DUmmie FUnnies 02-28-05 ("This Third American Empire (seeking input)"---Pied Piper Pitt]

When I was in high school, every once in a while, our class would be visited by a graduate who was currently attending a college as a Freshman or Sophomore. As this college student would speak with his former teacher, we would be somewhat impressed with the “vast knowledge” of this person who seemed like a man of the world in comparison to us mere high school kids. Of course, these college guys weren’t really all that knowledgeable but they still appeared to make an impression on us little high school kids who didn’t know any better. And now we have William Rivers Pitt performing the same routine on the high school kids of Dummieland in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “This Third American Empire (seeking input).” As we shall see in this latest bloviation by Pied Piper Pitt, he really doesn’t know what the hell he is talking about with his slapdash lesson of mock history but it is enough to impress the DUmmies. So what is the goal of Pied Piper Pitt’s overlong discourse here? Well, you have to suffer through until near the end when Pitt introduces a new boogyman to replace the DUmmie OBSESSION with PNAC. Yes, thanx to Pied Piper Pitt, the DUmmies can now fear the obscure something called CNP which is the WHOLE PURPOSE of this bloviation. Not that Pitt really thinks there is something fearful about CNP. He just wants to inflate his self-importance by introducing this new boogyman. Therefore, in the future, whenever the DUmmies screech about the powerful CNP, Pitt can feel puffed up over the fact that HE was the one that seared that CNP brand onto the DUmmie conciousness. Without further ado, let us now chuckle over Pied Piper Pitt’s pseudo history lecture. Pitt’s bloviations and the DUmmie responses are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, sending out a History for DUmmies book to Pitt, is in the [brackets]:

This Third American Empire (seeking input). This is very rough. Any and all input would be greatly appreciated.

[And the “input” you seek, Pitt, is a massive pat on the back from the high school DUmmies who are awed that Pitt is able to piece together some slapdash history which sounds as if it were taught to him by Professor Ward Churchill.]

There have been three American empires since the creation of this nation. Each has fed the other, and each has been established and fortified by war, and more importantly, by the vast profits derived by the few in the making of war.

[Yup, it definitely sounds like you were taught by Professor Ward Churchill Pitt. Oh, and nice touch there with that Third American Empire shtick since it sounds comparable with the Third Reich. But why not just drop the subtley, Pitt, and call this the Third American Reich?]

The first American empire began with the conclusion of the Civil War. All the states east of the Mississippi River had been brought by force back under the rule of the federal government, a national taxation system had been established to provide revenues to that government, and the nascent outlines of what Eisenhower described as ‘the military/industrial complex’ had been built by the lucrative contracts handed out to arm, clothe and feed the military.

[Oops! You forgot all about the Westward movement PRIOR to the Civil War. Plus I think even Professor Ward Churchill would give you an “F” for forgetting to mention the War with Mexico which all good leftists include as a highlight of American “imperialism.” Also at the conclusion of the Civil War, the “military/industrial” complex virtually disappeared. Another “F” or at best a “D” in history for you here. So what address shall I send your copy of the “History for DUmmies” book, Pitt?]

For many years prior, Americans had been pushing into the western lands occupied by native peoples. Under the banner of Manifest Destiny, the military/economic machine created to fight the Confederacy pushed its way to the Pacific Ocean. In the process, the vast majority of Native Americans were erased from the book of history, a book that is always written by the victors.

[Not only is your history lacking here, Pitt, but your logic as well. How could a “military/economic machine created to fight the Confederacy” push its way to the Pacific Ocean “for many years prior” to the conclusion of the Civil War when in the previous paragraph you said this all began at the conclusion of the Civil War. However, have no fear about being exposed as a charlatan in DUmmieland. DUmmies are notorious for having VERY SHORT attention spans so you will easily pull off this not-so-slight of hand.]

The boundaries of this first empire were limited to the 48 continental states, but it did not long stay this way. By the time Woodrow Wilson assumed the presidency, the first American empire had expanded to include Cuba, Guam, Puerto Rico and the Philippines. Imperial footholds had been established in South America and East Asia. While other global empires were on the wane – the Spanish empire was essentially dissolved with the signing of the Treaty of Paris in 1898, while the French and British empires were being attacked and slowly rolled back – this first American empire became more muscular with each passing day.

[Another “F” in history. Wilson assumed the Presidency PRIOR to World War I. Before that war both the French and British empires were at their height. The dissolution of those colonial empires did not start until AFTER both nations were weakened by the Great War.]

The transition between the first and second American empires began on April 2nd, 1917, when newly re-elected President Wilson reversed his campaign theme of staying out of the European conflict and asked congress for a declaration of war against Germany. Previously, Americans had defined themselves in no small part by being separated from the troubles of the ‘Old World.’ When the doughboys shipped out, however, that line of demarcation was crossed.

[Another “F” in history, Pitt, for leaving out the “little part” about Germany’s announcement at the end of January 1917 of unrestricted submarine warfare on American ships approaching British ports. So it wasn’t exactly like Wilson woke up one morning in April and suddenly decided to enter the war in Europe in order to begin a Second American Empire.]

Despite the eventual victory in Europe, the second American empire took many more years to flower and flourish. American armies and navies were essentially dismantled in the aftermath of the ‘War to End All Wars,’ and the 1930s saw the near-collapse of the American economic system. The advent of and eventual victory in World War II not only cemented the second empire, but resurrected and forever changed the fundamental underpinnings of the American economy. From that victory to now, the American economy has been based centrally on preparation for and fighting of wars.

[The bloodiest war in history gets a quickie review by Pied Piper Pitt . Oh and that war, in the Pitt theory, is really only important in the context of its advancement of the “”Second American Empire.”]


By the end of World War II, the influence of the second American empire stretched throughout Europe to the borders of the new foe, the Soviet empire. Strongholds of the second American empire could be likewise found in Africa, the Japanese mainland and many Pacific islands and, with the creation of the state of Israel, the strategically-vital Middle East. American corporations which had built the victorious war machine swam in an ocean of profits. The ‘military/industrial complex’ was about to become the dominant force in domestic and global commerce, conflict and social structure.

[Finally we hear something about the Soviets---but only as a neutered counterpoint to the EVIL Second American Empire.]

The central reality of the second American empire was the Cold War, a death struggle between two competing ideologies waged across the width and breadth of the planet. The icy staring contest at Checkpoint Charlie in Berlin stood a grim counterpoint to the hot blood spilled in proxy wars fought in Korea, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Angola, the Sinai Peninsula and elsewhere. American and Soviet arms dealers salted the world with millions of conventional weapons to aid these proxy fights.

[Okay, I give you an “A” in your use of moral equivalence here, Pitt, between the EVIL Second American and the “competing” ideology of Communism.]

All the while, larger and more powerful nuclear weaponry was developed by both sides, deployed across the globe, and aimed with deadly intent. On several occasions, most prominently during the Cuban Missile Crisis, these dragons came within inches of shipping the leash. The production of these weapons left uncounted tons of waste behind.

[And where shall I ship your leash, Pitt? I’ll include it in the same package as your “History For DUmmies” book.]

The roots of the third American empire were planted deep in this time. At home, the populace became accustomed to existing in a perpetual state of war. The establishment of the Truman Doctrine by men like Paul Nitze created the foundations for an enduring reality: Americans are most easily governed when they are made to fear the strangers ‘over there’ across the horizon.

[And do you think that maybe, possibly, that Harry Truman might have had the teeniest weeniest bit to do with the establishment of the Truman Doctrine? Naw!]

Profits from contracts for the development and deployment of weaponry became profitable on an epic scale. The military/industrial complex came to own whole swaths of the American political spectrum on both sides of the aisle, and attached itself umbilically to the petroleum industry as a matter of basic expediency. One cannot fight wars without an abundance of oil and gasoline, and after a fashion, the means and the ends became indistinguishable.

[Meanwhile the Soviets were happily engaged in cultural festivals and driving tractors on collective farms. It’s TRUE! I read all about it in Soviet Life.]

The fall of the second American empire came slowly. Millions of Americans took to the streets to protest the large-scale death empire required. The Vietnam War ended with images of Americans fleeing from rooftops in helicopters. A president was required to resign his office or face removal and imprisonment. A 1950s-era chess move in Iran resulted in the 1979 Islamic revolution and the daily humiliation of America by masked gunmen pointing rifles at blindfolded hostages. The CIA, long the sharp saber of American foreign policy, was broken by the Church Committee. Gasoline became brutally expensive and the American economy struck yet another reef. The American populace, by and large, fell into what could be called a mass depression, described by the last president of the second American empire as ‘malaise.’

[Lyndon Johnson was facing removal AND imprisonment? Actually Johnson was facing the loss of any chance of RE-ELECTION. Another “F” in history, Pitt.]

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly when the third American empire came into being, but a hockey game will suffice as a marker. On February 2, 1980, the American Olympic hockey team came from nowhere to defeat the unbeatable Soviet squad in Lake Placid. The subsequent eruption of nationalistic fervor, augmented by the American squad’s victory over Finland in the final round to capture the gold medal, led to an outpouring of public emotion that no sporting event had ever created.

[Hold on! Pitt has lactched onto his Hockey Game theory of geopolitics and he’s NOT letting go. Stand by for MORE!]

It was at Lake Placid that the now-familiar chant of “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” was born. The American people had been well-trained during the second empire to expect being on top, and the years prior to Lake Placid had been hard. Something so simple as a win on that ice was enough to strike sparks again, to ignite the long fuse that has been this third American empire. The American people were mesmerized by the vision of their flag rising next to but just a little higher than the red Soviet banner. It was their first taste of what would become a long and uninterrupted stretch of total global dominance.

[Yes. We got the taste of blood at the Olympic Hockey Game victory and in a fit of extreme nationalism we wanted more Commie blood especially after being mesmerized by the American flag rising slightly higher than the Bolshevik Red Soviet banner. With blood curdling screams of “USA! USA!” in the streets the Third American Reich, oops, I mean the Third American Empire was born. Thank you for elaborating on the Hockey Game Theory of Geopolitics, Pitt. For this I nominate you to the Ward Churchill Chair of History.]

The central aspect of this third American empire has been the rise of the ‘movement conservative.’ Not to be confused with the breed of conservative that included Nixon and Rockefeller, the movement conservatives held American nationalism and evangelical Christianity as a dual-headed state religion. They spurn concepts of détente and international cooperation. They were and remain radicals in every sense of the word, seeking to deconstruct the American social state that had been in place since the days of FDR.

[Another “F” in history for classifying Rockefeller as any type of conservative although he did redeem himself somewhat late in life by flipping the Finger at some leftist demonstrators. Oh, and I like that touch there about dual-headed state religion. It has no basis in reality but it sounds catchy enough to impress the reality-challenged DUmmies. But what are the Pentecostal Christians> Chopped liver? They are just going to sit around quietly while being ruled by the state religion of the Evangelicals? And let's not even get into the Mormons or the Roman Catholics. “F” in theology for you, Pitt.]

Ronald Reagan, the first president of this third empire, was the avatar of these movement conservatives, who first began to become an organized entity in American politics during the campaign of Barry Goldwater. Reagan was their perfect man: Confident to a fault, dedicated to the enrichment of the wealthy corporate class while deconstructing Roosevelt’s social safety net by any means necessary.

[Whew! I was worried you would forget the obligatory leftist slam against Reagan, Pitt. Thanx for not failing us, Pitt. Oh, and I notice how you DUmmies love avatars. It rolls off the tongue so nicely.]

Reagan established the forked-tongue policy talk adopted by the present administration: Speak about the end of large government, gut entitlement programs wherever they can be found, while simultaneously cut against the grain of the ‘small government’ ideal by vastly increasing the military and intelligence apparatus of government with trillions of dollars of taxpayer monies.

[Meanwhile the impotent Soviet Empire folks were just sitting on their progressive butts playing tiddly-winks.]

This cash, as it did during the rise of the first and second empires, vastly increased the power and reach of the military/industrial/petroleum combine. The movement conservatives, funded by this combine, pushed for the deregulation by government of business in every aspect of commerce, none more pointedly than within the media. Over the course of this third empire, that combine has purchased 99% of the news media, ensuring that an uninterrupted commercial advocating for empire would be broadcast 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Competing messages were all but shut out.

[Yeah, everyone knows that the conservative CBS news was anchored by that rightwing Dan Rather back then. Ah! The eighties. When folks were being brainwashed 24/7 by the military/industrial mouthpieces, NPR and PBS. Their rightwing propaganda was inescapable.]

When the Berlin Wall finally fell, when the Soviet empire finally imploded, the banner for this third American empire was unfurled for all to see. For the first time in history since the apex of Roman rule, one nation and one government and one military ruled supreme over the known world. The movement conservatives, having lost communism as the main target for their energies and ire, turned inward and laid siege to the tattered remains of the leftover establishment that lingered from the second empire.

[One day in 1989, the Berlin Wall just toppled over by its own weight. Ronald Reagan had absolutely NOTHING to do with it. Please repeat that leftist mantra, Pitt. Ronald Reagan had NOTHING to do with the fall of the Soviel Union even though Russians today give credit to Reagan for its fall.]

Much has been made of conservative ‘think tanks’ like the American Enterprise Institute and the Project for the New American Century, organizations made up of movement conservatives whose influence has reached far and wide within government during this third empire. One think tank, however, has worked in almost total secrecy since its establishment in 1981, at the outset of the third empire. It is this group, more than any other, which has shaped and defined the third empire as we know it. While many other groups have had influence, this one serves as an excellent standard for the main.

[FINALLY, after the long wait, we come to the REAL PURPOSE of Pied Piper Pitt’s bloviation. The previous paragraph was the drum roll build up to….]

The Council for National Policy does not advertise, but its presence is felt immediately in virtually every aspect of American life. It’s members include Senators, religious leaders and prominent crafters of policy. Among these are Pat Robertson, Bob Jones III, Jerry Falwell, Larry Klayman, Ralph Reed, Tom DeLay, Grover Norquist, and Paul Weyrich. Groups affiliated with CNP include the American Conservative Union, USA Radio Networks, Gun Owners of America, the Eagle Forum, and the Family Research Council.

[…CNP!!! Never heard of it before but if you say it is the power of the very core of the Third American Empire, then it must be so, Pitt. Unfortunately CNP just doesn’t roll off the tongue like PNAC. Pee-NAC definitely has a better sound. “P-NACing, Mr. Pinnell? P-NACing.”]

Today, many of these extremist groups have been accepted into mainstream political dialogue, thanks to the influence of the media portals purchased by the combine years ago. CNP is funded by, among others, Nelson Bunker Hunt of the Texas-based petroleum empire, the Coors family, and Pierre DuPont, whose family became rich by manufacturing gunpowder for the military during World War I.

[CNP---A registered Tinfoil Hat Conspiracy Theory by Pied Piper Pitt. Remember to give Pitt full credit whenever CNP is invoked in the future, DUmmies.]

In 1981, Woody Jenkins, a former Louisiana state lawmaker who served as CNP’s first executive director, told Newsweek, "One day before the end of this century, the Council will be so influential that no president, regardless of party or philosophy, will be able to ignore us or our concerns or shut us out of the highest levels of government." He was right.

[Beware the CNP Troopers storming the streets! Sorry, Pitt, CNP just isn’t catchy enough. Couldn’t you pull an evil rightwing organization name out of your magic hat that rolls off the tongue better, Pitt?]

CNP’s first president and co-founder is Chris LaHaye, author of the Christian fundamentalist/apocalyptic ‘Left Behind’ book series. He was followed by Tom Ellis in 1982, who served as the director of the Pioneer Fund, an organization that has worked hard to promulgate the idea that blacks are genetically inferior to whites. Subsequent leaders of CNP have pushed the overweening goal of the organization: To infiltrate government from top to bottom, and to establish the Christian Reconstructionist goal of leaving aside the Constitution in favor of Old Testament law.

[So, Pitt, where on the Web can I buy a CNP Tinfoil Hat? CafePress?]

The rise of George W. Bush, leader of the evangelical/political wing of American Christianity since 1996, to the office of the president has been the fulfillment of the dreams of movement conservatives and their representatives in the CNP. September 11 cemented their ascendancy. Now, permanent war and rule by fear are accepted without question. Now, the news media owned by the combine opens the public dialogue to these radicals while painting them as moderate, rational Americans. Now, the dominance of the military/industrial/petroleum combine is unquestioned. Now, the idea that America is engaged in a holy war has been widely disseminated.

[9-11 really had nothing to do with terrorism or Al-Qaeda. It was REALLY about cementing the power of CNP in Pied Piper Pitt’s world view. This makes about as much since as his Hockey Game Theory of Geopolitics.]

There are several cracks in the veneer, however, many of which began during the second empire. The weapons disbursed across the planet during the Cold War are now being pointed at us. Many of our former client states such as Iraq and Saudi Arabia, which served us so well during the Cold War, have now become profoundly debilitating problems that have exposed our vaunted national security system and military forces as less than adequate to the tasks of empire. The dollar is failing slowly but surely, and new power combines between nations like China, Russia and Iran threaten to destabilize American dominance. Oil, the true coin of this realm, is also becoming scarce. The extremism that always comes when one overwhelming force spreads its wings has passed the point of management, and has itself become both organized and well-funded.

[Actually oil is only becoming scarce in this country because of leftist restrictions on drilling. There rest of the world is awash in the stuff. But please return to your CNP shtick, Pitt, the real purpose of your overlong post.]

It seems all too clear that this third American empire is preparing to collapse under its own ponderous weight. The movement conservatives cannot contain the forces that have been unleashed against them. The American military is proving itself to be incapable of sustaining the unreasonable demands being placed upon it. The ghosts from the second empire loom large, in Europe and Africa and the Middle East and Central Asia, and the power of Jesus cannot hope to contain them. The American economy, sustained for sixty years by petroleum and war, stands at grave risk of being subsumed by both.

[Didn’t we just have democratic elections in Iraq? No matter. It is counter to Pitt’s doom and gloom screechings.]

There will be a fourth American empire. Like the previous three, its realities will exist far beyond platitudes and utopian desires. If the ultimate collapse of the third empire is as debilitating as it threatens to be, this fourth empire will be hard put to sustain itself any better than its predecessors. In the collapse of the third empire looms the ultimate threat: A breed of American fascism that will dwarf in both scope and brutality all previous breeds of harsh authoritarian rule.

[Yeah. Right now the fascist regimentation here is worse than what is going on in North Korea. I can just picture the Fourth Amerian Empire filled with goosestepping CNP troopers screaming “USA! USA! USA!” And worst of all those horrible fascists will be openly mocking good progressives like Pied Piper Pitt. Oh, the Horror! The Horror!]

Tomorrow’s history is being written today in blood. Empires always fall. Always.

[Do I have your permission, Pitt, to laminate that profound saying and place it into my wallet. Oh, and one other thing, Pitt. After reading your factually deprived hilarious bloviation with its tinfoil hat theories and bizarre speculations that make less than no sense, I just have to ask you this, Pitt: Are you a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL whose purpose is to make the DUmmies look even Dumber than they already are, if that is possible?]

I like where you are going with this....have sent it to a social historian for collaboration.

[You sent it to Professor Ward Churcill, DUmmie paineinthearse?]

Seems like an outline for a great book. The conclusion needs a bit of fleshing out imho. Are you saying that the third empire will collapse (and with our current hubris and escalating debt I fear it will), and that a fourth fascist theocracy will arise? It seems to me that we are at the tipping point of that transition and it is actually the end of the third empire. The question to me is that if we cannot stop this, how much of the world will we take with us?

[A great book? Start the presses at Pluto Publishing rolling! I can see the title now, “The Great CNP Conspiracy” (with Tinfoil Hat insert).]

Also, if/when the US does finally tank, its not going to be rising up as a dangerous fascist state anytime soon. Even if the government wants to be authoritarian, the resources simply will not be there -- we are rapidly moving towards a nation that is economically crippled, and therefore incapable of military shows of strength. Wars cost money. The US has the potential to fall shockingly hard and wind up like 1990's Russia.

[Do I detect a strong note of hope in your voice?]

Will. it reads like an outline for a book, in my opinion...The premise being so large that it is difficult to read, and write I presume, but it seems like each paragraph could be a chapter.

[Difficult to read? That’s the UNDERSTATEMENT of the year.]

The truth of the radical Right's power over the past 20-some years is that it has very little order, and that which it takes has alarmingly medieval origins. The Cold War was, to them, a last run at the Asian Menace of Huns and Mongols and Avars and Turks. The 'War on Terror' is just a last run at the problems that led to Tours And Poitiers and the Crusades. The 'War on Drugs' is another argument with hostile Indian tribes. And somewhere between all of that, there's some foggy ideal of England circa 1600 as a way to run the United States in perpetuity. It's the Middle Ages being given one last run. One last evasion of Modernity.

[It’s nice to know that Pied Piper Pitt isn’t the only one with expertise in slapdash non-history.]

Some of the syntax is pretty strained. The metaphors seemed forced in places. And the tone varies between would-be epic, straight historical, and mildly colloquial.

[You left out wildly overblown Tinfoil Hat conspiricist slapdash non-history with more than a strong touch of bloated self-importance.]

t started as an outline, staggered into becoming an essay, and collapsed under its own weight about six paragraphs before I finally put a bullet in its head. I wanted to get some feedback on the skeleton here, and yours is exactly what I'd hope for. I'm going to attack it again in the morning.

