DUmmie FUnnies 02-14-05 ("Why are Democrats suicidally crazy?")

Sometimes, when browsing around in Dummieland, a thread title will grab my attention which this DUmmie THREAD titled, “"Why are Democrats suicidally crazy?" did bigtime. The same question could also be applied to the DUmmies, “Why are DUmmies suicidally crazy?” Whatever the answer the fact that they and the Dems are suicidally crazy makes them FUN to watch! Hey, if they weren’t suicidally crazy, how could I even provide the public with FUnnie DUmmie FUnnies? This thread leads off with an article about the “suicidally crazy” DNC Chairman, Howard Dean. The suicidally crazy DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, manning the Suicide Hotline (1-800-BUSH-WON), is in the [brackets]:

”The conventional rap against Dean as DNC chairman is essentially the same as the conventional rap against him as presidential candidate a year ago. Namely, he reinforces all the party's weaknesses. Democrats need to appeal to culturally traditional voters in the Midwest and border states who worry about the party's commitment to national security. Dean, with his intense secularism, arrogant style, throngs of high-profile counterculture supporters and association with the peace movement, is the precise opposite of the image Democrats want to send out.”

[Good analysis by author Jonathan Chait. But please, Jonathan, don’t complain too loudly. We DON’T want the DUmmiecrats to change their suicidally crazy ways.]

The DNC chairman has two main jobs. First, he transmits the party's message -- an important role when the party lacks a president and majority leaders in Congress. This job requires one to master the dismal art of "message discipline," boiling down the party's ideas into a few simple phrases and repeating them over and over until they have sunk into the public consciousness.

[Here is the DUmmiecrat’s message boiled down to it’s essence: “HATE BUSH! HATE REPUBLICANS! HATE FREEPERS! HATE THEM!!! HATE THEM!! HATE THEM!!! HATE! HATE! HATE!”]


”It's a role for which Dean is particularly ill suited. During his campaign, remember, he fashioned himself a straight talker, delighting reporters by repeatedly wandering ‘off message.’ On the plus side, he won friends in the media by appearing honest and human. On the negative side, he did himself enormous damage, when, for example, he suggested that he wouldn't prejudge Osama bin Laden until he had been convicted in a court of law.”

[DUmmiecrat law states that Osama would have to be released if he wasn’t read his Miranda rights.]

“So, how did Dean manage to trounce all comers for this position? Dean's supporters see his triumph as the victory of the masses over a tiny Democratic elite desperately trying to cling to power. As one left-liberal blogger gloated: "The fact that Howard Dean will most likely be heading up the Democratic Party is our victory. It is the voice of the grass roots lifted up into the halls of power once owned by the aristocracy of consultants.'' That actually has it backward. A recent Wall Street Journal poll found that only 27 percent of Democrats approve of Dean.”

[It wouldn’t surprise me a bit if the gloating “left-liberal blogger” was a DUmmie. Okay, and now we go to the suicidally crazy DUmmie comments about this article.]

To be honest, I've been terribly torn about Dean. And while Jonathan Chait does accurately encapsulate all my misgivings, I still ended up coming down on the other side and endorsing him. Here's the reason: all these criticisms, though valid, assume that Howard Dean has learned absolutely nothing from his experience going from leading Presidential candidate down to also-ran. I don't believe that. Say whatever else you like about him, Dean isn't stupid.

[I disagree. I say that Dean is STILL an arrogant shmuck. However, on the plus side, I still enjoy hearing the Dean Scream. YEEEEAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!]

People who think Dean is a whacked-out liberal...need to truly study his record in Vermont. He was surprisingly centrist in most of his policies.

[Ultra high state taxation is centrist?]

I can't help but point out that the "be nice and appeal to the middle" strategy isn't working. Leaders of revolutions are always seen as "loose cannons" by the establishment. No guarantees that this revolution would be successful, but really, the point is to try somebody different.

[Translation: “Piss on reasonableness. Bring on the Bolshevik Revolution!”]

I wish all the naysayers would just shut up and give him a chance to undo the damage that the previous idiot did.

[It’s hard to be worse than Terry McAwful but I have faith that Dean can outdo him.]

Jonathon Chait and "The New Republican" magazine are the best friends the Republican Party have ever had. They are not to be trusted. They and the DLC will do everything they can to push the Democratic Party to the right which will eventually, if left alone, destroy the party. Just look at the damage they've done so far.

[Didn’t Jonathan Chait attend a PNAC luncheon? “P-NACing, Mr. Pinell. P-NACing?” (Obscure “She Wore A Yellow Ribbon” reference.)]

First of all this is just the beginning of the slash and burn campaign that the right wing media (and we all know that means the MSM and its counterparts) will be producing and promoted as Dean takes the helm of the DNC. Not terribly different that during the campaign, when they finally destroyed him with the scream, knowing all along that they had quieted down the noise of the crowd he was trying to be heard over.

[You mean how like all the Boos for Hillary by firemen and policemen were electronically converted to Cheers?]

I hope with Howard Dean we end being Mr. and Ms. Democratic Nice Guy. I hope we go on the attack and start pointing out the stupidity of Mr. Bush and cronies, with civility of course, but we should point it out at every opportunity. I hope with Howard Dean that we stop being the victims of vicious right wing attacks and go on the offense instead of always being defensive. I think he will help accomplish this with civility, common sense, and speaking truth to power. So Mr. Chait can keep his right wing smear tactics to himself and the Wall Street Journal and their "poll" of democrats, can kiss my big blue state butt.

[First you hope that you quit being Mr. Nice Guy and go on the attack. Then you want to do it with civility. Finally you regress back to this: “Kiss my blue state butt." Great civility there.]

The downside to all this is that Mr. Dean had better make sure he is very well protected 24/7 with multiple layers of highly vetted security experts. The neo-com masters have proven that they are no strangers to political assassination, as the string of dead bodies, both literally and figuratively, now littering the landscape should show us. Poor Howard is now taking his life in his hand. He is becoming a dangerous man to the kill a commie for Christ bunch.

[Actually a lot of Freepers would volunteer to be Dean bodyguards. Hey, we WANT Dean as DNC Chairman. Not only is he incredibly ENTERTAINING but he will destroy the DUmmiecrats far more effectively than any EVIL righwing Republican could ever accomplish.]

It is time for a revolution.

[WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!]

Rethugs label every dem who has an opinion and voices it, as a "loose cannon". I think they are very afraid of Dean for some reason, and I'm liking all the publicity they're giving him - it kind of endorses him even more for me.

[DEAN! DEAN! HE’S A SCREAM! LOOKS SO TOUGH AND ACTS SO MEAN! DEAN!]