DUmmie FUnnies 05-30-05 ("What do you love?" ---Pitt Posts "Trype" And Conspires With Scamdy)

Pied Piper Pitt has once again consulted his ever-ready thesaurus in preparation for this paean to himself posted in DUmmieland. The most interesting thing about this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What do you love?” isn’t Pitt’s tedious and overlong self-glorification but his interaction with co-conspirator Scamdy. So let us now view Pied Piper Pitt telling us how wonderful he is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who will be asking the judge at the Scamdy trial to permit a large screen monitor with an internet connection at the Scamdy trial so as to allow the jury a better view of the vital evidence contained in the DUFUs, is in the [brackets]:

What do you love?

[I love following this whole Scamdy Scandal and you, Pitt, provide among the best entertainment of all the co-conspirators.]

I love my mom. She had me when she was 26 and then watched her marriage fly apart for reasons I have no place to judge.

[Perhaps the breakup was caused by your mom blaming your Dad for the way you turned out. But continue with the sob story, Pitt…]

She went to school with a young boy on her hip and became one of the best in her business, all the while with the whip-hand raised to make sure her son was worth the world he was to live in. She lives today, paintbrush in hand and canvas at the fore, at the end of five miles of dirt road in New Hampshire in a small log cabin by a lake. She is the strongest, smartest, wisest, funniest and best person I will ever know.

[Your mom paints? Great. If cameras are not allowed in the courtroom at the Scamdy trial perhaps she could be the courtroom sketch artist. Please tell your mom to make sure that she sketches Scamdy as healthily plump as the day he arrived at Johns Hopkins.]

I love my dad. He was born out of red North Alabama clay to love FDR and the Tennessee Valley Authority, and met my mom just before he volunteered for Vietnam duty in 1969.

[Uh-Oh! We seem to have a veracity problem here, Pitt. If your Dad was young enough in 1969 to volunteer for Vietnam then why would he be reminiscing about FDR and the TVA? That love for the TVA is mainly something that folks who grew up in the DEPRESSION would do. Somebody who is a Baby Boomer (or even a just few years older than that) wouldn’t be expressing love for the TVA any more than someone born in, say, 1930 would be expressing his love for the Panama Canal because it was a bit BEFORE his time.]

Yes, volunteered. He watched his marriage fly apart for reasons I have no place to judge, and embarked upon a 40-year oddessy of public service that took him from the Secretary of State's office to the Attorney General's office to the US. Attorney's office - all in Alabama, where Democrats are awfully popular, you know - and only in the last couple of years did he figure out that you can actually make money as a lawyer in private practice. He is the strongest, smartest, wisest, funniest and best person I will ever know.

[Hopefully your Dad is not an ambulance chaser like a certain recent vice-presidential candidate.]

I love my city. Boston, cold, rainy, hot, sunny, bitter and snowy altogether, with a confluence of 400 years of history marking the cracked streets.

[You left out humid, windy, and foggy in your Boston weather report, Pitt. However, I am happy to see that you consulted your ever-present thesaurus in time to come up with “confluence.”]

We started slavery and ended it - the slave trade came from here, 'Boston Baked Beans' were slave food for generations, and yet The Liberator was printed here, the Union Clubs were started here, and the spine of Union strength during the Civil War was found here. Never mind the Guns of Ticonderoga and the lashing of the British. That's just the fun stuff. Boston is America: Every race, and every racism, dirty and clean together, a port city at once looking ahead and anchored to the past, with all the weather of the country pouring out along the jet stream and across the Cape. Don't like it? Wait five minutes. Oh, and the Sox. And the Pats.

[I’m impressed with your interjection of history on the heels of your Boston weather report. Can I just kiss your tuchus right now, Pitt, or do I have to wait for that privilege?]

I love my country. We made the slaves, and freed them. We slaughtered the natives, and carved out a space for millions of others to find freedom from their own lands, opressions, tortures. We stand for freedom and sell it out every day. We stand for profit, we exude the excess of victorious capitalism from every pore, we are governed by an avarice and a body-lust that has nothing to do with the soul or the spirit, and yet, with a million billion kindnesses done on streetcorners and church pews and protest rallies and God knows exactly where else, we show with every breath that profit and money and wealth are not a reason to breathe in and breathe out.

[Boston weather report: A long hot wind coming from the direction of a certain Pied Piper Pitt.]

No propaganda can paint over the blood and horror and woe we have created. No propaganda can obscure the greatness of the ideal - Of the People, By the People, For the People - nor can any propaganda obscure the greatness of our accomplishments. We have done great things, and terrible things.

[No appeals can get Pied Piper Pitt to keep from bloviating. No plea for mercy Of the People, By the People, For the People can make him cease his hot air attack.]

We are guilty, and we are innocent. We have done great things, and boy o boy, we have a lot of cleaning up to do.

[You are guilty of being Scamdy’s chief cheerleader on the Web and you are innocent of having the slightest lick of common sense. And boy o boy, you have a lot of cleaning up of the Scamdy “documents” on your hard drive to do.]

What do you love? What do you fight for?

[I love reading your rationalizations about how Scamdy really really does have pancreatic cancer and I will fight to get a front row seat in the courtroom at Scamdy’s scandal trial.]

Do you fight for an ideal, a promise at the end of your struggle? Or is the fight itself so much a habit now that you have forgotten what it is that got you started in the first place? Sometimes I forget. Sometimes I lose myself in the warring between party, between ideology, hell, sometimes in the warring within forums here.

[Sometimes you forget that self-glorifying paeans actually do have to END at some point, Pitt.]

But then I remember.

[Please remember to someday terminate this tribute to yourself.]

I'm an American. My family came over her on boats from Ireland, England and Germany. My family farmed, went to school, busted their humps to make sure their kids did better than they did. This is a lot of what we are missing these days, that idea of sacrifice, that immigrant ethic: You aren't in this for you, but for your kids, for the future.

[It’s bad enough that we have to hear you tell us how wonderful you are, Pitt, but now you are torturing us with what great folks your long forgotten ancestors were.]

Once we lost that, once instant gratification became the state religion, then easy gas and easy steel and easy labor and easy war and easy death became, well, easy, and we forgot that there is a price to be paid in the end.

[Why don’t you take it EASY, Pitt, and quit with the (inevitable) segue into politicization of everything?]

Everyone is born owing a death. Every man, every woman, every nation, every empire. To think this escapable is to laugh in God's face, and God is not mocked.

[Actually God is pissed that you are invoking His name in your never ending spiel.]

I'm an American. I am proud of my nation and ashamed of it. I am proud of the ideals of our institutions of government, and ashamed at how easily they are corrupted by money, by that instant gratification desire which mouths platitudes of patriotism while spitting on the nation entire.

[Speaking of being corrupted by money…How is Scamdy doing since his “miraculous” recovery from his pancreatic cancer operation?]

Somewhere in history, I'm pretty sure my family owned slaves. Somewhere in there, I know for a stone fact my family fought to free them. I'm an American, so I'm conflicted. That's how it is.

[Doesn’t matter if your family freed their slaves. You still gotta come up with the reparations payments. BTW, my family only ran whores in Chicago so I don’t have to make those reparations payments.]

But I know we can do better than this. I know we will. I am a profound believer in what-goes-around-comes-around, with the caveat that nothing will come around without some shoulders to the wheel.

[I too am a profound believer in what-goes-around-comes-around and since you were the chief Scamdy cheerleader it will all come around in a courtroom at his fraud trial.]

I love my mom, I love my dad, I love my country, and I hate it, too. I love the fact that I can sit here and say whatever the hell I want, trype it out and push a button and make my nonsense the fodder for hudreds or thousands or millions. That's freedom. That's raw democracy. But I wish I could say only good things about my country, my people, our history, or legacy. That would be nice.

[“Trype it out.” A Freudian slip that is ever so TRUTHFUL.]

What do you love? What do you fight for? What would you die for?

[I would DIE for you to finish trying to “trype it out.”]

This is Memorial Day Weekend. Better men than I am or ever will be marched off to fight and die for the best ideals this nation has to offer. This weekend, millions of assholes will stuff themselves into cars and ram down Routh 3 to the Sagamore Bridge for a hoped-for weekend of sunshine on cold Cape Cod beaches. Why? Because they got an extra day off. Sure, they'll maybe get choked up during the ballgame when the extra-special 'God Bless America' gets sung, but hell, Normandy was more than 60 years ago, and sure, Dad fought in Vietnam though he doesn't like to talk about it, and sure, the sister-in-law of the neighbors who moved last year might have had a son who was supposed to get shipped off to Iraq...what was his name?

[Meanwhile Pitt is trying to feed us the “trype” that he is so wonderful because he is sitting in his hole in the wall this weekend instead of going to the beach.]

Do we even remember what we stand for anymore?

[Do you even remember that all essays, even ones that are self-glorifying “trype, have to reach a conclusion?]

When was it that we were last a people governed by something besides ease, or the desire for ease; money, or the desire for money; fear, or the desire to kill what it is we fear? Have we ever been anything other than people motivated by base instincts? Of course. Can we be more than that? Of course.

[And of course your buddy, Scamdy, is not motivated by money, especially that $50,000+ that he scammed with your aid for a non-existent pancreatic cancer operation.]

What do you love? What do you fight for? What would you die for?

[What would you give for Pitt to terminate his repetitive “trype?”]

Those questions need to be asked and answered, and quickly.

[WHEW! FINALLY you finished your “trype,” Pitt. And speaking of questions that need to be asked and answered quickly: Why won’t you post on the web the documentation about Scamdy’s diagnosis and bill for pancreatic cancer that you claim to have on your hard drive?]

Well, I read all that and I thought, damn, that person really knows how to write.

[I agree. Pitt really knows how to “trype it out.”]

What an awesome article ,,,,, It is one of those that will stay in my thoughts for days,,,, haunting, paradoxical, bittersweet…

[…tedious, narcissistic, self-important, laughable, “trype”…


I love that I am alive. Life is good!

[It sure is Scamdy! Don’t you just love the fact that you so easily bilked the DUmmies thanx to the aid of Pied Piper Pitt cheering you on from the sidelines? Yup. Life is good!]

Get off the internet. I am so totally serious. There are some amazing vampires running around lately, and you don't need to bother with it.
Get off, go rest, or I will break your f*cking arms. I swear to God, Andy. Oh, P.S., hi. No go rest.

[Better listen to Pied Piper Pitt, Scamdy. Anything you post in DUmmieland is copied into the DUmmie FUnnies and can and WILL be used against you in a court of law. Please get off the internet, Scamdy, so as to not post things incriminating to Pitt. If Pitt is convicted due to your postings, he will break your f*cking arms.]

Yes sir. Oh and BTW callme...I want to talk to you!

[Good suggestion, Scamdy. You and Pitt need to chat offline and piece together a cover story that might hold up in court.]

I will. If you post again, I smash you.

[I will call you up, Scamdy, to devise a good cover story. However, if you post any more incriminating stuff on the web, I smash you.]

HI Andy. Glad to see you up and at em.

[Hi Andy! Glad to see you up and at them with your miraculous recuperation from pancreatic cancer surgery. Oh, could you give me a phone call from your ICU and maybe we could do some AIM chat on the ICU computer?]

Heeee...I adore both of you boys...now play nice or I'll bang your heads together.

[I adore both those co-conspirators.]

I love everyone with the wisdom to question what is widely accepted.

[Unfortuately, DUmmie LaraMN, if you question the widely accepted “fact” in DUmmieland that Scamdy had pancreatic cancer surgery, you will be tombstoned.]

I love collaboration and the power engendered by that simple gesture.

[That’s true, DUmmie sfexpat2000. We know you love collaborating with Scamdy in his $$$ scam.]

I love a pure heart. Nobody has one, but we can try to attain it.

[How about Scamdy? Doesn’t he have a pure heart?]

I love my kittyboy who is dying of cancer, he will be going to heaven very soon......This is my first pet that I have to put down, pure devastation

[Does your cat have pancreatic cancer? If so, then don’t post that fact in DUmmieland. The words “pancreatic cancer” are TABOO there.]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-26-05 ("My blog is under assault by the graveyard rats" ---Pitt)

As you can tell from the twinkle in his eyes and his ever moving eyebrows, Li’l Beaver is a rather impish critter. And today Li’l Beaver decided to smoke out a Rat by the name of William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt. Ever since Andy Stephenson’s operation yesterday at Johns Hopkins, there has been a blanket of silence in Dummieland thrown over the fact of whether or not he had surgery for Pancreatic Cancer. Every mention of “pancreatic cancer” in DUmmieland has been instantly deleted and thrown down the Memory Pitt by Skinner. Fortunately, a few such deleted posts have been preserved on the DUmmie FUnnies Free Republic thread for posterity. Meanwhile, Skinner’s STONEWALLING partner, Pied Piper Pitt, has maintained an eerie silence over the exact nature of Andy’s surgery. One would have expected that today Pitt would have POSTED something in his Blog about Andy but NO. Instead Pitt posted the usual Leftist bilge without the SLIGHTEST MENTION of Andy despite the fact that he finally completed his surgery. That is, Pitt didn’t mention Andy UNTIL Li’l Beaver set fire to Pitt’s Blog with his ever present cigar. Suddenly Pitt’s Blog received more attention than ever before. Unfortunately for Pitt all the posts were requests that he come clean about the fact that he was shilling for weeks for an unnecessary Johns Hopkins operation for Andy. Yes, Andy could have gotten his surgery performed in Washington state but that would have precluded raising funds for which NO ACCOUNTABILITY was given in DUmmieland while Skinner sat helplessly by while the scam was being perpetrated. So since yesterday’s operation the words “Pancreatic Cancer” have become verboten in DUmmieWorld. However, thanx to Li’l Beaver’s successful effort to smoke out the one who spouts constantly with thesaurus inspired bloviations, Pitt has broken from the DUmmie game plan and flat out declared his unsupported belief in the pancreatic cancer scenario as you can see in his whining DUmmie THREAD whiningly titled, “My blog is under assault by the graveyard rats.” So let us now observe Pied Piper Pitt dashing from the heat of his Blog as he coughs up his latest erroneous Andy proclamation in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, dining on smoked rat, is in the [brackets]:

My blog is under assault by the graveyard rats

[No wonder your fellow students used to beat the crap out you on a regular basis back in the 8th grade, Pitt. They didn’t like sniveling crybabies. “WAAAAAAH!!! MOMMIE!!! MAKE THEM STOP REMINDING EVERYBODY ABOUT WHAT I SAID ABOUT ANDY’S PANCREATIC CANCER!!! WAAAAAH!!!”]

http://blog.pdamerica.org/?p=92

[Thanx for providing us with a link to your bloated blog, Pitt. Now let us go over there and see what all the sniveling is about.]

Update on the Andy Stephenson situation

[Actually there was NO update from you, Pitt, until you were SMOKED OUT.]

Yesterday, Andy went into surgery to remove his tumor. The surgery lasted 7.5 hours, and thankfully all of the tumor was extracted. The doctors also removed half of his pancreas. The tumor itself has been sent to a pathology lab to determine exactly what kind of cancer this was, which means Andy is not out of the woods yet. The cancer could be one of two kinds, and forgive me for not knowing the terms. One kind will mean Andy is looking at good health, and one kind means he will be facing more trouble in the future. We all have our fingers crossed for that pathology report, which should come sometime next week.

[Why the sudden indecisiveness as to the nature of Andy’s problem? Here is what you said on May 18 PDA Blog, Pitt: "I have come to a few absolutely concrete conclusions. First, Andy does in fact have pancreatic cancer…”]

I would like to take a moment now to speak a bit about the graveyard rats that have infested this blog….

[And forced me against my will to comment about Andy.]

If you scroll through the other blog posts here, you’ll see a bunch of empty entries by someone named ‘Anonymous.’ Before I cleaned up, these were posts left behind by ghouls who have stapled their reputations to the conspiracy theory that Andy did not have cancer and was scamming. They have been pushing this idea for weeks, and have only recently been forced to deal with the fact that their lies and unutterably disgusting motives have been exposed.

[“Ghouls” that broke through the DUmmie inspired blanket of silence as to the nature of Andy’s surgery. BTW, how do you even know whether or not Andy is scamming since you have NO INFORMATION as to how much Andy took in for his PANCREATIC CANCER operation. Since Andy’s pleas, aided by your cheerleading, appeared on over a hundred websites, those funds should add up to quite a chunk of change. Of course, you have NO IDEA of just how much that is.]