[Are you SURE you’re not a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL, Pitt? You post a hodepodge of conspiracy theories that make than no sense and then you ask the DUmmies to make complete fools of themselves by commenting on it seriously. Confess, Pitt, because your shtick in making the DUmmies into even more of the laughlingstocks than they already are.]

BTW: aren't we lucky to get first dibs on will's excellent articles, wooHoo!

[WOO! HOO! We have FIRST DIBS at Pitt’s nonsense. WOO! HOO!]

Hello from Germany to Mr. Pitt! I remember reading an interview with you in a (small) German daily just about a few month ago, that's how popular Mr. Pitt is around the globe!

[The German’s must LOVE, Pitt. See, by pronouncing the Third American Reich, oops, I mean Third American Empire, as the focus of EVIL in the world, it takes the heat off a certain Third Reich.]

There is not enough emphasis the blowback perspective of 9/11. September 11 as the inevitable consequence of 50 years of US foreign policy based on the principle that my enemy's enemy is my friend, that bred Saddam, OBL among other notorious characters. September 11 as part of the price the US had to pay to win the cold war.

[Send my regards to your professor, Ward Churchill.]

From a historic persepective, our times remind me of the rise of Nazi Germany behind the vaunted Panzer Army that struck terror in the hearts of Europeans until Zhukov turned back the tide on the outskirts of Moscow and Chuikov demolished the Sixth Army in Stalingrad.I do believe that our fall will come from an unexpected corner most likely from knowledgeable people with the least resources.

[Third American Empire = Third Reich. I GET IT! I GET IT!]

The forth empire is what you should funnel it into. I will buy your book because it will offer questions and not easy answers.The easy answers may be the downfall of humanity. The technology is here for us to use or have it use us.

[Will Pitt’s book include a CD-ROM insert for the color comix stories?]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-25-05 ("BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!")

William Rivers Pitt has pulled out his magic flute and is fooling the DUmmies once again with his election fraud tune. If this sounds like Déjà vu all over again, it is because Pied Piper Pitt has played this same tune many times before in order to puff himself up with his manufactured self-importance with yet another election “scoop” that means less than nothing. The only thing that makes this latest self-puffery slightly more amusing than the rest is that it is being played by Pied Piper Pitt over a month AFTER the inauguration. You can hear Pied Piper’s Pitt’s latest tune being played for your amusement on this DUmmie THREAD breathlessly titled, “BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!” So what’s all the hoopla really about? YAWN! Nothing more than some obscure legal motion where a couple of the minor league candidates filed a statement on something called a legal transfer and, OH YEAH, Kerry-Edwards (actually their lawyers) filed a document in support of that statement. If you want to pop some No-Doze and read it for yourself you can find it on Pied Piper Pitt’s appropriately named (because all the Truth is outta there) TRUTHOUT website. As usual the DUmmie rantings and Pied Piper Pitt’s flutings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, struggling to stay awake after being tranquilized by the obscure meaningless legal motions, is in the [brackets]:

BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions. The documents have been posted.

[YAWN! Been there. Done that. The only thing even slightly amusing about your recycled act this time, Pied Piper Pitt, is the timing since this “revelation” comes over a month AFTER inauguration.]

Great news. Thanks. I'm going to check it out.

[And don’t forget to take a strong dose of No-Doze. This latest “revelation” by Pied Piper Pitt is like that famous description of Oakland---There’s no there there.]

Hmmm..what do you make of this Will? Seems too little too late, yet why would Kerry have not been pushing harder earlier?

[A little too late? Now why would you have that wild idea?]

john & john said every vote would be counted... on 11/3 & several times after that, so they are making good on their promise. doesn't it make your heart swell in pride that our man never quits, says what he'll do and then does what he says.

[SNIFF! I’ve got a lump in my throat. This obscure legal motion filed by nameless lawyers is going to CHANGE the future course of world events.]

Kerry has been awfully quiet lately. I was just thinking that.

[Don’t you get it? It’s all part of the PLAN. Two years before the election, Kerry PLANNED to lose the election and allow Bush to be inaugurated. Then over a month after the inauguration, it was PLANNED that some of his lawyers would file a minor legal motion in Ohio that would OVERTURN the election. De PLAN, boss, De PLAN!!!]

It was always going to come down to evidence. That is how he worked as a prosecutor to prevent going to court and losing. If he didn't have a preponderance of the evidence he wouldn't have his office prosecute cases needlessly. Whatever comes of this now will be for the good of the country, even though it may not work to Kerry's personal benefit. This is also why they held on to some of the campaign funds.

[Yeah, that 15 million buck campaign fund that wasn’t spent on the campaign was set aside specifically for the purpose of filing a meaningless obscure legal statement in support of someone else’s equally meaningless and obscure legal motion in Ohio.]

This may all work out in the end. Now Shrub's cabinet nominees all lied under oath. And if one card in this house of cards gets taken down by the courts, so go the rest. I really was quite disappointed with Kerry lately, but now I see perhaps he was proceeding cautiously all along. Though I promise not to get too hopeful yet...

[Not me! I’ve broken out the champagne and plan an all night victory party for Kerry. I BELIEEEEEVE!!!]

He has a pattern of sticking with something, for years if he has to. He's still on the BCCI case after all these years, as the people who lost money in that bank take it to court, blasting the Bank of England for not doing more to help those people. It may not be a fast-moving process, but I think we will see these little reports from time to time to let us know he's still on the case. Maybe something will eventually happen, maybe not. I understand your caution, but I can't help but think that they pissed off the wrong fellow. It will be the end of them yet.

[It may not be a fast moving process but the election results will DEFINITELY be overturned in the year 2525…..IF man is still alive.]

I'm PLEASED!! Let's keep the election fraud on the front burner!

[Everybody! KICK this thread. FORM ELECTION FRAUD COMMITTEES! SEND A LEGAL TEAM TO OHIO! INVESTIGATE ALL OBSCURE MEANINGLESS ELECTION DOCUMENTS! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!]

THE DOCUMENTS HAVE BEEN POSTED

[Thank you, Pied Piper Pitt. I’ve seen them and I am struggling to stay awake.]

Will, about six weeks ago you said things would start brewing in six weeks.

[Six weeks is about the right time frame for Pied Piper Pitt to recycle his old comedy routines. He knows the DUmmies have very short memory spans.]

Thanks Will! This is great news. I was hoping my esteemed junior Senator would keep at it. I'm glad he hasn't given up, even though it will not benefit him personally. (And will be seen as too little too late by many folks, alas.)

[Too little, too late? Where did you get such a crazy idea? These obscure legal motions in Ohio means that we are at the DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS!!!]

And what's the status of the Alliance For Democracy? I know they are getting screwed by a countersuit, but are we to believe they're done? I feel bad for Cliff and all of them, but I wonder if they're still planning to file another suit somewhere. I remember when they withdrew Moss V Bush they promised they were going to continue to collect evidence and file again somewhere else.

[Unfortunately that case gathered too much Moss.]

This is great news. I KNEW that they would keep fighting. They are both OUTSTANDING attorneys.

[May I interest you in the purchase of a certain bridge in Brooklyn?]

I'm telling you, Bushco are NOT going to serve out their term. About 4 major psychics have said so. One in particular, I remember, said that by 2006, Bush would have NO connection with Power.

[FOUR MAJOR PSYCHICS have said this? Well, you just CAN’T argue with that type of expertise.]

I still contend it IS Kerry's destiny to be President (and NOT as late as 2008). How we'll ever get this through the Repug-controlled court system will be a major miracle in itself, but....forever the optimist...fingers crossed!

[I BELIEEEEEEVE!!!]

YoooWhoooo! Thanks Will. Come on Howard fight for the truth!! TALK TO THE HOUSE JUDICIARY DEMS, THEY ARE A CLEARINGHOUSE FOR FRAUD EVIDENCE! Please don't do this to "stifle the left", we've put our time, money, heart and soul into this investigation. We need a leader to take this forward!!!! Great news! Fight on DEMS!

[CREATE YOUR OWN VIRTUAL REALITY!!!]

This spark should keep the fire going. Now let's keep fanning the fire.

[ENTER THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!!]

Edwards would not be still digging if he didn't think he had a case! Thanks Will. I do not believe knowing lawyers, and Edwards winning background they'd be doing this "still" less they had something.

[CHANT THE “ELECTION FRAUD” MANTRA!!!]

don't forget that John Kerry is a lawyer, too. He was a prosecutor and tried 7,000+ cases and won them all as Asst. D.A. If anyone can bring this fraud to light, it's these two sharp guys and their team!

[CONSULT MOTHER GOOSE FOR OUR OWN ALTERNATE REALITY!!!]

I can't f'ing believe it! This is GREAT!!!!

[SHOOT OFF THE VICTORY FIREWORKS!!!]

There has been WAY ample time for the crooks to compromise the programming of the previously compromised central tabulators and voting machines. And just think of all the paper ballots that have surely been "audited" by republican activist thugs. I am VERY glad that the 2-Johns are in on this, but it seems to me the forensic evidence is getting away, or has already gotten away. I'm also curious as to what's still happening in all of the other states that bush stole with his slimey army of thugs.

[KILLJOY! And for splashing cold water on our very solid hopes, you will NOT be invited to Kerry’s Alternate Reality Inauguration party.]

Well, I'll be damned! YIPPEE!!! Thanks for the lift...

[Don’t forget to copy and paste that statement into Notepad so you can use it again and again and again for the many other times that Pied Piper Pitt posts the VERY LATEST “scoops” about obscure Ohio legal motions being filed.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-24-05 ("Clueless about women, part deux")

Ladies and gentleman, presenting the silver-tongued prince of Dummieland, the one and only----steve2470! Yes, he is back with his dating tales of woe and is here to entertain us with Chapter 2 of his comedy book, “Dating for DUmmies” in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Clueless about women, part deux.” I understand that some of you think it is a bit cruel to feature steve2470’s dating non-adventures but nobody is forcing this DUmmie to post his tales of dating woe on the Web. Not only that, steve2470 has already promised to publicly post the “dirty details” of his second date if it ever comes to fruition. So please, no lectures about cruelty. The COMEDY of this situation overwhelms those “cruelty” qualms. The DUmmie dating comedy routine is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, laughing from his front row seat, is in the [brackets]:

Ok, at the risk of becoming freeper-fodder again, here goes. Got the 2nd date. It hasn't been scheduled yet, but probably next weekend due to kids and work schedules. So far, so good.

[Don’t complain about being freeper fodder again. You got the Funniest shtick going on the Web. Your dating material is comedy GOLD. Anyway, you led off with that HILARIOUS line about getting your second date. Then quickly segued into how it hasn’t even been scheduled yet and then leave us laughing in the aisles that it “probably” might happen next weekend. Yeah, that second date is a SURE thing…..or maybe not.]

The problem now: feeling intimidated and insecure. Why?

[Turning yourself into the laughingstock of the Web might have a little to do with it, steve2470.]

Logically, I should feel ok about myself and not be intimidated or insecure. Whoever said logic ran the human mind ? She's drop-dead gorgeous and can get anyone she wants, including rich guys.

[Including a certain Freeper with a probable lucrative book contract that hasn’t been scheduled yet?]

So why in the hell should she want to spend time with me, who is non-rich, non-macho, a bit on the quiet and shy side ?

[You left out nerdy and unwashed.]

Do the drop-dead gorgeous females usually get past that money and success and power thing ? This is just my perception from past experience. Your input please, ladies. Thank you in advance for your time.

[Some do get past that money and success and power thing but have a bit of trouble accepting the fact that you brownbag it to your date on a bicycle wearing old hip-hop shorts.]

Women LIKE quiet and shy. Men are all screwed up about that. No self-respecting woman loves money/power/success more than a man who pays attention to her and listens to her. I guarantee you you're thinking more about money than she is.

[Women think quiet and shy guys are NERDS. Didn’t you watch the flick Picnic? William Holden got into Kim Novak’s pants by being gregarious and funny. That nerdy Nick Adams character on a bicycle was more steve2470’s style.]

She obviously sees something there--don't try to talk yourself out of your good fortune!

[And quit staring at her hooters while drooling down your shirt.]

tis good to know this. perhaps i've been around the wrong crowd, probably all repukes lol

[Most likely that woman in the second date you won’t be getting is a “repuke.” After the DUFU book is published, I plan to find her and take her out to a steakhouse. Later that evening in my hotel suite, we will look at this chapter of the DUmmie FUnnies and LAUGH at your foibles.]

all the rich macho ultra-extroverts care about is how she looks good on their arm. You on the other hand will likely listen to what she says, care about what she thinks, worry about how she feels, and hopefully make her laugh.

[I don't care about expensive things
Cashmere coats, diamond rings
Don't mean a thing
All I care bout is love!]

She's probably just looking for a nice guy. There are more important things than money and power - and maybe she's dated enough jerks to realize that. So relax and be yourself.

[I don't care for wearin' silk cravats
Ruby studs, satin spats
Don't mean a thing
All I care bout is love!]

oh yeah, a little more info: she's 45, has two young kids, the father of the kids was abusive to them and is now barred from seeing them, and she's been married 3 times, as I have. I'm sure she's had 1000's of men interested and hundreds of dates. She's also in my same business.

[Gimme two eyes of blue
Softly saying "I need you"
Let me see her standin' there
And honest mister, I'm a millionaire!]


A friend of mine is a former supermodel her boyfriend of the past ten years is unattractive and makes about 1/5 what my friend does (and he's not a terribly interesting guy, imho), but she loves him anyway. True attraction-and love-is blind.

[I don't care for any fine attire
Vanderbuilt might admire
No, no, not me
All I care about is love...]

Relax, Steve! She is probably happy to have found somebody who she can talk to who doesn't immediately try to take her panties off. Honestly, some men act like creeps and think they are cool, and she's surprised to find a guy who's not an asshole. She wouldn't go on a second date if she thought you were a jerk. Your best bet is to be yourself, because she obviously likes you as yourself. If she was attracted to the shallow macho blusterers, she wouldn't be dating you. Her life has probably been filled with rich, good-looking OBNOXIOUSLY SELF-INVOLVED guys, and she's tired of them. So, good heavens, go out and enjoy some time with the nice lady!

[Show me long raven hair
Flowin' down, about to there
And when I see her runnin' free
Keep your money, that's enough for me!]

My biggest problem with her is I'm not great at small talk. When's there's those pregnant pauses, I'm going eeek inside. OMG, she thinks I'm boring. Talk about negative self-talk.

[It may sound odd
But all I care about is love
Honest to god
All I care about is love!]

Comfortable silence....not pregnant pauses, LOL. It's impossible to talk every single second and sometimes it can be rough, all that quiet (just had that tonight at a meeting) especially if you're just getting to know each other... but try thinking of it as a comfortable silence.

[Maybe steve2470 could lighten up the deadly dull mood by lecturing her about Republicans stealing the election or how Karl Rove planted the forged Texas Air National Guard documents.]

You could always fall back on talking about her kids. Most moms like to talk about her kids. If you feel comfy enough to do it, you could ask about them.

[“Why did your kids stick their fingers down their throats and make gagging sounds when they saw me?”]

Shyness is fine. I can do shyness without a problem... most people are patient with a shy person since they tend to often be a really great "diamond in the rough," so to speak.

[Asking your date to rub skin cream on you when you break out in nervous hives is sure to be a great mood setter.]

I just don't have a degree in small talk lol , once the ice is broken, i'm fine. It's just the insecurity that I WILL overcome.

[Talk to her about laundry lint and static cling. Those topics are sure to put her in a romantic mood.]

It's nerve-wracking for even the most social of us ....I empathize with you... as does my husband, who is presently nodding his head in agreement

[Downing a $200 bottle of Brandy usually gets you over the nerve-wracking hump.]

it's a weird thing, the ones that come like gangbusters are all annoying and creepy to me. i have had so many jerks bother me over the years,and a lot are worse than fools-- men who get angry and bark and what not because you refuse to have a drink with them. you get the feeling that they act up all the time, yeah, it's nice to talk to a normal quiet guy. charming okay, but blowhards, no.

[I would get angry and bark because a DUmmie like you comes near me when I am trying to enjoy a quiet drink.]

Rarely is there a happy medium of a man who can nicely assert himself. It seem to be either creeps who step over the line into the sexual harrassment zone or the guy who's so shy, I have to practically hit him over the head to say, "YES, I REALLY LIKE YOU!" before he gets it.

[I think he gets it at the part when you pull down his zipper.]

My love life history is freaky. And makes me sad.

[Methinks that your love life history is also SCARY, DUmmie SarahBelle.]

Have a few drinks beforehand! Just make sure you throw her the keys and cordially explain why you aren't driving.

[No problem. Steve2470 didn’t drive her on the first date. Remember, she drove herself home after telling him that obviously phony “cold sore” story.]

just don't be all anxious or needy, okay?

[Be subtle. At the end of you date, get down on both knees and beg, “PUH-LEAAAAAASE!!!”]

we have known each other, more off than on, for 15 years. We are in the same business in a small circle locally. She definitely feels very safe and comfortable with me. She has told me things in one date and conversations on the phone that 1) she would never tell most people and 2)if she did, she would have to get to know them pretty well.

[She told you that she is a She-Male?]

Right now I'd gush all over her and embarass the shit out of myself lol

[Please limit yourself to just drooling all over her.]

I don't know about "drop dead gorgeous", but I'm a fairly decent looking woman (one might say somewhat "built") who probably looks even younger than my age. However, I have lived a lot of life and have a lot of life experiences for someone my age. I could probably be arm candy to some rich dude, but that's not who I am. I want someone on the same wavelength as me.

[Let me guess: You’re the crying chick holding the sign in the famous photo about the “stolen election” and the guy who is on the same wavelength as you is the weird dude sitting on the curb holding another dopey sign.]

I would not dare to call myself gorgeous, but I will tell you that I have never been drawn to the typical definition of an attractive man. Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, etc--boring.

[Don’t worry about Tom Cruise. He didn’t even put the make on his own hot wife, Mimi Rogers. He told her that he needed to keep his “tool pure.”]

I'm hotter than hell (I've had enough alcohol ealier in the evening that I can actually be honest about that...usually I'm entirely too self-effacing) -- and I actually PREFER the shy ones.

[A hotter than hell DUmmie chick? You definitely have been drinking more than enough alcohol, DUmmie Technowitch.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-23-05 ("I make no bones about showing my disgust toward repukes")

We have yet more evidence of sabotage by Leftwing bookstore clerks in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “I make no bones about showing my disgust toward repukes.” Of course, we have heard of MANY incidents in the past where DUmmie type bookstore clerks sabotaged conservative books (such as those written by Rush Limbaugh) by either hiding them or turning their covers around. This DUmmie thread just shows how their absolute hate of conservatives causes these bookstore clerks to act in such an UNPROFESSIONAL manner. In fact, this DUmmie poster should be FIRED by his bookstore if he can ever be identified. I can just imagine the DUmmie bookstore clerks’ reactions when the DUmmie FUnnies book is published (with CD-ROM insert for the color comix). Their rage at being mocked will cause them to attempt all sorts of sabotage of the DUmmie FUnnies book. One GREAT benefit of buying a DUmmie FUnnies book is to see the look of absolute disgust and hate on the faces of the DUmmie bookstore clerks as they ring up the sale. My suggestion is to identify such clerks in advance so you know who to take the DUmmie FUnnies book to to ring it up. All we need now for this to happen is a call to me from Jeff Kleinman of the Graybill and English Literary Agency. All it takes is that one call and in the very near future you will see DUmmie bookstore clerks around the country experiencing the LIVING HELL of having to ring up the massive DUmmie FUnnies book sales. The DUmmie bookstore clerk rantings are in Bolshevik Red and the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking for a DUmmie bookstore clerk to ring up his DUmmie FUnnies book sale, is in the [brackets]:

I make no bones about showing my disgust toward repukes. So today at work, I start ringing up a herd of loud, obnoxious repukes (you can smell em a mile away.) They got stacks of kids books (no Sponge Bobs) and I handle those like any normal person would. Then I come to their stack of Bill O'Reilly books, Hannity books and a book about George Bush and each one I hold between my first finger and thumb, like they have poo poo all over them. The look on their mugs was priceless. They couldn't say anything, because I didn't say a word, but they got the message loud and clear. Then, I went into the kids section and placed Sponge Bob books in the kids bible section. Was I bad?

[More importantly, were you FIRED, DUmmie graywarrior?]

Everytime we go to a bookstore, I spend most of my time putting Michael Moore's and Al Franken's books on top of the repuke books. Sometimes I switch the dust jackets as well. I'm sorry that you have to clean that up.

[Sabotage not only by DUmmie bookstore clerks but by DUmmie bookstore customers as well.]

I am usually the one grabbing the O'Reilly book and saying (just loud enough for the person next to me who is looking at it) "What a piece of shit. And he wants to talk to my child about morals?" and then I walk away.

[I can’t wait to hear your GROANING when you see the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) in bookstores.]

I do that too! I'm an extra-large, extra-loud guy. No one ever confronts me, my wife sometimes gets embarassed though.

[Thank you for that self-description of yourself as a JERK.]

I have only had one man start to argue with me. I then announced "You're reading "The Touch That Pleases Best" and The Best of Stud Muffins In (fill in year) too? Aren't those great books! (all must be said in a very loud voice). They usually run away afterward.

