congress is already a law. It is called McCAIN-FEINGOLD. Please thank the authors, John McCain and Russ Feingold, for that piece of incredibly crappy legislation.]

How will "they" be doing this if the servers are located overseas?

[Don't forget to thank RUSS FEINGOLD for the necessity of getting a backup server in the Bahamas. And I'll send a thank you note to JOHN McCAIN for the same.]

I think "they" see the blogs as real threats to their control of the media.

[The "they" that DARE NOT SPEAK ITS NAME---McCAIN-FEINGOLD.]

What does closing down websites have to do with fair election....

[Why don't you ask McCAIN-FEINGOLD?]

Well, we'll just have to start a knitting forum over at Yahoo
...and talk about anything other than knitting!

[Why don't you talk about how wonderful your icon, Russ Feingold, was for being the co-author of a piece of legislation that forced you to start that Yahoo knitting forum?]

They still couldn't get away with it. Let's not loose touch with reality. Something so bold and so obvious would not sit well with the public-- the Bush Admin. is quite good at taking hacks at our liberty when it's subtle.

[I do blame Bush in this case for signing a piece of CRAPPY legislation co-authored by McCAIN-FEINGOLD.]

They're getting away with these things, which is why we must keep an eye on them always. But I don't think they'd ever get away with shutting down political sites- it would be impossible and it would be too blatant.
But I could be wrong.

[Russ Feingold will prove you wrong by siccing the anti-Blog Police on the bloggers.]

So the plan is to ensure freedom by stopping the flow of information? That's... bullshit. The flow of information is essential to the democratic process.

[Why don't you whisper that into Russ Feingold's ear?]

The only way they could get away with this is by imposing
a total news blackout of the election, also. Somehow, I think this is a pipe dream by all those Freeptards who think they're thinking deep thoughts when they try to come up with ways to shut down anyone who points out the obvious--that they're all WRONG. There would be an ACLU suit and an injunction overnight. If all else failed, I'm sure there are a lot of us out here in internet land who would be overjoyed to hock whatever we have to pay for that foreign internet server. I can think of no better use for the few pieces of jewelry my mother left me. She'd be proud.

[Blame Russ Feingold (and John McCain) for having to hock your Cracker Jack Box rings.]

We're dealing with fascists. The idea itself isn't even the point - it's not going anywhere. Even if it does, you're right - of course the ACLU will sue, and of course they'll win. The very fact that the freepers want to legislate political websites - of which I would imagine a strong majority are liberal - means that their idea is to move closer to state control of the media, which is one crucial step along the road to one-party rule and a dictatorship.

[Let's see... A piece of incredibly CRAPPY legislation co-authored by John McCain and RUSS FEINGOLD threatens your free speech rights so it MUST be the fault of those EVIL Freepers who are universally OPPOSED to that law. It must be FUn to have a scrambled brain.]

That can't be constitutional, and I can't believe even most repukes would support that. This sounds like a pure neocon idea

[Actually it is a pure Mc-Cain-FEINGOLD idea.]

If you believe that campaign finance laws are a bad thing, and some people do, I can understand being upset by the FEC extending those laws. But if you think campaign finance laws are in the public interest, then the idea of extending them to the Internet shouldnt' be upsetting.

[Actually I DO believe that the McCain-FEINGOLD campaign finance law is a BAD thing which is restricting FREE SPEECH rights on the Internet. Unfortunately the DUmmies are too DUmb to realize that there is a connection between the two. Cause and Effect.]

it's a scheme to treat blogs the same as prohibited paid ads
by various interest groups

[Send a thank you note to McCAIN-FEINGOLD for dreaming up that scheme.]