The confirmation provided by Skinner, administrator of DemocraticUnderground, the documentation I have seen with my own eyes which put the tab for this surgery at $50,000 and confirms that Andy does have pancreatic cancer, and the conversations I have had with Andy and the others in the hospital have left these graveyard rats standing in the ashes of their own lies.

[Um, actually NO Pitt. There was NO confirmation of pancreatic cancer by Skinner. In fact, not only did Skinner NOT mention pancreatic cancer but ALL REFERENCES to pancreatic cancer were quickly deleted in DUmmieland and tossed down the Memory Pitt. However, it is nice to know that you put your head on the chopping block, ONCE AGAIN, with your misinformed declaration that Andy had pancreatic cancer.]

This won’t stop them, though. I will delete any trolling they do in other threads here, but I will leave what they post in this one alone. You will get the chance to see what true wretchedness looks like when they post here, and they will, because their shabby reputations are in ruins and they stand today in disgrace.

[Wretched, wretched Freepers who dare to question the Ingsoc Party Line. Andy has pancreatic cancer. Andy has ALWAYS had pancreatic cancer. And the five fingers you see before you are really four fingers.]

Watch them. They are graveyard rats, and they make me hope devoutly that there is indeed an afterlife where the acts and actions of a lifetime are judged, and judged harshly.

[The only RAT I’m seeing right now, Pitt, is the Big RAT that got smoked out from his Party Line position of SILENCE a few hours ago. And now let us see what your fellow DUmmies in Dummieland are saying, Pitt..]

Last time Will posted about Andy. The comments were utterly vile. I can imagine what the deleted ones were like.

[They were horrible, HORRIBLE! They dared to question the DUmmie Ingsoc Party Line about NOT mentioning the words, “pancreatic cancer.”]

i'm not seeing comments

[You are also not seeing any mention by Skinner of the words, “pancreatic cancer.”]

Seriously, though, those are vile people.

[You mean the vile DUmmies who gloated over Laura Ingraham’s breast cancer in such a way that even Elizabeth Edwards was disgusted by them?]

They're deeply disturbed, inhumane, vindictive, pathetic losers Who have nothing better to do but plot against a hospital patient who's fighting for his life. It's inexplicable. I've never met anyone this cruel in real life. Who can explain it?

[I should be insulted by your remarks, DUmmie Stephanie but…]

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1410544/posts?q=1&&page=764#764"

[…You REDEEMED yourself by posting a link to the DUmmie FUnnies in DUmmieland. May I add you to the DUFU PING List?]

what am i missing?

[Your mind.]

Thanks, btw, for your great posts about Andy.

[A subject upon which Pitt has been silent until we smoked him out.]

OMG! These people are f*cking evil. I mean I knew they were assholes, but some of that shit is just beyond the pale.

[DAMN them for not swallowing Andy’s scam served up by the ever compliant Pitt.]

I have all their ISP numbers if that may prove to be helpful at some point.

[Lock those ISP numbers in the same ice cream chest where you keep the strawberries, Captain Pitt.]

Well do you want us to do anything?

[Yeah. Post the words “pancreatic cancer” in DUmmieland and count how many seconds it takes for Skinner to delete your post.]

I deleted the posts in the other threads because they were off-topic. It does serve a purpose. It creates a billboard for why we have to win. Right now, the sentiments in that post are the ruling mindset of this country.

[Correct Pitt. It’s that HORRIBLE ruling mindset that narrowmindedly thinks their should be some sort of financial accountability in fundraisers.]

If they were fundraising for one of their own, I would at least respect them for that.

[If we were fundraising for one of our own, we would establish an ACCOUNTABLE fund SEPARATE from the person who needs the money. For example a bank account for that purpose from which the money would be transferred DIRECTLY to the hospital doing the medical procedure. As it stands now, you have NO IDEA how much Andy has scammed via the websites which number over a hundred.]

I think it's important - I'm glad Will left it up. THIS is who's been attacking Andy, attacking us for helping Andy, attacking Dan Rather, attacking Hillary Clinton, attacking John Kerry, attacking Newsweek. Let's see them for what they are - hardly human. It's a fight to the death and they've proven it. Bring them out into the sunlight - they can't survive.

[DAMN those Freepers to HELL for exposing as forgeries the letters Dan Rather used to smear Bush. Have they no shame!]

If I were Will I'd complete the cycle and link back to the FR thread where they are slapping themselves on the back for such a great group effort they are doing with this.

[EXCELLENT idea!!! Li’l Beaver LOVES the limelight!]

here's the FR thread >

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1410544/posts?q=1&&page=764#764"

[That’s the SECOND time you’ve posted a link to the DUmmie FUnnies, DUmmie Stephanie… I think I’m in LOVE!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-25-05 (Skinner STONEWALLING Scamdy's "Pancreatic Cancer" Surgery)

"Andy does in fact have pancreatic cancer, and is a long way from being out of the woods." So was that a quote from Skinner today regarding Scamdy's operation at Johns Hopkins? NOPE. That was a May 18 quote from Pied Piper Pitt ABSOLUTELY asserting that Scamdy does indeed WITHOUT A DOUBT have pancreatic cancer. So when we FINALLY saw Skinner come out of his ostrich mode to report on Scamdy's surgery we AT LAST expected to hear the details in his DUmmie THREAD titled, "Johns Hopkins has verified that Andy Stephenson is in surgery right now." I looked high and low and even used the FIND function but, guess what? NOT A WORD about pancreatic cancer from Skinner. As it stands right now, Scamdy could have had any sort of surgery from gall bladder operation to emergency gerbil removal but NOT A WORD from Skinner about pancreatic cancer. In reality, Skinner would now be crowing about how his veracity has been REDEEMED by the fact that Scamdy had pancreatic cancer. However his SILENCE on this SPEAKS VOLUMES. Let us now open an incision into DUmmieland as we see Skinner's modified limited hangout in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the STONEWALL unfold with fascination, is in the [brackets]:

Johns Hopkins has verified that Andy Stephenson is in surgery right now.

[Great Skinner! Now you can find out for sure if Scamdy had pancreatic cancer and prove all those fascistic Freepers wrong! Right? ...Uh, right?]

I just got off the telephone with the Johns Hopkins Hospital office of corporate communications. They confirmed to me that Andy Stephenson is "in surgery as we speak" at Johns Hopkins Hospital. They also confirmed that the surgery was originally scheduled for tomorrow, but it was changed to today.



[Can you also confirm for everybody how much $$$ Andy SCAMMED from you gullible DUmmies for a non-existent PANCREATIC CANCER surgery?]

Now that Johns Hopkins has verified directly to me that Andy is in fact a patient at their facility, we consider the issue of his alleged fraud to be resolved and closed from further discussion on Democratic Underground. We understand why some members may have had questions or concerns about this issue in the past when the facts were not known. There is a huge difference between the malicious trolls who outright lied (and were since banned), and legitimate DU members who had honest questions. The fact that I have verified that Andy is indeed in surgery does not give anyone license to ostracize or attack DU members who held a differing opinion in the past. We hope that now we can put this conflict behind us and move toward healing for this community.



[YUP! We can put it all to rest...as soon as Johns Hopkins verifies that Scamdy had PANCREATIC CANCER surgery. After all that was the sob story SCAMDY used to scam the DUmmies out of their money. Remember, he stated that he HAD to go to Johns Hopkins because of their Whipple Procedure for PANCREATIC CANCER. Otherwise, if it was some other surgery he could have had it done in the state of Washington without running the scam on you DUmmies.]

We wish Andy Stephenson good luck in his surgery. He has had a very tough time these last few months, and hopefully now he can begin the road to recovery. We are anxious to hear any updates that people have about his condition. If anyone does have any news, please feel free to post about it on Democratic Underground.

We wish you would just forget that the REASON for the Andy Scam was to raise $$$ for PANCREATIC CANCER surgery. Please toss that memory down the DUmmieland Memory Hole. Please feel free to post anything about it in DUmmieland except for any mention of you-know-what. It has been tossed down the memory hole so it never happened despite what you think Inner Party Member Pitt stated just last week.]

Skinner

DU Admin

[Now that Big Brother Skinner has stated that the four fingers he is holding in his hand are really five, let us hear from the DUmmie Prols...]

Thanks for clearing it up

[Thanks for clearing it up and tossing PANCREATIC CANCER down the Memory Hole.]

Good luck Andy. Come back stronger than ever!



[...And scam us again!]

I'm glad that this is sufficiently 'cleared up' although still amazed at the mayhem over the last couple weeks.

[Pancreatic cancer is not mentioned! Pancreatic cancer has NEVER been mentioned!]

God bless Andy. And thank-you Skinner for verifying this and putting up with all of the crap that has gone on over the past few months.



[And thank-you Skinner for tossing PANCREATIC CANCER down the DUmmieland Memory Hole!]

I'm sending strength to Andy

[War is Peace!
Freedom is Slavery!
Ignorance is Strength!]

Skinner, with all due respect, I'd like to point out that the organizers of the fundraiser, myself being one of the most active, went out of our way throughout this process to provide the best answers we could to our fellow DUers who asked reasonable questions, yourself included. As this situation developed, we were able to lay hands on better information. That is the nature of medical crises.
And I'd also like to point out that we have been accused of everything from obfuscation to outright fraud. It has been a sad time in many ways.



[You mean obfuscations such as Skinner never even mentioning whether or not Scamdy had PANCREATIC CANCER surgery, DUmmie sfexpat2000? NAW! We would never accuse you of that. PANCREATIC CANCER has been tossed down the DUmmieland Memory Hole. It was NEVER mentioned, especially not by Pied Piper Pitt in his May 18 PDA Blog.]

Being part of helping Andy has renewed my faith in what people who come together can achieve. I am really proud to be a part of this DU community, and grateful for what it gives me every day. So, thank you Skinner!

[Thank you, Skinner for allowing us to be fleeced by Scamdy for a NON-EXISTENT pancreatic cancer operation.]

I think you guys handled this well. It's a shame about the trolls, but I suppose that's the nature of the medium.

[DAMN those trolls for quoting Pied Piper Pitt's May 18th PDA Blog! Don't they know its been tossed down the Memory Hole?]

It would be nice if people who have some 'pologizing to do would be big enough to do so.

[Yeah, it would be nice for Pied Piper Pitt to apologize for FALSELY claiming that Scamdy had pancreatic cancer.]

I appreciate the acknowledgement that one could ask questions and express frustration without having malicious intentions. Groupthink is for the birds. I know some of you are going to hate me for saying this, but there is a lingering question: was the operation in fact for pancreatic cancer? If this question is not explicitly resolved I think we can expect ongoing doubt from the hardcore naysayers. If something is provided that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was in fact a cancer surgery, then those hardcore naysayers would be proved to have harassed a cancer patient. If that is what they did I think they should be made to face that fact. All that said, I hope the poor guy gets well quickly. I'm glad he has good friends around to take care of him. I am going to take some time to appreciate my health today. It's something too many of us take for granted.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Don't you know that ALL MENTION of pancreatic cancer has been tossed down the DUmmieland Memory Hole! As a matter of fact, Mizmoon, your Fascistic Reply #65 on this thread has been tossed down the Memory Hole! What? You say your post has already been copied and pasted in the Reply section of the May 24th edition of the DUmmie FUnnies thread in Freeperland? DAMN IT TO HELL! For that infraction of the Ingsoc rules you will be taken away to Room 101 and reprogrammed by Inner Party Member Pitt! Scamdy's pancreatic cancer does NOT exist. Scamdy's pancreatic cancer has NEVER existed!]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-24-05 ("I just got off the phone with Gore Vidal"---Andy Stephenson)

One fringe benefit of being a famous scam artist for Andy Stephenson is that he has become a CELEB in his own mind. Yes, Scamdy has now revealed that he speaks to Gore Vidal regularly about twice a month as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “I just got off the phone with Gore Vidal.” What next? Will Scamdy tell us that he communes with the spirit of Truman Capote or shmoozes with the ghost of Tennessee Williams? Enjoy the fame for now Scamdy because methinks you will soon be bunkmates with the essence of Al Capone after this Thursday. As usual the star-struck DUmmie ravings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, channeling author James Jones, is in the [brackets]:

I just got off the phone with Gore Vidal.

[I just had a chit-chat myself with Theodore Dreiser.]

He was asking after my health again and telling me not to worry. He is such an inciteful human. Told me a very funny story about Peter Otolle...which made me laugh out loud!

[A funny story about Peter O’Toole? Just the name alone being bandied about by you two is good enough for lots of laughs.]

We talked politics...the nuclear option and for a few minutes I forgot I was sick. He is very witty and damned nice. I wish I were 20 years older and had known him back when. I like talking to him and it is very comfortable when I do.

[Nuclear option? Are you sure it wasn’t Amy Carter you were talking to, Scamdy?]

Color me starstruck.

[Call it Amore!]

Name dropper!

[Andy could have told you about talking football with Dave Kopay.]

That is the only one I will drop...cause he is my fave.

[Good. Then you don’t have to tell us about how Siegfried, now that Boy is gone, is looking for you to start a new act with him called Siegfried and Goy.]

Yes, he's an amazing man....Very "inciteful". I like the implications of your spelling!

[Yeah. I tremble to think what Gore “incites” in Scamdy.]

Spelling police? but yes he is "inciteful" He thinks Frist is a fool.

[Gore Vidal calls you from Italy to discuss Capitol Hill politics? I BEEEELEEEEEVE!!!]

I think Gore Vidal is the coolest person on Earth Andy. Hope you're feeling ok.

[Andy is feeling great since he knows his pancreatic cancer will miraculously disappear before Thursday.]

I just want the surgery to be over!

[It might never even begin, Scamdy.]

What do you make of "Visit to a Small Planet", Andy?

[What do you make of “Visit to a Small Tumor,” Scamdy?]

Gore said if Frist gets his way Democratic rule here in the US will be dead and we will effectively be a bona fide dictatorship.

[So what is Gore’s DUmmie screen name? “Mopaul?”]

does he talk in private conversation in the same way he does when you hear him in interviews, speeches etc ?

[Exactly the same except with a pronounced lisp.]

He is quite animated and he does talk like he does in public.

[“Hello Scamdy. This is Gore Vidal. Sorry you’re not in but let me leave this message on your machine. Anyway, I will be in Baltimore this weekend and I’m feeling quite animated. Let’s get together for a late night dinner. Make that a VERY late night room service dinner.”]

He said to me in regards to Franken... Well lets just say Gore is not a fan of Franken.

[Why? Did Franken turn him down on having a late night room service dinner with him?]

wow! can i touch you?

[That’s what Gore said to Scamdy.]

Unfortunately...He does not use a computer. He still types on and old Selectric typewriter. When I want to email him something...I have to fax it.

[If Gore did use a computer I can make a good guess as to what type of websites he would be surfing to.]

How did you happen to call him? He is so in another world from us here it seems and that's just great. Are you two friends or something, or did you just call him to chat?

[Didn’t you know that Gore Vidal runs a chat line? He charges $2.95 per minute.]

Yes GV is my friend. I talk to him often and he has been concerned about me. So he called.

[Soooo…. At which bar did you two meet?]

That's some distinguished company you keep there, man.

[Andy loves hanging out with famous meat, uh, I mean men.]

We are friends...I talk to him about 2 times a month.

[Gore Vidal is just one of the MANY MANY famous names on Scamdy’s rolodex along with Richard Chamberlain and Tab Hunter.]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-23-05 (Andy Stephenson vs Laura Ingraham)

There is currently a total lockdown on posts about Andy Stephenson (except what he posts about himself) in DUmmieland. Anything posted about the AndyScam situation is immediately tossed down the DUmmie memory hole. Meanwhile the Inner Party Member O’Brien of DUmmieland, Pied Piper Pitt, has reversed himself yet again after expressing strong doubts about Andy’s cancer. The latest directive is that Andy has pancreatic cancer. Andy has ALWAYS had pancreatic cancer. Yes, Pitt. Oceana is at war with Eastasia. Oceana has ALWAYS been at war with East Asia. Pitt/O’Brien has put his four fingers up before us and told us that he is holding up five fingers because the state says he is holding up five fingers as in this infamous Pitt/O’Brien statement explaining why Andy has ALWAYS had pancreatic cancer: “It's true because I say so. It's true because thousands of others say so.” And like the world of 1984, DUmmieland also has many Hate rallies. One such Hate Rally in particular is memorable because the target, Laura Ingraham, really does have cancer, unlike Andy who only has pancreatic cancer in an alternate reality. So why is DUmmie invective directed at Laura Ingraham? Simple. Because she is GUILTY of Thought Crimes. Meanwhile Andy Stephenson is given a complete pass from all skepticism because Pitt/O’Brien has decreed that his four fingers are really five. So let us now look at how the DUmmies treat a REAL victim of cancer who happens to be a conservative in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Laura Ingraham has breast cancer.” As usual the DUmmie Hate Rally screechings are in Ingsoc/Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, viewing the proceedings from Room 101, is in the [brackets]:

Laura Ingraham has breast cancer. Let's keep her in our prayers

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Your normal human sympathy plus your low post count gives you away!]

