Tuesday, June 13, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 06-13-06 ("Rove Won't Be Charged in C.I.A. Leak Case")

FREUDENSCHADE, BABY! There was a sense of inevitability about it from the start. The DUmmies are greated with joyous news and they break out their victory champagne to celebrated the event BEFORE it happened. Then, as surely as Lucy pulling away the football from Charlie Brown, the event BACKFIRES on them. Such has been the case over and over and over again. Jeb Bush being defeated in 2002? Re-elected by a landslide. John Kerry winning the election in 2004 due to his landslide in the exit polls? Defeated at the real polls. And, most recently, Karl Rove being indicted on May 12 according to William Rivers Pitt, Jason Leopold, and TruthOut. NEWSFLASH!!! Just in: Rove Won't Be Charged in C.I.A. Leak Case Once AGAIN the DUmmie Charlie Brown lands on his butt. Do the DUmmies NEVER learn? As soon as the TruthOut story was published a month ago and DUmmieland began it's joyous celebrations, level heads just KNEW how all this was going to end. It was simply a matter of patient waiting. And what DELICIOUS timing! Pitt, Leopold, & Co. boldly announce that the Rove indictment has taken place on May 12 and Patrick Fitzgerald announced EXACTLY one month later on June 12 that Rove WON'T be indicted.

And who should we thank for presenting us with this PERFECT example of Freudenschade? I think the credit should go to Pied Piper Pitt. Why? Here is my theory. The decision on Rove could have gone either way. About a month ago, Fitzgerald was at the point of either indicting or not indicting Rove. Only the tiniest of factors could swing it in either direction. Enter Pitt and his TruthOut "scoop." What happened is that the TruthOut report turned the issue of the Rove indictment into a circus act that instantly spread across cyberspace. Even Hillary Clinton the the Michigan democrats were sucked into this circus clown act when they stood up and CHEERED the news of the Rove indictment at the news of the Rove "indictment." It was at some point afterwards that a disgusted Fitzgerald finally came down on the side of NOT indicting Karl Rove. So THANK YOU William Rivers Pitt for setting off the Butterfly Effect that led to the decision NOT to indict Rove. And now, as a prelude to Pitt's DUmmieland crucifixion, let us observe the DUmmie reaction to this "sad" news in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, planning to celebrate the non-indictment of Rove at Bukowski's, is in the [brackets]:

Rove Won't Be Charged in C.I.A. Leak Case


WASHINGTON, June 13 — The prosecutor in the C.I.A. leak case on Monday advised Karl Rove, the senior White House adviser, that he would not be charged with any wrongdoing, effectively ending the nearly three-year criminal investigation that had at times focused intensely on Mr. Rove.

[And Karl Rove was given 24 business hours to get his affairs in order.]

The decision by the prosecutor, Patrick J. Fitzgerald, announced in a letter to Mr. Rove's lawyer, Robert D. Luskin, lifted a pall that had hung over Mr. Rove who testified on five occasions to a federal grand jury about his involvement in the disclosure of an intelligence officer's identity.

[Thank you, Pied Piper Pitt, for turning the Rove indictment possibility into such a circus that a disgusted Fitzgerald simply washed his hands of it all. Remember, DUmmies, WILLIAM RIVERS PITT gets the credit for this non-indictment by pissing off Fitzgerald with the TruthOut Hoaxmas story.]

In a statement, Mr. Luskin said, "On June 12, 2006, Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald formally advised us that he does not anticipate seeking charges against Karl Rove."

[Pied Piper Pitt, Jason Leopold, and TruthOut announced the Rove indictment as having ALREADY happened on May 12 and EXACTLY a month later on June 12 Fitzgerald announces that he is NOT indicting Karl Rove. Let me pause a Schadenfreude moment to savor the delicious Freudenschade of the DUmmies who celebrated that glorious May 12 announcement.]

Mr. Fitzgerald's spokesman, Randall Samborn, said he would not comment on Mr. Rove's status

[We already know the status of Pied Piper Pitt at this moment: Drunk and Depressed.]

New York Times story

[Yes, I read it with DELIGHT. And now on to the DUmmie reaction...]

