Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Freudenschade, Baby!

Freudenschade, Baby! Apparently the DUmmies never learn. Not only did they suffer from a mass dose of Freudenschade over Fitzmas, the DUmmies fell for another round of premature Freudenschade jubiliation yesterday over the story of an Army Ranger who admitted to committing War Crimes only to have to eat a big heaping of crow later when it found out that the Army Ranger in question was FAKE. But FIRST.... The latest on the Hoaxmas Front. As of this writing TruthOut is sticking with their Partial Birth Apology in which they continue to stick by their Fitzmas fairy tale in which Karl Rove has ALREADY been indicted on May 12. Meanwhile, Pied Piper Pitt is still holed up in the Furorbunker hoping to wait out the backlash forces of Hoaxmas that are now beseiging his once mighty Third American Reich which began (according to him) with ice hockey fans screaming "USA! USA!" following the American victory over the Soviets at the 1980 Winter Olympics. Rumor has it that a certain Dr. Morell is currently administering strong doses of alcohol to Pitt in order to ease his emotional suffering during this turmoil. When there is a new battle on the Hoaxmas front, we will keep bring you the update as well as detailed analysis of Pitt's political Götterdämmerung.

And now back to the latest DUmmie Freudenschade.... Yesterday, the DUmmies temporarily forgot their Hoaxmas woes to celebrate the news that a former Army Ranger had openly confessed to committing war crimes as you can see in this THREAD titled, ""By my hand alone almost 200 were taken out, that's just a rough estimate." Yes, Freudenschade broke out all over DUmmieland over this news that was soon followed by the inevitable crow eating ceremony when it was REVEALED that, "The video of the Army Ranger is a fake." So let us now join the DUmmies in the midst of their Freudenschade celebrations in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble correspondent, whipping up another serving of crow for them, is in the [brackets]:

"By my hand alone almost 200 were taken out, that's just a rough estimate"

[Commence the Freudenschade celebrations, baby!]

Army Ranger Jessie Macbeth speaks about War Crimes he and other Rangers committed in Iraq with the encouragement and blessing
of their superiors.

[Oooh! Oooh! I sure hope I didn't drink up all the victory champagne celebrating Karl Rove's May 12 indictment.]

He's got the courage to speak out. To implicate himself in War Crimes. I can support this Ranger and any others that have the courage of their convictions to speak out about the atrocities they were encouraged or ordered to commit by superior officers. At the same time I am completely revolted by what he and others did to innocent Iraqi civilians.

[We have an extra big heaping of crow warming up in the oven for you, DUmmie LibertyorDeath.]

IT'S A FAKE!!!!!! He is wearing his beret on backwards. I doubt he is even who he says he is. It's a shame that crap like this gets posted on DU. Giving credibility to these kinds of lies demeans the whole site."

[Shut up you lousy KILLJOY!!! Let the DUmmies enjoy their Freudenschade.]

I'm not sure what picture this angry person is debunking, but it is not the picture in the video that I watched. His beret is "fine" and medals can't be seen as it's a head shot. Further he has some medals pinned to the outside of his picture frame and his moustache was shaven.

[Is that you, Marc Ash?]

I'm not gullible for giving a guy who wears his beret "differently" the benefit of the doubt. I don't believe nor disbelieve him.

[Jason Leopold has verified that this guy was definitely an Army Ranger.]

Still doesn't explain the sleeves. Why would a Ranger roll his sleeves like a Marine? Seriously, little shit like that gets pounded into your head every day you're in the military.

[I'll search for an explanation of this at TruthOut.]

I'm not defending him as truthful or not, but I think there was truth to what he said about the experience in Iraq.

[The Dan Rather Apology: The Army Ranger might have been fake but his confession was accurate.]

I admit to wild speculation. However I understand it's not uncommon to wear ones beret "wrong" regardless.

[And it's also not uncommon to lock down an entire floor of Patton Boggs for a 15 hour meeting complete with a Secret Service detail.]

gully, show us one picture, just one picture of another Army Ranger with his beret sloping downward to his left. Berets are ALWAYS worn sloping downwards towards their right.


It is time this country learned the truth about what exactly is going on over there...that our troops are being maimed and killed and are killing for a bunch of lies; lies that make a few people very, very rich.

[Would you like your crow well done?]

I don't recall any reports like this in the foreign media.
This would have been picked up in the foreign media if it was happening.

[This story won't be considered solid until TruthOut verifies it.]

Makes me sick that this adm is behind this cruelty.
No wonder so many are coming back from Iraq with messed up minds. This is awful.

[It's not polite to talk with crow in your mouth.]

He is presented as a member of Iraq Veterans Against the War -
I respect the group. If he is an IVAW member then I think he must be real - he couldn't pull the wool over fellow vets' eyes, I would not think.

[Excuse me. You've got some wool in your eyes.]

kick for the truth

[Enjoying that "Kick Me" sign affixed to your posterior?]

He's not a spokeman for the army. He's telling us what HE went through. as horrid as it is.

[According to the Arizona State University NEWSPAPER, MacBeth's worst combat experience was receiving poor service at a local coffee shop.]

Dan Rather was reliable too. But even he got tricked into a set up.

