DUmmie FUnnies 01-04-05 (More "I Believe")

Among the most amusing of the DUmmie threads are the “I Believe” threads initiated by DUmmie Doohickie. They are my FAVES! The first “I Believe” thread began on November 13 with the now traditional words, “I believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20. I am Doohickie, and I approve this message.” The second of the “I Believe” threads began on December 16 with Doohickie leading off with the same confession of faith. This one was also covered in the DUmmie FUnnies but let us now pick up this same DUmmie THREAD again starting from New Year’s Eve for the latest in the “I Believe” confessionals. Although there have been other threads similar to the “I Believe” threads, accept NO cheap imitations. Only the threads initiated by DUmmie Doohickie have the official seal of approval. As usual the deeply believing DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hardly believing what he is reading, is in the [brackets]:

I BELIEVE.

I believe Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan 20.

I am Doohickie, and I approve this message.

[Thank you for that official invocation of the “I Believe” ceremonial thread, DUmmie Doohickie Let us now jump down and pick up this thread from December 31.]

I believe we'll have to start a third I BELIEVE thread. The support for this thread seems to be snowballing!

[And it is also VERY POPULAR over in the DUmmie FUnnies, DUmmie Doohickie.]

I believe you're right! We've got a lot of believing in us! And a lot more to do by the 6th.

[And even after the 6th. In fact I fully expect to see these “I Believe” threads AFTER Jan. 20. What will happen is that DUmmie Doohickie will come up with a Capricorn One theory of the inauguration. I expect him to post that, “I Believe that John Kerry was inaugurated on Jan. 20 because the Bush inauguration was only done in a TV studio while the REAL inauguration of Kerry was kept hidden from the public.”]

It's won't be an official "I believe" thread unless it has the Doohickie seal of approval.

[The “I Believe” threads are only kosher if they are stamped with that small “D” for Doohickie letter inside of a circle.]

It's 1:13am, New Year's eve, and there's still MORE believin' goin' on!

[I’m hearing Elvis singing: “A Whole Lot of Believin’ goin’ on!”]

It's New Years Eve and I STILL BELIEVE. I just can't help myself.

[It will be Easter. You’ll be wearing a bunny outfit and you will STILL BELIEVE. You can’t help yourself.]

It's New Year's Eve and I still Believe!!!!!!!

[That’s because the booze is just now kicking in.]

I believe we only have a few more days to find out if all of our hard work has paid off.

I believe it will.

I believe we do need a third thread also.

Kerry won get over it.

[I believe we won’t get over it until we finish laughing which may be a long time from now.]

I still believe...in the integrity of John Kerry.

I still believe that no matter what happens on Jan. 6, * will not survive 4 more years.

I still believe that more and more people will become aware of what is going on, and they will believe, too.

I still believe that no matter how bad things get, all things pass with time, and there are better things ahead.

I still believe I can teach 99.9% of my 4th graders how to multiply 2 and 3 digit numbers. (sorry, just had to throw it in).

I believe that anyone who is as nasty, self-centered, and vicious as the chimp and his malicious troop are not truly as happy as probably most of us are here.

I believe in well-deserved vacations, the purity of a newly sprung tulip in the spring, and the loving look on a new mother's face.

[I believe in the purity of a newly hung over Paris Hilton and in the wild kook of a new DUmmie’s face.]

It is 2005 and I Still Believe

[It is 2005 and I Still believe you’re nuts.]

I absolutely believe that's it's only a matter of time.

I believe that the question is shifting from "What are they hiding?" to "How long can they hide it?"

I believe that we mosquitoes in the bedroom of Democracy have succeeded in waking her up. She's not out of bed yet, but she can't fall back asleep at this point.

I believe that we are going to have some GREAT entertainment from the flying monkeys as this heats up. I'll soap myself up with falafel if I'm wrong.

I believe it's inevitable that someday in the near future, we'll find ourselves getting a lecture from a friend or colleague on how this election was stolen, and we'll smile and nod, and feel tremendously proud and grateful that we were here together now.

I believe that John Kerry will be inaugurated as our next President of the United States in 2005.

[I absolutely believe it is only a matter of time before most DUmmies are institutionalized.

I believe the question is shifting from “Are the DUmmies really nuts” to “Where can we hide them away?”

I believe that we flies on the walls of DUmmieland are laughing at their wacko posts.

I believe we are going to have some GREAT entertainment from the DUmmie Ants. I’ll soap myself up with hydrochloric acid if I’m wrong.

I believe the DUmmie FUnnies book will hit the bestseller list in 2005 thanx to DUmmie posts saying that John Kerry will be inaugurated as our next President of the United States in 2005.]

I have a confession to make...I love de widduw flying monkeys. I think they're cute. And every time they fly by...I BELIEVE even more. Look over there: where are they flying from? What's that behind the trees they don't want us to see?

[I’ll tell you what’s behind the trees they don’t want you to see. It’s your own personalized butterfly net.]

I believe that John F. Kerry will be inaugurated this month. I believe Junior will have to take his crown and move out of the WH. Quickly. I believe the louder they roar and the faster they flap their wings, the sooner they will lose. It's very amusing to watch.

[Yes. It’s very amusing to watch all your “I Believe” posts.]

I believe our time will come and it won't be as far away as some people think. I am so glad to be in such good company.

[Your time will come in a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area we call - The DUmmie Zone.]

I believe we're taking 'em down. I can’t help but think of the end of the Godfather part 1 where everyone thought the Corleone family was done (talking smack, jumping ship, etc.). Then during the baptism scene, Michael takes all the f*ckers down all at once and becomes more powerful than anyone thought he was capable of. Here’s to us and Kerry taking all the f*ckers down!

[Godfather screenplay as written by Rod Serling.]

It is such a relief to see this thread every day. You step inside, and it is just like a the clouds part and a ray of sunshine engulfs you. I Believe in the power of positive thought and optimism. I Believe that the power for change rests in the hands of the people, and I believe that we are going to make history this week.
I Love all of You Believers. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[It is such a relief to see this thread every day. You step inside and it is like a vacation from harsh reality. I Love all of You Believers for making the DUmmie FUnnies the most hilarious Blog on the Web. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.]