[You need to run away to escape the beating you will be receiving.]

I just have fun with them. I may be short, but damn I have a mouth! F*ck 'em if they can't take a joke.

[Isn’t hard to laugh with those missing teeth?]

I did that with Anne Coulter's last book at the Salt Lake Airport. I switched the covers with Hillary's book. I did about ten of them right out in the open and didn't get caught.

[Thus causing the sales of Hillary books to skyrocket to a grand total of 10 in Salt Lake City. A record.]

That's one of the switches I made ! I would love to see the looks on the repuke faces when they sit down for a night of reading hate filled crap, only to find some,"hippy, commie" book instead !

[Note to everybody out there: When the DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for the color comix) appears on the book shelves, PLEASE check the inside in case the DUmmies try to sabotage it with their cover change routine.]

What about the people expecting to read HC´s book then?

[Not a problem. NOBODY is buying Hillary’s Lying History book. I’m NOT kidding. Hillary’s book was supposed to be the BEST SELLING non-fiction book of all time and yet how many times have you actually seen people reading it? Even more telling is a visit to any flea market. You will see tons of Stephen King or Tom Clancy books being sold there but NO Hillary books. WHY? Because there are virtually NO Hillary books in circulation that can be resold at flea markets. Almost all the Hillary books are sitting in warehouses where the labor unions and other organizations, wishing to make unofficial contributions to Hillary via buying her books, have stored them.]

I wouldn't shop there again. If I went to a store, and the people at the store did that to me, I would never shop there again. Simple as that. Doesn't matter that you didn't say anything. If you walked into a store and were buying a liberal book and the salesperson did that to you would you like it? Would you shop there again? I'm guessing that you wouldn't like it and that you would voice your opinion by not shopping at that store anymore. Plus, you would come on a message board like this and start a thread about how horrible repukes are and how bad you were treated by them.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Switching covers is most excellent. My boss sticks her finger down her throat in gag fashion when we encounter repuke books. I cannot hide my distain when some morAn purchases a Bush, O'Reilly or Hannity book. I'm equally dismayed when Barbara Bush books are purchased. What can she possibly have to write about besides abusing Boy George for 57 years. We carry lots of Lehane books too. I get creeped out by people who buy those. My normal chatty mood screeches to a sudden halt when those things end up on the counter. I like the sci-fi freaks. They're so intense and serious. We placed sci-fi books next to christian fiction...seemed appropriate.

[DUmmie bookstore clerk, graywarrior, clarifying his high professionalism.]

Anyone who takes this thread seriously is a tightass

[DUmmie graywarrior now desperately backtracking as he realizes he could be FIRED for his unprofessional manner. Too late, DUmmie graywarrior. You were the one who made the original post on this thread and you were COMPLETELY SERIOUS.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-22-05 ("America - Greatest Country in the World?")

The big mantra among the Leftists is that despite their criticism of American, they really do like this country. A quick perusal of this DUmmie THREAD gives lie to that assertion. The plain fact is that DUmmies DISDAIN America in a big way as you shall see here. As usual, the anti-American DUmmie blasts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

America - Greatest Country in the World? One thing I am mystified about quite often is the claim that America is the "best" country in the world. But how can a country that has so many problems claim to be the greatest?

[Do you think folks in North Korea wouldn’t love to trade problems with us? Same goes for just about every other country. But continue with your anti-American rant.]

Something I hear quite often, from Republicans, is that the US has the most freedom out of any country. But there are other countries where you are free to do things that are scorned in America, like Canada and the Netherlands.

[You like those countries so much then GO THERE. Just don’t come back.]

Also, the so-called greatest country is doing more damage to the world than any other. For one, you are creating more terrorists than eliminating them, and then there is the fact that the US is the world's greatest polluter.

[Continue your litany of hate for America.]

And then there is the people. I don't mean to criticize the people HERE, but specifically the people that are not aware of Bush's evil deeds. In my country, I believe 70+ percent of us would of voted for Kerry - and this would be the case in other countries too. But America is one of the few countries in the world where Bush would've won. I believe if America had a better education system, this would help have a more...intelligent populace, shall we say?

[And I bet the DUmmies would like to re-educate Americans to vote DUmmiecrat in future elections.]

Anyway, do you people here believe America is the greatest country in the world?

[Don’t expect much of anything in the away of an affirmative response in DUmmieland.]

No. And the BFEE is ensuring that we won't have anything to be proud of for decades.

[Don’t forget about the BFEE dumping arsenic in the well water.]

Honestly, Canada to me seems as close to ideal as any country right now.

[So head north and DON’T come back.]

Not by denying people civil rights for marriage. Not denying people the right to vote. Not by stealing elections. Not by lying about war. Not by using and abusing the military. Not by brainwashing. There's just too much now going on that makes us not the best country. Sure, there's a lot that I'm grateful for being here. I think if any country should claim the greatest country award it's Canada.

[So go to Canada and have a wonderful gay wedding.]

This isn't 1890....people aren't travelling across oceans to get here. I think you are kidding yourself if you think there are alot of people who dream of coming to America. Maybe in the 1800s when many of the European countries were poor, but not anymore. The only people who come to the United States are immigrants from Mexico/Central America who are looking for a job. They only go to to the US as a last resort. They can't afford a plane ticket anywhere else, so they have to travel by land and America just happens to one of the easiest developed countries to get to via land.

[All those illegal aliens really want to move to North Korea but since the airfare is too expensive they sneak in here as a lousy second choice.]

America is one of the worst countries in the world.

[If it’s so terrible why aren’t you LEAVING?]

We've got a World Series that only we play in...

[Discrimination!]

In this country people live into their 80s, 90s and even their 100s. Our military is the most powerful in the world and as far as I can tell I have the freedom to say and do whatever I want.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I've shied away from calling myself an American the last two years or so. I'm too ashamed of the label. Now, I just call myself a New Yorker. I used to think only our corporate elites were vile, but recently I've begun wondering about our people, too. Some rightwing lurkers here might read a post like mine and have their blood boil, but they are pretty angry and hateful about life in general, anyway, and I really don't care what they think, regardless.

[On the plus side you’ve been featured in the Dummie FUnnies as a typical anti-American DUmmie.]

In fact, the New Amerika doesn't even technically belong to the Free World, that's how far we've fallen.

[Thus spaketh Dummie tom_paine. And I wonder if this is the son of Bill Moyers who runs the Tom Paine website.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-22-05 ("Twisted yellow ribbon magnets on cars means...")

Apparently the way to ruin a DUmmies day is for him to see one of those yellow magnetic ribbons supporting our troops on cars. You can see the DUmmie outrage over this at this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Twisted yellow ribbon magnets on cars means...‘I support the Republican/Bu$h/NeoCON agenda and all you anti-war, liberal, commie motherf*ckers can rot in hell. Praise the lord.’” As usual, DUmmie Road Rage over those magnetic ribbons is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Twisted yellow ribbon magnets on cars means..."I support the Republican/Bu$h/NeoCON agenda and all you anti-war, liberal, commie motherf*ckers can rot in hell. Praise the lord."

[Actually it means, “I support the Troops and all you angry DUmmies can stew in your own bile in Dummieland.”]

the wingnuts have developed a unique "fetish" for them. However, many of us also know what it's "supposed" to stand for. I can see the confusion, with Tony Orlando wrapping one around an oak tree or something. Isn't he a repug?

[He could be a “repug” or, even worse, a Freeper.]

A friend stole one and put it on my car. He put it right above the "When Clinton lied, nobody died" sticker, and next to my Veteran for Kerry Sticker.

[I would have loved to have seen the expression on your face when you saw that ribbon on your car.]

In my neck of the woods (45min outside Phila), those magnets are overwhelmingly on SUVs and redneck v8 trucks. Now, how are you supporting the troops when you're funding terrorism by sucking up petroleum?

[The Iraqi oil fields NO LONGER belong to the terrorists. That’s how.]

There are the yellow ones and then there are the red, white, and blue ones. My guess is, at least around here (NY), the yellow means support our troops and BRING THEM HOME. The red, white and blue are the * supporters.

[The red, white, and blue ones are like the yellow ones on steroids.]

i got so sick of seeing them with the little fishys on the cars

[A lethal combo to your mental health.]

Would it get me off the hook a bit if I explain that I live in San Diego county and all I see these ribbons on are god awful SUV's and construction trucks full of rednecks?

[Full of rednecks working hard for a living. Completely at odds with the typical basement dwelling DUmmie.]

I Just Got Back From A Visit To San Diego How F*cking Depressing. The weather was gorgeous but that was the ONLY thing besides my children that I enjoyed. What a zombie town full of Rednecks and Stepfords. I was f*cking shocked I grew up in PB went to San Diego state and lived in Del Mar for years....WTF happened? Don't answer I know what happened......MONEY and GENTRIFICATION. It is a ruined city IMHO. And I know exactly what you mean about those asinine ribbons. BLEEECH!

[Amazing! Somebody’s trip is ruined by a few metallic stickers. Of course, we are talking about a DUmmie here so the scenario is entirely plausible.]

My car's got plenty of stuff in the back window: "Religious fundamentalism: a threat abroad; a threat at home" and "Your kid is next" with Bush giving a knowing look, and "Why do conservatives hate so many Americans?" and "Flag, schmag! I (heart) the Constitution!" and a great one that's a takeoff on a popular redneck theme: Calvin pissing on a Bush campaign logo. But I am not one who finds identity through my choice of vehicle; I've got an old junker so folks can key away.

[Once in awhile I see cars with similar stickers and I always have to get a look at the drivers to see just what losers they are. Usually they look very angry and completely disheveled. It’s the DUmmie look.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-21-05 ("Clueless about women, please help me out")

I’ve always figured that most DUmmies were socially awkward rejects and this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Clueless about women, please help me out,” only confirms that view. What is truly frightening is that the way DUmmie steve2470 describes himself, it sounds like he is well over 30 years old. UNBELIEVABLE! This isn’t even some gawky 15 year old kid. It is a DUmmie in his 30s who still hasn’t got a clue how to act around women because he just went on his FIRST DATE. Just this description alone is making me laugh. So let us read on about the Socially Awkward DUmmie and the dating advice he received. As usual the socially maladjusted DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red and the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that DUmmie steve2470 would make an HILARIOUS guest on Jerry Springer, is in the [brackets]:

hi ladies,

I had a first date Friday night with a very beautiful and nice lady who I have known off and on for 15 years. I thought we had a very nice time. We went to a very chic restaurant in my town that is somewhat romantic and had a nice dinner. The conversation and dinner went on for about 3 hours. I left it up to her to let me know when she had to leave, since I was flexible. At about 10:15 PM, she said she needed to get home to her babysitter for her 4 and 5 year old sons. The babysitter was a first time person, a rookie with her kids.

[Get a clue, DUmmie steve2470. This woman is giving you the BRUSHOFF. Most likely she just wanted a freebie meal and since you are so socially awkward she gave you a mercy date. And speaking of rookies, did you ever….uh, never mind.]

When I escorted her out to the valet parking area, we chatted for a few minutes until her car came up. She then hugged me (with no prompting from me) and told me she would kiss me except she had a cold sore on her mouth. As she was walking to her car, I told her that I would call her and she said "I'd like that" or words to that effect. Bear in mind, this lady is pretty assertive and perfectly capable of telling me politely that this was the last date and that we could be friends.

I think I have a second date coming. Am I way off base ?

[ABSOLUTELY! Since you are a rookie with women I need to inform you that this story shows all the classic signs that you got shot down. Oh, and she found you so repugnant that she made up that cold sore story so you would feel happy about not catching herpes.]

sounds to me like you do unless she is into playing mind games.

[Believe me. She was playing mind games. She had to. This woman was probably too polite to tell DUmmie steve2470 that he absolutely REVOLTED her. Hey, when you are in your 30s and haven’t had a date yet, you KNOW there HAS to be something WRONG with this dude.]

call her!! How many days has it been (not that it matters)? But seriously, just call and ask her out again! We women HATE waiting...

[So why don’t YOU call Dummie steve 2470 and go out with him? Yeah, he will revolt you too but since you are both revolting DUmmies the mutual revulsion could cancel each other out.]

I called her tonight and left a very nice message...

["Need sex NOW!!! PUHLEEEEAASE!!!"]

I didn't want to appear overeager, so I didn't call yesterday. She has to call me back now.

[Keep waiting. She is bound to call you by the end of the third decade of this century.]

I hope she calls back- it sounds like you had a fun time!

[I think the date began to go downhill the moment DUmmie steve 2470 asked his date if foreplay comes before or after sex.]

thank you so much....you folks are wonderful....I just can't stand not knowing LOL Oh well, life goes on..

[If life goes on, then you might consider removing your face from the outside of your ex-date’s bedroom window.]

You didn't ask for that second date via the machine did you?

[Maybe their answering machines could date each other.]

nooooooooooo............Just reiterated that I had a great time...and just asked her to call me back, that was it.

[I can almost sympathize with DUmmie steve2470, only in my case I am waiting for Jeff Kleinman of the Graybill and English Literacy Agency to call me up. Good luck DUmmie steve2470 but I think I’ll hear from Jeff Kleinman LONG before you ever get a callback from your ex-date.]

Today made 48 hours. 24 seemed too fast to me

[Give it another 48 million hours.]

Sounds like a good sign to me.

[Some woman gets out of kissing DUmmie steve2470 by giving him a bogus story about a cold sore and then doesn’t return his phone call. Yeah, a great sign. I once had a woman flat out slam a door in my face and I consider even that to be a more hopeful sign.]

I think you are in store for a 2nd date. Do you have any ideas on what to do for a 2nd date? Did she give you any clues as to what she likes to do?

[DUmmie steve2470 wants to hold a vigil in the snow outside John Kerry’s townhouse. His ex-date just want to avoid him.]

art museums and parks are good places. Places to walk and talk...plus if you get hungry or want coffee, you can easily modify plans.

[True story: I went out with a woman that drank way too much in a very annoying way (polite way of saying sloppy drunk). So I called my friend, Pete Demeo, who NEVER drinks and told him I had a hot date for him, RIGHT NOW. He came over and took the drunken woman off my hands. Next day I asked Pete what happened. He disgustedly told me that she asked him to buy her a case of beer. Then they went late at night near an airport where she climbed up a tree and Pete had to spend the entire night handing beer cans up to her as she tossed down one empty beer can after another. I won’t tell you what she also tossed down in liquid form to spare you the gruesome details. Oh, sorry for the brief digression… Let us now return to the romantic neophyte, Dummie steve2470.]

good ideas ! I will consider those and sound her out

[And keep in mind about modifying your plans so get a list of all the cheap motels in the area. However, with your track record, I think you will do no better than shacking up with a blowup doll.]

looks to me like you get a second date!!!

[I BELIEVE!!! And John Kerry WILL be inaugurated on Jan. 20.]

thanks Barb ! I'll censor it to be PG-13 LOL no, I'm sure it will be PG-13 because I really really like her and am not at all into the sexual thing at this moment.

[Let me guess. Paris Hilton is NOT currently in your Little Black Book.]

anyone who spends their precious time on me deserves a good summary, and that includes you

[Do what most guys do who DON’T score on their dates---LIE LIKE HELL.]

just keep a twinkle in your eye and keep feeling good about yourself ( and then just remember, DETAILS, lots of 'em)

[This advice from DUmmie barb162. Meanwhile the few guys who are deluded into dating her describe their dates thusly: “BAAAAAARRRFFFFF!!!”]

thanks ! Details no problem, I'm just trying not to be insecure or intimidated by her beauty. She is.... well...you know. She must like me because she can have her pick of men.

[SHEESH! You have just gone on your first date where you got shot down and already you are acting like Mr. Lothario about giving us the dirty details of your second date which won’t be happening.]

well yes, she must. She wouldn't have spent that long with you if she didn't like you; she would have found a way to cut it short. I know what you mean about people who are really physically attractive...it is hard not to just keep staring at them

[Do you have some problem with your reading skills? Didn’t you read what DUmmie steve2470 wrote about his first date? She DID cut it short with that phony story about the cold sore. However, I know what you mean about very physically attractive chicks like Petra Verkaik. I would have a hard time to keep from staring at “them.”]

yeah I really had to watch my eyes on the date LOL I was nervous enough as it was. You folks are wonderful for this feedback. I've been thinking about her all weekend and a bit worried, as well.

[Congratulations on successfully averting your eyes. However, you might want to try working on not constantly grabbing your Pocket Rocket while out on a date.]

give her another call soon whether she calls you back or not. Things happen with a mom of young kids, like kids erase messages all the time.

[Or the mother erasing the memory of the date from her mind.]

yes good idea. I'm pretty sure she will call back soon, probably tomorrow some time. I went out on a limb and gave her my office phone number as well. So, we'll see. The only thing that made me really unsure about the date is that we got into the spirituality discussion. She is a bit more "Christian" than I am, but there were no arguments or harsh words or anything. I reassured her that she was ok with me.

[Seeing as how you are a worshipper of Satan, even an agnostic would be a bit more “Christian” than you. Don’t worry, however, it isn’t religious differences keeping you apart. It’s more like a matter that you haven’t bathed since Election Day.]


You'll be fine....she'll probably try to convert you

[I once considered going out with a Jehovah’s Witness chick but somehow being cursed out in the early weekend AM while knocking on strangers' doors’ isn’t exactly my idea of a fun date.]

LOL well....maybe. I was pretty clear, in a pleasant way, about who I am. I think she's too smart to try the conversion thing. Hell, at this point, I'm just worried about the 2nd date LOL We have so much in common. We'd be a great couple, as long as religion, etc. didn't get in the way.

[If you can get over your body odor problem I can see marriage on the horizon.]

Have a great second date!

[May it be as disastrous as the first date!]

thank you so much, she is (at this point) the woman of my dreams: very intelligent, well educated, nice, good morals, in my profession, a Farrah Fawcett look a like....I could ramble on..

[Farrah Fawcett looks pre or post Ryan O’Neal?]

this gives me hope. I haven't had a second date for over 8 years.

[Maybe because you haven’t had a first date for over 12 years.]

Alright, I'm a guy and quite clueless about women myself, but I have to say: if I had a date that went as well as the one you had sounds like it went I don't think I'd be feeling uncertainty at all!

[If I had a dating experience like the one DUmmie steve2470 had, I would definitely consider saying, “Goodbye, cruel world!”]

thanks ! I have this tendency to think women are just being nice to me because they don't want to hurt my feelings... Maybe I need to lose that tendency.

[At the same time you acquire at least minimal social skills. Oh yeah, and don’t forget to try bathing.]

I think that you might have a second date. I am a single mother. You get worried about your kids, even when you are enjoying yourself.
Besides, if she didn't enjoy herself she would have pulled the "I have to use the restroom" stunt.
Go to the restroom, message your standby girlfriend, go back to the table. In five minutes she calls you, pretends to be the babysitter, and says the kids are sick. She didn't do that. I think that you are safe.

[Instead she used the old “I have a cold sore on my lip” stunt.]

call her! sounds like you have a second date.

[Yeah. She hasn’t replied to DUmmie Steve 2470’s phone message so that MUST be grounds for optimism.]


CALL HER.... And arrange that second date. She wants you to be the Man, and to treat her as though you're interested... then BE interested. Us women who are always in control, running the show, doing it ALL sometimes want a man to be a man, and to take control, to take charge, to set the time, make the arrangements. We like trusting a man enough to do that.

[Break her door down and DEMAND that second date. Show her that even though you are clueless about women that you are taking control! Oh, and you might consider having a Reality Show hidden camera taping all this. It could be the comedy hit of the TV season.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-21-05 ("Please, Senator Clinton, call them 'Freedom Fighters'...")

Hillary Clinton has a reputation for political savvy that is much overrated. Case in point. Her much ballyhooed massive program for federalizing via sneaky means the entire health care insurance system. Not only was this scheme promulgated in secret with little or no input from health care providers or the insurance industry but the program was presented on a take it or leave it basis. Hillary INSISTED that every last little detail of this proposal be accepted. That was the deal killer (fortunately). Had she compromised (as is NORMAL for all legislation) her massive scheme might have passed. Instead, due to her LACK of political savvy, this Hillary Health Care Proposal was shot down by Congress and a few weeks later led to the Democrats losing both houses of Congress in the historic 1994 Congressional elections. Again, Hillary seems to have a tin ear as she schemes to win the White House in 2008. She is positioning herself as a “Centrist” in the belief that position would make it easiest for her to win in 2008. The problem is that before winning the general election, Hillary must please the Democrat Party loonies, of which the DUmmies are very representative. So how are her Demcrat gatekeepers regarding the latest Hillary move to “support” (in quotes because it is a strictly tactical move on her part) the Administration’s policies in Iraq? To answer that question, just read this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Please, Senator Clinton, call them ‘Freedom Fighters’...” When you have the keepers of the Keys to the Democrat Kingdom insisting on calling the Iraqi terrorists, “Freedom Fighters,” there is no way you can get the nomination by “supporting” the Administration's Iraq policy. As usual the far out DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the Hillary maneuverings and DUmmie reactions, from the her old War Room bunker, is in the [brackets]:

Please, Senator Clinton, call them "Freedom Fighters"...They're not "Iraqi insurgents," they're citizens fighting for their home and country. They're "Freedom Fighters."