Cancer isn't a good thing, but it's her problem. I fell no obligation to pray for people who make the world worse.

[A normal reaction…for a DUmmie.]

Lucifer has cancer...please include him in your prayers. David Duke has cancer please pray for him. Liberal Andy has been diagnosed with cancer...if I do pray...I will pray for him.

[Correction: Liberal Andy does NOT have pancreatic cancer. However, you don’t have to pray for him. Just send in your money.]

She has to muster what few shreds of her life are not based on lies and evil and fight this on her own.

[Speaking of based on lies… How is Andy’s NON-EXISTENT pancreatic cancer?]

i hope she has to declare bankruptsy and see's how the other side lives!!

[At least she won’t be hitting up folks for PayPal payments for a PHONY pancreatic cancer operation.]

Of course we wish the best for her in this fight.

[Huh? This doesn’t seem like the typical DUmmie expression of non-sympathy for Laura. Must read more from this poster…]

I have been a Democrat for a long time, and part of the Democratic principles that attracted me as a young person and kept me a Democrat all these years is our compassion. Democrats are simply good and decent people. And good and decent people want everyone to do well -- those who agree with them and those who do not. We fight for the right of voices with which we disagree to speak out, for the right of people to say things we don't believe to be true, even for the right to be malicious and mean-spirited. If we fight for the right for LI to say what she says, how in the world can we use our disagreement with those words as an excuse not to be compassionate in her fight with cancer. Being willing to have her voice muted by illness is the same thing as not wanting her voice to be heard. It is not Democratic or democratic.

[Too rational here. DOES NOT COMPUTE! Must read more from this mystery poster…]

I hope others will join me in wishing her Godspeed in this fight, for the easiest road that she can have, and even for the development of compassion about others who have faced hardship and disease without the support network she -- and I -- have. As I go through treatment for this same disease, I think often about the women who fight breast cancer without health insurance, without a supportive husband, with a physically demanding job that doesn't know or doesn't care that she is exhausted and weak and aching, with children but no child care. I find it absolutely impossible that LI won't also have those thoughts run through her head or that she won't rethink her position on health care or the social safety net. Pray for her health AND her enlightenment, if you must. But pray, with me, for her good health.

[Praying for Laura’s good health? That will put you at odds with the vast majority of the DUmmies. And, lo and behold, this “mystery poster” turns out to be none other than Elizabeth Edwards herself. Nice of you to express sympathy towards Laura, Elizabeth. However, you might get an education into DUmmie hatred by reading their sicko posts on this thread. As to your own medical problems, the EVIL FASCISTS on the Free Republic had nothing but sympathy and good wishes for you as you can see on this Freeper THREAD.


Elizabeth, you are clearly a terrific person and of a type who is the Soul of the Democratic Party. But what we Democrats need now, as we face the greatest threat to the Constitution of the United States since the Civil War (perhaps EVER, when viewed from the angle of Caesar Bush crossing the Rubicon), are some Hard and Tough and MEAN Warriors.

[“MEAN.” That certainly describes the DUmmies. Continue DUmmie tom_paine…]


And that, by necessity, requires hardening of the heart. It might not be right but if the choice is hard heart to insure restoration of Free America, then I will choose Hard Heart every time.

[Cold heart too. Continue DUmmie tom_paine…]

And no disrespect to your kindness and decency, but when have these Bushevik Monsters EVER shown us anything of the sort?

[Um…Did you check the Freeper thread posted above you, DUmmie tom_paine? Continue with your spew…]

Maybe it was when they used the Wellstone Funeral as grotesque political tool in 2002.

[Oh, so it was the REPUBLICANS who used the Wellstone funeral as a grotesque political tool? Nice rewrite of history. Maybe you tossed the video of the actual funeral down the Memory Hole.]

You may be able to retain your good will towards these monsters. I cannot.

[Thank you for that enlightening castigation of Elizabeth Edwards for urging sympathy for Laura Ingraham, DUmmie tom_paine.]

But we lose our credibility as advocates for decency and truth if we say hateful things about her vulnerability to a disease.

[DUmmieland lost its credibility a long time ago, Mrs. Edwards.]

But I cannot in good conscience pray for the health of someone who has abetted UnAmerican Totalitarianism with all of her heart.

[But did you in good conscience send in your money to someone who has abetted a FRAUD with all his heart?]

She Probably Gave it to Herself...All that Hate, Lies, Anger...

[Lies…Something Scamdy with his non-existent pancreatic cancer is very familiar with.]

F*ck Laura Ingrahm. F*ck her.

[Elizabeth Edwards asks for sympathy towards Laura Ingraham and this is the DUmmie reply.]

You want me to pray for her? Yech. How about you want me to pray for Hitler? No, not going to do it. No, not Stalin either. How about you want me to pray for Osama Bin Ladin? Not probably going to happen. Rush Limbaugh? Hannity? Medvid (Medvidiot)? O'Really? Rupert? The Bush family? Naw.... My best is going for Andy.

[Your best goes to Andy who is FAKING his disease. Interesting.]

But those who spout hatred on a regular basis often manifest that hatred in themselves. And this may have happened in Laura Ingraham's case.

[So what happened in Andy’s case? Ooops! Just remembered. He does NOT have pancreatic cancer.]

I can't believe the shit I am reading here.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

These comments on DU are absolutely predictable. Every time someone with whom we disagree has a health problem or dies, the celebration begins.....

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

She's got all of konservative amerika praying for her. Who's praying for the single parent with cancer, or anyone else not in the media limelight for that matter? Those are the people I pray for. People like her sold their souls to the devil to get where they are. Let Lucifer comfort her in her time of trial and tribulation.

[Phew! Two DUmmie threads in a row before yours displaying some normality. Thank you for bringing this discussion back to its normal Dummie hate level.]

But when a person has that much hatred, it often manifests itself in physical ailments. For example, my first wife had so much hatred against me and resentment against society in general for the way she was treated for being a lesbian, she died of heart and kidney failure at age 46.

[Um… I could ask why you married a lesbian but since this is DUmmieland I guess it is not considered unusual.]

I didn't shed a tear for Barbara Olsen and I won't work up too much sympathy for Ingraham. Karma's a bitch, ain't it?

[Will Scamdy be saying that when he gets the handcuffs slapped on him this Thursday at Johns Hopkins.]

Couldn't have happened to a kinder, sweeter, more gentle...HARPY!!!!! It would be absolutely terrible if she choked on her own vomit while under anesthesia!!! I'm praying, I'm praying, I'm praying...

[Note to Elizabeth Edwards: The above is a comment from a TYPICAL DUmmie.]

I'm sick of reading these comments on a daily basis. And I, for one, am leaving permanently.

[A DUmmie sees the LIGHT and, as a result, LEAVES Dummieland.]

Locking......This discussion has run its course. DU Moderator.

[The Truths HURTS which is why you are also locking all Scamdy threads too.]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-17-05 ("I'm pretty upset right now, and I need an explanation" ---Pitt)

YOWZA! YOWZA! YOWZA!!! It’s RED ALERT time in the AndyScam scandal!!! A regular 5-ALARM fire has broken out in DUmmieland. Pied Piper Pitt has FINALLY awakened from his insomniac state of apathy and has DENOUNCED Andy Stephenson in this THREAD titled, “I'm pretty upset right now, and I need an explanation.” I’m sure you all are HOT to get right into this firestorm so without further adieu let’s get right to it. Pied Piper Pitt’s ANGRY RED HOT posts as well as those of his fellow DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Dummieland trying to extinguish the flames of outrage with gasoline, is in the brackets:

I'm pretty upset right now, and I need an explanation

[It was ALL explained for you days ago right here in the DUmmie FUnnies, Pitt. I guess you were trying so desperately to get some sleep that you didn’t notice.]

As you all know, I was one of the people who took point on raising money for Andy. I wrote about it for truthout two or three times, and convinced the crew at Progressive Democrats of America as well that we needed to raise a call for help.

[Your choice, Pitt: Were you a sap or a shill?]

This is what I wrote for truthout on May 3rd:

"A few weeks ago, Andy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, one of the more dangerous varieties of the disease. His doctors told him he needed a Whipple procedure to get at the tumor, and only a few hospitals in America can perform this complicated procedure with the required competence. To compound the problem, Andy shares the plight of millions of others in our disgusting for-profit health care system and does not have health insurance."

[That taste of Scamdy Kool-Aid does tend to leave a sour taste in the mouth. Eh, Pitt?]

This is what I wrote on the PDA blog, in our call for help, on April 29th:

"Several weeks ago, Andy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He was recently told that he must undergo what is called a Whipple Procedure. This is a very serious surgery that few hospitals in America are skilled enough to perform well, and requires significant time for recovery. Fortunately, some friends managed to get Andy a slot at Johns Hopkins Medical Center, one of the premier hospitals for this type of procedure. He is slated for the procedure in the second week of May. Unfortunately, the hospital requires a $25,000 down-payment before they assent to doing the Whipple, and requires another $25,000 once the procedure is done. They are expecting the down-payment immediately."

[A FOOL and his money are soon parted. Same goes for his mind too.]

The basis for this started way back in February. On the 29th, I posted this truthout blog entry, which I reposted here on the first and fifteenth of every month to help raise money:

"For the last several weeks, Andy has been suffering through a bout of Hepatitis. The word came down yesterday, however, that his situation is far more serious. 'I apparently have a tumor growing around the bile duct where it passes through my pancreas," he wrote. "The tissue sample was consistent with malignancy; it could be benign but I am planning for the worst.'"

Note that here it says 'tumor.' In subsequent weeks I was told that it was pancreatic cancer requiring a Whipple. Note also that the fundraising for Andy did not start a week or so ago, but started three months ago.

[So you swallowed Scamdy Kool-Aid from the get-go. It sure doesn’t say much for your judgement, Pitt.]

I woke up today to this DU thread, in which it was reported:

"fyi: it is a tumour on the duct, not the pancreas themselves. it looks to not have spread at all. it is not pancreatic cancer as others have posted, but if it was not caught early enough, it would have certainly spread there."

"...as others have posted..."

I am one of those "others" who posted it was pancreatic cancer, requiring a Whipple. I posted it here, on truthout, and on PDA. I did so because that is what I was told was the diagnosis, repeatedly, by both Andy and others.

[“others” = “suckers”]

Now that it turns out not to be the case, I have some questions:

[I have a question for you, Pitt. Why are you JUST NOW waking up to this AndyScam when the whole scam has been revealed in the DUmmie FUnnies since last week? But continue…]

1. If it was not the very serious pancreatic cancer, why did the surgery need to be done at Johns Hopkins?

[$$$. And the best way to raise it is to screech pancreatic surgery needed at Johns Hopkins.]

2. If a Whipple was not required, why was $25,000 and then $50,000 needed for this surgery? Andy could have gotten this far-less-serious procedure done back in Seattle for a hell of a lot less money.

[Um…maybe because Andy is a CON MAN as has been mentioned for WEEKS here in the DUmmie FUnnies?]

3. Why was I personally told this was pancreatic cancer? Why was I allowed to repeat this now-inaccurate diagnosis many times without anyone correcting me?

[Because Andy knows a FOOL when he sees one.]

Understand: I believe Andy has a tumor of some kind, and this requires medical attention. I do not think this entire situation was fabricated from nothing.

[I happen to have an ingrown toenail, Pitt. Could you please raise money for me and tell everyone it is for cancer of the foot?]

But the 400 people who will come into this thread with "Andy doesn't need this stress" can hold your water. Andy is apparently a hell of a lot less ill than I and others were led to believe, and I need some answers. I put my reputation, the reputation of truthout, the reputation of PDA, and the reputations of all the people who work for those organizations on the line not once, not twice, but every day for weeks on this. I have a huge, huge responsibility here, and I am not going to just let that drop.

[Don’t worry about Andy. He is the FATTEST pancreatic cancer patient in history. You could have figured that out for yourself if you just bother to analyze for a half second those pics he posted recently of himself with chubby cherubic cheeks. As to your reputation, Pitt, I think that already went down the toilet when you posted your HILARIOUS Hockey Puck theory of geopolitics a few weeks ago.]

I have a personal reason for asking these questions over and above everything else. A great and good friend of PDA, activist Damu Smith, was recently diagnosed with advanced colon cancer. There is no ambiguity about this diagnosis. But because I was told Andy had pancreatic cancer requiring a $50,000 Whipple in the best hospital on the Eastern seaboard, I talked PDA into diverting time and resources towards Andy. This wound up diverting time and resources away from Damu.

[Would it make you feel better to know that Andy bought himself a pet puppy?]

I would like some answers. No wait and see. I have spent time with Andy, worked with him, thought I knew him well enough to vouch for him in a time of crisis. I am feeling personally betrayed right now, and furthermore I have put far more than my own feelings and standing on the line here.

[You could have had your answers long ago, Pitt, if you actually paid attention to the DUmmie FUnnies. We were the FIRST to break the Bev Harris scandal. And we are the FIRST to break the AndyScam scandal. (Please take note, Mary Matalin).]

If you think I'm a bastard for asking, I will live with that. But if this is not explained to a degree I find satisfactory, there is going to be hell to pay.

[What are you going to do? Give Scamdy a Bowel Flush? And now on to the commentary of the DUmmie bystanders in this burning HOT melodrama…]

There is nothing wrong or offensive in anything you said. You want answers and you deserve them. I am certain others feel just the same way that you do. I among them.

[You could have had ALL the answers about the AndyScam long ago merely by checking out the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Question though and I'm not trying to discount your concern in any way . . .What is the difference between saying "I apparently have a tumor growing around the bile duct where it passes through my pancreas" and "it is a tumour on the duct, not the pancreas themselves?" They sound like they're describing the same thing to me.

[I’ll let Pied Piper Pitt answer that question. Take ‘er away, Pitt!]

That was February. In the time since, I was told it was pancreatic cancer requiring a WEhipple. I was told this by Andy. I put that third quote in there to underscore the fact that fundraising for Andy didn'st start here a couple of weeks ago, but has been ongoing for three months.

[Uh-Oh! But will you testify to that in court during the AndyScam trial, Pitt?]

Well, I have no clue what's going on. I trust both of you and to see that you aren't totally together on this, I don't know what to think. I'll wait to see what the answers are and what you make of them. *lost*

[*lost* ---You got that right.]

Just curious. If you spent time with Andy, worked with him, and knew him on a personal level - to whatever degree - how is it that you and he never discussed his diagnosis in detail?

[Because Pied Piper Pitt will unquestioningly swallow any Kool-Aid served to him by a Leftist.]

Perhaps you need to talk to Andy. After all, he would be the only one who could truly provide you with the answers you need. Besides, this is DU, after all, and shit can get flung around with great abandon, with matters being taken out of context, and people making mountains out of molehills. I'm assuming that you have a way of contacting Andy, I would suggest that you do. perhaps he can provide you with a copy of his doctor's diagnosis.

[Andy Stephenson is just $10 away from calling Pied Piper Pitt with a full explanation.]

Much as I pray for Andy's good health, I get the feeling I have missed something cuz I don't understand the nuances.

[Here’s a little “nuance” for you: Andy Stephenson SCAMMED buku bucks for the second time in less than 6 months out of you incredibly GULLIBLE DUmmies despite all the warnings posted about him.]

If people stop trying to make this world a better place because of being mis-led ( AND THAT'S NOT AN ASSUMPTION- SIMPLY A POSSIBILITY)- we should all drink the kool-aid asap.

[Um…I think you ALREADY did drink the Scamdy Kool-Aid.]

I just found out in this thread that our friend Damu is sick. Damu is an absolute stand-up guy!!!!!!! My husband has done work with him and Black Voices for Peace over the past few years and he is an inspiration to all. The news that he is sick is shocking and disheartening. I would hate for our side to lose someone so dedicated and valuable. My prayers go out for Damu and his family.

