DUmmie FUnnies 03-11-05 ("Our 2008 Ticket: Personal Choice vs. Actual Prediction")

This DUmmie THREAD titled, “Our 2008 Ticket: Personal Choice vs. Actual Prediction,” shows just how out of touch the DUmmies are. VERY FEW of the DUmmies have predicted what the inevitable Democrat choice that we ALL (sans DUmmies) know to be: Hillary. Hey, DUmmies! Respectfully submitted whether you approve or NOT. See that signpost up ahead? You are entering the Hillary Zone. Get used to it, DUmmies? Kerry candidacy? DEAD! Clark candidacy? DEAD! Dean Wormer? DEAD! Well, you get the point. NO other Democrat candidate stands a chance in hell in getting nominated because of the Hillary steamroller. And just as inevitable as the Hillary candidacy in 2008 will be her ultimate defeat in the general election. My cousin Jerry isn’t too political, however the mere sight of Hillary on the tube drives him into a frenzy. Come 2008 and cousin Jerry will shoving his way to the front of the poll lines to vote AGAINST Hillary. Multiply the normally non-political Cousin Jerrys a few million times and this spells defeat for the Demcrats AGAIN in 2008. Let’s see, in 2004 the Democrats nominated an annoying Northeast Liberal senator and are defeated so in 2008 they are going to nominate an even MORE annoying northeast liberal senator in order to be defeated YET AGAIN. Karl Rove couldn’t have prescribed a better formula for Democrat defeat. Come to think of it, could it be possible that Karl Rove is orchestrating behind the scenes the nomination of Hillary? Hmm… Who knows what plots are at work in the midst of the Perfect Rovian Storm? As usual the DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wearing his Hillary ’08 button, is in the [brackets]:

1) Which two candidates do you think will actually constitute the Democratic ticket in 2008;

[Hillary/Whoever Hillary Chooses.]

2) Which two candidates would YOU personally choose if you were the lone powerbroker;

[Hillary/Hillary.]

3) In which city should the 2008 Democratic convention be held?

[Hillaryville.]

My thoughts.

[Uh-Oh! Stand by. This could be dangerous or, even more likely, FUnnie.]

1 - Edwards and Obama

[I can just see Ted Kennedy introducing that ticket at the convention: “Let’s hear it for Jim Edwards and Osama bin Bama, err ah, Barak bin Laden, or maybe, Osama Bama Wanna Hot Momma!”]


2 - Best chance of winning ... Clark and Richardson or Rendell

[Clark only has a chance if he learns to blink more than once per week.]

hold the convention in a closed down plant in Youngstown, Ohio or Flint, Michigan, and fight hard on the class issue using the site as a galvanizing point. Yuppies aren't worth our time.

[The Democrat delegates will be THRILLED to spend their time in those lovely vacation spots.]

Kerry/Obama in New Orleans with Biden SOD / Edwards SOS / Graham NID / Clark Homeland Security

[How about Biden as BS and Hillary as SOB?]

Kerry/Richardson in Ohio

[Look for those secret hand signals from Kerry to find out just what city in Ohio.]

None of this makes any difference if the electronic voting isn't changed.
No democrat can win, not Clinton, not Gore, not Jesus Christ.

[Jesus/Hillary? No. Hillary wouldn’t approve. It would have to be Hillary/Jesus.]

If they don't fix the voting process, it doesn't matter.

[ALL your Diebold Machines belong to US!]

There is no point at all, nominating anybody who failed to vote against the Ohio electors. They will be guaranteed a loss because they'll do nothing to oppose the next stolen election.

[That leaves only Barbara Boxer in the Senate and several loose screws in the House as possible candidates.]

Bayh/ Lincoln 2008

[If the DUFU book deal ever comes through, I would prefer to Bayh/Corvette in 2008.]

I doubt if the English King wanted to sign the Magna Carta, but the movement had long passed critical mass, and if he wanted to keep his nuts in their socket, he was damned well going to sign the document.