[Please, Senator Clinton, call murdering thugs like Zarqawi “Freedom Fighters.” It is so impolite to call them “Iraqi Insurgents.”]

Do you really think calling people who shoot at U.S. troops "freedom fighters" is good way to win the hearts and minds of the American electorate?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I, for one, would look for something halfway between "terrorists" and "insurgents" on the one hand and " freedom fighters" on the other. How about "resistance"?

[You are to be complimented on your efforts to find a non-offensive term to call the terrorist thugs.]

I think most journalists are opting for "resistance" these days b/c it's basically neutral, factually accurate, and it helps to encompass the broad array of anti-Coalition Iraqi fighters-- some of whom probably are bona fide terrorist outfits (e.g. al-Qaeda) and others that are more like nationalist groups fighting what they perceive to be a foreign invasion force. "Resistance" is the best term to use in description here.

[So if they are terrorists why the reluctance to call them….terrorists? What next? Is Charles Manson to be labeled a member of the “Resistance?”]


i could give a rat's ass about the American electorate...my sympathies lie with the people of the world, who have to withstand the idiocy of the American public and the governments/militaries they allow to exist. And yes, Iraqi insurgents are freedom fighters...

[You obviously could give a rat’s ass about if the Democrats will ever win power back again? With your attitude, which is prevalent among the DUmmiecrats, they WON’T. Oh, and Hillary can kiss ’08 goodbye.]

I don't think think the media should call them "terrorists" like many conservatives demand (altough suicide bombers are terrorists), but they sure as hell aren't freedom fighters. Insurgents is just fine.

[Actually terrorists is just fine AND accurate.]


"Resistance" is better. Even "loyalists" is better.

[DUmmies arguing about which word will be the best nicey-nice description of the terrorists.]

Insurgent is NOT just fine. They are freedom fighters insofar that they fight for the freedom of Iraq from U.S. occupation.

[Apparently “Insurgent” isn’t a nicey-nice enough of a description for you.]

And you don't win verbal wars by calling people who are murdering American soldiers and innocent Iraqis "freedom fighters." These people would like to reinstall a theocratic dictatorship that would not be remotely free. I'm sorry if I sound like Bush, but they really are opponents of democracy. And they are killing Iraqis who would like to be part of the new Iraqi Army.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! (And that slight slam against Bush doesn't fool me.)]

Ba'athists were not Islamic extremists. In fact Saddam's Regime was quite secular and women had quite a bit of freedom.

[You’re bringing tears to my eyes with that bit of Saddam nostalgia…. Those were the days my friend. We thought the torture would never end. La la la LA la la…]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-18-05 ("Alaska Airlines now giving out prayers with dinner")

If you want to know one big reason why Democrats keep losing elections, this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Alaska Airlines now giving out prayers with dinner,” explains why. The funny thing is that the prayer the DUmmie was crybabying about was on PRIVATE property so they had every right to hand out prayers if they wanted to. The next step in the DUmmie Universe will be to ban Gideon Bibles from hotel rooms. Let us read on now about how the DUmmies are continuing to commit electoral suicide. As usual the outraged DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Alaska Airlines now giving out prayers with dinner. My partner flew to and from Chicago yesterday. With his dinner he received a little card with the Alaska Airline logo, a landscape and the following:

Give thanks to the Lord,

for He is good;

His love endures forever.

Psalm 107:1


I'm so disgusted I'm beside myself.

[GASP! The absolute NERVE! And when you find that Gideon Bible in your hotel room you probably have to throw up in the toilet in disgust.]

I'm a frequent flyer on Alaska so I've seen them for years. I usually just turn it upside down.

[Avert your eyes! AVERT YOUR EYES!!!]

I thought they were blue! What a way to alienate your major customer base. They need some serious complaint letters clogging their mailboxes.

[“Dear Alaska Airlines---I am absolutely DISGUSTED by the fact that you hand out comforting prayers. Please replace them with Astrological Predictions or you will turn off your DUmmie Base."]

There is nothing at all wrong with what they are doing. It isn't forced at all and for some it is very comforting. There are more people in america that believe in God than there are ones that do not. If the Government did this there would be room for complaint. Flying this day and time is very stressful for most. A prayer can be very welcome by some.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Would you like it if they had Muslim or Buddhist or any other religion's doctrine handed out to people?

[Actually most DUmmies WOULD like that.]

The government should do something about this and put a stop to it. If it does not, it is pandering to a religion through omission.

[Which constitutional amendment forbids pandering to a religion through omission?]

They're not providing blessings for every Hindu, Buddhist, Zoroastrian or other flavor out there. THAT is why this is offensive.

[I say not allowing a goat to be sacrificed on a Zoroastrian altar aboard the flight is DISCRIMINATORY!!!]

It sure as HELL is not an invocation of The Goddess. I find anything associated with the WAR GOD, Yahweh, offensive!

[The Goddess HATES the Evil War Monkey King.]

IF this is true, then perhaps they can print up the following prayer that I say on flights and pass them out:.


Hermes, hear my plea.
See us safely there,
And safely back again.
This is my will,
So mote it be.

[Is that Hermes or Herpes that you are praying to?]

I also ask that Isis, with Her strong wings bear me safely to my destination.

[How about Wonder Woman? Do you pray to her as well?]

Would love to see some story in the news on this.

[Me too! It will ensure that the DUmmiecrats LOSE the next election.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-18-05 ("ST. LOUIS MAN CLAIMS RUSH LIMBAUGH AFFAIR")

Just when you thought that DUmmie absurdity could go no further, after accusing Bush of being Bi in the previous edition of the DUFUs, they went further. Much further. This time the Homo Hunter DUmmie Thought Police have accused Rush Limbaugh of being gay in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “ST. LOUIS MAN CLAIMS RUSH LIMBAUGH AFFAIR.” Of course, this wild DUmmie speculation falls apart in the VERY FIRST sentence of the December 2002 article they site for “evidence” since the accuser is a 46 year old St. Louis area music shop owner. Hmmm…. Let’s do a little mathematics. 46 year old gay music store owner claims he had affair with Rush Limbaugh in college in the Fall of 1971. Subtract 31 years and voila, we have a BOY GENIUS who was only 15 years old in college!!! On top of that he claims to have met Rush in the same class they were taking. So Rush, who was either a sophomore or junior at the time (being 20 years old) is in the same class with a 15 year old boy who should be in high school. But logic is never a consideration with the DUmmies so let us sit back and laugh at the comedy of the DUmmie Homo Hunters. As usual the Homo Hunting speculations of the DUmmies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, worried that the DUmmies might find out that he visited Key West a couple of times in 2003, is in the [brackets]:

Dec. 8, 2002

A 46 year old music store owner from the St. Louis area, Elliot Sanders, is claiming that while a college student at Southeast Missouri University in 1971, he had an affair with Rush Limbaugh. Sanders claims that he and Limbaugh, the well known talk radio star, had an affair that went on for about 3 months in the fall of 1971...

[So we subtract 31 years from the 46 year old music store owner and we find out he was a 15 year old genius taking courses with 20 year old college student Rush Limbaugh in 1971. That’s a very plausible story….NOT!]

Sanders stated that he met Limbaugh in a class he was taking, but it was only after meeting his sister, who was openly gay at that time, that he found out Rush himself was gay. "Rush was a charming man privately," says Sanders, "I met him in a class I was taking, and got on a first name basis with him. I didn't realize he was gay until his sister came to visit him. She was gay, and like, we hit it off, and she seemed shocked that I didn't know Rush was gay as well. When I found out I was like ... wow!"

[What was the class the Boy Genius was taking? Astrophyics? Just how many 15 year old boys taking college classes with sophomores or juniors?]

Sanders says that privately, Limbaugh was very sensitive and caring man, but that he was furiously angry that KFBK, the top 40 radio station he worked while still in high school would not offer him a full time job.

[Maybe he was furious that he was already in college for a couple of years and he had a 15 year old kid in his class. That can cause a sense of inferiority.]

"He was furious about that," said Sanders, "And he often told me that he was really going to show them." According to Sanders, Rush's politics at the time were somewhat middle of the road. "Rush said that he though most people are incredibly gullible, and he felt that the key to radio programming was to reach that crowd, and that it would be really, really easy. He thought he thought he could get anyone to believe anything he said, and the more outrageous is was, the more they would believe it."

[What is gullible is how easily the DUmmies are swallowing the obviously phony story. Yeah, like Rush is going to confide to a 15 year old kid that he was going to make a radio career for himself by fooling the public.]

Sanders would not divulge any further details, but when asked if he feared retaliation from Limbaugh for his revelations, he stated, "No, Rush wouldn't do that, he's really a sweetie at heart, but some of the people who listen to him might. I think most of them are psychotic. I don't think these people realize he's just pandering to them for ratings, but if they find out, I wouldn't want to be there."

[LOL!!! And the funniest thing is that the DUmmies are actually buying this story. Maybe Elliot Sanders’ music store is doing lousy and he needs some extra cash. Yes, send money to Sanders, DUmmies. He is just $10 away from proving that Rush is gay.]

OMG…Somebody please pinch me...

[Somebody already pinched your brain.]

Watch out for the set up! This story is from 2002? I mean, please gimme a break. It might be true but why is this posted here now. My theory is that they are just trying set up some info some blogger will pick it up and then use a fake story to discredit all bloggers....all because the "Gannon" story is getting legs.

[Karl Rove knows that the DUmmies will swallow anything.]


I thought everyone already knew Rush was gay. No news here.

[Just like everyone knows that Bush is Bi.]

Unfortunately this story is two years old and going nowhere. Has it moved to corporate media yet? Two years after being on a crank website it is going nowhere. When a stroy goes to the corporate media then you know that averge people will be hearing about it. Until then, it will remain in the darkest corners of the internet. But I want it to be true.

[In your self-created alternate reality it IS true.]

sometimes chemicals act better when combined with others. This Rush story coming out with the Gannon story is just a wonderful mix. Remember the Rush drug thing didn't come out until after the McNabb incident.

[So somehow chemistry makes this story true?]

Somebody pinch me...wake me up...throw some water on me...

[How about if we just skip those lame preliminaries and go straight to the electro shock therapy?]

Ru$h = $3-bill

[DUmmies = lacking-¢]


All we need are the names of his gay hookers.

[I saw some stray confetti once on Rush’s shoulders. THAT’S IT!!! Rush had an affair with Rip Taylor!!!]

You have to know that the order has been given: MUDDY THE WATERS

[Even if the story is not true, use it to MUDDY THE WATERS.]


I am highly skeptical of this story. Sorry.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

KFBK is in Sacramento, CA. He was hired in 1984, was a hit and left in 1988 to go to NYC and national syndication. KFBK still carries Rushbo's show.

[So maybe Rush commuted every day in high school to Sacramento from Missouri to do his KFBK radio show. It COULD have happened.]

I think this story is bullshit. But even if it isn't, who cares!

[Yeah. If the story smears Rush just go ahead and use it anyways even if it is false.]

I really hate the guy. He says the meanest, most unfair, enraging, stuff,I've ever heard. I hope no one is offended and thinks this is in any way gay bashing. It's just the hypocrisy. Any thing 'family oriented' automatically anti-gay. Pro-family : anti-gay agenda. It's probably an insult to the GBLT community, to insinuate the braggart would be cool enough to be gay, even if he never came out of the closet. Pride goeth before the fall. Man, I would love to see him fall hard. And how does he seem to be skating on those drug charges. Man, if Martha, got jail time , he should,too.

[So use the FALSE story to try to bring down Rush. Lack of truth hasn’t stopped you in the past. GO FOR IT!!!]

This is rumor posted as fact on a messageboard. And I'm not sure what it is supposed to point out, other than hypocrisy. There's already been enough gay insensitivity with the whole Gannon thing. If Rush Limbaugh is gay, I could really give a shit. He's also bald and not so round as he once was. He is, however, a nasty, vile, low, disgusting sonofabitch who preys on the ignorant. Personally, that's my beef with him. Hypocrisy is the least of his crimes.

[A rumor posted as fact is a Factoid and MUST be true!]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-17-05 ("Bush Bi?")

Thanx to my trusty Indian Scout in Dummieland, I was forwarded this absolutely HILARIOUS DUmmie THREAD titled, “Bush Bi? Can anyone shed any light on this one?” And what is the basis for this shocking allegation? Absolutely nothing more than speculation on a tripod website that claims that an unnamed Las Vegas woman somehow knows that George W. Bush had bisexual affair. You can go to that tripod site from this DUmmie thread for yourself but I assure you it will not enlighten you a bit because even though it seems to be written in English, it is absolutely impossible to interpret what was written. I sure hope the DUmmies don’t talk to an unnamed Reno woman who once talked to someone who has a second cousin who knew a dairy cow that claimed she had carnal relations with YOURS TRULY. It would absolutely destroy me if the DUmmies found this “evidence” of bestiality on the part of the author of the DUmmie FUnnies. As usual the wild DUmmie speculations are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, yearning for the tenderness of Daisy the Cow, is in the [brackets]:

This is verrrrr interesting

[Would you mind interpreting what that website actually said into something that is even faintly comprehensible?]

not that interesting, actually since there was not a shred of evidence that bush had sex with guckert as the article tried so hard to imply. only the supposition that if you have one guy who might be gay in an organisation then the whole orgainsiation must be somehow controlled by gays. just what is it with these gay conspiracy theories? this is all starting to sound like the 'protocols of the learned elders of zion.' do you really believe that there is some kind of 'homintern' (as joe mccarthy called it) controlling the white house? i'm getting really tired of this obsession with hidden gays somehow controlling the world; it's starting to feel very paranoid and freeperish. the last time i heard so many people snickering about gays and thinking that they could somehow discredit someone by calling him 'gay' i was in high-school.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! However, thanx for making us aware of that term, “hominterm.” I think I shall file it away for future use.]

You know about poppy's scandal with orphaned child prostitutes thought right?

[Common knowledge but you forgot to mention Bush’s affair with an adopted transsexual goat.]

Also, there are rumors that you have to commit a homosexual act to become an Initiate of the Skull and Bones society at Yale.

[You mean Bush dated John Kerry?]

commit a homosexual act...that makes it sound like a felony

[The ironic thing is that the DUmmies who frequently slam the “homophobia” of the EVIL Republicans have been calling for the arrest of gay conservatives for, well, being gay.]

It is a felony only if you are using a cell phone at the same time.

[LOL! Good one! Since you’ve shown a good sense of humor that makes me suspect that you are a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I'm sure there might be more than one secret society that requires what some would call "unseemly" acts as part of their initiation.

[The Homer Simpson Fan Club requires that you commit an unspeakable act with Troy McClure’s goldfish.]

the atmosphere here is starting to get very tin-hatty and freeperish and very weirdly fixated on tittle-tattle about unmasking 'hidden gays'.
i just went to the linked site and it reads like its been put together by someone who's either forgotten to take their meds or who has been doing WAY too much crystal meth for far too long. honestly, does anyone really think that bush is gay? is calling him gay somehow going to help defeat the right? do you really think that will have any resonance with the anyone, outside a very few lunatic homophobes?

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

that was my initial reaction. It looked loopty loop but I was shocked at how many google hits. Bush and that other guy got. I could give a rats ass if he's gay, bi, or straight. It's the hyprocritical nature that has my interest, and then only slightly. Just wondering if the Gannon thing is closer to Bush than it appears now. Could Gannon be to Bush what Lewinsky was to Clinton?

[Could the Three Little Pigs be trisexual?]

i'm getting tired of all the weirdly gleeful assertionms that anyone we don't like is 'gay.' i'm seeing a vein of homophobia on this site that is quite surprising and disappointing.

[Suddenly the DUmmies are calling for the arrest of gays for….being gay.]

It isn't that they are Gay, it is their lying about being Gay while destroying the lives of others like themselves. They have no right to a clean, well-lit closet when they use "Gay Marriage" as a club to keep the Christian Right in line. I am a Queer. I want to hang these people (figuratively) from the highest tree in the land by their closeted homosexuality.

[Queer Eye for the DUmmie Guy.]

IF it's true, IT'S VERY EXPLOSIVE & IF LINKED TO GANNON IT'S WORSE. Well, Well, Well. ISN'T THIS INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully, we'll find a connection with Gannon. Time will tell the story.
Waiting for the IMPEACHMENT WHILE THE SCANDALS KEEP UNFOLDING

[Methinks you will be WAITING until Jan. 20, 2009.]

Sure, anything is possible... but without incriminating pics, the story is a worthless waste of time...

[Since there is an accusation that means there MUST be something to this story. The utter lack of proof that Bush is Bi means there is a massive Rovian coverup going on.]

Remember Bob Stevens of the Enquirer? You remember...He was the first one that died of anthrax after 911? Well sources tell me he had the pictures...that is why he was taken out.

[Hi Andy Stephenson! Was one of those “sources” Bev Harris, the con artist that you used to work with?]

And note that they "Decontaminated" the Enquirer office...And the evidence was gone forever.

[The long tentacles of the Perfect Rovian Storm know no bounds.]

Why Bush is evil! Why Bush is dumb! Why Bush can't string two words together! It's because he's GAY! We should have known all along! It's the only plausible explanation!

[Check his ranch for Judy Garland albums. That will be the ULTIMATE proof!]

If he *is* Gay, and I believe this, it discredits him with the Religionists who, along with Diebold, put him into office. I am hoping to motivate these people to remove him from office by whatever means makes most sense to them.

[“Hello, Jerry Falwell? I’m calling all Fundies that I normally despise to tell them that Bush is gay so could you maybe, um, impeach him?”]

Yes, nothing would get him tossed on the refuse pile faster than proof of homosexuality.

[Does he watch the Oscars? Chris Rock claims that is solid proof that you’re gay.]

With Bush, if it's true, he's a total fraud and hypocrite and destorying lives and this country because of the bigotry. Yet here Bush IS doing illegal crimes in this country and taking away ammendment rights and nobody who holds the power seems to care. So maybe the only way to show them the light is if this was true and could prove it.

[Hey! Remember that scene in “Liar Liar” where some woman figured out that a witness was gay because he knew all about women’s shoes? It was because only gay guys know the different styles of women’s shoes. I say flash pictures of different women’s shoes in front of Bush and if he shows the slightest trace of disgust at the unstylish shoes then that means he is gay…and grounds for IMPEACHMENT.]

There just has to be a way that we can do something with this story to expose the players.

[Just try making it up as you have been doing.]

Maybe the person at AmericaBlog doesn't know about this? Has anybody Emailed them personally and told about this woman? Maybe he/she can get to them?

[I’ve talked to that unnamed Las Vegas woman. She has told me she is just $10 away from exposing that Bush is gay. So send in your money and send it in care of Bev Harris.]

Lanny Davis, a longtime Democratic attorney and former counsel to Bill Clinton, was also a classmate of George Bush's at Yale. He tells this anecdote today in the LA Times: One of my most vivid memories is this: A few of us were in the common room one night. It was 1965, I believe — my junior year, his sophomore. We were making our usual sarcastic commentaries on those who walked by us. A little nasty perhaps, but always with a touch of humor. On this occasion, however, someone we all believed to be gay walked by, although the word we used in those days was "queer." Someone, I'm sorry to say, snidely used that word as he walked by. George heard it and, most uncharacteristically, snapped: "Shut up." Then he said, in words I can remember almost verbatim: "Why don't you try walking in his shoes for a while and see how it feels before you make a comment like that?"

[GASP! That settles it. Bush MUST be gay!!! This is as solid proof as catching him listening to Johnny Mathis while watching the Oscars.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-17-05 ("Screw republicans. Screw 'reaching out' to republicans.")

This DUmmie THREAD titled, “Screw republicans. Screw ‘reaching out’ to republicans,” must have attracted a lot of LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS because about half the posts were deleted. Anyway, we can see here that the DUmmies are not the least bit interested in even the semblance of bipartisanship. However, is this any great surprise? And woe unto any halfway sane Democrat such as Lieberman or Obama who are willing to work with the EVIL Republicans even in a limited way. As usual the “screw you” DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Screw republicans. Screw "reaching out" to republicans. Fight them all, every last one of them.

[So why this sudden outburst? Did the EVIL Republicans start attacking the good Progressive Democrats? No. Much worse. I checked the DUmmie link to this New York Times ARTICLE and it turns out that the HORRIBLE EVIL REPUBLICAN Education Secretary compromised with the Democrats and approved the qualifications of 4000 teachers in North Dakota that were previously declared insufficiently qualified. What threw the DUmmies into a tizzy is that this ruling met with the approval of North Dakota’s Democrat Senator Dorgan. Compromise---Yet another dirty underhanded Republican trick.]

Well THEY aren't reaching out to us . . .This is WAR. It is war for the future of this nation -- for the very existence of this nation.

[I agree. That compromise by the Education Secretary is the same thing as a declaration of WAR. She did a sneak attack by giving the Democrats everything they wanted on the teacher qualification issue. What other lowlife tactics will those EVIL Republicans do next?]

damn straight. to be BI-partisan, the WINNERS have to move too.

[Actually in this case, the WINNERS did all the moving. But don’t let the FACTS spoil your foaming at the mouth routine.]

Screw reaching out to Republicans indeed. They sure as hell don't reach out to us.

[Um….Maybe you should try READING the NY Times article link at the top your very own DUmmie thread.]