[Yeah, well too bad you fools already sent your money to Scamdy who is NOT sick with cancer.]


I think you need to talk to Andy directly, Will. He's the only one who can provide the answers.

[Andy Stephenson is only $10 away from providing you with the answers.]

Exactly. Why air a concern publicly before giving a "friend" an opportunity to respond? IMO, this is a perfect example of "shit flinging"... contact Andy! Go straight to the source.

[It looks like something is hitting the fan bigtime in Dummieland!]

It was the source that got me going on pancreatic cancer, Whipples and fifty grand. I would like a public disclosure for reasons I think are clearly understandable.

[That “source” will will make full disclosure to you, Pitt, after he is done flushing his bowels.]


especially since the "proof" was the copy of the certified check, not the cancelled check

[Actually copies of cashiers checks but its nice to know you read the DUmmie FUnnies.]

So how are your sleeping patterns? Do you find lack of sleep makes you jumpy? Andy is your friend, or so you say, so call and ask him. And go to the doctor so that you can sleep. Take care of your own health.

[Pied Piper Pitt is just $10 away from getting an hour of sleep this month.]

... Will, thank you for broaching a subject many of us have been afraid to post about and Andy, all I would like is a consistent history of what was known and when. What is the real diagnosis and do you really need a Whipple procedure? Sorry if I sound harsh, but I'm feeling particularly disillusioned this afternoon.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! Give to Scamdy until it hurts. And then give EVEN MORE!]

For the life of me, I can't understand why someone in a position such as yourself would not get the patient to sign a HIPPA form and then send the form on to the hospital. There really is no need for all this public thrashing around. There is no need to wonder what is going on. The facts are readily available. The hospital can then send you ALL his medical records. Then any doubts could be absolutely and completely resolved.

[Um…maybe because Pied Piper Pitt is a DUhhhhh…mmie?]

It appears that horse has left the barn. Had I been a professional about this - instead of a trusting friend - I would have required that a hell of a long time ago before posting any calls for help.

[Thanx for “enlightening” us, Pitt… DUhhhhh…mmie!]

I was going to post a similiar thread. But was waiting for the PM and e-mail that I sent to Skinner to be answered before I did. I don't really care who flames me or whether I receive a tombstone for saying this, but I've been very uncomfortable with the silence on this board when it comes to this issue and any verification of the cause I donated not just once, but twice to. Would I have donated had I known it wasn't a life threatening condition? Probably not, because we all know there are MANY DU'ers on this board with medical problems and no insurance to pay for them. If I donated to Andy, I have to donate to them all. I dunno. I hope Andy comes along and clears this all up and that I get rid of this bad feeling I have that I've just had my pocket picked.

[Welcome to “The Silence of the Scams,” DUhhhh…mmie!]

It does "feel" odd, and has now for a couple of weeks. I would have thought by now we would have had the definitive answer, but there are just more questions.

[Well, don’t look to Skinner for answers…or leadership.]

I think all of us at DU need an explanation, because we all invested our time, money and our emotions to this calling. We deserve to be told the circumstances exactly as they are. No more embellishment, just the facts. If this matter wasn't handled on the straight and narrow, then someone needs to be accountable.

[You want the truth? Alright, I’ll TELL YOU THE TRUTH!!! You got SCAMMED!!! And if you want to hold someone accountable, then start with Skinner who idly sat by while allowing Bev Harris’ former partner in crime scammed EVEN MORE money from you incredibly GULLIBLE DUmmies. And after holding Skinner accountable, then hold YOURSELF accountable for allowing your feeble mind to guide you.]

Will, you have to get some sleep. Your lack of sleep is impairing your judgment. This is not an attack, it is an observation and you have let all of the Lounge know you have terrible insomnia. Deal with that, for your sake and for those who trust your judgment. Right now, you aren't using any imho.

[Sleep Will. It is ALL a bad dream. Andy is NOT scamming everybody based on your word. It is only a nightmare you are having, Pitt. When you wake up, ALL will be well…in your alternate reality.]

Skinner was going to get in touch with Andy and get him to give his permission to his doctors to discuss his situation. Then he (Skinner) was going to tell us here at DU what the doctors said. What is the status of that?

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Does that answer your question?]

It wasn't just here it was all over the net. Mike Malloy, Thom Hartmann, the Al Franken message boards, the Randi Rhodes message boards, numerous other websites. Always it was posted that Andy had pancreatic cancer which has a less than 10% survival rate and not pancreatitis (or whatever it is he is supposed to have now) which has a greater than 95% survival rate.

[It’s nice to know that DUmmieland has a lot of Leftist company in the Gullible Fools Dept..]

Couple of things. According to what I have seen, the Whipple is not going to be preformed now. The diagnosos I was told in the last weeks was difinitive: Pancreatic cancer needing a Whipple. That was the basis of the calls for help, that it was immediate and life-and-death. Like I said, I don't doubt that Andy has a tumor requiring treatment. But I am not at all sure that it required $50 grand at Johns Hopkins. It could have been pretty much free at a Seattle hospital.

[Which we have been saying for a LONG TIME here on the DUmmie FUnnies, Pitt. DUhhhhh!]

I thought someone said....that the surgery was scheduled for sometime next week. Is that in question now, too?

[Care to answer that question, Pitt?]

Who knows. This has been bouncing around like a ping pong ball. First it was $25k, then $50k, then the checks got lost, then Andy posts a thread about writing a 'hot check,' then he deletes his own thread, Skinner has not posted any clarifications, I don't even know what the surgery date is anymore, and now the whole diagnosis has changed.

[Beautiful summation of what we have been stating ALL ALONG in the DUmmie FUnnies, Pitt.]

But such surgery could easily be performed in Seattle...The $50,000 was needed to cover surgery at Johns Hopkins because the survival rate for pancreatic cancer was higher, not just surviving the surgery.

[DUhhhhh….mmie! Glad you finally woke up to REALITY.]

Next time, get the facts before you start a fund drive

[DUhhhhh…mmies!]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-16-05 ("Anyone have an update on Andy?")

Forget Reality TV. Reality SCANDAL is MUCH MORE interesting as we have learned with the unfolding scandal in real time of Andy Stephenson scamming the feeble-minded gullible DUmmies of at least $50,000. As we have learned there are elements of genius in Andy’s scam. For example, without actually saying he has cancer of the pancreas, he has allowed his cheerleading shills led by Pied Piper Pitt come out and flatly claim that Andy has pancreatic cancer. In fact, Andy has AT WORST pancreatis which means there was NO NEED for him to go to Johns Hopkins hospital for an UNNECESSARY Whipple procedure for pancreatic cancer since he does NOT have pancreatic cancer. Of course, once Andy is diagnosed, he will “miraculously” be declared to be cancer free. And the $50,000+ he scammed for the PANCREATIC CANCER operation? In Andy’s scheme, DUmmieland (and their leftwing cohorts) will be so OVERJOYED by his “miraculous” recovery that they will not stoop so low as to actually inquire as to, um, what happened to their funds. Yes, Andy’s scam scheme is almost flawless. I say “almost” because poor Andy made a few grievous errors. Most importantly he didn’t really take the DUmmie FUnnies into account. Here, with the aid of HUNDREDS of Freepers, this scandal is being followed VERY CLOSELY. It is publicity that Andy does not want. And with this UNWANTED publicity comes the attention of Johns Hopkins. Somehow I think they are NOT AMUSED at being called “bloodsuckers” by Andy. Also they are less than happy that some scam operation is taking place by invoking their good name. So the next time you go to Johns Hopkins, Andy, will you merely go through some medical tests there or will you find your wrists bound by a pair of handcuffs? And these aren’t the S&M bar type handcuffs, Andy. These are the type of handcuffs where the authorities expect you to do a frogwalk to the open door of a police car. So let us now look at the blissful gullibility of the DUmmies as they inquire in this THREAD titled, “Anyone have an update on Andy?” As usual the gullible DUmmie postings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering when Andy will beg his fellow DUmmies to PayPal him funds for the VERY BEST legal defense available, is in the [brackets]:

Anyone have an update on Andy?

[Still successfully bilking the incredibly gullible DUmmies, thank you.]

I assume he had his surgery but how is he doing?

[You assume WRONG. He NEVER had the surgery. Even though we are told by the likes of Pied Piper Pitt that Andy has pancreatic cancer, we are now expected to believe the Johns Hopkins docs have postponed his “emergency” surgery to May 26. Meanwhile Andy is enjoying his nights out on the town in Baltimore with whomever happens to be his Boy Toy of the week.]

I don't think he has had his surgery ..he said that they were going to schedule it within the next week or so (by the end of the month).
He has had fairly extensive testing done. I had heard that it was good news.

[Expect Andy to announce that he has been “miraculously” cured and has NO pancreatic cancer in the next few weeks. And that $50,000+ that you sent him for the Whipple procedure to be done at Johns Hopkins? Don’t be holding your breath for a refund. Andy will be spending it, as planned, on lots of R&R.]

He's back on the schedule to have the surgery on the 26th. I guess they told him that sometimes spots open up because the patient might not be able to be operated on for one reason or another, and if that happens they'll let him know. So there's a chance he could have the surgery sooner.

[Whether its sooner or later, there will be NO pancreatic cancer surgery for Andy for the simple reason (as he ALREADY knows) that he has NO cancer of the pancreas. Therefore no need for the Whipple procedure. And don’t expect your 50k+ back. If anything, Andy will be whining for EVEN MORE money.]

he's kinda tired but in much better spirits than earlier this week.....and still a little pissed that he didn't eat for 30 hours for nothing! he was making up for it last night, poor dear.

[The “poor dear” just happens to be the FATTEST pancreatic cancer patient in history. Take a look at any recent photo of Andy. Chubby and cherubic. Supposedly 3 months of having cancer eating away at his pancreas and Andy still maintains his jelly belly.]

I presume you've seen him then? Glad to hear that the prognosis may be better than he had originally thought

[Surpise! Surprise! And your surprise will be even greater when Andy announces that he doesn’t have pancreatic cancer.]

I'm going to ask the "pregnant question" here: What happened to the money? Does Andy have it? Does JH have it? Is it in an interest-bearing account somewhere waiting for the surgery to happen? Or what?

[We do know that Andy posted last Wednesday that he wrote a hot check to Johns Hopkins. Within minutes of that posting, Andy realized his error and self-deleted his own post. But TOO LATE. A VICIOUS RIGHTWING Freeper caught it in a screen save and we now have Andy’s self-deleted post on record.]

Scores of people wish Andy well....but, in light of all that's transpired, inquiring minds (and there's a LOT of them here on DU) want to know - and, frankly, we DESERVE to know.

[Hmm… Some healthy skepticism here… LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

oh please...If there was a problem, we'd hear.

[Not in DUmmieland. Not only will Skinner delete any posts about Andy problems he will also tombstone the culprit.]

Scandal??? you might want to put on your flame retardant suit. 5...4...3...2...1...

[Thank you for that warning, Andy. You know your DUmmies well. Blatantly scam them and then allow your marks to angrily flame the few over there who can see through your obvious con.]

If you're feeling uncertain about the fundraiser, by all means, ask any questions you wish.

[Why did Andy delete his own post last Wednesday about passing a hot check to Johns Hopkins?[

JH Has the money...The surgery is paid for...just awaiting my date with the knife. I might add if you had been here just a couple of days ago...all doubt was dispelled in regards to my condition.

[We saw those two cashiers checks for a total of $32,000 that you posted Andy. Trouble is that the issuing institution, Verity Credit Union claims that they have not cleared yet. Could the failure to deposit those checks either be that Johns Hopkins is too lazy to do so or….maybe you just didn’t give them the cashiers checks? Hmmm?]

Hi Andy honey....How are ya feeling?

[Like a million bucks…or at least like 50,000 bucks.]

Well right now I am sitting down in my friends house resting my weary body.

[While getting acupunctured in the south end.]

Glad to hear you're taking it easy, as you should. Rest up, pamper yourself. Read a good book, watch some good movies…

[…Take a Caribbean vacation with a $50,000 bankroll…]

Andy, do not aggravate yourself -- rest and gain your strength for arduous surgery.

[We already know the “arduous” surgery will NOT involve the Whipple procedure. The docs will NOT find any cancer. A lightbulb, perhaps, or a stray gerbil or two but definitely NOT cancer.]

pancreatic cancer can take various forms and varies from patient to patient.

[We already know that Andy’s pancreatic cancer is of the NONEXISTENT variety.]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Hasn't Slept Since April!)

It looks like William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt is doing a lot of worrying that the scam perpetrated by Andy Stephenson is going to explode in his face. Pity Poor Pathetic Pied Piper Pitt (had to get in at least one allitertation) for he hasn’t slept since April as you can see in this Pitt authored DUmmie THREAD titled, “I could use a little help here.” Yeah, Pitt, you could actually use a LOT of help WHEN the AndyScam blows up in such a way that even the incredibly gullible DUmmies realize that Andy Stephenson has been scamming them just as cold-bloodedly as his former mentor, Bev Harris. A constant theme right now in DUmmieland is that they just KNOW that Andy is on the up and up BECAUSE Pied Piper Pitt told them so. I hate to tell you this DUmmies but Pied Piper Pitt has ALSO been having doubts about the DUmmies as have been documented in the Free Republic discussion forum of the previous DUFU edition titled, “'About the Andy Stephenson situation'---Skinner." Oh, and speaking of Skinner, haven’t the DUmmies noticed that he has been MIA since issuing his doubts about Stephenson a few days ago? Skinner is less than an hour from Baltimore but he has yet to make the short trip over there to verify Andy’s fraudulent story. It is “The Silence of the Scams.” So let us now join Pied Piper Pitt in his state of complete sleeplessness. Somehow I think Pitt will be greeting the sun for many, many mornings to come. As usual the insomniac rantings of Pitt and his DUmmie followers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a refreshing night of deep sleep, is in the [brackets]:

I could use a little help here

[You sure do, Pied Piper Pitt, especially after the DUmmies form a lynch mob to go after you when even those dopes realize FOR SURE that they have been scammed by Andy Stephenson, thanks in large part to you vouching for Andy’s honesty.]

I haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. I start to drop off, and maybe actually sleep for about 20 minutes, before popping awake. Last night, for about the fifteenth day in a row, I saw the sun come up against my will. This has started to affect my stomach, which makes sleeping harder. I have tried exercise to wear myself out, and have managed to badly strain a muscle in my back.

[Your back will hurt even more after the DUmmies start angrily beating on it while cursing you for enabling the AndyScam.]

So, to recap: No sleep since April, rotten stomach, torn up back. I've reached that insomnia point where I am psyching myself out; I got no sleep the night before last, spent yesterday writing a PDA action alert and a 30-minute speech transcript, drove two hours to do the speech, gave the speech, did a three-hour Q&A, talked to people for another hour, drove two more hours to get home, and by the time I got back here I was literally quivering with exhaustion.

[So, to recap: You are worried sick about what will happen to you after Andy Stephenson is proven to be a complete FRAUD even to the satisfaction of the incredibly gullible DUmmie suckers.]

But I laid awake until 6:37am (I remember looking at the clock), popped awake an 8, 9, 10 before finally giving up and getting up at 11. I can barely see straight right now, my stomach feels like it has snakes in it, my back is killing me so I can't exercise...and I know for a stone fact that I won't be able to sleep again. Tried a nap an hour or so ago. Came thiiiiiiiis close to dropping of and then popped awake.

[3:11 AM: “Worried sick about the backlash when Andy’s scam is finally proven.”

3:12 AM: “Will they toss me out of Dummieland?”

3:13 AM: “Will my speaking engagements be cancelled?”

3:14 AM: “Maybe I could change my identity.”

3:15 AM: “DAMN YOU TO HELL, Andy, for suckering me into being your lousy cheerleader!!!”

3:16 AM: “Is it 3:17 AM yet?”]

Any ideas? I've already heard about taking mela-whatever, but that stuff gave my mother splitting headaches when she tried it. I have drastically cut back on caffiene. Any other suggestions would be appreciated. I've reached that violently, violently, violently frustrated stage of insomnia where sleep is a guaranteed impossibility, and if a routine like yesterday's (while on no sleep) can't get it done, I am at a total loss.

[Confession is good for the soul. And now let us read the hilarious advice on insomnia cures from your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]

scotch. start about 3pm. you'll be out by 9

[Thunderbird. Start about 3 PM. You’ll be homeless by 9.]