There's still Libby's trial to look forward to.

["Tara! Home. I'll go home. And I'll think of some way to get him back. After all... tomorrow is another day."]

oh my GAWD!! no no no!

[The Horror! THE HORROR!!!]

DU will be fun today.

[You bet. I'm really looking forward to the ceremonial crucifixion of Pied Piper Pitt.]

that bastard gets away with everything doesn't he?
watch the freepers rally around this g.d. traitor, never once asking themselves how they would behave if this was a DEMOCRAT....yeah that's right freepers, you hypocritical pathetic pieces of SHIT

[Dr. Buddy Rydell is on his way with your emergency Anger Management treatment.]

What a lousy way to start the day!

[Not me. I'm savoring it. Freudenschade, baby!]

"And so this is Fitzmas....And Happy New Year..."

[Break out the Freudenschade champagne! WHEEEEEE!!!]

My Heart Is Broken, My Spirit Crushed, My Faith in America Destroyed. On the other hand, I am sure that there are numerous other criminal enterprises that Kkkarl has participated in, so we just have to keep digging. Perhaps Fitz is doing just that--he has the license to do so. Or am I approaching the definition of insanity, here?

[The answer to your question is a firm "YES."]

The slithering snake gets away

[No frogwalk for the slithering snake.]

Hopefully they aren't through, yet.

[Still hoping to find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?]

There is no Santy Claus, is there, Mommy?

[No Santy Claus, No Fitzmas but keeps your hopes up for the Great Pumpkin.]

I would say Jason has some 'splainin to do, Lucy. I'm guessing his credibility is shot to hell and back at this point.

[Maybe the Sealed vs Sealed indictment will ride to the rescue. Ya think?]

Jason sure has a poor sense of timing, ya think?
I'm glad I didn't weigh in on that one! But actually, if anyone guessed yesterday that Rove might have been secretly indicted, or might be in the near future, that doesn't mean they're stupid. This was apparently a close call on Fitzgerald's part, since it's taken him this long to decide not to go after Rove.

[Yes, it was a VERY close call on Fitzgerald's part. It could have gone either way but the antics of Leopold & Pitt, aka Leopold & Lib, turned this whole Rove indictment speculation into a circus act so Fitzgerald washed his hands of it in disgust.]

Jason Leopold threw out the story about Rove's indictment as fact, though, and he's bound to have credibility problems from here on because of that. According to Dr_eldritch's response 158 in that thread, Leopold has said that if his source turned out to be misleading, he would reveal their identity. It will be interesting to see what Leopold does now in that respect.

[An angry Leopold will now expose Sonny Crockett as his source and blame him for the misleading info.]

I thought I was phychologically prepared for this, but I am not. What a blow!

[See if Rove Non-Indictment Frustration Therapy is covered by your medical insurance.]

Fitzgerald seems to do everything properly, perfectly legally and in accordance with the spirit of the law, as should be in courts.


the headlines now be about how Disappointed the Dems are. damm

[DUmmie Freudenschade is FUn to watch!]

So will we stop being so damned naive now?

[No. You will ALWAYS attempt to kick Lucy's football.]

We have to STOP LOOKING FOR A HERO! Nobody is willing to step up to the plate, and nobody is going to ride in on a white horse. WE'RE THE HEROES. And until we recognize that, get up off our asses and get involved and rescue this country ourselves, it ain't gonna happen. It's just not that simple. And PLEASE don't bore me with statements like "Well, maybe there are other plans".....
We have to stop guessing about what our "leaders" have in mind in an ultra-secret plan to save our asses. WE have to be the leaders.

[A DUmmie begs to leave the Thanksgiving kiddie table and be allowed to eat at the grownups table.]

How credible is this report? So far it's only an assertion from Rove's lawyer. Fitzgerald's spokesman refused to comment, so is there any reason to believe this report?

[Unless this report is verified by Jason Leopold, it still lacks credibility.]

Yeah, let's believe Jason Leopold.


They must have found something on him (Fitzpatrick).
I know they say he spotless, but everybody has skeletons, of some sort in their closet.