Although I have to admit it says something about our guys......since it's so easy to demolish these people, you'd think our people would be sticking it to them more regularly.

[This is in reference to LOUSY FREEPER TROLL Vermontster. Since he was tombstoned for making a rational argument on this thread, the DUmmies are gloating about how he couldn’t debate with him because he ran off. Of course, all this gloating was AFTER Vermonster was tombstoned so they were debating with nobody.]

We are at war whether or not we want to realize it. We cannot negotiate with these cultural terrorists. There is no reaching out.

[Reach out and TOMBSTONE somebody. BTW, at least 90% of the Dummie membership is tombstoned or LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS which means the actual number of DUmmies is somewhere around 5000 or less.]

The day we start to take back this country is that day we start open (political, cultural, financial, intellectual) warfare on Republicans and all things they support. We need to make them fear us. We need to become better armed than they are, both politically and physically.

[Now you know why I want a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert) in circulation. The general public NEEDS to see these DUmmie quotes.]

I've never understood the whole "reaching out" thing. IT LEGITIMIZES THEIR POSITIONS! Their positions are NOT legitimate!! They're just EVIL. They are corrupt, they are wrong, they are IMMORAL (yeah, I said it, but starting a preventative war and not fighting poverty is IMMORAL in my mind). I'm not going to reach out to repukes anymore than I would have reached out to Mussollini. It just gives them the (wrong) idea that they are right. They AREN'T. And they don't play fair to begin with. No, you don't reach out to people like that. You FIGHT THEM.

[Attn: Senator Obama. Take a look at this DUmmie post. It might be a factor in helping you to decide to come over to the “Dark Side.”]

These Repuke-lite Dems are WORSE than far right Repukes.

[So you are saying that Senator Lieberman and Senator Obama are WORSE than the EVIL Republicans? Thank you for driving even MORE Democrats over to the Dark Side.]

Eliot Ness never reached out to Al Capone. The neocons are criminals. We should be seeking to put them in jail, not reaching out to them.

[The DUmmies have the fantasy of hauling the EVIL Republicans before People’s Courts for Revolutionary Justice if they can ever overthrow the Bush Regime. Oh, and somewhat sane Democrats such as Lieberman and Obama won’t be safe from the clutches of the Jacobins either.]

Reasonable people can disagree, apparently unreasonable ones can too. The problem with your logic is that WE LOST. Now, to win in the future, we need to get some of the people who voted for Bush to vote for our candidate. Therefore, we would have to reach out. Simple concept, isn't it? Thinking that all Bush voters are "CULT members" is absurd, unless you consider 51% of the populace to be cultists, which you admit that you cannot "convert". Therefore, your position would cause us to continue to lose elections.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I can see how repukes would just LOVE this way of thinking. "Oh look, aren't they cute? Still thinking they can just reach out and win us over?"
Right. Like I said, knock yourself out, have fun with that. Meanwhile, I think criminals should be FOUGHT.

[Thank you for bringing this DUmmie discussion back to its normal level of irrationality.]

The reality is that, to many people, we did not present an attractive candidate.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Death to republicans!

[That you for counteracting that LOUSY FREEPER TROLL in such a civilized manner.]

It's not Repukes we need to fight. It's dumbass Dark Ages thinking. It just so happens that the majority of backwards-ass, Dark Ages, fundie fascist, thinking tends to spring from individuals in this political party. There are plenty of other voters who have similar faults in intelligence and thinking that need to be combated, as well.

[Oh please enlighten us with your great wisdom My Exalted One!]

I haven't met one that wasn't morally bankrupt, intellectually dishonest, mentally deficient, emotionally repressed, and willfully deluded, or some combination of the above.

[Your blanket condemnation is yet another sign of your wonderful openness to political diversity.]

They are the ones who will stonewalled if they refuse to at least accept some of our conversations.

[We’ve been reading your conversations in this thread. Which one of your conversations do you want us to accept? “DEATH TO REPUBLICANS!”?


Hopeless stupidest MFers on the planet.

[Thus ends the DUmmie “conversation” on this thread.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-16-05 ("How has your life changed since you found out about e-voting fraud?")

It must be really depressing to be a DUmmie nowadays. Somehow the DUmmies were under the strange delusion that the American public would rise up against non-existent “vote fraud.” Instead, life has gone on as before UNLESS you are a DUmmie as you can see in this THREAD titled, “How has your life changed since you found out about e-voting fraud?” The answer is that my life hasn’t changed a bit except for the fact that I am getting enormous laughs over the DUmmies obsessing over something that didn’t happen. Oh, and I think we are in for a whole new round of laughs soon over the Jeff Gannon “scandal.” The DUmmies are currently jubilant over “revelations” that Gannon might be gay. Okay, let us assume the “worst” and that Gannon is gay (not that there is anything wrong with that as Jerry Seinfeld would say). I hate to be the one to inform the DUmmies but the last time I checked, being gay is NOT against the law. Yet somehow the DUmmies are now convinced that Gannon being gay (maybe) means that he will be arrested and that will somehow lead to the unraveling of the EVIL Bush Regime. In the meantime it is hilarious to watch the DUmmie calls for Gannon’s arrest because he might be gay. When nothing happens since being gay is not a crime, the DUmmies will once again (as is already starting to happen) go hilariously off the deep end again. But I digress. Let us now return to the DUmmie obsession with their life changing experiences due to “vote fraud.” The DUmmie obsessions are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, currently tinkiering with a Diebold machine, is in the [brackets]:

How has your life changed since you found out about e-voting fraud?

[Not a bit except that I have been laughing my butt off watching the DUmmies obsess over this non-existent fraud.]

I found out last summer about the e-voting issue, and immediately realized the long term implications, and have not been the same since. I knew the election would be stolen, even though I worked really really hard for Kerry, hoping that just maybe there would be enough of a margin to offset the fraud. I became obsessed with trying to spread the word. I still am. I work on this stuff hours and hours a week.

[I agree. You are definitely OBSESSED. Do you carry a placard in the street while screeching to the uninterested crowd about e-voting “fraud?”]

I was talking to a friend today who is also very active in the election reform movement. We were talking about how obsessed and compelled we are. How we don't exercise like we should. Spend way too many hours on the computer. Are single-mindedly focused. Don't have much else to talk about when we get together with our friends. And there are good things happening in the world, too. If you spend all your time fighting evil, it seems that is all there is, because that is all you see.

[Yeah. I can sympathize. Recently I was fortunate enough to be invited by Playboy Playmate Petra Verkaik to her hotel room. Instead of taking advantage of the situation I just kept ranting about e-voting “fraud” until she threw me out in disgust.]

t seems so difficult to work on this with any kind of moderation. There must be a way to work on this and maintain some balance in one's life. I need to smell the roses occasionally, and my body wants more exercise. Are others struggling with this?

[The e-voting fraud issue has caused my body to go into a catatonic state since November. I haven’t moved a muscle since then.]

Without DU I would never know what the hell is going on. A side effect though, I find myself growin more paranoid about things.

[Yes. Growing paranoid about everything is a definite side effect of being a DUmmie.]

Don't worry, you'll get enough exercise running from the Gestapo.

[Running from the minions of the Evil Bush Regime is definitely a great aerobic exercise. And that extra touch of paranoia gives you an even better workout.]

My ass has also widened more than I care to think about since November 2 and I think it might soon just decide to merge with the chair at my desk!! lol

[Now I know where your head has been hiding since November.]

There are times when I promise to go to bed on time, then the next thing I know, it's 2 hours later. I don't get a lot of sleep because of that. I try to hone in on specific things -- and send letters when I can.

[I stayed awake the other night worrying about if I would remember to return my library books on time.]

I really believe that much of what happens in life is preordained. So you do what you can and pray to God/Allah, whomever your choice/ and let him handle it.

[You left out Odin and Buddha in your prayers which means that the EVIL Bush Regime WILL continue.]

I was a staffer for Bill McBride as well and now know we did not really win the primary, Janet Reno did, and they fixed it for her.

[That’s one election fix you can’t blame on the EVIL Republicans. That particular fix was a Terry McAwful/Clinton deal.]

Still not getting any exercise. I've been blaming that on the holidays and the weather but the truth is that the election is mostly to blame. I think it's time to stop with the excuses and get out there. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm giving up on election issues. Just looking for a balance I can sustain over the long haul.

[It’s tough to find balance when you start off with severe mental imbalance.]

I've always been kind of a laid back person but since the election, I've become obsessive. I have trouble doing the most ordinary things, because I can hardly think about anything else.

[I have trouble squeezing oranges. My obsession with e-vote fraud is so complete that it has affected my basic motor functions. Oh, and I can’t use spoons any more which means no soup since November.]

I have always been very easy going. Since Nov 2 am in a continuous mood swing. I am getting better but still have some real dark days.

[Tell me about it! On January 20, I was dialing the Suicide Hotline…. 1-800-BUSH-WON.]

The earth is fast running out of oil and the entire world (with developing cos.) runs on it. Our culture is now totally mediated....in that it is riding on this surface of consumerism and media entertainment. It is not that we just won't be able to move around so freely there are grave predictions of the possibility that we won't be able to eat. Not many know how to grow food. Not many want to do that kind of labor. Plus the weather with global warming will be extreme. Many species could die. Man just simply is too focused on his own comfort and cares little about the ecosystem and all the creatures.

[To quote that great philosopher, Chicken Little: “THE SKY IS FALLING!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!”]

I am wondering if DU might be interested in a group titled Green Energy and Sustainability or something like that.

[Catchy title.]

one of my fears is that i'm getting so focused on this one issue, I can't do anything else. I don't have time to work on environmental issues, I can't watch the news. I don't even know what happened with the Iraq election.

[Dewey won.]

So, I'm broke, like most of the people who have spent the past two years working on this (including some of your national leaders whose names I won't mention because I don't want to call them out -- but, I would suggest that those of you who still have jobs set up a monthly or annual budget to send a bit each month to someone or some org. who has been working full-time on this for free -- you know, like churches ask for).

[Even Bev Harris has a subtler shtick for conning money. Try telling your fellow DUmmies that you are just $10 away from discovering how the EVIL Republicans committed e-vote fraud.]

I spend all my time on it. I have little else to offer my friends in conversation. Luckily, my dog gets me out for a daily walk. But, he's pretty bored with the whole issue! When I start talking about VVPB, he goes to the next room!

[I may have to report you to the ASPCA for animal cruelty.]

Remember that tsunami that leveled buildings, killed people, and overturned trains? It was just drops of water, folks. Drops of water that got together and did the same thing, all at the same time. We can be the visionary tsunami for good.

[Envision your own “tsunami for good” reality.]

There are a whole lot of people working on those other issues who don't have a clue that this election was a computer generated coup. If we don't deal with THIS issue, none of the rest will matter anyway. In 2006 they will get more house and senate seats and the fraud will happen in state races as well, and forget all the other issues at that point.

[ALL your computer source code belongs to US!]

From my perspective the right made a very grave error in judgement. They didn't count on the backlash that is now occurring.

[True. We didn’t count on this terrific comedy material still being generated months after the election was over.]

I'm going to make a chart/schedule for myself to allow only a certain amount of time per day for immersion into the election fraud issue and plotting how the shrub will be brought down. I haven't decided yet how much time to allow, but I do need some kind of intervention as my house looks pretty bad these days. I find I'm not even keeping up with paying my bills like I used to pre-November 3. I just can't keep off the computer. I hate watching the msm news now, I only trust the "liberal" websites. I also check news daily from aljezeera and other foreign sites as I like to know the rest of the world sees shrubco for who they really are.

[I’ve scheduled 6:00 AM to 5:59 AM the next day on a regular basis to be devoted to immerse myself into the election fraud issue. However, I am starting to feel guilty to all that useless free time I’ve allowed myself to have.]

This issue has near consumed me. I worked ferverishly in the weeks following the elections. I stay on the computer way too much, even now. Instead of focusing on finding a job, I'm working on getting VOTE off the ground. Hubby feels like an election widow. I do find that my voice is quavering less when I speak to people about the election fraud. That's a good thing. I'm broke. I'm tired. I'm disillusioned. I'm angry. Somehow, though, I can't give up. I just wish that I could go back and ignore all of this or be like those who believe that there wasn't any election fraud. Then I could sleep at night without my mind racing at the implications of what the election fraud means for this country. I force myself to craft. It helps me to take some time away and clear my mind. I find that naps are helping tremendously. I pray a lot.

[“Dear God. Please give me sanity. Amen.”]

After awhile you begin to wonder if you're actually just crazy or existing in a parellel universe.

[I’m thinking that you are crazy in a parallel universe.]

I have always trended toward "cynicism" but with a leavening humor. For the first time in my 47 years, I feel the jaws of outright despair nipping at my heels. I have passed on all data (considerable) that I have on this issue to everyone I know. I have written numerous letters to the LA Times - four published this year about the Bush junta, but NONE on this topic- as well as every Senator I thought might listen. The response has been, to say the least, underwhelming. I find that I am completely immune to all entreaties to "gear up for 2006." This strikes me as some kind of sick joke, really. Gear up for what? To be trounced again by this cabal of thieves and hypocrites? I don't think so. Why do so many Americans, especially Democrats, fail to realize what has occured? Further, how can they ignore the obvious truth that it is the very essence of insanity to continue to do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result.

[Speaking of essence of insanity….Uh, never mind.]

Take a couple days off! Come back and review the daily update threads after you have caught your breath. I am finding they really are quite comprehensive, but word of warning, two days away from here and spent with my family only makes me want to fight harder! I just can't stand to think what the world could be like for them if these DELUSIONAL individuals keep taking away EVERYTHING this country was founded on!

[Speaking of DELUSIONAL individuals….Uh, never mind.]

i don't even HAVE in anyone in real life (meaning not online) that i can talk to election fraud about (at least no one that cares about it like i do).

[Try talking about this to your Shrink.]

I am now a woman obsessed, and yet I have moments of fear going down this road given the power of those in power have. Some days I wish I could just be a mom and wife and every day person without trying to change everything.

[I hate to be the one to inform you but your yearning for normalcy WILL go unfulfilled.]

This “awakening” has left everything else in a void. It is the most surreal experience I have ever known. It shakes the foundation of your beliefs and requires serious eternalizing. I think this is why the general public cannot deal with it. They honestly can’t handle the truth, but they are not completely oblivious like many here believe. The reaction of the general public(and media), or lack of, is probably the hardest lesson I have learned from all of this. How stupid I was to think that, at the very least, the majority of Americans cherished democracy. Thank God for all of you guys here, you all make it easier to deal with. The roller coaster ride up until Jan. 6th was almost too much to bear. I am a full time student in college and my grades suffered drastically as a result of making this a priority. I had no choice, it screamed for attention.

[I bet you’re Mr. Popularity with the college chicks.]

I personally believe there is a much bigger plan to deal with this whole situation but we can not and will not be let in on it until it breaks in a huge way. Somedays I feel that time is close and other days I think I'm delusional.

[I strongly opt for that latter conclusion.]

I have two children, ages 7 and 4. I worry about the world they will have to grow up in. Mom is pretty boring these days and hard to pry away from the computer.

[I worry about your children being raised by an obsessive, delusional Mom who spends little time with them due to her fantasies.]

Lost Jobs, Friends, Money over all this crap...and I'm not a happy camper.. used to fly around the world making 6 digits now I just analyze Diebold DRE tape receipts trying to make sense out of garbage and trash we now call our votes.. it's sick sick sick...

[It's funny funny funny...]

I've known that it could happen for a long time. Seeing it happen in this election -- I came to DU the next day. And I no longer read the NY Times, cancelled my subscription, don't watch the news. No more Hardball. Only Keith. No more CNN. I've finally seen West Wing. (I used to be a news addict.) Instead of reading the awful Times on the train, I knit. So, I have knitted my dog a sweater -- that she really needed -- and my daughter.

[While you’re at it, could you knit me a “BUSH WON” quilt?]

DUmmies FUnnies 02-15-05 ("Who is the Democratic Party's sleaziest, slimiest,politician...?"

When I first saw this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Who is the Democratic Party's sleaziest, slimiest,politician, who will hit below the belt at every chance (s)he gets?” I was sure they were referring to Democrats that they hate such as Lieberman. How wrong I was! What they want are Democrats with those qualities who will use them against the EVIL Republicans. So much for the “civility” spiel that the DUmmies sometimes laughingly toss out. As you can see they UPFRONT admit they want a slimey sleazebag for a nominee in ’08. Of course, they have already forgotten that Kerry had all of these qualities. As usual the slimy, sleazy DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking down into the septic tank of DUmmieland, is in the [brackets]:

Who is the Democratic Party's sleaziest, slimiest,politician, who will hit below the belt at every chance (s)he gets? I'm talking about a person who is willing to just get out there and say stuff, even if it isn't true, we know it works, and put everything on the table. I want a human shredder, who can mince the other candidate as soon as the campaign has started. I don't even care about ideology. Let's run this person in '08

[There a WEALTH of Democrats who fit this bill. Tom Harkin comes to mind. Yes, he is definitely a sleazy, slimy type. Of course there is the tried and true slime of Hillary. And let us not forget honorable sleaze mentions to Barbara Boxer, Dick Durbin, Ted Kennedy, and many, many others.]

Hillary? she seems to fit the description

[Absolutely. Definitely a slimy sleazebag. Who can forget her infamous White House War Room for spreading the sleaze. And slimy? Hey, she fired Billy Dale and other members of the White House Travel Office for the high crime of being nonpartisan.]

Richie Daley takes no crap off of anybody!

[Please elaborate. I know little of the Richard Daley abilities in the field of sleaze except he tried to orchestrate Al Gore stealing the 2000 election after the fact.]

Bring back James Traficant. He should be getting out of the joint some time soon.

[Unfortunately, when they took away Traficant’s wig they also took away his power source. That wig was like his personal dilithium crystal. BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!!!]

OMG--I totally misread your post (glad I saw the replies). I thought you were asking which of our Dems is the worst sleazebag ready to sell us out to Bush, etc. I was going to reply that the list is so damn long, it would be hard to pick one!!!!! Now, maybe we should run a "Dem re-training program" and harness the talents of these whores to our benefit!!!! (but we better make sure we can offer them more money than the corporations who are buying them). Sadly, if we find the guy/gal you are looking for, they are first going to have to battle the "on cue from the White House" attack from these "kind" of fellow Dems. I've seen it being used against Ted Kennedy, etc. The Bush cartel and the Repubs would just sit back and watch their favorite Dem poodles do the hit.

[I can’t blame you for misreading the thread. I made the same error at first. The fact is the DUmmiecrats are unashamed to admit that they want a slimy sleazebag as their nominee in ’08. Don’t worry, however. I am sure you will come up with someone VERY QUALIFIED in the slimy sleazebag department.]

There are quite a few people who aren't afraid to hit below the belt, but that doesn't necessarily make them slimy or sleazy.

[Um…actually it DOES make them slimy and sleazy.]

Biden is pretty slimy...

[And the added benefit of Biden is that he is a total blowhard as well. So we know Biden is sleazy enough to be the ’08 nominee but the big question is if he is sleazy enough. You really have to be careful not to end up with a candidate who is just slimy without the requisite amount of sleaze.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-14-05 ("Why are Democrats suicidally crazy?")

Sometimes, when browsing around in Dummieland, a thread title will grab my attention which this DUmmie THREAD titled, “"Why are Democrats suicidally crazy?" did bigtime. The same question could also be applied to the DUmmies, “Why are DUmmies suicidally crazy?” Whatever the answer the fact that they and the Dems are suicidally crazy makes them FUN to watch! Hey, if they weren’t suicidally crazy, how could I even provide the public with FUnnie DUmmie FUnnies? This thread leads off with an article about the “suicidally crazy” DNC Chairman, Howard Dean. The suicidally crazy DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, manning the Suicide Hotline (1-800-BUSH-WON), is in the [brackets]:

”The conventional rap against Dean as DNC chairman is essentially the same as the conventional rap against him as presidential candidate a year ago. Namely, he reinforces all the party's weaknesses. Democrats need to appeal to culturally traditional voters in the Midwest and border states who worry about the party's commitment to national security. Dean, with his intense secularism, arrogant style, throngs of high-profile counterculture supporters and association with the peace movement, is the precise opposite of the image Democrats want to send out.”

[Good analysis by author Jonathan Chait. But please, Jonathan, don’t complain too loudly. We DON’T want the DUmmiecrats to change their suicidally crazy ways.]

The DNC chairman has two main jobs. First, he transmits the party's message -- an important role when the party lacks a president and majority leaders in Congress. This job requires one to master the dismal art of "message discipline," boiling down the party's ideas into a few simple phrases and repeating them over and over until they have sunk into the public consciousness.

[Here is the DUmmiecrat’s message boiled down to it’s essence: “HATE BUSH! HATE REPUBLICANS! HATE FREEPERS! HATE THEM!!! HATE THEM!! HATE THEM!!! HATE! HATE! HATE!”]


”It's a role for which Dean is particularly ill suited. During his campaign, remember, he fashioned himself a straight talker, delighting reporters by repeatedly wandering ‘off message.’ On the plus side, he won friends in the media by appearing honest and human. On the negative side, he did himself enormous damage, when, for example, he suggested that he wouldn't prejudge Osama bin Laden until he had been convicted in a court of law.”