Tried it. I managed to make myself unconscious, but that isn't sleep. Woke up worse off the next day. Tried it again a few days later, and all that happened was I was drunk and wide awake.

[Pied Piper Pitt---The wide awake drunk. That’s what happens when you fall such obvious scams that Andy perpetrates.]

sex?

[Unfortunately Andy can no longer be located.]

Move the clock...for one thing. Looking at that thing with the blinking : all night can be horrifying.

[If Pitt moves his clock all it will mean is that he will have to keep walking over to it every 5 minutes to check to see if he got at least a half hour of sleep.]

yes, sex works remember, only in fundie land is a monogamous partner of the opposite gender who desires to become pregnant is a requirement for "sex."

[Only in DUmmieland does it not matter what gender or species your sex partner is.]

Will: see a doctor. Insomnia is a bitch, although I only get it maybe once or twice a month.

[Pitt needs to see a shrink doctor. See Pitt lying on the shrink’s couch? Let us see what the shrink is writing on his note pad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

This sounds like a case for sleeping pills though I ordinarily wouldn't recommend them.

[NOT a good idea. Pitt would be tempted to swallow the whole bottle after the AndyScam blows up in DUmmieland.]

Benadryl. But don't take it every night, as you can become addicted (as per my physician husband).

[Methinks Pitt would become addicted the first night after desperately popping pill after pill of those Benny’s.]

Eat lots of turkey! Turkey has natural sleep inducers in it.

[And if that doesn’t work, have someone take a frozen turkey and slam it on Pitt’s head to knock him out.]

My problem is that I have bad physical reactions to anti-histamine stuff. I had raging bad allergies as a kid, and was always loaded up on the stuff. After a few years it just messed me up, and still does whenever I touch it.

[I can sympathize, Pitt. I’m allergic to wool so I’ve had to cross sheep off my date list. Such are the sacrifices I’ve had to make.]

Tonight I will do turkey, warm milk and the tub

[You’re going to do turkey in a tub filled with warm milk, Pitt? You really ARE kinky!]

Yes - I like Tylenol PM myself.

[I once tried to commit suicide by taking a cyanide pill. Unfortunately some sick bastard tampered with the cyanide pill bottle and I took a Tylenol that he inserted instead. I’m suing!!!]

empty your mind, grasshopper...

[…be just like your fellow DUmmies, cricket…]

I don't really know any tricks to get to sleep but one thing I discovered is that it makes no sense to just lay there willing yourself to do it - the more you try, the less likely it is that it will happen. So when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up. I'd tidy the house, I'd do laundry, I'd go for a walk, I'd read, I'd write, I'd work. Eventually, I'd get very, very tired and I'd lay down again. If I didn't get to sleep within a reasonable time, I'd get up again.

[Good idea… Hey Pitt! My pad needs cleaning and after that you can do my laundry.]

stop doing crystal meth that's what I had to do.

[speed_addiction…is that you?]

The back thing is my own fault. I've been beating the shit out of myself on my weight bench, way overdoing it to try and get sleepy. A muscle in my shoulderblade area finally got tired of it and told me to f*ck myself.

[And after the AndyScam scandal explodes, Pitt, your fellow DUmmies will be telling you the same thing as your shoulderblade muscle told you.]

Definitely see a doctor...there might be a physiological reason you're having trouble sleeping.

[Pitt’s problem is ALL mental.]

Will, I'm not a doctor, but I am going to go ahead and give you medical advice anyway. Your body is telling you to take a break.

[Yes, good advice. Take a break, Pitt, on a Costa Rica getaway with Andy Stephenson. Don’t worry about expenses. Andy has $50,000 to blow.]

Otherwise, until you see an internist, a bit of turkey, milk and a warm bath. Then find something boring, yet educational, to read.

[Maybe not educational but Pitt’s own writings should do the trick.]

A friend of mine who went through a divorce said she would drop her jaw down as you would right before you fall asleep and then force herself to COUNT SHEEP. It actually worked for her.

[It won’t work for me. I told you before that I’m allergic to wool.]

One word solution... PAMPER!

[One word solution… PAMPERS!]

White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing).

[White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint Pitt speeches, and it’s coma-inducing).]

Breathe thru your eyes ... Bull Durham

[Breath thru your butt … Andy Stephenson.]

Watch some mindless TV.

[Keith Olbermann.]

Ambien is habit forming and every person is different. So telling someone to ignore legitimate and documented side effects and product warnings is not particularly sound advice, wouldn't you agree?

[WARNING: Side effects of Ambien may inlude nausea, diarrhea attacks, dizziness, urges to support left wing loony causes, and the total loss of any ability to discern obvious scams.]

dude...seriously...smoke up. If I need to be asleep, pot is my friend to a nice, happy, and deep sleep.

[“Puff the magic dragon down by the sea!”]

First of all, sleep is over-rated.

[Sleep? Who needs it!]

You need to start "shutting down" very gradually.

[After the DUmmies finally wake up to the AndyScam, they will be “shutting down” Pitt very rapidly.]

Try to figure out what caused this abnormal sleep cycle to begin in the first place and address that issue.

[I don’t believe that Pitt thinking about how he has become Andy Stephenson’s lead cheerleader in Dummieland is going to help him get any sleep.]

Go To An Acupuncturist ASAP.

[Perhaps the acupuncturist can anesthetize those brain cells containing all memories about Andy.]

want something natural? try acupuncture- & I know where to get it cheap in the south end

[I don’t know about Pitt but Andy certainly would love to be acupunctured in the south end.]

You really should go to a doctor for a sleep evaluation. This may include keeping a diary for a week or so…

[May 13: “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT will I do when the DUmmies rise up against me when the AndyScam breaks?

May 15: “Need to leave the country. PRONTO!”

May 16: “Quick flight down to Costa Rica.”

May 20: “Slight gender preference modification but the honeymoon with Andy is just dreamy!”]

Cancel your appointments. Don't listen to TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Rent some funny movies.

[Flim Flam Man. The Sting.]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-10-05 ("About the Andy Stephenson situation"---Skinner)

There are about 300 million people in America and out of that vast number the ONE person who just so happened to have been a partner in crime with the Bev Harris election fraud scandal pleads with DUmmieland to give him $25,000 for an operation at Johns Hopkins hospital. If you remember, Bev Harris conned the DUmmies out of at least $300,000 because of her claim that she was just “$10 away” from proving election fraud. I say at least $300,000 because that is all that Bev unofficially claimed even though by LAW she was supposed to officially let the public know how much she scammed due to filing as a non-profit corporation with the Feds. Soooo….. After being scammed by Bev bigtime guess who comes along and pleads for MORE money? None other than her partner in crime….Andy Stephenson. You would think that would raise alarm bells in DUmmieland but nooooooo, they unquestioningly handed over their money like the good suckers they are. Not only that, after Andy received the $25,000 (which wasn’t delivered to the Johns Hopkins "money lady" as promised) he comes back to the DUmmies and asks for ANOTHER $25,000. At that point I thought even the DUmmies would become somewhat skeptical but nooooooo, led by the cheerleading Pied Piper Pitt, they went over the cliff listening to his reassuring pipe tune and shelled out yet MORE money. So this morning Andy was scheduled to enter Johns Hopkins FOR SURE. Guess what? He didn’t. Perhaps you aren’t the least bit surprised by this OBVIOUS scam but in DUmmieland they are shellshocked. Can it be? Were we really scammed despite all the alarm bells ringing about this for months? So now we come to DUmmie Skinner, the absolute STUPIDEST forum administrator ever to explain that, um yes, there is the possibility that we feeble minded fools were scammed ONCE AGAIN. So now let us laugh at the comedy routine of Skinner’s lame excuses as well as the replies of the feeble-minded DUmmies which you can see in this THREAD titled, “About the Andy Stephenson situation.” As usual the GULLIBLE DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, continually falling out of his chair from the laughter, is in the [brackets]:

About the Andy Stephenson situation

[Yeah, tell us all about it DUmmie Skinner. I am ready for some great comedy.]

Many of you have been following the posts about Andy Stephenson's surgery for pancreatic cancer, and a large number of you have been generous enough to donate to the cause. I am touched by how big-hearted this community is when it comes to our attention that one of our own is in need. Earlier today someone claimed that the entire thing was a hoax to scam our members out of their money.

[Scamming DUmmies out of money? Isn’t that sort of like stealing candy from a baby? Actually it’s EASIER.]

Allow me to be clear: I have my own opinion about whether this is legit or a hoax, but it is only that: an opinion. I do not know the truth. It has long been the policy of Democratic Underground not to vouch for anyone who uses this website in order to raise money, and we have not done so in this case. It is our preference to let our members weigh the evidence, and decide for themselves if they feel comfortable donating or not.

[You don’t know the truth as to whether it was a hoax or not? So why did you allow DUmmieland to be a platform for a scam operation, Skinner? Oh, you thought it could be 50-50 so with those odds you took a chance that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t a scam even though Stephenson was a partner in crime with Bev Harris….the last person who EASILY scammed DUmmieland.]

Our policy of not verifying anyone should not be interpreted as a statement about the legitimacy of any claim, including this one. Put yourself in our position. If we say "we think this is legit" then we might help someone in need, but we are personally responsible if it turns out to be a hoax. But if we say "we don't think this is legit" then we might protect people from being scammed, but there is a chance that a person in need goes without help. So, we're kinda stuck.

[Attention all con artists! It’s open season in DUmmieland. Their dopey administrator will sit idly by sucking his thumb while you shill the suckers for buku bucks.]

The problem is made worse by the fact that we all know that the potential for abuse is huge. A group of people just raised a huge amount of money -- twice as much money in two weekends than DU itself raises during any of its week-long quarterly fund-drives. And they didn't even have to provide any proof whatsoever. (Again, let me repeat: This is not a statement on the legitimacy of Andy Stephenson's situation. I'm just trying to be honest about the issues involved.)

[You bet the potential for abuse is huge. Let’s see, Skinner. Two partners in crime run a money scam on Dummieland just a few months apart. Oh, my condolences about how you fail to even raise as much money as Andy. Maybe you should tell the DUmmies you are just $10 away” from having an ingrown toenail operation.]

Here's what we all know.

[Somewhere between nil and nothing.]

Some people have raised a large amount of money -- mostly from the members of Democratic Underground, but also from some other websites -- which they claim will be used to pay for surgery for Andy Stephenson at Johns Hopkins University Hospital. They say the surgery was supposed to be today, but it was postponed.

[Surprise! Surprise!]

Earlier today, a DU member by the name of MrNiceGuyDied posted a few messages claiming that he had been in contact with a Dr. Cameron at Johns Hopkins University Hospital, who told him that this was a hoax.

[A…a HOAX? Surely you jest.]

Then, a DU member by the name of qanda started a thread claiming the same thing. The thread by qanda did not mention the posts by MrNiceGuyDied. In the thread, qanda gave the impression that qanda had called Dr. Cameron and was told that this was a hoax.

[There’s a whole lot of hoaxin’ goin’ on!]

All hell broke loose. The moderators and I had to step in and lock all the threads.

[Batten down the hatches! Lock all the threads! The Good Ship DUmmieland is sinking!]

qanda posted an apology in my thread which said this: "I apologize for starting the thread questioning the story about Andy. I am way too cynical, and should not have been so quick to believe someone who had no clue." So, qanda seems to be saying that their thread was based on the post by MrNiceGuyDied, but that is not clear.

[A lot isn’t clear to you, DUmmie Skinner, but continue…]

Here's what you don't know.

[Everything.]

MrNiceGuyDied is a troll. He was formerly banned from DU under half a dozen other usernames, all of which were heavily involved in stirring up trouble on the BBV issue. There is absolutely no reason to take any of his posts seriously.

[Stirred up trouble over the BBV issue? Don’t tell me that he accused the (GASP!) beloved Bev Harris of being a con artist?]

qanda sent me a private message apologizing for the thread. After I sent her a rude response (I'm sorry, I was very angry), qanda said that they did in fact call Dr. Cameron. So that is the context of the thread.

[So qanda DID call Dr. Cameron and it WAS a hoax. What’s with this context shtick?]

Other people have sent me private messages vouching for Andy.

[“Andy is just $10 away from having surgery.”]

I did not want to share this piece of information, but in light of recent events, I think that DU members need to know that the administrators actually do care about what get posted here. Even though we don't vouch for people, we have been very concerned about the possibility for abuse.

[I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.]

When the goal for the fund drive suddenly changed from $25,000 to $50,000, we started to get concerned. Last week I called Johns Hopkins Hospital to try to verify that Andy Stephenson is actually getting surgery. Every person I talked to gave me the same answer: Federal privacy laws forbid them from disclosing the names of patients. I want to be clear: My actions are not a reflection on Andy or any other members of this website. I was hoping to quietly verify Andy's story myself, and nobody would be the wiser.

[I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain.]

Yesterday, as part of my search, I was directed to an individual at Johns Hopkins with the job title of "patient representative". We have been playing phone tag since then, so we haven't talked yet. Given the previous responses, I am pretty doubtful that she can help us out.

[You need to talk to the “money lady.”]

Given that this has become an issue, I think we all need to do what we can to put all the concerns to rest.

[A rubber mallet applied to the head should do the trick.]

I think that Andy Stephenson obviously wants to set the record straight and clear his name. And I would like to put the concerns of the DU membership to rest. Here's what I propose.

[Marriage?]

Andy Stephenson and I need to talk this out on the telephone. He needs to somehow release Johns Hopkins Hospital from their privacy restrictions so they can talk to me directly and verify that the surgery is taking place, and verify that it does cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $50,000.

[Andy Stephenson is just “$10 away” from signing that release.]

Then, we will report back to you, and all these concerns will be put to rest. I will send Andy Stephenson a private message with our office phone number.

[Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting Andy Stephenson and his amazing Disappearing Act!]

Thank you, everyone, for your understanding as we work our way through this.

[And thank you, DUmmie Skinner, for the laughs. And now let us see what your brainwave challenged fellow DUmmies have to say…]

Thank you Skinner. You are great at what you do!

[Sitting idly by sucking his thumb while his forum DUmmies gets scammed AGAIN right under his nose.]

This is not funny at all.

[I beg to disagree. I find all this to be a LAUGH RIOT!]

And I am sure Andy will do anything to clear his name in which idiots from the outside has wrecked.

[Andy Stephenson is just $10 away from clearing his name.]

You must cringe when you log on first thing every morning, not knowing what fresh hell you're going to uncover.

[Or what DUmmie FUnnies edition goes online.]

What a nightmare for the admins. I am way too trusting on this kind of fundraising. But we don't have to look too far back in time to see examples of scams taking place.

[Merely look back a few months to see Andy’s partner in crime, pulling off another scam on DUmmieland.]

Flame me if you must, but there were simply far too many red flags for me to be at all comfortable with it. I'm not sure I believe any of it anymore, and I think a few people have taken advantage of the tremendous generosity and caring of DUers. Sometimes I think we libs can be a bit too naive and trusting than is good for us in many situations.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Are you saying you think this is a scam?

[Somehow I can just barely perceive a very very faint glow in the lightbulb filament hovering over your tiny head.]

Now, let's start sending our positive energy to Andy, again. He needs it.

[Even better. Start sending your money to Andy again. He needs it.]

Thanks, Skinner. You seem to be handling this appropriatel

[…AFTER sitting idly by and allowing his fellow DUmmies to toss $50,000 away on an obvious AndyScam.]

To have this come up is unbearable. I think that many of us got this nasty feeling in the pits of our stomachs earlier - not because we doubt Andy but because we know the hornets' nest that we have suddenly walked in to.

[Or maybe because the DUmmie FUnnies has been warning you about this for weeks on an almost daily basis.]

It should be no problem for Andy to give you a short, written medical authorization that will permit Johns Hopkins to verify some facts for you.

[Andy should be sending in that authorization any day now…from Costa Rica.]

I feel so sick about all of this. I can't imagine how Andy feels. I can't imagine how Skinner and the Admins feel, either, having to deal with this.

[Andy Stephenson is just $10 away from telling you how he feels.]

No one -- no one -- is excused from the obligation to account for money that they have collected for a good cause no matter how good the cause. There can be no expectation of privacy where the patient has himself put his own personal information, including hospital and diagnosis, on several websites for purpose of collecting funds.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I remember Will Pitt being angry because someone was questioning the idea of donating.