[They found out that Fitzgerald is gray. They caught him at a beach house spending the night with his hairdresser who secretly dyed his hair. Fitzgerald couldn't face being outed as gray so he allowed himself to be blackmailed.]

The hell with Teflon, I want my next frypan to be lined with Republican! --- Nothing sticks to these people. Nothing.


Leopold indeed has some explaining to do.

["Pied Piper Pitt made me do it!"]

I hate to say I told you so, but, I told you so
Some people owe me signature lines as a result of our bet. I will be coming around to collect today.

[And Pied Piper Pitt owes you an endless post about how the Zarqawi death is meaningless. Anyway, it wouldn't surprise me if that is the ONLY reaction we get from him about this news.]

Rove flipped and gave up Cheney

[DUmmies flipped and gave up Mind.]

Is it possible that Rove was actually indicted on May 12 like truthout reported, but somehow Bush got involved to stop it? Maybe Bush told Fitz that he was going to pardon Rove so Fitz dropped it. Or maybe Rove has some dirt on Fitz so Fitz dropped it.

[Or maybe the Tooth Fairy left a quarter under your pillow.]

HAve a good day all you libs!

[Said a soon to be tombstoned LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

This is what it must feel like to get a 500 lb. bomb dropped on you. I was so hoping that Leopold was correct. Why, why, why!!! We need to get these bastards and soon.

[Is that you, Al-Zarqawi?]

Well, maybe he's going after bigger fish -- if he gets Cheney all will be forgiven.

[Don't even wait for that to happen. Break out that Freudenschade victory champagne NOW!]

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Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Jeeeez, I despise these Demotards, and even I'M embarrassed for them!

8:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I make a religious pilgramage here whenever the DUmmies get their nuts kicked. It's so much fun!

Great site.

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Heart Is Broken, My Spirit Crushed, My Faith in America Destroyed.

... sounds like the beginning of a great poem!

Oh yeah, and that frypan-lined-with-Republican comment... I had the same reaction. LOL!

9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And another Bush administration non-scandal reaches the usual conclusion. I wonder what the next non-scandal du jour will be about. That's unpredictable. But the DUmmies falling for whatever it will be isn't.

9:50 AM  
Blogger NDwalters said...

What a bunch of howler monkeys. If the GOP loses to these putzes then they deserve to go into the political graveyard. At that point it will be Third Party Time....

9:54 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

More! More! I want more!

So happy to get back and see this waiting for me. The Karl non-indictment all over every channel. (And Bush's surprise visit to Baghdad - what a stud. His approval ratings in my head just doubled).

Oh, these DUMmmies. HA HA HA HA HA. I love it, love it, love it. Some of them STILL think he was indicted?

PJ - you obviously can't go to work today. I'll write a note for your boss. You need to keep updating, all day. On the hour.

My appetite for fraudenschude is endless today. What a GREAT day! More! More! More!

And did you notice who's name wasn't even mentioned? Hmmm. Interesting.

Hell, this is so good I'm doing what I've almost never done and diving into the DU swamp myself.

I want MORE!

I cannot WAIT to see Pitt's reaction!

Speaking of Pitt -- I just added another edit to his Wikipedia article. Note the word "ironically" - wonder if the editors will leave it alone. Cuz damn I love irony.

Let me summarize: bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I want update! What has TruthOut said? Kos?

Bravo on all this, PJ.

9:57 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

Just found the funniest line in DU history in that "sealed v. sealed" thread.

DUmmie Patsy Stone at # 227 said:

"I see nothing wrong with being wrong."

Yup. Liberalism and the DU philosophy all boiled down to one seven-word sentence. "I see nothing wrong with being wrong."

Perfect. Damn this is funny!

10:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bwahahahaha. One of my comments made it into the DUmmie Funnies. I won't say which one because it's too fun getting the DUmmies all hot and bothered.

10:06 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...


Well, were you at least properly labeled a "lousy freeper troll?"

Or was your comment made in true DUmmie fashion thus slipping beneath PJ's finely tuned freeper radar?