[DUmmiecrat law states that Osama would have to be released if he wasn’t read his Miranda rights.]

“So, how did Dean manage to trounce all comers for this position? Dean's supporters see his triumph as the victory of the masses over a tiny Democratic elite desperately trying to cling to power. As one left-liberal blogger gloated: "The fact that Howard Dean will most likely be heading up the Democratic Party is our victory. It is the voice of the grass roots lifted up into the halls of power once owned by the aristocracy of consultants.'' That actually has it backward. A recent Wall Street Journal poll found that only 27 percent of Democrats approve of Dean.”

[It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if the gloating “left-liberal blogger” was a DUmmie. Okay, and now we go to the suicidally crazy DUmmie comments about this article.]

To be honest, I've been terribly torn about Dean. And while Jonathan Chait does accurately encapsulate all my misgivings, I still ended up coming down on the other side and endorsing him. Here's the reason: all these criticisms, though valid, assume that Howard Dean has learned absolutely nothing from his experience going from leading Presidential candidate down to also-ran. I don't believe that. Say whatever else you like about him, Dean isn't stupid.

[I disagree. I say that Dean is STILL an arrogant shmuck. However, on the plus side, I still enjoy hearing the Dean Scream. YEEEEAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!]

People who think Dean is a whacked-out liberal...need to truly study his record in Vermont. He was surprisingly centrist in most of his policies.

[Ultra high state taxation is centrist?]

I can't help but point out that the "be nice and appeal to the middle" strategy isn't working. Leaders of revolutions are always seen as "loose cannons" by the establishment. No guarantees that this revolution would be successful, but really, the point is to try somebody different.

[Translation: “Piss on reasonableness. Bring on the Bolshevik Revolution!”]

I wish all the naysayers would just shut up and give him a chance to undo the damage that the previous idiot did.

[It’s hard to be worse than Terry McAwful but I have faith that Dean can outdo him.]

Jonathon Chait and "The New Republican" magazine are the best friends the Republican Party have ever had. They are not to be trusted. They and the DLC will do everything they can to push the Democratic Party to the right which will eventually, if left alone, destroy the party. Just look at the damage they've done so far.

[Didn’t Jonathan Chait attend a PNAC luncheon? “P-NACing, Mr. Pinell. P-NACing?” (Obscure “She Wore A Yellow Ribbon” reference.)]

First of all this is just the beginning of the slash and burn campaign that the right wing media (and we all know that means the MSM and its counterparts) will be producing and promoted as Dean takes the helm of the DNC. Not terribly different that during the campaign, when they finally destroyed him with the scream, knowing all along that they had quieted down the noise of the crowd he was trying to be heard over.

[You mean how like all the Boos for Hillary by firemen and policemen were electronically converted to Cheers?]

I hope with Howard Dean we end being Mr. and Ms. Democratic Nice Guy. I hope we go on the attack and start pointing out the stupidity of Mr. Bush and cronies, with civility of course, but we should point it out at every opportunity. I hope with Howard Dean that we stop being the victims of vicious right wing attacks and go on the offense instead of always being defensive. I think he will help accomplish this with civility, common sense, and speaking truth to power. So Mr. Chait can keep his right wing smear tactics to himself and the Wall Street Journal and their "poll" of democrats, can kiss my big blue state butt.

[First you hope that you quit being Mr. Nice Guy and go on the attack. Then you want to do it with civility. Finally you regress back to this: “Kiss my blue state butt." Great civility there.]

The downside to all this is that Mr. Dean had better make sure he is very well protected 24/7 with multiple layers of highly vetted security experts. The neo-com masters have proven that they are no strangers to political assassination, as the string of dead bodies, both literally and figuratively, now littering the landscape should show us. Poor Howard is now taking his life in his hand. He is becoming a dangerous man to the kill a commie for Christ bunch.

[Actually a lot of Freepers would volunteer to be Dean bodyguards. Hey, we WANT Dean as DNC Chairman. Not only is he incredibly ENTERTAINING but he will destroy the DUmmiecrats far more effectively than any EVIL righwing Republican could ever accomplish.]

It is time for a revolution.

[WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!]

Rethugs label every dem who has an opinion and voices it, as a "loose cannon". I think they are very afraid of Dean for some reason, and I'm liking all the publicity they're giving him - it kind of endorses him even more for me.

[DEAN! DEAN! HE’S A SCREAM! LOOKS SO TOUGH AND ACTS SO MEAN! DEAN!]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-11-05 ("Is anyone else tired of living like this?")

This DUmmie THREAD is one long primal scream titled, “Is anyone else tired of living like this?” It is living proof that the DUmmies suffer from more than just political setbacks, they are also in a state of SEVERE clinical depression. We lead off this whine with the posting of the author of the thread, the aptly named DUmmie, BattyDem. The Primal DUmmie Screamings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, standing by to administer the Meds, is in the [brackets]:

The lies ... the corruption ... the ignorance and apathy of the people ... the 24/7 propaganda ... the rigged elections ... the total disregard for non-American lives ... the lack of compassion for the poor, the elderly, the sick and the disabled ... the destruction of our Constitution ... the elimination of science in favor of religious dogma ... the CONSTANT insertion of (the Christian) God into EVERY aspect of our lives and laws, coupled with the total disrespect of other religions ... the bigotry, the discrimination and the outright hatred of anyone who isn't a straight, white, Christian, American man ... Patriot Act II ... the lack of REAL journalism in the MSM ... the fact that these criminals continue to do whatever they damn well please and no one stops them ... and most of all, the recurring hope that we're on the verge of toppling the regime and taking our country back, only to have the "scandal" fade into oblivion. I am so tired of this shit! I don't know how people in Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union, Mussolini's Italy, etc. managed to survive without going insane. I'm serious ... I'm reaching the breaking point.

[Home ... I have no home. Hunted, despised ... living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master! I shall perfect my own race of people ... a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the WORLD!]

I'm sure I'm not the only DUer who has felt this way, either in the present or the past. I'd like to know what you all are doing to stay positive and/or how you re-energized when you felt like throwing in the towel. I know about all the suggested "activism" to focus our emotions into doing something positive - contacting the media, contacting our representatives, writing LTTE, etc., but what happens when you reach a point when you feel like all you're doing is banging your head against the wall in a futile attempt to make someone pay attention?

[Cheer up! Things could be worse. At least you’re not being featured and openly mocked on the DUFUs before THOUSANDS.]

I'm not trying to bring anyone down or discourage anyone from fighting, I just really need to know how other DUers stay sane when the world around us is drowning in insanity.

[I wouldn’t worry too much about the DUmmies trying to stay sane. That battle has been lost long ago.]

I go skiing and hang out with friends. Then I come back to the fight.

[Eating a bag of stale potato chips does the trick for me.]

thank god for college...I feel like no one around me (in real life!) wants to wake up and realize the mess this country is in. It's very frustrating...

[Perhaps someday they will wake up and realize what a wonderful genius you are. Until then just satisfy yourself with being just another socially awkward cretin.]

I feel like banging my head into a wall. Heh heh.

[And don’t forget to accompany your head banging with the following Primal Scream: “I HATE BUSH!!! HATE HIM!!! HATE HIM!!! HATE HIM!!!”]

I take a break from reality somehow...read a trashy novel, go skiing, play with my dog, turn off the tv, radio and computer. I would go completely bonkers if I didn't. I am considering making it a challenge to myself to work out every time I get a full-on scowl on my face from all this shit. I might sweat to death though. I also love to organize my closet and stuff like that, it calms the OCD demons and lets me chill on the political stuff for a bit. Then I get pissed and vocal all over again. fight fight fight!

[I would say that your break from reality has been a complete success.]

Look at it this way...what if you were a freeper? Sure, your side would control the political power. You would be free of the pain you are in now. But, what about the costs to you? You would wake up every day hating gays, minorities, anything non-christian. You would be under the control of fear mongering by your leaders and RW talk show hosts.

[Excuse me while I beat up an otherly gendered Tibetan monk.]

How do I stay sane in these crazy times? I sit in my garden and watch the hummingbirds and the squirrels. I listen to classical music. I talk to like-minded friends and we commiserate and talk things out together. I work out at the gym and feel determined to stay healthy so I can live a LONG TIME so that I can be a part of the necessary regime change that MUST happen here by 2008.

[After Jeb wins in 2008, you will be talking to those hummingbirds and squirrels.]

I go from rage to profound sadness...then rage...sadness...

[Thank God you at least go through that therapeutic rage stage.]

Shit- sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind!

[I hate to be the one to inform you but you left your mind behind about 50 miles back down the road.]

In much of the world, what we are going through is day to day life for them. Look at what goes on in Africa.

[You’re starving to death? Hang on! I’ll give a call to Sally Struthers to plead your case on the tube.]

these Bushbots have got to be similar to Nazi Germary ... hail our great leader .. the blind devotion. It's depressing, it sucks ... my company is blowing out 1600 of us, including me ... another victim of the Bush economy ... I miss Clinton ... I miss my 401k that now is more like a 201k ... I'm thinking of asking the doc for something like xanax or such. Diety help us all make it the next few years.

[Perhaps Diety or Deity can also provide you with a heavy dose of Prozac with a Lithium chaser.]

I went on drugs so I could sleep at night without thinking freepers were on their way to kill me. 2 days and counting. We'll see how it goes.

[Just take a slight dose of cyanide and I guarantee you won’t be worrying about Freeper killing you.]

mass medication. You know how horses have salt licks in barns ... we need to have giant Valium licks in public places ... work, banks, etc., ... have a lick and cope with this fundamental Xtian crap.

[LOL!!! Thanx for giving me the BEST laugh I’ve had in a month!!! I can just picture DUmmies on all fours partaking of a giant Valium lick. The mental image is making me fall out of my chair again!!!]

Take it from me...Don't do drugs.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I knitted during Bush's SOTU. I finished a beanie for my son. I knew I had to listen to it so I'd know what everyone was talking about afterwards, and the knitting kept me from beating my head against the walls.

[Did you knit a straitjacket for yourself?]

There is no balance of powers anymore- the far right controls every branch of government, the voting machines in key precints are rigged- and the far right owns the vast majority of the print and broadcast media. Short of an economic collapse, a larger more disaterous war, a Bhopal like environmental catastrophe or virulent pandemic- the far right will never willingly give up power.

[In that case, the only way out for you is to take a quicksand mud bath.]

I don't think I can stay sane. Every friggin' day there is another outrage that makes my head explode. When you find out how to deal with all this, please enlighten me, because I get so angry and depressed that I am no fun to be around, believe me. And I am tired of it.

[May I place your name on the DUFU PING List?]

Everytime there is some additional outrage or scandal or abomination that you're sure will be their undoing, they just keep on sailing and get away with something even worse the next time. I'm no fun to be around, either. I wonder if there are support groups for.

[Thank you for that excellent description of the Road Runner cartoon theme, Mr. Coyote. Oh, and sorry about all those Acme Co. packages blowing up in your face.]

Four years and counting of these daily outrages, waiting for the other shoe to drop, has changed my personality for the worst. If I'm not awake dreading every moment, I'm dreaming about horrible outcomes.

[To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.]


Harrass any and all Republicans incessantly...Take your crazy and make someone else insane...Bush Bash til you can't Bush Bash no more!

[Ah! The power of positive thinking.]

I love to bait my wife's idiot brother and his dysfunctional family.

[Shall I pack tuna casserole in my picnic basket when your in-laws invite me to your lynch party.]

All our dem candidates are hard to choose because for the most part any of them would make a great president ( don't know about joe)....The frustration we deal with when some spoiled adolesent steals the election twice or some hack actor or muscle head calling themselves the great communicator or conan the tax trasher gets dropped into our lives on puppet strings by the neocon corporate pirates is hard to handle. We are sane !!!!!! it's the republicans who get duped who are crazy.

[Sure, sure. You’re sane and all the rest of us are crazy. Now keep repeating that and the Happy Farms gang will be along any minute with your butterfly net to play with.]

who said I was sane. I don't feel it anymore sometimes. Suicide gets daily consideration. I'm clinically depressed so that's not a suprise but the current state of the world doesn't help matters. My wife is really the only reason I have for being. I'm frustrated beyond words that whenever I try to see some light at the end of the tunnel the apathy and stupidity of those running the world just astounds me and I see nothing but an abyss staring back at me filled with the broken flesh of countless good people who never asked to be caught up in the folly of a few.

[Don’t blame me! I never accused you of being sane. Honest.]

in under 24 hours i had two brothers call me and tell me their bigotry was so ok they have a right to it.

[“Hello DUmmie seabeyond. This is your brother giving you a call just to let you know that my bigotry is so ok and that I have a right to it.”]

ANY person yearning to be free in ANY Totalitarian Nation feels this not just Imperial Amerika. Our feelings are no different than those who resisted the nazis or Soviets or Khmer Rouge or Ferdinand Marcos or Pinochet or Putin or any other of the Bushevik-type Leaders. As far as I am concerned we can be grateful they are killing us wholesale, though that is probably not an option...at least until the Last generations born in Free America have died off or grown decrepit. Then all bets are off. And I wouldn't give a bucket or warm spit for the poor bastards alive in Amerika 2050 or, God Forbid, 2100.

[Hmm…. I notice that this upbeat post was made by DUmmie tom_paine. I wonder if this DUmmie is the son of Bill Moyers who runs the TomPaine.Com website. The “uplifting” message fits right in with that website theme.]

I know what not to do, and that is too go see a shrink. All they will do is dumb you up with dangerous drugs. You have a right too feel like that. Your not losing your mind, or the only one who feels like that. It is a NORMAL feeling to feel despair when you watch your country sinking into a state of corruption.

[Yeah, much better to live with UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE 24/7. You may not be losing your mind but you are doing an incredible impression of it.]

Threads like this, unfortunately, make freepers happy.

[Not just happy but filled with uncontrollable laughter as well. But continue with the laughs…]

Remember: that's one thing we have in our favor: our every move, every breath, every piece of legislation, every website, isn't EXPRESSLY devoted to pissing off/killing the "other side." Theirs is.

[Kill off the DUmmies? No way! Not when you provide BUNDLES of laughs. Continue…]

They have no other motivations other than revenge for the imagined slights they suffered in the 60's, 70's and 80's. (Well, greed and power, too. But what's foremost in the conservative brain is REVENGE REVENGE REVENGE.)

[Don’t worry. You’re not CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY. Continue with the comedy shtick…]

When the conservatives see that they've just about driven some of us over a cliff, they squeal in delight. This is what makes them the ugly, evil pigs they are: they live for this (freeper posts are full of the actual, visceral, literal, blood n guts revenge fantasies they engage in 24/7 in their heads.) In fact, their zeal for pissing off liberals is matched only in proportion to their lack of ideas, ideals, and positive goals. One is a peak, the other a valley, each are vast.

[Hard not to laugh when you all are talking about using Valium licks. Continue with your vast laughs…]

If you really want to beat the right at their own game, never ever express how distraught you are (except in PM's), and instead keep resolute. Like the old deodorant commercial says, "Never let 'em see you sweat."

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Is that Flop Sweat I see soaking your diapers? Or is that stink from another source? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-11-05 ("Is Ward Churchill wrong?")

The DUmmies have asked this poll question, “Is Ward Churchill wrong?” and, as expected, most of them answered in the NEGATIVE as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD. Is it really any surprise that the DUmmies overwhelmingly support the Nutty Professor? What is interesting is just how many other liberal/leftists out there have similar views as the DUmmies on Churchill. Churchill’s only “sin” to many liberals is that he spoke his heinous views out loud or didn't hide it in the typical package of professorial mumbo jumbo as many other professors have done. As usual the DUmmies expressions of support for Ward Churchill are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

I personally am having trouble percieving exactly what he said that is wrong. I understand the emotional reactions to his words and ideas. But after setting aside the initial emotions I fail to find fault in his rhetoric.

[You have trouble perceiving that it is wrong to say that the office workers at the WTC deserved to die on 9-11 because they were “Little Eichmans” as Ward Churchill characterized them? Welcome to DUmmieland Morality.]

Geaux Prof. Churchill!!!

[The appropriately namedDUmmie Swamp Rat cheerleads the Nutty Professor.]

I think the things Antrhax Annie and a good number of Freepers say are much worse. I understand hyperbole to make a point--and his point is clearly that not only were the 9/11 victims complicit, we all are complicit in America's foreign policy--but I also understand that on the right you find outright hatred of anyone not 'lucky' enough to be born white and in the USA.

[DUmmie NewHampshireDem, a Ward Churchill wannabee.]

Uh, he IS white and was born in the USA. He claims to be 3/16 native American, though even this now seems to be in dispute.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I think he's right & I don't presume to tell anyone how to deliver their message !! I have felt for a long time now, that it takes the loud ones, the outrageous ones, the "extremists" to move the thinking of the 'average person'.

[Outrageous and extremists: that description fits the DUmmies perfectly.]

I say "GO, Ward Churchill" !!!

[Any doubt as to where DUmmie sympathies are? Something to remember the next time Chris Heinz enters DUmmieland and panders to them.]

Ward Churchill is scum. He said the victims of 9/11 deserved their fate. I don't see how anybody could say something much worse.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Did you hear all the students cheering him during his speech? Watch the video. He gets plenty of applause. I agree he hasn't much in common with liberalism, but you're wrong about academia. I worked at a University for 6 years. There are plenty of Ward Churchills around, students and professors.

[YUP! And don’t forget DUmmieland. There are plenty of Ward Churchills there too.]

What he says is nothing but the logical truth of the matter. This country has committed acts of terror in the name of national security since its inception.

[Congratulations. You application to become a CU professor has been ACCEPTED!]

I really wanted to stand up for Churchill, because he made a lot of good sense. But he killed himself, absolutely killed himself, with the Eichmann's comment. Godwin's Law all over again: The first person to use Nazis in an argument automatically loses. This wasn't even the 'Bush is a Nazi' chestnut. He used it in reference to the people who got blasted sideways out of a hundred story building. Is wildly unrestrained capitalism a prime reason for social and financial inequity? An excellent argument can be made on that score. Did the Towers represent that? Certainly, that's why they were targeted. Is American foreign policy over the past fifty years - in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Egypt - a reason why we don't make a lot of top ten lists in that part of the world? That's a no-brainer. But to throw a loaded symbol like Eichmann into the fray brings utter ruin to whatever point was in the offing, unfortunately. It was a pungent phrase, and I am sure as a writer that he felt a little thrill when he wrote it. But he blew his foot off with that one.

[Thank you for your input, Pied Piper Pitt. So you actually agree with the Nutty Professor but you just don’t like the way he packaged his message. You have a LOT of company among the liberals/leftists.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-09-05 ("Gore-Clark 2008")

The DUmmies have put their collective heads together and came up with the “dream” political ticket for the next presidential election as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Gore-Clark 2008.” Okay, this might not be the absolute WORST ticket since Gore-Evil Elf would exceed it as a political disaster but it is close. I am really looking forward to the Gore-Clark 2008 campaign. Already I can envision Gore screeching ala “HE BETRAYED US!!!” while the buttons go popping off his jacket due to his enormous weight gain. As to Clark, it is always fun to count how few times the fired ex-general’s eyes blink. BTW, no way the Clintons would ever permit their puppet, Clark, to run on a ticket with Gore but let the DUmmies dream on. The wild DUmmie political strategizing is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking forward to this 2008 comedy act, is in the [brackets]:

Gore-Clark 2008. Gore has the name recognition and the following, and his Presidency was interrupted by a corrupt Supreme Court. He is owed, besides the fact that he is probably the best political candidate - at the very least one of the very best political candidates - that Democrats have.

[If Algore is the best candidate you have then the Democrats are in worse trouble than I thought.]

General Wesley Clark I can't say enough good things about. He was my clear choice throughout the primaries from start to finish. Unfortunately he has no experience in elected office and not nearly the name recognition or political following that a long-time national figure like Gore has. The Vice-Presidency will give him that experience, which really does matter, and the exposure too. I have no doubt that under Gore he, like Gore under Clinton, would be a highly involved VP and not Quaylish window dressing. I look at VP seasoning as a positive consideration, not an obstacle. For fellow Clark fans, that means 16 years topside instead of just 8, assuming things work out, so not to fret.

[Clark is rumored to have blinked twice in 2004.]

that 's really the ticket I'm hoping to see.

[Me too!]

I like Hillary a lot, but Gore would be a better candidate. I am glad you posted this. I thought I was the only one who hadn't forgotten him.

[Gone but not forgotten. Ah, the fond memories: Space alien orange makeup. Huffing and puffing like a shmuck in the middle of a debate. “No controlling legal authority.” Prosthetic crotch enhancers. Deep throating Tipper in front of millions. “HE BETRAYED US!!!” Yes, bring back Al. So maybe he will come back a few sizes bigger but that will make him even FUNNIER!]

"Party of the People." That should be our theme.

[How original! Let’s see. That theme has been rehashed by the Democrats for every election for about the last 70 years.]

Done. Lets do it! Couldn't be better leaders at a better time.

[Best comedy team ever!]

I'm just afraid that Gore has the "sore loser nutcase" label.

[Really??? Wherever did you get such a strange idea?]

After he "lost" the 2000 election he disappeared, grew the big beard and that's when they started the insanity bullshit. You saw how the corporate media took the clips of his speeches when he was impassioned and played them off like he was nuts. I think Gore might be considered damaged goods.

