Thursday, December 20, 2007

Pitt thread hijacked: It's all about Will!

Our Favorite DUmmie, William Rivers Pitt, is having trouble making points in DUmmieland anymore. Pied Piper Pitt has become Pariahed Poster Putz in the eyes of many of his former followers. How come? Well, Willie just brings this stuff on himself. Time after time, he makes himself the focus of whatever he's writing about. Time after time, he lashes out at his fellow DUmmies and then recants. Time after time--"This time for SURE!"--Wee Willie leaves DUmmieland and then returns. Most famously, perhaps, in seeking the glory of breaking a scoop, Journalist Pitt ASSURED DUmmieland, with the utmost confidence, that Karl Rove had been INDICTED on May 12, 2006. Merry Fitzmas! Uh, Will, we're still waiting.

So enough DUmmies have been burned by Pitt and can see through him, that now, when Willie does post, Pitt potshots are sure to follow. Case in point: This
THREAD, "How to Rig an Election: Confessions of a Republican Operative." Pitt's opening post promotes a tell-all book by a former GOP dirty-trickster, but really, the subject matter is irrelevant. Because instantly the thread becomes all about Will! Loyal Pitt sycophants greet their semi-celebrity friend, but very soon they have to defend him against a sniping intruder! Laffs ensue!

So now let us crank up the Fitzmas carols and watch Pitt get roasted on an open fire, in Bolshevik Red, while the humble commentary of your guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, squeezing in a quick guest DUFU before getting back to real Christmas preparations, is in the [brackets]:

"How to Rig an Election: Confessions of a Republican Operative"

[Who cares, Will? Let's get on to the comments about YOU!]

Hi Will, hope your holiday is great. . . .

[Merry Fitzmas!]

Haven't seen you around in awhile... Hope you're hale & hearty!

[Hope you survive this thread, in which no one will actually talk about your topic!]

Hi Will. I'm glad to see you stopped in to post. Hope you have a warm and cozy Holiday.

[Hugs from DUmmie liberalnurse!]

Do we have to give him a warm reception?

[WHOA! A Pitt potshot from DUmmie lonestarnot!]

Absolutely! He has earned it.

[He's WILLIAM RIVERS PITT, don't you know, semi-celebrity pundit, who DEIGNS to converse with us mere mortals! Continue, DUmmie liberalnurse. . . .]

By the way, may I ask you to be nice tonight?

[By the way, liberalnurse, thank you for unwittingly participating in this thread hijacking.]

Ugh no and no as I wasn't talking to you.

[DUmmie lonestarnot will NOT be nice!]

We choose to. You can choose differently. On a different thread. In other words, piss off.

[DUmmie tavalon to the defense of Will! Also off-topic. Hee hee!]

Bite me! I wasn't talking to you either! My post is clearly directed to Will Pitt, owner of Hairy Bastid, so buzz the f*ck off!

[Biting, buzzing, fighting words! DUmmie lonestarnot is a real Texas fire ant, with an animus against Will!]

"Do we have to give him a warm reception?" Let's deconstruct that, shall we? First, "we", is either the royal we, or the peanut gallery of DUers. You aren't royal and I'm one of the peanut gallery. Therefore, you were addressing me. Second, you should have used "you" instead of "him" in the second part of your sentence if you really were addressing Will. You were actually using a sideways snipe and I called you on it.

[The peanut gallery is deconstructing! Call off the snipers!]

The question was directed to Pitt. The use of we, you are correct, was intended to mean subject DUers and in that event, you've probably never been on a snipe hunt, and I am not having this conversation, you are having it with yourself, as I NEVER snipe sideways! Always f*cking head-on, so why don't you head-on, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD. And by the way, I am royal as is indicated in my screen name STAR, LONESTARNOT (and, yes, that would be a DUer reference, dee dee f*cking dee)

[Thread hijack almost complete!]

I have no f*cking idea what you just said. . . .

[Me either, but at least it was off-topic.]

woot! me too.


you who has no friends I have a question: Why are you being an ass?

[DUmmie NewHampster opens a can of woot-ass! Continue. . . .]

Will has more good Democratic genes in his pinkie than you have in your entire spineless body.

[It's all about Will!]

The only reasons I can think for you to troll will's thread is that you are A) A brainless nincompoop or B) a rethug troll.

[Or C) you have been burned by Will repeatedly over the past 24 business months.]

What the hell is going on? So confused...

[Clueless Will Pitt staggers out of Bukowski's to find THIS?! "Wha' hoppen to my thread??!!"]

that jerk lonestarnot was stalking my bud Liberalnurse. How the heck are you Will?

[Dazed and confused.]

Oh, come on Will, you know there are people who stalk your threads just to poop on you.

[Pooped-on Poster Pitt.]

I didn't know if it was something else.

[No, Will, it's all about YOU!]

I think several misinterpreted what lone said thought she was talking about being nice to you, when, I took it as she was asking if we had to be nice to the republican guy.

[Oh, riiight, DUmmie Horse with no Name. Nice spin effort. And nobody cares about the Republican guy from the opening post anyhow.]

Gotcha. Thanks.

[Will accepts the revisionist thread history so as to not disturb his Feng Shui.]

Learn how to f*cking read. . . .

[DUmmie lonestar will NOT accept this revisionist spin!]

Did you mean giving Will Pitt a warm reception, or the Republic guy? Mea Culpa if you meant the latter. I thought you were dissing Will Pitt.

[DUmmie tavalon extends the olive branch to DUmmie lonestar.]

Take your mea culpa and your stupid ass to hell.

[I WAS dissing Will Pitt!]

This is quite possibly the strangest sub-thread I've ever read on DU.

[BWAHAHA!!! Total thread hijack!! WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!]

It's art.

[Yes, Will, you are the Bob Ross of DUmmieland! Happy accidents!]

Welcome back Mr Pitt.

[I think after this Mr. Pitt may well retreat to Mother Pitt's cabin in the woods for the holidays.]

This sounds wonderful. Have been hoping some of them would finally break with the group and start letting the public know what they've been doing against the country.

[Huh, what? OH, you're talking about the supposed topic of this thread! No wonder I was confused!!]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sound like Pitt has really worn on a few people's nerves.

Maybe his 15 DU-minutes are over?

3:27 PM  
Blogger Britt said...

15 DU business minutes?

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Will has more good Democratic genes in his pinkie than you have in your entire spineless body."

"Good" Democratic genes? Now I know why lions eat their young! Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, Will.

8:50 AM  
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