DUmmie FUnnies 02-22-05 ("Twisted yellow ribbon magnets on cars means...")

Apparently the way to ruin a DUmmies day is for him to see one of those yellow magnetic ribbons supporting our troops on cars. You can see the DUmmie outrage over this at this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Twisted yellow ribbon magnets on cars means...‘I support the Republican/Bu$h/NeoCON agenda and all you anti-war, liberal, commie motherf*ckers can rot in hell. Praise the lord.’” As usual, DUmmie Road Rage over those magnetic ribbons is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

Twisted yellow ribbon magnets on cars means..."I support the Republican/Bu$h/NeoCON agenda and all you anti-war, liberal, commie motherf*ckers can rot in hell. Praise the lord."

[Actually it means, “I support the Troops and all you angry DUmmies can stew in your own bile in Dummieland.”]

the wingnuts have developed a unique "fetish" for them. However, many of us also know what it's "supposed" to stand for. I can see the confusion, with Tony Orlando wrapping one around an oak tree or something. Isn't he a repug?

[He could be a “repug” or, even worse, a Freeper.]

A friend stole one and put it on my car. He put it right above the "When Clinton lied, nobody died" sticker, and next to my Veteran for Kerry Sticker.

[I would have loved to have seen the expression on your face when you saw that ribbon on your car.]

In my neck of the woods (45min outside Phila), those magnets are overwhelmingly on SUVs and redneck v8 trucks. Now, how are you supporting the troops when you're funding terrorism by sucking up petroleum?

[The Iraqi oil fields NO LONGER belong to the terrorists. That’s how.]

There are the yellow ones and then there are the red, white, and blue ones. My guess is, at least around here (NY), the yellow means support our troops and BRING THEM HOME. The red, white and blue are the * supporters.

[The red, white, and blue ones are like the yellow ones on steroids.]

i got so sick of seeing them with the little fishys on the cars

[A lethal combo to your mental health.]

Would it get me off the hook a bit if I explain that I live in San Diego county and all I see these ribbons on are god awful SUV's and construction trucks full of rednecks?

[Full of rednecks working hard for a living. Completely at odds with the typical basement dwelling DUmmie.]

I Just Got Back From A Visit To San Diego How F*cking Depressing. The weather was gorgeous but that was the ONLY thing besides my children that I enjoyed. What a zombie town full of Rednecks and Stepfords. I was f*cking shocked I grew up in PB went to San Diego state and lived in Del Mar for years....WTF happened? Don't answer I know what happened......MONEY and GENTRIFICATION. It is a ruined city IMHO. And I know exactly what you mean about those asinine ribbons. BLEEECH!

[Amazing! Somebody’s trip is ruined by a few metallic stickers. Of course, we are talking about a DUmmie here so the scenario is entirely plausible.]

My car's got plenty of stuff in the back window: "Religious fundamentalism: a threat abroad; a threat at home" and "Your kid is next" with Bush giving a knowing look, and "Why do conservatives hate so many Americans?" and "Flag, schmag! I (heart) the Constitution!" and a great one that's a takeoff on a popular redneck theme: Calvin pissing on a Bush campaign logo. But I am not one who finds identity through my choice of vehicle; I've got an old junker so folks can key away.

[Once in awhile I see cars with similar stickers and I always have to get a look at the drivers to see just what losers they are. Usually they look very angry and completely disheveled. It’s the DUmmie look.]