[Yeah, those “HE BETRAYED US!!!” rantings were altered to just make Gore appear to be nuts when he really delivered the speeches in a calm, deliberate manner.]

Maybe now that Dems finally seem to have woken up about playing nice vs smear politics, we'll smear back. I know I will.

[I know you will smear too. You’ve already had plenty of practice at it.]

Well the policy speeches he gave last year were taken out of context. The media played only the parts where he was very angry and loud and ran them over and over and implied that he was insane.

[Yeah. Gore only APPEARED to be insane when screeching “HE BETRAYED US!!!” What a bum rap.]

Gore gets into that preacher revival voice too much for my taste. He should learn to save it for a few forceful points and moderate it otherwise.

[And cut out a great comedy routine? No way!]

I don't think speeches from five years earlier will have much relevance, but if you're talking about his speaking style in general, then I agree he should probably tone it down a little. Al has kind of a tin ear when it comes to rousing the rabble.

[Thank you for your constructive advice on rabble rousing.]

The perception of him through the media is that of an unhinged person on the verge of madness. I love Gore but my fear is that the media image of him will stick all too well in the minds of the ignorant.

[It’s so unfair. Algore only suffers from the PERCEPTION of him as an unhinged person on the verge of madness when in actual fact he is as sane as Vincent Van Gogh.]

Why all the fantasy threads when BBV means we can't even vote?

[True. Those Diebold voting machines are already preset for the 2008 election to vote for the Fascist Candidate. We own ALL your BBVs (and your BVDs).]


I don't think many Dems or newbies here at DU even know they can't vote anymore. So I see a lot of hoping to get something from Santa when he's been killed and his body stuffed in the chimney.

[True. Since those BBV machines are already preset for 2008, there is NO NEED to vote then. So just stay home on 2008 Election Day.]

Gore kinda brings to mind an certain awkwardness that's easy to like, but harder to respect (in the physical sense, Goofy comes to mind). Strong leader is not what I see before my eyes when I see Gore.

[But Funny is what I see when I see Gore. DEFINITELY funny!]

If Dean can't improve his image with mainstream America, then Gore is definately finished goods, because he endorsed Dean. And they are wedded and tied at the hip.

[I’m trying to figure out what is funnier: the Dean Scream or the Gore Screech?]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-08-05 ("Billboard Blitz to Rub Salt in Our Wounds")

DUmmie feelings have been hurt because of a billboard thanking the jaded Leftist Hollywood celebs for helping make the Bush re-election victory possible as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Billboard Blitz to Rub Salt in Our Wounds.” The DUmmies thoughtfully provided us with the text of the HUMAN EVENTS ARTICLE which describes the billboard that they are outraged about. As usual the outraged DUmmie Crybabying is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the Hollyweird scene from atop the billboard, is in the [brackets]:

Billboard Blitz to Rub Salt in Our Wounds: Look at the BILLBOARDS citizensunited.org is planning on displaying in Hollywood during the month of February, and near the Academy Awards ceremony. Not only are these people Criminal, they're also CRUEL!! Does anybody doubt now that we are being TOO NICE?! We need our own Billboards & they need to tell America THE TRUTH about ELECTION FRAUD!!

[Put up your own billboard about “Election Fraud. We need the comedy relief. And now let us read the Human Events article you provided about the billboard that caused you to throw a conniption fit…]

HUMAN EVENTS has learned that a billboard blitz "thanking" Hollywood for the reelection of President Bush will be unveiled early next week.

The advertisements feature the faces of liberal Hollywood icons Michael Moore, Whoopi Goldberg, Ben Affleck, Martin Sheen, Chevy Chase, Barbara Streisand, and Sean Penn, and offer thanks to Hollywood their help getting President Bush reelected.

Two versions of the billboard were created, both "thanking" Hollywood -- the first for "4 more years" and the second for "W. Still President."

Billboard creator Citizens United, a group that advocates a return to traditional American values, has purchased the use of three billboards near the Kodak Theatre (home of the Academy Awards) for the month of February, which includes Oscar Night, Sunday, February 27.

[BRILLIANT!!! Plus all the DUmmie and Leftist outrage is SURE to give the billboards ADDED publicity!]

This is insane. Can these folks do anything about this false advertizing??

[Only if the celebs DID support Bush in 2004. Something they would NEVER admit.]

Freedom of speech is a bitch, ain't it? Quakerfriend, the billboard is not "advertising" anything. It is not offering goods or service to the public. Therefore, no "false advertising." The billboards in question are an expression of political speech, paid for the speaker. As such, they are protected by the First Amendment. Your political opponents have the same freedom and protection to speak that you do. If you wanted to, you could rent that same billboard, put up a sign that says, "We wuz robbed!" with a picture of Bush dressed like the Hamburglar, and get your message out. Maybe you should start a fundraiser!

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Politically polarizing statements in view of public thoroughfares create a distraction among drivers in general and make roadways less safe for the general public. There's your argument for banning overtly political speech on billboards. Advertising is fine, slogans of a 'soft' nature are fine, but please... nothing that would make certain people- on either side, right or left- white with rage. That has no place on the roads.

[That’s a new one. Ban political free speech because it might cause vehicular accidents.]

They won't last a week................in Tinsel Town. Either that or they'll be "altered" to make bush look like the idiot he is. There are some fantastic billboard freelancers in Cali, I'm sure these won't go unscathed.

[Hmmm….Why do I think that some Freepers will be watching those billboards like hawks this month 24/7 in order to catch DUmmie billboard defacers in the act?]

Let's all say it together: "Sore winners" The repukes are just flat-out DAMAGED. They've grabbed all the power, and STILL they're angry and defensive, hostile and bitter. It's pathalogical, it really is.

[Actually they just enjoy a good bellylaugh at the expense of the DUmmies. And your outrage just makes the laughing even better.]

They are absolutely DERANGED and PATHOLOGICAL.

[Laughing AT DUmmies must be legislated into law as a Thought Crime.]

they have 2 do this because they know they R in a weakened position. The election was rigged. They know it, we know it and they know that we know, so they have 2 continuously remind people every chance they get.

[You’re on a roll! Don’t stop your comedy shtick just yet.]

The nice thing is that they will not enjoy a moment of peace knowing that they didn't really win the election! BILLBOARDS...YES...could be the answer for us too!!

[May I recommend an “I BELIEVE” themed billboard?]

balloons filled with red paint will quickly put an end to that BS.

[Ballons filled with red paint will quickly make you cellmates to lonely hardcore prisoners who are just waiting for you to bend over to pick up the shower room soap.]

I think they ARE trying to instigate the Hollywood people to become more pro-active, because in their pin heads they are convinced the Hollywood types actually help them get votes.

[The Democrats are just one more Springsteen concert away from extinction.]

Too funny! These billboards will be up during the Oscars and you know they'll get alot of coverage.

[Absolutely so wipe that smile off your face you LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I am going to puke.

[Keep barfing. It’s only going to get worse for the DUmmies.]


please post this in the ca forum. when they get hit with the paint bombs, or whatever, i want to see the pics. and we have to be prepared to contribute to the defense of any partiots that get in trouble over it.

[Note to CitizensUnited.Org: Have video cameras trained on and around those billboards 24/7. Freeper patrols would be helpful too. (And too bad if the paint bombs end up covering the DUmmies in Bolshevik Red.)]

Yep, all those Hollywood Dems need to get some of those.......paintball guns and do a little target shooting! LOL

[SMILE! You’re on CANDID CAMERA! Now you’re OFF TO JAIL!!!]

Unfortunately, their tactics are winning more senators & congressman/woman for them. I guess the masses are not as smart as we
think. They can only understand childish tactics. Our schools need to do a better job of educating the masses.

[Send the masses to the Che Guevara Day Care Center.]

In LA, I give those billboards a day. Tops.

[I give any potential billboard defacer a day, tops, to stay out of jail. Thanx for putting CitizensUnited.Org on the alert, DUmmies!]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-08-05 (Susan Sarandon: DUmmie Political Guru)

You know the Left is in big trouble when they look upon Hollywood actress, Susan Sarandon, as some sort of political guru as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Susan Sarandon on CSpan nailed it, the Dems need to understand the difference in beliefs between rurals and urbans.” What next for the DUmmies? Will they look to Bianca Jagger for campaign advice? Maybe Madonna will be seen as a source for religious inspiration. OH WAIT! She already is looked upon as an expert in metaphysics with her watered down celeb Kabbala routine. While we are at it, does anybody know the DUmmie screen name of Julia Roberts? As usual, the star-struck DUmmie reality challenged comments are in Bolshevik Red while the comments of your humble correspondent, fondly hoping for Susan Sarandon to make her obligatory bare breast scene, is in the [brackets]:

Susan Sarandon on CSpan nailed it, the Dems need to understand the difference in beliefs between rurals and urbans ...I couldn't agree more and that was so evident in the Dem campaign effort in Nevada this past year.

[And what was Susan Sarandon’s view of the voter turnout in Clarke County, Ohio? Did she say anything about the bridge bond issue on the November ballot in Missouri. And where does she stand on the slot machine issue in Florida?]

What you need to know about Republican suburbanites. They have a gated community mentality. They have blocked out the world, so it no longer plays a role in their daily lives. It they can't see it, it doesn't exist.

[Yes. Just down the street from me is a development called “Republican Gated Community. All food and services are delivered to them so they never have to leave.]

Also, The Subset Known As Homeschoolers. Lots Of Very Insular Families with no working model for dealing with the Real World. The Real World being where there are gays, blacks, secularists etc.

[Shame on you for not mentioning the Otherly Gendered.]

You don't know the half of it with those homeschoolers. They have a mindset that the public school is full of evil, lustful kids. I read an article in a newspaper about a homeschooler who was allowed to play on a sports team in a public school. They went overboard saying that she was the nicest one on the team and how she was cleaning up everybody else's language. And, unfortunately, they took out of context a remark made by one of the other players which was meant to be said jokingly, about how they tried to corrupt her, but couldn't. It was a very badly written article that made the rest of the team sound like sluts. I can't imagine there was much camaraderie after that article was printed.

[Maybe she needs to be homeschooled by Madonna to cure this student of her good habits.]

Your comment is among the least informed things I've ever seen written about homeschooled children. How incredibly rude! Thank goodness my children weren't raised in the type of insular, removed, narrow-minded environment that produced someone capable of such a statement. Thank goodness they were homeschooled.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I just hope that you realize that you need to make up for the social isolation that your homeschooling decision will inflict on your kids. I don't doubt that they can make the grade, but do they really understand that "diversity" is not a communist plot, but a divine reality? That's a rhetorical question because I'm finished with this thread.

[The worst social isolation is when you look to DUmmieland for inspiration and consider actress Susan Sarandon to be some sort of political genius.]

what needs to be understood is how the Rove machine ..makes the poor rurals feel like they can be part of that same team. Watch "Silver City", it moves slowly but the Dreyfus character nails it on the nose.

[Sorry, I’ve never seen “Silver City.” Perhaps I shall rent the video so I can become as politically informed by a Hollywood production as you have been.]

The Democrats need to get serious and not rely on Hollywood actors/actresses to be their spokesmen. It's a bit embarassing.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Sarandon is just an over the hill actress.

[True but aren’t her breasts still remarkably well-preserved?]

Sarandon and Robbins have every right to speak. I just don't think they help the Democratic party when they do. Their views are naive and make Democrats look foolish.

[No! No! I say make them KEYNOTE SPEAKERS at the 2008 Democrat Convention.]

Susan Sarandon sounds angry, high pitched and overly complicated. She has a long way to become a politician.

[Good! Good! Feature more of her on the tube so she can alienate even more people.]

Have you seen the West Wing episode "20 Hours in America"? It basically does a great job of re-iterating exactly what you just said. To sum it up, two senior advisors to the President (who is a liberal Democrat) find themselves stranded in rural Indiana with one of their assistants. These two senior advisors are the very definition of the "liberal elite" and the whole time they are trying to figure out why people in Indiana are stupid enough to vote for the President's opponent. In the last few minutes, the assistant (who is much more down to earth) says that she wants to bang their heads together. In all of their arguing about political strategy they never stopped to realize how kind the people had been to them and how nobody had even brought up politics except for them and hinted that maybe the reason that they don't win votes in rural Indiana is that they try to tell people what is best, they don't listen to them because they think that they are stupid.

[The DUmmies have “progressed” from being politically inspired by Susan Sarandon to finding a road map to political strategy in “The West Wing.” I’m surprised they haven’t discovered how to be effective in Capitol Hill politics from the quickly cancelled “Mister Sterling.” Oh well, perhaps they can convince Josh Brolin to quit beating up his wife long enough to give them political advice.]

My point is that although Susan Sarandon has every right to speak out as do all hollywood types, it doesn't help the dems get the rural or "Heartland" vote.

[Why not? Wasn’t Susan Sarandon’s hubby, Tim Robbins, born and raised in Greenwich Village? Couldn’t the Village be considered some sort of rustic, almost rural locale?]

Maybe some in rural areas and the south should reconsider some of THEIR ways. Maybe it's time they understood that gays and lesbians SHOULDN't be second class citizens, that being pro choice isn't being pro abortion.

[Maybe the rural folks need to use Paris Hilton as a role model.]

I think a compromise on the gun issue would go a long way in securing rural votes. It would be great if they could open their minds. But many rural people don't have computers or don't use their computers to find out the real news.

[Most rural people don’t even have electricity or even know what it is.]

Rural people need "sound bites", something simple and easy to remember.

[Speak to them in pigeon English with easy to understand single vowels.]

Rural people may not know about stuff, but they are just as human and just as capable of being moved by factual information about the GRAVE injustices being perptuated by this administration.

[“Hello you simple-minded hick farmers! You might not know about stuff but we are here to inform you about the GRAVE injustices perpetrated by the Fascist Bush Regime.”]

They don't have the coffee shops to go to in many small towns anymore. They probably wouldn't be caught dead in a Starbucks. They don't get together like they used to to talk about the issues that concern their daily lives.

[Um… Actually there are LOTS of coffee shops in rural America. Just check out any truck stop. Maybe it isn’t Starbucks latte being served but it IS coffee.]

I think it's time for a little old-fashioned class war.

[Your Bolshevik Red is shining even brighter than normal.]

Damn! I missed it! I did see her on Bill Maher late in the last season talking about vote fraud and Maher blew her off.

[Wasn’t it the other way around?]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-07-05 ("Is anyone else here appalled by the nationalism in the Super Bowl?")

Falling into a coma while watching a Super Bowl game is a strange experience. It happened to me last night. Yesterday afternoon I came down with a cold that got worse and worse. By the time the Super Bowl started I was barely on the conscious side of comatose while lying on my couch trying to watch the game. Basically I was falling into and out of consciousness during the first half of the game, barely aware of what was real and what wasn’t. My last lucid thought about the Super Bowl was the ceremony honoring the veterans, including the military currently serving in Afghanistan and Iraq. At that point I JUST KNEW this was going to irk the DUmmies as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Is anyone else here appalled by the nationalism in the Super Bowl?” As usual, the DUmmie whines are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, still recuperating from a touch of the flu, is in the [brackets]:

Is anyone else here appalled by the nationalism in the Super Bowl?

[Gee. I wonder what the answer to that question is going to be? Such a toughie.]

yes my husband. he just turned off the superbowl to watch sci-fi channel.

[What was on the sci-fi channel? “Attack of the Forty Foot Bolshevik?”]

The false appearance of national unity the fraudulent linkage of a sordid colonial war to WWII. If our national prestige could fall any lower with our traditional allies this will do it.

[Yeah. Our traditional allies are going to be influenced by the Super Bowl.]

I know, it's insulting to those who fought in WWII for them to use WWII to glorify the imperialist wars of Iraq and Afghanistan.

[I thought the Democrat talking point was that being in Afghanistan was correct but Iraq was wrong. Thanx for the clarification since you have shown that the DUmmies think even going after Al-Qaeda in Afghanistan was bad.]

I'm glad I am not watching it. I used to be a loyal football fan--no more. I suspected this fascist overview would reign--sports events are susceptable to propagandist devices now. If it is true--I shy away, much as I like sports.

[Maybe you should become a curling fan.]

It's the 1936 Berlin Olympics Redux

[And that is Leni Riefenstahl’s camera you’re feeling up your butt.]

amazed. disgusted. and somewhat sickened. kind of like Germany and the nazi Olympics... or what I would have expected in communist Russia in the days of old...spreading the "freedom" bs a bit thick and deep and the militaristic rah-rahs gave me a nauseating jolt. have turned off the telly at this point. Frankly i would have preferred another Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction...

[This year we were treated to a DUmmie mental malfunction.]

IT IS SICKENING... I used to live in Jacksonville and I can't believe the way in which the bush fascist empire has taken over a previously incredibly healthy get together sports time in jacksonville...There will be true celebration on the streets of MURRRIKKKAHHHH the day the bush fascist empire falls...as it has always happened anywhere when dictatorships of the right or of the left fall.

[Election Day must have been tough for you. Very tough.]

The Super Bowl is tonight? Wow, guess I just forgot....Have they scored any home runs yet?

[No but the hockey puck got slammed into your head.]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-04-05 (DUmmies OUTRAGED At Being Labeled "Extremist")

As we have seen over and over and over again in edition after edition of the DUmmie FUnnies, the DUmmies are far left wackos. For proof one need either just pick a DUFU edition at random (including yesterday’s incredible DUmmie rant) or almost any thread in DUmmieland. Therefore it is hilarious that the DUmmies are OUTRAGED over being labeled as an extremist organization of the Left as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “DU is on par with Aryan Nation?” The DUmmies were labeled extremist on a par with Aryan Nation on this EXTREMIST ORGANIZATIONS website. The outraged EXTREMIST DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Notice that Free Republic isn't listed. That site has no credibility.

[Actually the site has great credibility. Take a look at your fellow Dummies’ posts, DUmmie. Just yesterday some Dummie posted a thread stating that Bush was not only worse than Hitler but was worse than just about every dictator ever. Of course, Lenin and Stalin were left off that list since the DUmmie probably considers them to be “progressives.”]

This is a horseshit website. Who cares what these assholes think? FreeRepublic is probably the sponsors. Absolute horseshit.

[Excuses, excuses. Just look in the mirror to see extremism.]

DU is just liberal. I don't even think a fifth of us would qualify as "leftists".

[HUH? And all this time the DUmmies have been denying they are liberals. I don’t even think a fifth of you would qualify as “rational.”]

I would like to wrest control back from the NEOCONS. Is THAT radical? IS THAT FUCKING GROUP ON THE LIST? PNAC? American Enterprise? If neither of those are, this list has zero credibility.

[What was that you said about not being extremist? Some obscure think tank and you get worked up into a mouth frothing RAGE at the mere mention of its name.]

very disturbing extremist is not what DU is.. skinner needs to respond

[Skinner needs to remove 95% of the DUmmie threads in order to avoid that extremist label.]

No need to respond to this crap. What a waste of time that would be. Of course we're not extremist - the creator of that website probably took one look at the word underground and jumped to conclusions.

[Or maybe he read this DUmmie post from just YESTERDAY: “He is the most despicable person I can imagine, even looking back on world history. NO ONE is worse than he is. Not Hitler. Not Genghis Khan. Not Hannibal. Not Napoleon. No One. Not Lucifer himself.”]

They have international a.n.s.w.e.r. listed as a neo-stalinist group.

[Well, um, if you don’t think A.N.S.W.E.R. isn’t extremist then Dummieland must not be since they share almost identical viewpoints.]

Um, A.N.S.W.E.R. IS a neo-Stalinist group. Don't know about the rest of what the site says (haven't looked yet) but ANSWER is what it is.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Can't say i'm a fan of the worker's world party but ANSWER is still fine in my book.

[As I stated before, A.N.S.W.E.R. and DUmmieland are almost identical in their viewpoints.]

Some of the 9/11 theories floating around here are pretty strange. The site varies a great deal, but there are some very odd posts from time to time.

[Yeah. Like all those DUmmies agreeing with Ward Churchill that the 9-11 victims were “little Eichmans.” And you still don’t think DUmmieland is extremist?]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-03-05 (INSANE DUmmie RAGE At Bush SOTU Speech)

The insane rage of the DUmmies sparked by last night’s State of the Union Address by President Bush will take your breath away as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “My take on the crying mother of the Marine.” Little of the DUmmie ranting is actually about the mother of the marine since most of it is nothing but blind insane animalistic FURY directed at Bush. We lead off with the absolutely loco raging of DUmmie Husb2Sparkly followed by other hateful DUmmie commentary in Bolshevik Red. The commentary of your humble correspondent, gasping for breath at the intense DUmmie hate, is in the [brackets]:

First, I admit to not really watching Chimpus Khan's State of the Reich blather. I specifically planned to replace a faulty light fixture tonight so I would not have to watch it. I knew Sparkly would want to cuz she likes to watch her enemies. Anyway, it was on and I came into the room just as the woman was crying and holding her husband. I did not hear who they were or why they were there. I found out only after the speech.

[You need to replace your faulty fixture in your brain, DUmmie Husb2Sparkly. Not only did you not hear who the woman and her husband were, you didn’t really care. You just wanted to coldly use them to segue into your HATE Bush rant. So continue with the ranting…]

If I had the tragic misfortune of having lost a child to this senseless and evil imperialism and saw that stage managed PR stunt - and that is ALL it was - I would be raging more than I am now.