[ALL your Magna Cartas belong to US!]

I expect that most people who concur with you about voter fraud are within the Democratic Party.

[And I also concur with you that most voter fraud is within the Democrat Party.]

As for my personal picks, choosing from among the known list, I would be happy with Kerry, Edwards, Gore, Richardson, Bredesen, Obama, Dean, Boxer... doesn't matter. I'd vote for a Spongebob/Patrick ticket if I thought it would mean a Democratic White House.

[Psst! You left off that list the INEVITABLE “choice.” I’ll give you a hint: Her name starts with an H and ends with a Y. Still puzzled? Okay, another hint. She was named after an obscure New Zealand beekeeper.]

There is a Durational Expectancy quota to answer to, for me at least. I expect to wait no more than 15 minutes for a cup of coffee at a diner, no more than 45 minutes or so for a pizza delivery, and I need my political fixes more or less constantly.

[And how long do you wait for your crack fix? 5 minutes?]

Anyway, New Orleans would be a great choice, I think.

[But would it be a more pleasant locale than an empty factory in downtown Youngstown?]

Gary Hart - Bayh

[Gary Hart – Donna Rice]

Edwards - Cohen

[With Kerry at replacing Edwards at the top of the ticket, it would be Kohn/Cohen.]

Preferably Kerry. Anybody But Hillary!!!

[Tough! You’re getting Hillary. And while you’re at it, EAT your spinach!]

Warner-Bayh? God, we might as well just slash our wrists now.

[Wanna borrow my Gillette?]

Who would win? Boxer? Kucinich?

[Absolutely. Surefire winners you’ve picked there you political genius you.]

But a bland centrist like Bayh or Warner is certain to lose...As is a candidate that sounds strained and "establishmentarian" like Kerry.

[You need a candidate who believes in disestablishmentarianism... ALL my life I’ve wanted to use that word in an actual sentence and now you’ve given me that opportunity, DUmmie. I am ever so grateful!]

would love for it to be Clark/Warner.. but in reality, it will be this

Hillary/Lieberman
Or
Hillary/Edwards
Or
Hillary/Bayh

[FINALLY, a realistic DUmmie which mean you must be a… LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Come on folks, let's get in the game....I can't believe that people are talking about Hillary Clinton in 2008. We can't afford to do that. It's a joke. WE WOULD LOSE. WE CAN'T LOSE IN 2008. P...E...R...I...O...D.

[Hee! Hee! There is NO STOPPING the candidacy of Hillary. So it has been decreed by our Dark Lord, Karl Rove.]

We don't have to play by their rules. Let's show the world we were not f*cking around when we gave our support to John Kerry in 2004.

[Sorry but you ARE playing by our rules which is why you WILL be nominating Hillary in ’08. There is NO stopping the WILL of our Dark Lord, Karl Rove.]

I honestly think John Edwards is one of the few politicians that won't be stale four years after having been part of a losing ticket.

[Edwards is about as fresh as last year’s open bag of potato chips.]

1) Warner/Feingold or Bayh/Rendell

[Rendell has already been bought.]

Kerry/Oboma

[Oboma... Owama... Aboma... Watteva.]

Clark/Clinton in '08! I like Clark as prez and Hilary as VP.

[Hillary doesn’t like it and that’s what counts.]

Hillary. I think the Democratic Party will pick Hillary Clinton, after some maneuvering is done.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Phil Bredesen/Evan Bayh

[Bredesen! Yes!!! That’s the man! Someone popular with high name recognition!]

I want Gore, but well probably have Hillary.

[BOW to the inevitable!]

I think the conventino should be in Miami

[They might be busy in Miami with the Valentino.]

I'm deeply afraid that it's going to be something like a Hillary/Biden ticket, and we will get our asses handed to us in the general election.

[Hee! Hee! How would you like your asses done? Deep fried or half baked?]