[Pied Piper Pitt hates healthy skepticism in all its forms.]

we have to have solidarity!

[Attention DUmmie lemmings! Jump off the cliff TOGETHER!]

i quit and I hope you guys can get yourselves together enough to issue a public apology to andy...

[We’re sorry, Andy, that we are so feeble minded that we allowed you to scam us!]

I can no longer be a part of DU as much as it pains me. I write this with tears people. I love this place, but I can no longer be part of this community unless a public apology is issued to Andy.

[FORGIVE US, Andy! Here’s another 50 grand.]

Feel free to ask Andy for his medical records. He did say he is willing to provide them to Skinner... will that be enough? Or will you need to actually examine them for yourself?

[Andy WILL be sending in his medical records…right after John Kerry signs his Form 180.]

Bev is out of the elections fraud business. She spent the money, no one knows where it went or what happened to it.

[5 star hotel suites and room service massages.]

Well, I have and I nearly blew lunch when I read the subject line of the email. I kid you not, it said " BEV HARRIS, "THE ERIN BROCKOVICH OF ELECTIONS," IS COMING TO BOSTON!" She's charging $10 a head to hear her speak. The rest of the text of the email was very unsetteling too.

[Bev Harris is just $10 away from speaking about election fraud.]

She apparently blew the $$$. So? I gave $$ to AS anyway.

[DUmb DUmb DUmmie!]

I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH ANDY. On the Scale of Shit He Has to Deal With, this has got to rate up there with aliens from Mars and the potential eruption of Yellowstone. But he understands that an accusation has been made, and that Skinner is in a rotten position because of it.

Skinner: Andy is in the car with Ted, and is about 40 minutes away from a computer, so he can't get to your PM with your number for the next little bit. I have PMed you his cell number. If you can, please call him so the two of you can talk personally and get this squared away. He will give you what you need to clear this up, and thanks again for handling this so well.

[So chimed Pied Piper Pitt. Andy Stephenson is just 40 minutes away from a computer and $10 away from making a phone call to clear this all up.]

If Will Pitt says it's legit, it's legit.

[It sure is. This is just as legit as Kerry overturning the election by having his lawyer file an obscure legal answer in an equally obscure Ohio court. Hey, Pied Piper Pitt told us that was legit too.]

It is right and proper to ask for proof. A person can be a wonderful person to go out drinking and talking and kicking up dust with -- and still be a scammer. My friend was very charming and lots of fun. That didn't make her honest.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I trust Andy and I trust Will Pitt who ain't stupid and proves to be a good friend to Andy.

[There’s one of you guys born every minute.]

While I felt betrayed by Bev, I never thought twice about giving to Andy. It didn't occur to me to doubt, though I do not know him personally. Nothing has changed here.

[You are correct. Nothing has changed there. After being suckered by Bev you were also suckered just as easily by Andy. Nothing has changed.]

Skinner, I IMPLORE you to please start another thread...please!

[Please Skinner! PLEASE allow us to be scammed again!!!]

Skinner, any updates? I'm not in the questioning mode, but I'd like to know if Andy's making progress in getting the surgery scheduled. Can you fill us in?

[Calling Skinner! Calling Andy! I know it was 1:50 PM when Pied Piper Pitt said that Andy was only 40 minutes away from a computer and we haven’t heard from him yet even though it is already 7:12 PM when I made this post. Of course, I’m not in a questioning mode. Heh. Heh. But WHERE is Andy???]

How long do we have to wait for an answer? How long can it take to verify this?

[You are just $10 away from getting an answer.]

It seems it's a simple process for him to authorize a doctor or someone else at JH to talk to Skinner.

[Andy is just $10 away from authorizing a doctor to talk to Skinner.]

I had my doubts at the beginning, but the evidence has since piled in and I felt confident enough to send Andy some cash.

[Keep it coming! Andy Stephenson is just $10 away from catching a flight to Costa Rica.]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-10-05 ("Karl Rove has failed the Republican Party")

If there is one person who is considered a Boogyman by the denizens of the nether regions of Dummieland, it is none other than Karl Rove. Until now they have assigned Rove mystical powers of political manipulation and intrigue. In moments of honesty, they even wish they had such a political genius on their side. Therefore, I found it strange to see this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Karl Rove has failed the Republican Party.” Uh, yeah sure. And we could use a few more of such Karl Rove “failures.” Therefore let us view this new amusing DUmmie proposition blared out in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wishing that I had a Karl Rove on my team to propose my DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories) deal to Mary Matalin, is in the [brackets]:

Karl Rove has failed the Republican Party.

[Delusional statement of the year but continue with the laughs, DUmmie writer…]

Here's a man who relies on the quick fix for a quick victory, yet fails to plan long-term. Actually, the way he maneuvers elections resembles someone who cares very little for the RNC and more for his personal scoreboard. He's like shopping at Target: a shiny vase for your mantle that looks nice for a few months, yet cracks not too soon later. He barks loudly, but this dog has been castrated. Weak. Only a few bites to his record. His personal attacks speak of his shallow ego.

[Only a few “bites” like electoral victories in 2000, 2003, and 2004. But continue with your standup routine, DUmmie writer…]


This man is merely a political misfit. Callow. Yellow. He barely won two national elections. At this point he is no threat to anyone but himself. Let the fool fall on his own sword.

[2004 election was not a barely won election but I bet you DUmmies are desperate for ANY kind of win such as the stolen gubernatorial win in Washington state. Anyway, if Karl Rove is no threat to you guys, I guess you can just relax and rest upon your electoral laurels…uh, I mean weeds.]

that's 2 more than us...he is still a threat

[And DUmmie Harpo wins a Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

The guy barely won. His wins were more happenstance than victories. There was no real "electioneering" here. Just gay sex and the ghost of 9/11. The man can't win fairly because the man doesn't have the right picnic equipment to do so. His mind is as emasculate as the rest of him. We will win in 2006, because just as Bush is fading, Karl is fading. His days will soon be over.

[Thanx, DUmmie writer for your excellent attempt at lulling the DUmmies into a state of false confidence. We will remember you when Road Runner Rove once again goes “BEEP! BEEP!” while leaving the DUmmie Coyote in the dust.]

I would disagree again...you only have to barely win, the edge is who...has a great closing game as in chess. Some people are great openers, some are great middle game people, and some are great closers! I think Rove has 2 of the 3 mastered at this point.

[And Rove is great at doing a #3.]

No. It means that Karl Rove has dumped the pieces off the chessboard because he can't win fairly. He never has won fairly. He doesn't know how to win fairly. He is weak, and quite frankly, I'm not all that impressed with his tiny little "victories." They have no longevity beyond 2004. The man is a gelding.

[Keep pushing that theme DUmmie writer. It is all part of Karl Rove’s Master Plan.]

that dog still has balls and he's going to be using them well into 2008. Rove is one of the best and most dangerous political minds of this generation. he's not someone to be taken lightly

[No. No. Listen to DUmmie writer. You have nothing to worry about from Karl Rove. The next election will be so easy for you that you can sleepwalk to victory.]

The dog only bites balls because he doesn't have the brains to win fairly. Before Bush, what were Karl's successes? None. This weak politician barely won two elections for Bush. He's nothing. In 10 years, he will be a nobody. And that's how we should view him.

[“Has-Been” Rove is so ineffective that he is only picking your next nominee in ‘08---Hillary.]

He barely won two national elections......stole both

[ALL your Diebolds belong to Rove!]

They weren't exactly overwhelming victories, were they? Bush slipped from 80% approval ratings to just below 50% before his so-called "reelection." That's Karl's handiwork. Had he played his cards straight, Bush would have maintained better standings and a more assured victory. His near wins are signs of weak strategy. Karl spends his time chasing his own tail. Don't believe the hype.

[Okay DUmmie writer. I just have to ask this: Are you a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL???]

Underestimating Rove is Like Underestimating Ghengis Khan. Rove is tough, he practices politics like the USC Trojans run their ground game -- tough, fast, strong, and right into the opposition's teeth. Rove's strategy of running right at the opposing candidate's strength is "smash mouth" -- ideal for college football metaphors. It takes nerve, toughness, balls and time in the weight room. The old college football saw: "Passing teams compete for bowl games. Running teams compete for the National Championship." Rove's got two National Championships now. He'll be back with a new team next time, and he ain't changing his playbook.

[Correction: Underestimating Rove is like underestimating Chimpus Khan.]

Rove's Championships are built on a house of cards. 9/11 and gay sex. And neither championship was decisive. He is a weak political player who is fading into obscurity along with Bush. This castrated dog is all bark.

[Listen to DUmmie writer. Remember, you folks have Mary Beth Cahill on your team. You can’t go wrong with her. Oh, and don’t forget about Bob Shrum. The guy is UNBEATABLE!]

Karl Rove's electioneering has no longevity. He's fading away faster than Bush can say "Karlyouhavenoballs." A couple of near wins based on 9/11 and gay sex is weak, ephemeral strategy.

[Great lullaby tune there DUmmie writer:
Go to sleep.
Go to sleep, little DUmmies.
Have no fears.
Baddie Karl is not near.]

By the way, occasionally we see a gifted roll-out passer from the Southeast Conference, like Jim Carville. Where is he now, when we need him most?

[Hopefully Carville is whispering into his wife’s ear that the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories) would be a HUGE bestseller.]

Karl Rove is not successful. Karl Rove wouldn't be successful without 9/11. And even with that event, he barely won reelection for Bush. That's sad and pathetic.

[I bet Kerry wishes to hell that he barely won.]

Bill Clinton never could have won in 2004. Never. But... he just might win again in 2008.

[They can add a new constitutional amendment in that brief time?]

You Mean Hillary? I love her too, but I don't think she'll ever be president.

[Which Karl Rove well knows which is why he will be making Hillary your ’08 nominee.]

Might be Hillary, might be someone else...But only these dark times have permitted Karl any sense of "victory." Otherwise, he's meaningless. WE WILL WIN AGAIN!

[No “might” about it. Your nominee, chosen by Karl Rove, WILL be Hillary which is why YOU WON’T WIN AGAIN!]

The man he works for has had two of the most ideologically successful presidencies since Kennedy, or even FDR. To use a corporate simile, he has successfully marketed the Republican brand, including spokesman George W. Bush, to the American people, et al.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Eventually, we know both Rove and the RW will overplay their hands. But what a DISGUSTING FASCIST DARK ERA until the pendulum swings back!

[There is NO escape from the Perfect Rovian Storm!]

He is enemy #1. He is the one who plans on being around for the next 20 years. If he can convince us to ignore him..then 'his guy' can get election (by a squeak) again. They will just replace George with jeb or with McCain or Arnold. Bush is a lame duck. Rove is not. We should keep Rove front and centre. Rove is dangerous. He got a shallow, prissy, dyslexic, businessly incapable of success, asshole elected president once. And he got this same lame-ass the presidency the first time by judicial activism. If he did it once, he can do it again. He is the master - architect. Remember how everyone had to bow down to him after the last election?

[BOW before the might of our Dark Lord Rove!]

Don’t underestimate the Drunken Monkey. Bush is the drunken monkey, and Rove’s guidance over the years is largely responsible for that. You laugh at his stumbling swipes until he starts to strike you and break your bones. The biggest mistake one can make is underestimating this political machine. Appearance aside they are smarter than you are, more dedicated, more resourceful and better connected. They have every advantage. And you forget that Rove’s history is much longer than the last two elections. Politics is not a vacuum, and Texas politics is a real contact sport. Do you think for a moment if Rove was such a lightweight he would have been able to get Bush the governorship from the popular Ann Richards? Even considering the last two elections, you are leaving out some of Rove’s sharpest skills. Think about the brutal primary fight with John McCain. Or the Swift boat attack ads of the previous election. Rove goes after an opponent’s strength, not weakness. This is disorienting even to skilled politicians (it totally immobilized the Kerry campaign for a time) and he makes his opponents afraid to differentiate themselves or bring party stars forward. It actually stunts the growth of democratic opposition. This is why, with rare exceptions, Democrats seem shrunken in stature to Republicans in the passion of their stance on issues or ideology in many elections. The point you are missing is that sometimes, simple and brutal works fine. He’s capable of more, of course, as his political career has shown over the years, but he’s got no problem with using the right tool for the job even if it’s a club with a nail in it. Sizing up the current political landscape, it seems he was right.

[The Drunken Monkey and our Dark Lord Rove thank you for that moving tribute. Don’t forget to stand in awe of the Mighty Rove’s powers in ’08 when he chooses YOUR nominee---Hillary.]

Rove is pathetic, in my opinion. Either we decide that he's a genius and weaken at the knees at his alleged "gift," or we see him for what he is - a small man on stilts.

[Believe in the latter…at your own risk.]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-09-05 ("I am NOT a Bush Hater!")

One of the deepest held of all DUmmie precepts is ABSOLUTE HATE of Bush. I don’t mean just ordinary hate. I mean flat out blind rage, boiling bile, insane HATE. Therefore when some DUmmie posts this THREAD titled, “I am NOT a Bush Hater!” it stirs my curiosity. Of course it turns out, as we shall see, that DUmmie demgurl actually is consumed by total hatred of Bush but she doesn’t want to admit it. As usual the rage filled posts by the hate-mongering DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, holding a tranquilizer dart gun at the ready, is in the [brackets]:

I am NOT a Bush Hater!

[Oh yes you are, DUmmie demgurl. Your OWN words give lie to your silly allegation as we shall see.]

I just saw this phrase on a web site and it just really struck me wrong. I do NOT hate *, he is not worth hate. I just really love my country.

[Keep talking, DUmmie demgurl. You will soon be entering Bush Hatred territory.]

OK, I do not like him. I do not like him a LOT!!!! But 'they' think we hate * just because they actually did hate Clinton. They did not like our country to thrive and blossom.

[That’s more like it, DUmmie demgurl. Now let’s really let ‘er rip!]

I think * is an idiot and destroys everything he touches but it is hard to hate someone that has the intelligence of an onion. (sorry to all you onion lovers out here) I don't hate him, I just want to be rid of him.

[There. Don’t you feel better now letting all that bottled up hatred out, DUmmie demgurl? Of course, you don’t call it hate even though that is exactly what it is. Now let us hear from your fellow DUmmies who are more upfront in admitting their flat out hatred of Bush.]

I THOUGHT I hated Nixon - but this cretin makes Tricky Dick look good. I never "hated" Reagan - just his policies. It takes a lot for me to hate anyone - but Bush has done it - and I hate to hate - just another reason to hate him for making me fell this way.

[Haters, who hate Haters,
Are the Angriest people in the World.]

I hate him too...I also abhor him, abominate him, anathematize him, be loath him, can't stand him, contemn him, curse him, deprecate him, deride him, despise him, detest him, disapprove of him, disdain him, disfavor him, dislike him, disparage him, loathe him, am nauseated by him, object to him, recoil from him, scorn him, shudder at him and shun him.

[Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.]

I totally HATE the bastard for what he and his cronies have done to our country!!!!!! I have NEVER hated a pResident of the WH in my life - until now!! Can't stand to look at him, can't stand to hear his voice - can't stand to see him walk, can't stand to see him "pretend" like he's clearing brush on "the fake ranch", can't stand his fake Texas accent - can't stand looking at his wife and all that lipstick she wears that is always all over her teeth - can't stand looking at the rich little spoiled twin wh***'s - I HATE the all the evil bastards!!

[In Room 101 you will be condemned to spend a lifetime of doing nothing but stare at videos of Bush.]

i LOATHE him his voice creeps me out. his face frightens me. his walk makes me wanna puke.

[Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.]

I detested Nixon, thought it couldn't get worse. It did. Reagan was an amiable dunce, pitied him more than anything. But *, is there a stronger word than hate?

[Insanity.]

I LOATHE and DESPISE the Propagandist. If he came up to me in a bar to shake my hand I'd spit on it.

[Won’t happen. Bush doesn’t go to S&M bars.]

George W. Bush is a puppet. The neoCONs & corporacrats are evil!!! I love my country, my people and all those who are being picked apart by these vultures. I hate what the neoCONs & corporacrats are doing to humanity. They are heartless, immoral, greed-driven, power-brokering predators who don't give a damn about all the people they are hurting, oppressing, destroying. Those heartless bastards deserve a life wearing an orange suit in a 6 X 6 barred cell.

[You’re willing to share your living quarters?]

I'm completely off my rocker with hatred for this motherf*cker!! It consumes me!! It's completely unlike anything I've ever felt!!