[It is a bit hard to imagine how you could rage more than you are about to, DUmmie Husb2Sparkly, so let ‘er rip…]

How DARE that mother f*cking, low life, c*ck s*cking, sh*t head, self involved, incurious, inflexible, moronic looking, simpleton asshole, simian appearing, sperm lottery winning, son of a warmonger warmonger, toady, dictatorial, reptilian, intellectual midget, f*ckwad, pissant, arrogant, snickering, emotionless, manipulative, dickhead, sh*t licking, slothful, avaricious, traitorous, lazy, bedwetter use the grief of a real person to further his agenda?

[WHEW! Don’t hold back, DUmmie Husb2Sparkly. Continue with your spew.]

Were I the parent of a lost soldier I would be outraged beyond belief. He pulls that stunt for the pure PR value and we're supposed to think he cares about the troops as anything more than cannon fodder? We're supposed to think he cares about the troops or their families as people? he has NEVER gotten his sorry, warty ass to one - NOT F*CKING ONE - funeral of a fallen soldier.

[Methinks the President has been to many MORE military funerals (away from the cameras) than you ever thought of going to, DUmmie Husb2Sparkly. But don’t this stop you from spitting out your venom. Continue...]

He is the most despicable person I can imagine, even looking back on world history. NO ONE is worse than he is. Not Hitler. Not Genghis Khan. Not Hannibal. Not Napoleon. No One. Not Lucifer himself.

[Worse than Pee Wee Herman even? Let us make sure your Hannibal Lecter face mask is firmly secure so you can continue with your blind rage…]

NO ONE IN ALL OF HISTORY is worse than this twit who has become the single most powerful and feared man on earth.

[Yes, yes. Worse than Saddam even. Now take another handful of Meds so you can continue screeching…]

How Dare He Use Those People?

He's a Bush.

That's how he dares.

The very *best* of that whole f*cking clan is pond scum. And they go down from there.

They've stolen our country. They've anally raped the world.

And that woman who cried on cue? How stupid must she be? To allow herself to be used.

Anger and amazement.

[Right now I’m feeling anger and amazement at how quickly you slammed that marine’s mother right on the heels of proclaiming false sympathy for her for your own political agenda of blindly hating Bush.]

God, please end this nightmare. PLEASE GOD. End it NOW. The world will not last for as long as this junta might remain in power.

[Well, we know your mind hasn’t lasted even this long, DUmmie Husb2Sparkly. And now let us watch as the other DUmmies cluck in sympathy with your highly acidic bile.]

I couldn't bring myself to watch either. Unlike you, I prefer to economize on adjectives and I, too, might run out of them if I had bothered to watch. Part of me wants to resist everything he does and part just wants to let him do it all and see how loved he is then. I do look forward to the day I can look at people who supported him and say, "I TOLD YOU SO."

[The Iraq elections came off smoothly and with much popular support---“I TOLD YOU SO.”]

tell us how you really feel!!....my sentiments exactly..thank you for saying what i have been screaming in my home..the tv is on borrowed time..any minute now the shoes are going through the screen!!

[DUmmie flyarm admitting to being as NUTTY as Dummie Husb2Sparkly. Perhaps they share the same Meds.]

Dandy rant!!! I'm proud of you. Wish I was as articulate.

[Try primal screaming and beating your head senselessly into a brick wall for practice so you can be as “articulate as DUmmie Husb2Sparkly.]

You should have listened to William Pitt. I did what he did. Turn the bastard off. Turn you back on the little simian.

[That probably won’t stop Pied Piper Pitt from eventually pontificating on the Bush SOTU speech. But then sheer ignorance has never stopped him before.]

I am so broken mentally by this regime that I have a hard time to get going on a good rant.

[Don’t worry, DUmmie Husb2Sparkly can pick up the slack.]

I couldn't watch the obscenity, & I'm pissed at the American people for not stopping this f*cking demon in a suit.

[Thus spaketh Dummie mopaul, a vile bile spewer of much reknown.]

I can't stand to be around anyone ...who doesn't think exactly like you. Anyone who does not see the utter corruption of the Bush corporate cabal is stupid beyond redemption.

[This message of tolerance was brought to you by DUmmie tabasco.]

Very appropriate description of the Evil War Monkey King!

[Isn’t that how the CBC up in Canada also describes Bush?]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-02-05 (DUmmies Defend 9-11 Nutty Professor)

The DUmmies like to portray themselves as “progressive Democrats.” That is their public mask. To see just how FAR GONE they REALLY are, one needs only to read this edition of the DUFUs in which the DUmmies actually defend the University of Colorado professor who compared the 9-11 victims to “little Eichmans” as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Controversial CU prof resigns as department chair (over 9-11 essay).” This thread starts out with an article excerpt about the Nutty Professor followed by the equally NUTTY DUmmies defending him. The Nutty DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

University of Colorado professor Ward Churchill, under fire for comparing victims of the Sept. 11 World Trade Center attack to Nazis, resigned today as chairman of CU's ethnic studies department but will continue on as a teacher…

"I have never characterized all the Sept. 11 victims as Nazis. What I said was that the 'technocrats of empire' working in the World Trade Center were the equivalent of 'little Eichmanns.' Thus it was obviously not directed to the children, janitors, food service workers, firemen and random passers-by killed in the 9-1-1 attack," Churchill said.

Churchill said he isn't a "defender" of the Sept. 11 attacks, but meant to point out that if U.S. foreign policy results in massive death and destruction abroad, "we cannot feign innocence when some of the destruction is returned."

In Churchill's essay, he said the Pentagon was a military target, "pure and simple."

"As to those in the World Trade Center ... Well, really. Let's get a grip here, shall we? True enough, they were civilians of a sort. But innocent? Gimme a break. They formed a technocratic corps at the very heart of America's global financial empire - the 'mighty engine of profit' to which the military dimension of U.S. policy has always been enslaved."

[Talk about an absolutely indefensible position! However, FEAR NOT, the DUmmies WILL defend the Nutty Professor as you can see in the following responses.]

Sad pathetic man gives RWer's tons of material. Wish you could have retroactively stepped down and never published this insipid nonsense…Thanks for marginalizing all on the Left who disagree with Bush's policies.

[So the Nutty Professor’s real sin wasn’t what he said but the fact that he gave ammunition to the “righwingers.”]

I think this prof put it a little clumsilly but to say the wealthy investment bankers/stock traders etc working in the WTC were CLEARLY benefitting from the foreign policies actions (bombing/torturing/theiving etc) of the US, he's not wrong, I wouldn't have gone there but the point is actually valid. You can't just expect that ONLY the rulers of a nation be accountable for the actions of that country - EVERYONE in it has some culpability, how many Americans were protesting their taxes helping to pay for military hardware that kills innocent childern in Palestine? How many people stopped buying gas? how many people gave a shit about Abu Ghraib? Cetainly the Pentagon was a FAR FAR more legit target than pretty much ANYTHING the US bombed in Iraq.

[So you completely agree with the Nutty Professor except you think he expressed himself “clumsilly.” Thanx for expressing your absolute hatred of America in a less “clumsilly” manner.]

What people don't want to look at is the totality....of violence,ecological devastation,torture etc. that are the predominant features of the misnamed America. Churchill is right and if he states it point blank it makes the knees quiver of those who hang on to vestiges of this fuzzy psycopathic American Fairy Tale.

[Thus spaketh a fussy psycopathic DUmmie mind.]

Bin Laden may be from a very priviledged background - but do you think all his supporters are? do you think he'd HAVE that many supporters were it not for issues like the US presencce in and support for a repressive monarchy in Saudi, the occupation of Palestine etc etc.

[The DUmmie branch of Al Qaeda has spoken.]

Your agreement of Ward's despot-like "collective guilt" of the Americans is far more in common with Nazi exterminators and the frontier soldiers who looked at Jews and Native Americans as a group that was collectively guilty. He displays the same attitude regardig the American people who dared go to work on Tuesday, 9/11/2001 to get a paycheck-blame of the victim.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Not many people are going to support ward churchill but that doesn't mean he isn't right. read his stuff then source his material-he's right. his research is meticulous. many on the left also remain in wilfull denial of the numerous american holocausts and how fluid and constant these processes are. we're on the same side brother peace to you and for the children of Iraq.

[DUmmie supporting the Nutty Professor as the “underdog.”]

He's right about most everything and if he comes across as caustic too bad. The lily-livered left needs a cold slap in the face to awaken to what's grabbing their throat and cooking their children. Stop living the lie that is America.

[And the rest of us need a cold slap in the face as to the REAL views of the DUmmies. Thanx for providing it.]

Anyone who defends him anywhere is simply beyond the pale of decency, as is he.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I think that when making a point that may be true but incredibly unpopular, one would do themself a favor to tone it down a bit, but I think his basic point is completely correct.

- The Pentagon WAS an appropriate military target.

- America is definitely responsible for quite a bit of suffering in the world, so we can't cry foul when someone strikes back.

[-DUmmie livinginphotographs IS an appropriate target for our scorn for posting this idiocy.]

in the americans calculus 9-11 takes on a meaning distorted exponentially. nothing changed after 9-11-the West continues it's assault on the rest of the brown-skinned world to steal their goods. same old song.

[DUmmie Poe weighing in with his 9-11 non-thoughts.]

WTC was a legitimate war target. Hit the economic engine and the military engine. Realistically, you can't defeat an enemy if you haven't accurately defined the enemy and the enemy's strategies. As long as we act as if terrorists are just hitting targets randomly, we waste defense money. So even putting aside the truth of backlash due to corporatism, the professor is right to put the attacks into proper perspective. I'd rather that then this continued flopping around like fish defending some bizarre notion that they hate us because we're free to drive to the beach or some such stupidity.

[DUmmie sandnsea, a graduate of the Che Guevara Day Care Center, foams at the mouth with this “insight.”]

I'm not saying those people deserved to die. Most people go to work and don't think about the consequences of the work they do. It's a paycheck, a means to an end. But the people who hijacked those planes live in places that are on the opposite end of our nation's prosperity--or at least see their own chances for prosperity diminish with every Western company that extracts sweat and natural resources from their country. Desperate people do desperate things. As a whole, Americans like to think we live good lives if we don't go home and slap our spouse around. And that's true. But we ignore the consequences of our actions, our employment, in the larger world and then are surprised when that comes back to us. Churchill is saying that we need to wake up to the way in which we act in the world, not just in our own day-to-day circles. 9-11 was a tragedy, to be sure, but on reflection, it should have been expected and we should own up to our complicity in it.

[DUmmie intheflow declaring the 9-11 victims to be collateral damage caused by American corporate greed.]

In pure military target terms. Disrupting a country's economy is a military strategy. That's why the WTC is a legitimate military target.

[Another mouth foamer from Dummie sandnsea.]

I wonder how this professor would feel if one of his family members or friends was in one of those buildings.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-01-05 ("What if everyone registered on DU pulled all their assets from the banks?")

DUmmie GoatHead, in an HILARIOUS act of bloated self-importance, pathetically asks if by pulling all their assets from the banks the DUmmies could crash the economic system. Since most of the DUmmie bank accounts in question are Piggy Banks, I doubt the DUmmies would have ANY effect on the economic system. However, at least such delusional speculation provides for some great comedy relief as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What if everyone registered on DU pulled all their assets from the banks?” As usual, the wacko DUmmie economic theories are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, waiting and waiting and waiting for the run on the banks, is in the [brackets]:

What if everyone registered on DU pulled all their assets from the banks? 60,000+ people all on the same day divesting themselves of this corrupt system. I think that would have quite an affect on our economic system. Would it trigger a crash?

[I hate to cut off your drool flow at the thought of causing an economic crash, Dummie Goathead, but that dopey plan would have no more chance of crashing the economy than 60,000 DUmmies simultaneously soiling their diapers.]

Why would anyone want to do such a thing?

[Delusional self importance; immaturity; insanity; and helpless rage to name just a few dopey reasons.]

Its easy enough, I suppose, to forget that lots of regular people will be hurt in such a financial firestorm.

[The only people hurt by such an action would be folks walking barefoot on broken DUmmie Piggy Banks.]

lol lol i was thinking the same, and then what do we do with our money

[Shove it where the moon don’t shine. Two cents would easily fit in that crack.]

atleast half have been tombstoned freepers about 20,000 lurkers, 5,000 uncaught freepers and 5,000 True DUers

[That 60,000 figure bandied about by DUmmie Goathead is more overinflated than his swollen head. And I think your 5000 figure for True DUmmies might even be an overestimate.]

I'm not asking why, I'm asking "what if". As in corporatists use their money against the masses why not reverse the situation.

[And I’m asking “what if” you bring your overly medicated brain back to this space-time continuum, DUmmie Goathead.]

look at the L.A. riots after the Rodney King verdict. The catalyst behind that was a "routine" traffic stop. Los Angeles was on fire for days, people were barricading their neighborhoods and standing watch on top of there houses with shotguns.

[Wipe that anticipatory drool from your bib, DUmmie Goathead. Apocalyptic anarchy will NOT happen if you and a handful of your fellow DUmmies smash your Piggy Banks on the floor.]

I believe that you have a huge segment of the population that is disenfranchised by Bush and his policies. What will be the match that ignites this powder keg or will their be one? There is a lot of energy that those on the left are suppressing, a lot of anger and hatred for Bush.

[What will be the match that ignites this powder keg? Most likely you screeching helplessly for a diaper change, DUmmie Goathead.]

Per haps the mere mention of action like this may be the spark that triggers change. Though many would identify it as heresy or even treason.

[How about identifying it as extreme immaturity, DUmmie Goathead?]

What if we all just bounced checks? At least that doesn't require me to go to the bank.

[Yeah. Don’t knock yourself out while futilely trying to bring down the entire economic system.]

sorry to say...but 60,000 out of 200,000,000 is not even a blip on the radar...

[Make that about 3000 out of 200,000,000. The other 57,000 “DUmmies” are either tombstoned Freepers or active LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS.]

Crash? Of the economy? You must be kidding. Most of our assets are not liquid, and those that are, make up a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, fraction of the economy.

[Don’t discourage DUmmie Goathead. I want to see him smash his Piggy Bank and then laugh like hell watching him wonder why he wasn’t able to bring about a financial apocalypse.]

All of us combined, along with every extended family member we could muster and all their friends thrown in for good measure probably wouldn't warrant a statistical blip on the nation's true wealth

[All of your DUmmie assets combined don’t amount to a pimple on a pig’s ass.]

It could trigger a "run on the banks"

[You’re drowning in your own drool, DUmmie Goathead.]

So you want to cause a financial panic? You do know who would get screwed on that don't you? Here's a hint...it wouldn't be the rich. As for the LA riots, what did they accomplish beyond destroying their own neighborhoods?

[You’re actually trying to reason with DUmmie Goathead while he is gleefully irrigating his own diaper in happy anticipation of the coming apocalypse?]

They were actually marauding through the streets of several neighborhoods and nearly made it to Beverly Hills. "The rich" were leaving L.A. in droves.

[Unfortunately your anticipatory drool extinguished those riot fires, DUmmie Goathead. So your plan backfired.]

But we did make a difference with Sinclair through the shareholders. That's the only time I think there has been any effect from activism on the left.

[Okay, we’ll give the DUmmies ONE point for getting Sinclair to back down on a broadcast that ended up NOT affecting the election. And then we will give Karl Rove a MILLION points for WINNING the election and a heap of other political battles.]

How about if I pull all my assets out of Wild Bill's Pawn Shop?

[That means Wild Bill will be out one used condom. Or is the correct term, “preowned condom?"]

DUmmie FUnnies 02-01-05 (DUmmies Whining About Iraq Election Turnout)

It was actually difficult to find this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Guess WHO is behind the "72% turnout" bullshit?” Why? Because as columnist Michelle Malkin has noted, there is VERY LITTLE comment on the Iraq elections in the Leftwing Blogosphere. The Lefties just DON’T KNOW how to handle the enthusiasm of the Iraqis participating in their elections. This goes totally against DUmmie theology in which the U.S.A. are the oppressive occupiers and the terrorists are the freedom fighters. Blowhard Ed Schultz yesterday got all worked up on his radio show slamming conservative commentators for “unfairly” accusing many liberals of not being happy about the Iraqi elections. HEY BLOWHARD ED!!! Try checking out DUmmieland. Although the DUmmies are trying to avoid the whole subject of the Iraqi elections, the few discussions about it are mainly slams against those elections as you can easily see in this edition of the DUFUs. As usual, the DUmmie whining is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Guess WHO is behind the "72% turnout" bullshit?

Hint: "Iraq can launch WMD within 45 minutes".

Need another clue?

He's a former CIA-paid car-bomber terrorist.

Yep you guessed it; Allawi:

Iraqi officials claim turnout has been 72 percent kctv

And lookit the US State Media

Iraq Voter Turnout Placed at 72 Percent ABCNEWS.com

Voter turnout placed at 72% Chicago Tribune

Iraqi election turnout at least 72% amid attacks Santa Fe New Mexican

And Faux Moos, MSNBC, CNN et al.

[I’m surprised that you didn’t mention that KARL ROVE is behind the 72% turnout number.]

I yelled at CNN just now when I heard the 72% bullshit figure. I told my wife, "they'll just pick any old figure out of the air, won't they?" But they WON'T pick just any figure. 90% is unreasonable, 80% sounds like just about everyone, 75% sounds big, but too big, 70% is too close to the US 60% turnout, so they settled on 72%

[Karl Rove sent out that 72% figure. He originally wanted to use 71% but since he just had an uncle celebrate his 72nd birthday, he used the 72% figure to honor his uncle.]

72% is actually reasonable if you figure that the kurds and the shiites turned out in their areas in huge numbers. The real question is what was the turnout in baghdad, where all three groups co-exist. My guess is that it wasn't even close to 72%. But I'm guessing, which is also what I strongly suspect that the 72% number is. Also 72% of what? 72% of registered voters? 72% of eligible voters? 72% of some number we pulled out of our asses? But this is irrelevant. I'm fine with the success of the election.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

How are these #'s possible in a country where the life expectancy is something like 2 decades less than the west. It doesn't make sense. Charlie Rose is saying it now, 60% turnout. that's 60% of the voting age people, and I haven't even heard the voting age discussed. 60% of the voting age people who registered. What percent of the population even registered to vote. I'm about 70 % tired now, and about 43% behind in my studying time. There's about a 99 % chance I'm gonna go to bed without finishing my studying , and I'll probably make no greater than 85% on my tests tomorrow.

[And there is only about a 2% chance that you will ever achieve even a slight semblance of sanity.]


Considering 99 % turned out to vote for Saddam, 72 % sounds like a failure to me.

[Except that under Saddam the option was “vote for me or die.”]

maybe that is just 72% of those who registered to vote...72% of those living in places other than Iraq?

[Maybe you should quit being so OBSESSED about the 72% number. If it turns out that the actual figure is 71.9% then I would expect that there is a 72% chance that you will call for Bush’s impeachment for LYING about that 72% figure.]

72% of the 10% who registered to vote means only 7 of 100 voted.It's yet another example of an intentional deception campaign. Only 10% of Iraqis (in the US, the % is probably even lower in Iraq) actually registered to vote. 72% of that 10% voted which means that merely 7 out of 100 people who could have voted actually cast a vote.

[Your pathetic efforts to discredit the election is quite entertaining. After doing your discrediting comedy shtick, please segue into your juggling act.]

Did anyone really believe that the Iraqi election would be any less of a farce than the recent American one?

[Ah! I KNEW there would be at least one DUmmie trying to discredit BOTH elections. Oh, and we are STILL waiting for that Dummie proof about how the EVIL Republicans stole the Ohio votes.]

CBC quotes an Iragi in Can. saying Bush rigged US election, and now Iraq election. There may well be 72% turnout - but that is just votes. As Stalin said - power goes to the fellow that counts the votes.

[Methinks the previous DUmmie opened up the Iraq/USA election “fraud” floodgates. As Karl Rove said – ALL your bases belong to us.]

Furthermore, Saddam's election occurred at 99 % turnout. So, what exactly does 72 % "turnout" even prove?

[It proves you’re a moron for even using the Saddam election as a valid figure.]

In the North the Kurds were voting like crazy. I'd bet this is where turnout was highest. But the rest of Iraq seems to be basically a noshow.

[The HUGE Shia area in the South is no longer part of Iraq?]

There was NO election in Iraq.

[And John F’ing Kerry was inaugurated as President this past Jan. 20.]

We would have had bigger turnout here in the USA if there wasn't voter suppression at every turn!

[Yeah. Those poor MTV “Rock The Vote” Youth types were suppressed because of being unfairly forced to wait on line for more than 10 minutes when they had important engagements at the local Rave Clubs to go to.]

Why quibble about numbers? When a powerful nation with vast resources invades and occupies another, terrorizes and/or kills thousands of its citizens, installs a puppet government, and then announces that "elections" will be held, those "elections" are, by definition, completely bogus. Swamp Rat has it right. There was no "election" in Iraq. And, I'll go one further. There was no free and fair Presidential election in the US last November either.

[What was that about Blowhard Ed Schultz claiming that liberals also rejoiced in the Iraq elections?]