Oh - and by the way - I retract the above post: the funniest DUmmie comment in history obviously HAS to be: "WE'RE THE HEROES!"


10:11 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

Hey - this thread looks like it'll be fun:


Title: "We deserve an apology. You abused our trust Mr. Leopold"

Now where is Pitt's name in all this??? How about some of you lousy freeper trolls head over there and start hammering on Pitt's share of the blame!?!

God this is fun. I'll try to stop monopolizing your comments now, P.J. For at least five minutes.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

LOL at this:

"Paging Jason leopold, Truthout, and Will Pitt, shit sandwich in aisle 4
Take a big bite."

Hope you've got a lot of Kewpie dolls ready.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Capitalist Infidel said...

Icarus, dude, you're really enjoying this aren't you? I have to admit, I keep coming here hoping for updates. I have one word for the DUmmies. Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

10:48 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

"Icarus, dude, you're really enjoying this aren't you? "

Just a little!


10:55 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

What Icarus said. LOL

So, what's the next "thing" going to be?... I hope they pick the Haliburton internment camps... That looked promising. :)

11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

9:30 a.m. pdt DUmmieland appears to have exploded.

11:34 AM  
Blogger Mr. Right said...

Merry Fitzmas, Gang! And a Happy ne"W" Year!

Oh, God, I cannot stop laughing this morning! This is just too much!

Encore, Mr. Pitt, Encore!!!

12:00 PM  
Blogger Staci said...

LOL, this is so fricken funny.

PJ, we link you at Famous Idiots all the time, but I had to remind Misha over at the Rott about you.

Is there anyway you can group the whole implosion over there? I would love to showcase you following this!!

I cannot stop fricken laughing. I woke up today thinking how this weather ruined my planned fishing trip this past weekend in Pompano, and how it is dragging on. And now, a fricken hurricane couldn't wipe the smile off my face.


12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live on the SF peninsula and am literally surrounded and inundated by these types. You can just see them hunched over the wheel of their subaru as they drive down 280 with their "Regime Change Starts at Home" stickers, or WTF? with a photo of W

How precious and entertaining is this window into their dark dank depressing world.

1:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just you all wait. You're laughing now, but we'll see who's laughing when those 24 business hours are up. Not you, us! We'll be laughing! That's right! Us! Laughing! At you! In 24 business hours!

1:41 PM  
Blogger Icarus said...

What? Still no word from Pitt himself?

How disappointing.

I cannot wait to hear the excuse. It's gonna be a good one.

Think he's started drinking yet?

1:48 PM  
Blogger Staci said...

They're falling apart, bigtime. Diversion sometimes makes things worse. And they are eating each others. Misha just fisked this from the Kos Kids:


I swear, these people make this crap up.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Icarus said...


THAT is frickin' hilarious. Everybody needs to follow that link.

So is the "weeping daughter lady" a truly disturbed moonbat? Or a very funny conservative troll?

It's gotta be a conservative troll. Got to be. I even have my suspicions who it might.

If that's for real ... wow. Somebody get out the butterfly nets.

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this site... This site is one of the first sites I visit every day.
Having said that, this is one of the best days ever since PJ took up the vast Rovian conspiracy.
Cant wait for more posts..:) Keep up the great job you are doing

2:47 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Holy shnikes, if I laugh at any more of this stuff, I'm gonna have to call 9-1-1! Wow!

3:00 PM  
Blogger Staci said...

Icarus, apprently, this Che clown has posts shit like this before.

We are dissecting at the Rott right now.


He starts and ends the posts exactly the same. I say we should have a concert to insert the middle. Bwaahahahahaha

I am cracking up that we evil cons have infiltrated their little world. I'm hoping that is a troll because otherwise, there is some major mental abuse going on there with that kid. Someone should troll over and ask this "Che" dude how old his fucked up daughter is.

3:27 PM  
Blogger Staci said...

Geesh, I can't even type with proper grammer. The tears of... laughter have messed me up sooo much, LOL. I just thank God I'm not operating heavy machinery, espeically today. Shoot, I would just claim LDH, liberal derangement hysterics. HAHAHAHA

3:57 PM  

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