[I agree. You ARE completely off your rocker.]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-09-05 ("John Edwards on Mary Beth Cahill")

I have NO IDEA why John Edwards is running for President again. Like his running mate, John Kerry, he has absolutely no chance of winning the nomination. Karl Rove has already determined that the nomination will go to Hillary and none can defy the will of the mighty Rove. However, at least Edwards does provide us with much comic relief. I mean, is there anything FUNNIER than the video clip of Edwards fussing with his hair for minutes on end and then cracking us all up with his punchline of pulling out a beauty compact and staring intently into the mirror? So again, Edwards provides us with a laugh as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “John Edwards on Mary Beth Cahill.” A more accurate title would be “John Edwards disses Mary Beth Cahill.” Of course, Edwards later claimed he was joking but you know that phrase, “En Vino Veritas?” Well, you can also paraphrase that to “En Jokes Veritas.” Yeah, Edwards it was just a joke…but also accurate. The DUmmie reaction to Edwards’ “joke” is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who feels deprived for not ever owning a beauty compact, is in the [brackets]:

John Edwards on Mary Beth Cahill

[I would rather not have that visual image in my mind.]


May 16 issue - It's traditional for out-of-work politicos to head to Harvard's Institute of Politics for genial wonk talk. It's also traditional for failed veep candidates to put major distance between themselves and their old campaign. The two customs intersected when John Edwards stopped by Cambridge last month. Over lunch, Edwards held a Q&A session with students, faculty and political bigwigs, including Kerry-Edwards campaign manager Mary Beth Cahill, a visiting fellow at the institute. Edwards was asked for one lesson he'd learned from the 2004 campaign. His answer: "Don't listen to Mary Beth Cahill." The response in the room was stunned silence, observers later recalled. "No one laughed when he said it, and Mary Beth grew bright red," said one attendee. "It was very awkward."

[Also VERY FUNNY! Is there videotape of this? It would be placed in my John Edwards comedy hits collection along with his famous hair mussing video.]

Edwards "has a great deal of respect for Mary Beth Cahill," says spokeswoman Kim Rubey, who says her boss made clear "he was teasing like he would an old friend."

[Sure. Sure.]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7775251/site/newsweek

I don't know what to think about this. I think it's a good lesson - an even better one would be "don't listen to Bob Shrum" - but it does seem a little harsh to say it to her face.

[Ah, Bob Shrum. The living BAD LUCK charm for the Democrats. Any presidential campaign that has Bob Shrum involved in it is DOOMED to failure. Bob Shrum reminds me of a character in the movie A Bronx Tail. Remember when Sonny and his pals were at the racetrack and they all bet on a horse they were SURE would win? Well, after the race began, the horse they bet on was way in the lead by several lengths. Suddenly a Bob Shrum bad luck type (can’t remember the character’s name) came running near them rooting for the SAME horse. At that moment Sonny and his pals tore up their tickets before the race was even over because they knew the guy jinxed their choice…..which is exactly what happened.]

The truth hurts.

[The truth hurts---John Kerry was NOT inaugurated on Jan. 20.]

that's what I'm sayin...don't listen to her!!!!!

[Too late now. We had Karl Rove and you guys had Mary Beth Cahill. Talk about being overmatched!]

Tact is not a quality given to everybody.

[True but tactlessness makes for great comedy.]

He was kidding... there is such a thing called a sense of humor...Mary Beth Cahill should have the sense of humor to laugh at the obvious tease. All winning campaigns and their leaders have a sense of humor about politics and themselves... which includes people like James Carville and some Bush people... however, Cahill seems too uptight... I haven't seen her crack a joke at some of the weaknesses of her own campaign and just accept it.

[Funny but NO ONE laughed at Edwards’ “joke.”]

I believe that 2004 was seriously rigged, I remember how the right wing mocked those who protested the elections in the Ukraine, and now they have their candidate in office, and all along we have been told to be nice and what has been the result, Iraq out of control, an unstable economy, thousands of competently trained people losing their jobs and unable to find work, soaring gas prices, the hatred of the world, George is violently protested wherever he goes, our social security pension gutted, our national parks and refuges threatened, scandal of billions of dollars unaccounted for or misused.

[Congrats DUmmie Miss Waverly! Your post will be entered into the overlong sentence contest.]

So Edwards was lying when he said it was a joke or is he still preserving his image of Mr Nice.

[Or maybe he is still preserving his image of Bitchy Breck Girl.]

it was a "barb" joke with truth in it

[Absolutely. Maybe Edwards was thinking about Cahill advising Kerry not to respond to the Swift Boat Veteran’s ads. She probably told Kerry not to worry since they just need to allow those Swift Boat Vets to go out on the limb and then they would cut them off by simply having Kerry sign his Form 180 to release his military records that would prove that he was on a Swift Boat in Cambodia on Christmas 1968 as was seared, SEARED into his memory.]

It's just that I like many here really sacrificed to send money to the DNC for the Kerry campaign, I ate hot dogs for months for lunch,
to keep up a steady stream of donations, then to see them go down with a whisper and to see people here and on other activist sites pour money into the recount, work hour after hour on statistical analysis, letters, protests, visits with elected representatives, hearings, local boe events; it's heartbreaking.

[If only you had eaten cheese crackers instead of hot dogs for months for lunch, Kerry would have won.]

Folks, John Edwards made a faux pas. Forgive him. We all say stupid things, just because we aren't thinking straight for a split-second and we say something that we immediately wish we could take back. I don't think this is reflective of Edwards, or his thoughts about Mary Beth. He just stepped over the line, and took the teasing a bit too far. Nothing more.

[Please forgive John Edwards for being a stupid idiot!]

One problem with "teasing like he would an old friend." They're not old friends.

[BINGO! And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie doll for having a very brief moment of mental clarity!]

I mean, it is just a fact that John Edwards and Mary Beth Cahill are not old friends, and whether he wants to call her his friend or not won't change that.

[I heard they once sat next to each other at the beauty parlor.]

I dunno, but it's creepy .....All I know is that Edwards is well liked by all "parties", crossover, if you know what I mean......

[A “crossover” who is liked by “parties.” Wink! Wink! I think I know what you mean. Wink!]

Dems need new talent in DC. The gene pool has been drained.

[Gene pool draining service has been performed on the Democrats by…Democrats.]

That may be the best thing I've ever heard Edwards say. Nobody laughed because everybody knew it was the truth. I don't know about you guys, but I'll remember August 2004 for a long time to come. It's too bad Kerry didn't listen more to his instincts and ignore some of these apparent idiots that were "advising" him.

[Don’t worry. Kerry is following his instincts now. He is going to sign his form 180 in order to prove those Swift Boat Veterans to be a bunch of liars. Yup! Kerry is going to sign Form 180 RIGHT AWAY…as soon as he gets around to it.]

Good for him. I'm tired of these incompetent operatives and at least he has the guts to say it.

[Mary Beth Cahill---Incompetent.
Bob Shrum---Incompetent Jinx.]

Considering the Swift Boat response, it might be good advice. Kerry wanted to fight back; Cahill didn't.

[“Oh please, Mary Beth! Let me sign my Form 180 to prove those Swift Boat Veterans are a bunch of liars!”]

Cahill and Shrum can both go to hell. Let Shrum have fun in Tuscany (that's where he went after the election) and Cahill actually step back and complemplate the miserable job she did in the election. Shrum shares blame for what - 5 (or more) failed campaigns? God, he gets paid millions for this?

[“You say Shrum jinxes EVERY presidential election he is involved in? Okay, lets pay him 2, no make it 3, million dollars to get involved in my campaign.”]

I agree with another poster, that this loss would have been greater if Carville and a few others hadn't got in. For all his faults (and I don't completely trust anyone married to Scary Matalin either), his political instincts aren't all that bad.

[I protest you taking the name of my future publisher in vain! Never EVER cast aspersions upon the blessed name of Mary Matalin! And is that her face I am seeing on my grilled cheese sandwich?]

So which face is there to be sensitive to?

[The Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich--Hillary.]

Sounds like positioning. Distance himself from the 2004 campaign ASAP -- THEY screwed it up, not me.

[“It’s not my fault I’m a loser!”]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-06-05 ("TomPaine.com: What didn't happen in Ohio")

DUmmieland is in an uproar because the Leftwing TomPaine.Com website published an article claiming that there was NO vote fraud conspiracy in Ohio. This is heresy in the eyes of the DUmmies because one of their most treasured beliefs is that the EVIL Republicans STOLE the election by rigging the votes in Ohio. One side effect of this belief is that it made Bev Harris a very rich woman since she scammed the DUmmies for at least $300,000 by making them think she was only $10 away from proving vote fraud in Ohio. There are actually two DUmmie threads expressing their OUTRAGE over the TomPaine.Com article. The first THREAD is titled, "’What Didn't Happen in Ohio’ This article DEMANDS a response!” and the second THREAD is simply titled, “TomPaine.com: What didn't happen in Ohio.” Both these threads have the typical lunatic DUmmie responses so both will be DUFUed. As usual, the rantings of the DUmmies unable to let go of their sacred Ohio vote fraud beliefs are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with $10 in his pocket that he did NOT send to Bev Harris, is in the [brackets]:

“For casting doubt on the conspiracy theory, TomPaine.com and I received virtual barrels of e-mail, most from angry anti-Bush activists who could not believe that their hard work had been for naught. I also heard from Steven Freeman, a University of Pennsylvania professor and author of a widely cited study that served as the primary basis for the pro-theft-theory folks, The Unexplained Exit Poll Discrepancy . His remarks, and my response to them, appeared on TomPaine.com.”

[For casting doubt on the Ohio vote fraud conspiracy, I brand you a HERETIC!!! Let the Auto Da Fe begin!]

“Privately, I heard from many Democratic officials, election reform advocates and analysts from inside Ohio and elsewhere, who believed my reporting to be accurate, and who were more than a little perturbed by the frenzy, which they found a counterproductive distraction from the serious ongoing effort to reform election practices. Since the debate refuses to die, this seems a good time to trumpet the arrival of not just one, but two, new technical analyses that cast further doubt upon the conspiracy theories out there. The author of the first is an earnest young fellow in San Diego named Rick Brady.”

[Privately I’ve heard that the only loons left believing in the Ohio vote fraud conspiracy are the DUmmies and Teh-RAY-suh Heinz.]

”So, absent the emergence of true polling methodology experts screaming theft, we may reasonably conclude that no evil genius rigged the results. Instead, what we experienced was probably an amalgam of system failings, miscalculations, incompetence, and, in some cases, the variably successful exertions of biased election officials. These are, at worst, symptoms of gaming the system, a deplorable practice hardly limited to this election or, historically, to one party. The anomalies being cited, including by Christopher Hitchens—apparently without any notable independent verification—in a widely cited Vanity Fair piece, may prove to be invalid, or attributable as well to other factors. Perhaps fraud occurred on an isolated basis, but no one has come forward with careful documentation—as opposed to hysterical—unscientific allegation.”

[No! No! Don’t wanna hear this! Don’t you know that Karl Rove was the EVIL genius that rigged the election?]

“Until the public becomes confident in the underlying integrity of the electoral apparatus in this country, none of the urgently needed improvements to that system can take place. That’s why the conspiracy-mongering must cease. Can we instead please turn now to the many substantive proposals already being proffered to make things better—including pending legislation? Let’s keep our eye on the real ball that’s in our court.”

[Hey! Don’t tell me when I have to cease my mongering! Now that we have seen portions of this article, let us now take a look at the DUmmie outraged reaction to it.]

Bullshit! I saw it with my own eyes. I heard it w/ my own ears. I live in Columbus, Ohio too.

[And I saw space aliens land on Washington Mall with my own eyes. I heard it w/ my own ears. I live in the state of Insanity.]

Congratulations! More self-defeating bullshit, naysaying. Wunderbar!

[When even the far left TomPaine website thinks that the DUmmies are a bunch of moonbats, you know they are really far gone.]

Two very close elections. Two Republican Secs of State. Both Republican Secs of State doing double duty as Bush's state campaign chairs. Diebold machines manufactured and in use in key counties in both states. Big GOP donors running Diebold. Not least, a strong racist undertone re voter-access -- longer lines in heavy black precincts, etc. In sum, that is the infrastructure of cheating. Bush-Cheney cheated. Kerry-Edwards won.

[You certainly do present a convincing case…. that your oxygen supply was turned off at a young age.]

WE ARE NOT GOING TO STOP UNTIL JUSTICE IS DONE!

[THE COMEDY WILL NEVER END!]

I just emailed Russ Baker begging him to tell me this is satire.

[So sorry. It’s the bitter truth.]

my response is that he's right on…And I would add that I've suspected for a long time that some of the "activism" is actually intended to deliberately create and nourish unwarranted distrust in the system for malicious reasons.

[And this Dummie wins a Kewpie doll for having a very brief moment of mental clarity!]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-06-05 ("If we impeach bush what does that mean?")

It is obvious DUmmies are deeply in need of better educations as you can see in this QUESTION, “If we impeach bush what does that mean?” Perhaps the DUmmie posing this question has been reading the DUmmie FUnnies over the past few months in which we make mockery over the DUmmie belief that if Bush is impeached then he will be replaced by John Kerry. However, it is amusing to watch DUmmies instructing DUmmies in how the impeachment process works. As usual the education challenged DUmmie postings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, checking the DUmmie answers in the Blue Book exam, is in the [brackets]:

If we impeach bush what does that mean?

[It means that once he is impeached, Bush will be immediately replaced by John Kerry and you DUmmies can wake up from living in your alternate reality.]

can we kick him out of office?

[All is possible in the DUmmie Alternate Reality.]

i know we need more dems in the house to start impeachment proceedings, but ... when we get them and they start--and he is impeached, does he have to leave office or is it just a slap on the wrist.

[Why don’t you ask Bill Clinton since he WAS impeached. And in the REAL reality.]

if he leaves, then does cheney take over till end of term?

[What’s the matter? Don’t you read the DUmmie posts? If Bush leaves then John Kerry replaces him.]

If we tried to impeach Bush....would the media cover it? How would we know?

[It depends in what reality Bush is impeached. If he is impeached in the DUmmie Reality then I don’t hold out too much hope that it will be covered outside of Dummieland.]

Ain't gonna happen. There would have to be a conviction following the impeachment; only then would he have to haul his sorry ass back to Crawford. And then Darth Cheney would be President. He'd then appoint his own VP, who would be some heinous scumbag like Frist. As much as I'd like to see the Chimperor kicked out of the White House, this would not actually improve anything much.

[Huh? Where did you get that whacky idea? The Constitution?]

A better scenario is to get the goods on #2 and #3 in line before bumping W..We need to plan ahead because a constitutional crisis would be preferable to a normal pattern of succession in this case..

[Great idea except by the time you get around to impeaching #1, it will be Jan. 20, 2009.]

Sorry, but that wouldn't work. If the vice president resigned or was removed (as in Spiro Agnew) the president would appoint a new vice president subject to Senate confirmation. If the speaker of the House (3rd in line) was removed, the House would simply elect a new speaker. So there will always be some Republican bozo waiting in the wings unless we take the House back in 2006.

[DAMN! Back to Square One.]

got to work backwards up chain of command Rove, Rice, Chaney, Bush. In that order. In jail, preferably Gitmo.

[Rove is only #4 in the constitutional line of succession? And here I always thought he was about #2.]

In the unlikely scenario that we win back the House in 2006. We would need a very cohesive majority there, something we haven't had in had 40 years, just to get him impeached in the House. Then there would be a trial in the Senate, and to be be found guilty and be removed from office, it would require a 2/3s vote, and that will not happen under any circumstance. So basically he will be in the WH until 2008.

[Maybe it is time to start the “I BEEEEELEEEEEVEEEE!” threads for the impeachment of Bush.]

how hard can it be? seems to me that the shit if falling down around this country left and right and left again. (freudian slip? left again? wishful thinking?) people are gonna vote the dems in.

[Try “wishful thinking.”]

He could simply resign...Stanger things have happened. As unlikely as this seems, the Republican Party may decide it's time to save what little face they have left and call for his resignation. Things are declining rapidly in thier camp and they know it. Shit like this could destory their party. At some point, self-preservation is going to kick in. Look at Voinovich and how he miraculously opposed a vote on Bolton. I'm not a big fan of Voinovich but I do know he's not stupid. He would never have pulled a stunt like this if he thought the Republican majority was as solid as they keep saying it is. There is dessention in the ranks, even though we don't see it, it's there. They're not going to go down for Bush, they're just not.

