DUmmie FUnnies 01-01-05 ("To the Believers")

I love these DUmmie Great Pumpkin “I Believe!” type threads. They are RICH in comedy material. Therefore what a better way to enter the New Year with the Dummie FUnnies than this DUmmie THREAD titled, “To the Believers.” Yes, yet another HILARIOUS DUmmie discussion about how Kerry WILL be inaugurated this January. I happen to have more belief in the power of screeching snake handlers deep in the Appalachia than I do in the possibility of a President Kerry this January. The alternate reality of the DUmmie Believers is in Bolshevik Red while the highly skeptical commentary of you humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

To the Believers. I am honored to be among all of you on the eve of this new year. You have inspired me, you have empowered me and you have given me faith that despite the odds, obstacles and naysayers, we will win…We believe because what we visualize is what we will achieve. Here's to all you believers. I pass on this message from IAMREALITY... "To my friends at DU, I miss you and I wish you all a Happy New Year.” Failure is the path of least persistence - I BELIEVE

[I BELIEVE these “I BELIEVE” threads are among the FUNNIEST in DUmmieland. HAPPY NEW YEAR DUmmies, and thanks for the many laughs!]

Thanks! Conscious, consistent, intentionality...gets it done!

[You left out UNREALITY.]

Some of us do not want to give up our dreams.

[Some of us don’t want to give up our unreality.]

Never stop believing, it will be a great year indeed...for the good guys. Sorry Chimp, it's not lookin to good for you.

[Close your eyes real hard and maybe you can wish away the Evil Reign of our Glorious Emperor, Chimpus Kahn.]

The enemy is counting on us to do nothing. They will throw up barriors in our way. They will send messengers telling us all is lost. Believers, DO NOT LISTEN. This is our fight, and we must remain steadfast, no matter what happens.

[Actually “The Enemy” is counting on you to keep up providing us with lots of laughs with these “I Believe!” threads.]

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.” - Margaret Mead

[Is that the same Margaret Mead who was exposed as a fraudulent anthropologist?]

I have said before that your wise and inspirational posts have sustained my faith.

[Faith in your Savior, John Kerry?]

Remember this: The good guys always win.

[Psst! Bush Won.]

Orange Revolution Begins Today! Rock on in 2005! Great message! The Orange Revolution begins today!

[Orange you a wee bit unrealistic?]

If you seriously think that John Kerry is going to be sworn in as president then you're setting yourself up for a huge disappointment.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

i will wear an orange hat on epiphany in dc
and gonna walk 25 miles to get there

[So will you be wearing an orange bunny suit on Easter Sunday?]

I believe that 2005 is John Kerry's year, I really do. I also believe we're going to have fun (in a rollercoaster fashion, alternating between an adrenalin rush and nausea) watching this year not be Junior's year.

[Your rollercoaster ride in 2005 will alternate between severe nausea and extreme vomiting.]

I will continue to believe and never lose my faith. Even if no one stands on January 6, I will continue to work towards "regime change" at home.

[aka treason.]

I Believe and I will continue to believe through the ups and downs of this bitter battle in which we are engaged. I know that we will win, I can feel it, I can see it and I can taste it.

[So what does elephant doo-doo taste like?]

we are saying that kerry will win and Bush is out. bush committed a crime and he soon will be punished along with the others who helped him commit the acts

[What crime? Jaywalking or overdue library books?]

I haven't fooled myself into thinking Kerry is somehow going to take office. I'd really love to hear exactly how you beleive that this is going to happen. Please give me a play by play of how this will unfold over the next week and enable Kerry to take office. Or are you just wishing it to happen so much that you don't think about it realistically?

[Here’s how it happens. Tinkerbell sprinkles her Pixie Dust on Congress on Jan. 6, making them think that Kerry won the election. Then a giant pink Bunny Rabbit named Harvey announces Kerry as the winner to make it official.]


Lots of threads covering just these scenarios. We're not going to waste DU bandwidth by reproducing all of the abundantly available documentation here. Welcome to DU. Welcome to the world of possibilities.

[Welcome to DUmmieland. Welcome to the world of impossibilities.]

we are actually at a kind of 'uncertain' stage right now, because we still need to hear from the U.S. Circuit Court where Kerry/Cobb filed the motion/lawsuit to secure machines and ballots, etc to inspect for tampering. There are so many fronts going on right now that are not complete so it is really hard to tell which one, if any, are going to have an effect.

[One exciting front is in front of Kerry’s Boston townhouse. The vigil of the frozen there could very well yield WONDERFUL results if we just wish hard enough.]

We Believe that battles are never won without visualizing the victory. This thread is dedicated to all those that keep the vision alive. So, your question, "What do we expect to win?" Class warrior answered "It All" To me, that is the perfect answer. We visualize the ultimate downfall of the Bush Family Evil Empire. We visualize our question "What Are They Hiding?" answered live on Faux News as poor little Katherine sits before the Grand Jury. We visualize an end to corporate controlled media and a re-birth of free and independent media. We visualize a movement of ordinary Americans, united in one common goal. We will not stand down until we win. "The win" is not about one man, or one event, or one date. "The win" is what we will achieve when we commit to never giving up. This thread is dedicated to those believers that have embraced winning and have committed to never giving up the fight.

[This thread is dedicated to all those Japanese soldiers who fought on in tiny South Pacific islands long after WWII was over.]

Believe in a great surprise to happen on or about the 6th. Democracy must win out over the evil we have experienced over the past four years.

[Remember the Suicide Hotline number on Jan. 20: 1-800-BUSH-WON.]