[I BEEEEEELEEEEEVE that Bush will resign!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-04-05 ("How did we come to this? Damn you George Bush!")

Damn you George Bush! It’s your fault! I don’t care what it is. It is the fault of George Bush! Sound familiar? If so, then you have already been exposed to the thematic drumbeat of DUmmieland. Therefore it is not surprising that the latest beat on the DUmmie drumhead comes in the form of this THREAD titled, “How did we come to this? Damn you George Bush!” What was the cause of the latest outburst? The release by the U.S. Army of a photo showing a soldier holding a child wounded by a terrorist car bomb. Of course, the DUmmies would NEVER think to condemn the ones who actually set off the blast. No. It is the fault of George Bush. So let us now analyze this latest example of DUmmie blindness scrawled in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, tempted to blame a Florida thunderstorm yesterday on George Bush, is in the [brackets]:

“Picture released by the U.S. Army Tuesday, May 3, 2005 shows a U.S. Army soldier comforting a child fatally wounded in a car bomb blast in Mosul, 360 km (225 miles) northwest of Baghdad, Iraq, Monday, May 2, 2005.”

[So you will be condemning the TERRORISTS for setting off this car bomb, right?]

This is got to be the saddest picture I've ever seen. What we are doing is insane and all because of the madman occupying the Oval Office. Damn you George Bush, damn you to hell.

[Oops! Silly me. I forgot we are in DUmmieland. It is the fault of George Bush. The terrorists get a free ride.]

Bush is truly a piece of shit. I can't think of anything else to say.

[How about saying even a slight word of condemnation of the terrorists who actually set off the bomb? But I guess that would be too much to expect.]

That is about the saddest thing I've ever seen...guess the media won't pick it up...if they did, I think it would change minds and hearts.

[The media won’t pick it up? Did you even check the source for that photo? Ap.org. It was from the AP.]

People need to see this picture. I can't believe the Army released it. Someone on the inside must be sick of this shit too.

[Maybe they are sick of the terrorists. But that wouldn’t occur to you.]

With a little help from the people of DU this picture could be seen by tens of millions of people.

[Hopefully tens of millions of people will see the sad picture the DUmmies are painting of themselves.]

Maybe the army thought it would make us mad to see what the insurgents are doing to civilians.

[Gee. Do ya think maybe, just maybe, it could be so?]

Nope, I don't blame them for this pic. I blame George Bush. The death of that child and the destruction of that soldiers life are 100% his fault.

[All the fault of George Bush! Removal of Saddam from power? I blame George Bush! Syrians leaving Lebanon? I blame George Bush! Kurds no longer being slaughtered? I blame George Bush! It is his fault! Damn him!!!]

The soldier belongs home with his child, the child dying in his arms belongs home with his family, and George W. Bush belongs in prison, along with a sizeable chunk of his administration.

[And you belong in an asylum with the rest of DUmmieland.]

I wish someone would stop the madness!

[I agree. Shut down DUmmieland.]

I just answered someone who said I was dreaming about the voting machines being rigged, I know they were, I saw it with my own eyes, and still Ohio smolders…

[Now we know what you are telling your shrink from the analyst’s couch.]

F*CK gwb**! F*ck all of the f*ckers that control him! F*ck them all!

[Stand by for just a little while longer. Your meds will be medivaced in within the hour.]

Shrub is an example of pure, f*cking evil...just look at the picture in chlamor's post. I'm just wondering where the 666 is hiding...

[On the inner crevice of your tush.]

I could not match that facial expression if I tried. It is truly the face of pure f*ckin' evil.

[If it bothers you so much, then just put the mirror down.]

I spent 10 or so minutes in front of a mirror trying to duplicate that expression. It can't be done. It is disturbs on a visceral level.

[Your face disturbs on all levels without practice.]

F*CK YOU GEORGE F*CKING BUSH!

[Leather strap or electro-shock? Your choice.]

I am so sad for this country I once thought of as home. I feel like such a stranger in Amerika. When will it end? America, WAKE THE F*CK UP!!!!!!!

[You feel like a stranger in “Amerika?” See that EXIT sign? No one is keeping you from leaving.]

Reminds me of the Oklahoma City photo of the fireman with the dead toddler in his arms, and that may be part of the reason it is so very haunting. Bless the soldier and the babe in his arms.

[You didn’t blame George Bush… LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-03-05 ("Kerry: 'I Think These People are Extremists'")

Poor John Kerry. He is wasting his last reserves of energy in a completely fruitless task. Since losing the election, Kerry has worked harder in just those few months than he had in his entire senate career prior to the election. Why? Because Kerry is actually under the delusion that he will be re-nominated again in ’08. Face the fact, Johnny Boy. You have NO chance of being nominated in ’08. Hillary already has that nomination in the bag and there isn’t even a chance in hell that you will gain it again. The only result of all the incredible effort you are putting up to look like you are still relevant is that you will be going down hard, very HARD when you realize in a few years that you have been completely WASTING your time trying to reach for the prize that is beyond your grasp. Yes, it will be quite amusing to observe your volcanic anger when you finally figure out that you could have been relaxing all this time snowboarding or windsurfing or just lounging on the porch of Teh-RAY-suh’s Nantucket mansion. Of course, you won’t heed the advice to bow to the inevitable and spend your final years enjoying life. Instead, you will plow on, burning out body and soul seeking that which will NEVER be yours. The latest pathetic episode of Kerry Quest occurred when Kerry cast aspersions upon the Bush administration as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Kerry: ‘I Think These People are Extremists’.” Um, Kerry, have you ever taken a look at the WACKY posts in Dummieland? If not, then I suggest you start adding the DUmmie FUnnies to your reading list so you can learn that the REAL extremists are in YOUR camp. As usual, the extremist DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anticipating the comedy entertainment of Kerry’s inevitable fall, is in the [brackets]:

Why hasn't the Bush administration acted? "I think these people are extremists, it's very simple," he said.

[Thus spaketh John Kerry in a Seattle Post-Intelligencer story as he continues his perpetual quest for the presidency.]

You go, John! He's asking us all to get out in the streets! How much longer will it take for a revolution...velvet revolution, of course?

[Of course. Of course. But of course you really want a Bolshevik Revolution.]

I think this is why people busted their ass for you John. You know, that time span you took off during the time period after you knew you had the nomination and November 2nd to beat these fascist bastards in the ground, but instead you went out windsurfing and making a general dork out of yourself. The people also squeezed the blood out of turnips so you would run attack ads bashing Bush so we could save this f*cking country and trusting you to stand up and fight, but you didn't. You know what John just shut the f*ck up and do your job because your never ever again getting another shot at the white house.

[True but it is going to be a lot of FUN to watch Kerry go down hard when the ’08 nomination goes to Hillary instead. The Kerry fall will be HILARIOUS in its angry collapse.]

The right wing would just love it if he shut up and went away. SO HE'S NOT GOING TO DO IT.

[Great! That means even MORE funny DUFU editions.]

Thanks Mr.Kerry for doing your job and working for us. We appreciate it.

[Thanks Mr. Kerry for the wonderful work you are doing for us. And we just KNOW that you will be signing Form 180 because you gave your solid promise that you would do so.]

I met people that actually believed in the swift boat shit.

[Kerry has effectively countered that by PROMISING to sign his Form 180.]

He is doing something in Ohio. Google the name Don McTigue and Ohio if you don't believe me. He's just not jumping up and down like an idiot with no good proof. He's obsessive compulsive, not lazy. And a prosecutor who wouldn't come traipsing out without good, hard evidence.

[Can I also Google the name Bev Harris?]

Did he really lose? That's the million dollar question. Find out about The Republican Noise Machine and you might understand it all better and not blame Kerry. Try Google.

[Anytime we want actual PROOF that the election was stolen, the DUmmies just sigh and tell us to Google the facts. Of course they never tell us HOW the election was stolen. Only that we can find out if we check Google.]

But if he did win, and there was fraud, then maybe it wasn't such a lousy campaign after all. Because, after all, he won, didn't he.

[Of course Kerry won. And I promise I will find out how as soon as I check Google.]

At least he's doing what he should have been doing for years.

[You mean actually WORKING for the first time in his senate career?]

I want to personally thank you for flaming my thread! All you've done is whine and drop "doo" in it. Some people on DU actually care about what John Kerry is doing and believe in him.

[I believe the correct term for those people is “suckers.”]

go Johnny go go go ! keep doin it, the people need to know. If anyone needs to hang their heads, it is us the people who failed you.

[WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!!]

The spotlight is his if he wants it and if he keeps making noises like this he will get it. Keep it comin' John!

[Johnny Boy can make all the flatulent noises he wants but HILLARY will get it.]

It's kind of interesting watching him slowly build up, isn't it. He says he's still fired up. I wonder how long he can keep that up. We need him fired up. He's the Incredible Hulk when he's fired up. He just keeps cranking the rhetoric up a notch each time he opens his mouth. He was nearly ranting last week after the Frist appearance at "Justice Sunday."

[Soon Kerry will be reaching the Al Gore levels in the ranting department.]

Kerry needed a primal scream like Dean, instead he he nuanced his way to extinction.

[YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!]

That's it, John. Seize the fire.

[Seize the Form 180.]

Give um' hell, Senator Kerry! Extremists is right! And we need more of our Dem leaders to become as vocal and direct as Senator Kerry... these Extremists groups that I call "Cults" are seeping into our Government from local, on up to the Hill

[And don’t forget the DUmmie Cult filled with their bizarre cryptic language of MIHOP, IHOP, BFEE, PNAC, etc..]

He could strip nekkid, set himself on fire all while reading a speech blasting Bush, and the only notice he'd get from the MSM is if they needed a light for their ciggie butts.

[I prefer NOT to be around when Kerry strips nekkid.]

DUmmie FUnnies 05-02-05 ("The right punishment for the Bush Mob after exposure?")

The DUmmies NEVER disappoint in the Moon Bat department as this THREAD titled, “The right punishment for the Bush Mob after exposure?” reveals. There is not a chance in hell of a Bush impeachment yet the DUmmie Moon Bats are already arguing what type of punishment should be given to Bush after he is forcibly removed from office. Yeah, this will surely happen BUT only in the DUmmie Alternate Reality. Meanwhile it must really suck bigtime for DUmmies to be living in the REAL reality where nothing is going right for the DUmmies. Worst of all, is the fact that these ardent DUmmies, burning for revenge, are being consistently MOCKED on a certain popular Blog featuring a cigar-smoking beaver. As usual, the alternate reality rantings of the DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the real reality commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

The right punishment for the Bush Mob after exposure?

[Make them read insane DUmmie rantings over and over and over again.]

Recovering our history is more important than simple punishment.

[Isn’t that a quote from “Deep Sea Detectives?” But continue with your entertaining wackiness, DUmmie JackRiddler…]

The men who plundered the nation - twice, once in the 1980s, then again after the 2000 coup - the men who stole the elections of 1980, 2000 and 2004 - the men who thought up the two-war budget and Starwars and PNAC and engineered 9/11 and brought war to so many countries so that they and their clients could profit - the men of Enron and Halliburton and Carlyle - the creators of Bin Ladin and the War On Terror - the destroyers of the American dream and the American dollar - the true kingpins of the crack and heroine trades... are not geniuses. They are sick and fearful little animals.

[Engineered 9/11? So I guess that puts you into the MIHOP ward? Continue…]

When it all breaks apart, when the time comes for their punishment... I don't want to see them hanged... or abused... or mistreated.

[How humanitarian of you, DUmmie JackRiddler. Continue speaking from your couch. The shrink IS listening and taking notes…]

It's not (just) about being better than them. It's about getting the truth. They should be sequestered on an island.

[And considering your bizarre fantasies, that island should be Fantasy Island.]

Treatment and priveleges will be based on how well they recall and recount their crimes. The more they talk, and the more what they say can be confirmed as true, the better their treatment.

[“Okay, George. You can have some cheese on your crackers but ONLY if you tell us how you poured arsenic into the nation’s well water.” And speaking of treatment, DUmmie JackRiddler, the helicopter is standing by to medicvac you to the nearest ward for your Lithium treatements.]

We don't need them in a conventional jail. We need them as museum exhibits. They are a resource for the true history of the United States in the 20th and 21st century. The American people need an education about what was really going on more than they will ever need retribution.

[So I guess the big question is whether to incarcerate them at the Museum of Science or Epcot Center. And where is your exhibit, DUmmie JackRiddler? The Freak Show section of Ripley’s Believe It Or Not? Unless people see you ranting, they just won’t believe the nuttiness you spew.]

So I vote for the Napoleon Solution: Bush & Co. to St. Helena's!

[And for you DUmmie JackRiddler, I vote the Bird Cage solution. Put you on public display in a bird cage so people can laugh at your insane visions from the alternate reality.]

What I want is for them to be impeached in shame and all of them put in jail for their lives. All the way from Bush to Rice. I want John Kerry to prosecute them too.

[And to all the DUmmies who complain about insane quotes being quoted as if it represents the majority, DUmmie FreedomAngel82 just chimed in with that nugget whose theme I am sure will be repeated en masse by the DUmmie chorus.]

This Can Be Their New Home: The UN Prison at the Palace of Peace in the Hague. Home of convicted war criminals. pResidential pardons not accepted.

[Welcome to your new home, DUmmie AndyTiedye: The Happy Hague Palace of Fun, home of Moon Bat DUmmies. Sanity certificates NOT issued.]

I want...all of their assets to be liquidated and used to establish a universal health care system in America.

[The assets of Bush and Cheney aren’t even enough to cover one day’s worth of DUmmie meds.]

They must be impeached first...And then after, Bush and his order of the radicals must face prison and community service time.

[Make them wheel DUmmies to their wards. YEAH!]

yes, I want them caged and toured across the country & world a small fee to view them and a tad more if you want to bitch slap them, pinch them, or give them wedgies. This should raise enough money to repay our country and begin to repay Iraq. Saddam can join them on the tour. He can be hit with a shoe for a buck.

[You left out noogies. How about charging two bits for a noogie? The money raised can be used to help fund the Progressive Democrats of America.]

Three Words: International Criminal Court

[Three Words: Seek Help Now!]

Chuck Hagel and other big time GOP riders are turning against them....This is not a good time for them...Don't be afraid of them, and speak out in defiant free speech.

[A DUmmie endorsement of Chuck Hagel. Thanx for just killing Hagel’s chances of winning the Republican nomination in ’08.]

I wake up with a feeling of dread--that I almost don't even notice anymore, but it's there--because of these jackals. I can't think of a just punishment because there is none. These people are soul murderers. Furthermore, I don't think they'll ever be exposed or held accountable.

[Yeah, it is a bit tough to be exposed for committing imaginary crimes.]

Don't lose hope. Their Day of Reckoning will come. Probably sooner than later at this point, because too many people are really beginning to feel pain for the BFEE's deceit. Without relief, eventually the public's anger will explode into rage, riots and even revolution against the elites. This will happen because the middle class and their hopes and dreams will have been wiped out by the elitists' greed and foolish oversight of the reasoning as to why the middle class was created.

[But before you begin rioting, please don’t forget to send money to the Progressive Democrats of America. Pied Piper Pitt needs the funds to buy a new set of glasses to stare at his navel with.]

In my darkest moments, I see an end similar to Romania's Ceaucescu.....But then my higher thoughts win out, and I have to go with the International Criminal Court.

[And then a couple of rational thoughts slip in momentarily and you realize that you would be happy for just a few extra chunks of horse meat on your dinner plate when they slip it through your cell slot.]

I still favor the Mussolini upside down punishment. It has visual strength.

[That visual picture has been forwarded to the Secret Service, DUmmie aquart. I repeat the name: DUmmie aquart.]

Give each the Saddam treatment, starting with the spider hole and their internment could be Gitmo for awhile, where they might enjoy the prostitute/menstral blood treatment among the other spa offerings, and then lots and lots of solitary confinement alternated with lots and lots of interogation. Start by finding what they know about 9-11, and don't forget the list of all the sneaky underhanded executive orders and such they made. Get the list of media whores so they to can enjoy the accommodations at Gitmo. People like Ruppert Murdock should be invited for extended stays.

[Speaking of extended stays, DUmmie mandyky. Your shrink tells me you will be released from your extended stay in the Year 2525, if Man is still Alive.]