[So is MacBeth being Rathered or Leopoled?]

I just watched it, and I believe him. His mannorisms, his stutter is more pronounced when he talks about the things he did, the dis-connected thoughts... he's telling the truth.

[Is that you, Will Pitt, commenting from the Furorbunker?]

I believe anyone with a set big enough to CONFESS to War Crimes that are MOST CERTAINLY going on there. One more thing-Look at that guys eyes-there's ALL the proof anyone needs, right there.

[Your TruthOut journalist job application is currently being given serious consideration.]

I'm beginning to think DU exists in some kind of little fantasy world all it's own. That video is crap. I wonder how much the guy was paid to say that stuff.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll dressed in camo clothing for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

Have the freepers picked up on this? They would have a hay day - DU Admins better yank this article off line quick.

[Too late. It's already provided yet more comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies.]

I think we're all going to need a drink by the time this is over.

[Is that you, Will Pitt, commenting from Bukowski's?]

It would be us and IVAW who've been Rathered, where Macbeth is the faked document - containing stuff that's in fact real.

[Fake but Accurate: The motto of the Leftist media. And now on to the DUmmie Crow Eating CEREMONY titled, "The video of the Army Ranger is a fake."]

The video of the Army Ranger is a fake.

[Munch! Munch! May I have another helping of crow?]

I served in Iraq 16 months as a U.S. Army Ranger." April 23, 2004. The war was less than 16 months old at that point. He must have a time machine.

[I bet the DUmmies would like to take a Time Trip back to May 12.]

possibly the war started earlier than thought...

[Correct. And the Civil war actually began in 1856.]

I am so, so disappointed in some of the people in this community, but I know there are others who are reality based. We can't fight their lies if we live in a fantasy world of our own. I want a reality-based community, is that too much to ask?

[Yes. Much too much to ask of DUmmieland.]

These days, however, reality is taking a back seat on DU in favor of the new flavor of the month - "If I want it it must be true. Therefore, I shall pretend that it is."

[Okay Dorothy. Now lean back, close your eyes, and repeat three times: "Karl Rove was indicted on May 12! Karl Rove was indicted on May 12! Karl Rove was indicted on May 12!"]

Late breaking DU news... Karl Rove was indicted last week by Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald in the Valerie Plame affair. Details are lacking and we like it, but what the hell... it sounds good so run with it.

[Break out the victory champagne! Freudenschade, baby!]

If only they had known what an Army uninform looks like...
... the trick/stunt would have worked! Damn!!!!

[Damn that Faker MacBeth for not researching his scam carefully enough!]

Has Roves finger prints all over it. Pay some to lie, so that the real ones get discounted......

[The obligatory "It was all Karl Rove's fault" posting.]

well if that's the case, he sure has Iraq Veterans Against the War...pretty well fooled. Somehow I think that's unlikely. Not inconceivable I suppose, but you'd think they'd spot a fake pretty quickly.

[Unless, gasp, they were fake vets as well.]

It seemed like a hoax.

[It seemed like Hoaxmas?]

I am listening to his account now, though this is an awful story, unfortunately, it sounds REAL to me.

[A True Believer to the Bitter End and probably still waiting to see the May 12 date on the Rove indictment papers.]

When this blows up in this kid's face he can intern for Jason Leopold. He'll have an equal amount of credibility.

[MacBeth will become Jason Leopold's personal Monica.]

He could very well suffer from some kind of grandiose delusion syndrome

[aka William Rivers Pitt Syndrome.]

This guy has not even told the truth about himself. He has not told the truth about his service. The unit he says he served in Falujah with was at Ft. Benning at the time. No. I WILL NOT believe him on this one. As far as Jesse MacBeth is concerned, I believe he has to have someone else call his dog because not even Fido believes anything he says.

[How about Robert Luskin's cat with the healthy stools?]

The guy is a poser, and this story smells real bad. Remember the Rovian trick of "discrediting the source"? Stay vigilant. To me, it feels like this guy is the new TANG documents, a "fishing expedition" of a semi-believable story that is later easy to refute and ridicule. Don't bite.

[Too late. The DUmmies have already been hooked, landed, and gutted.]

Stay alert. If Rove is doing it, others will pick up on it. This could be some kind of right-wing discrediting hoax, or even a cadre of lefties trying to "heighten the contradictions" by publishing false information (sad but true). I'd hate to imagine anyone in gov't would stoop so low as to put this guy out there to discredit IVAW.

[Avoid being sucked into the vortex of the Perfect Rovian Storm while on your way to the Crow Feast.]


Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...


OMG! Thanks SO MUCH for posting this, PJ!

Those fish will bite on ANYTHING that makes them feel better... even if it means believing in invented attrocities.

Are ALL these idiots leftover hippies from the VietNam era? Do they still buy into the John Kerry "Jenjis Khan" diatribe?

Honestly, I let out an audible chuckle on the rants (and your comments).

Long Live DemonicUnderground! LOL

8:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please Will!!! Drink and blog some for us!!!!

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...



9:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! You rock, PJ!

2004, Killian Memos Part I: The Killian Memos
2006, Killian Memos Part II: The Indictment That Never Was
2006, Killian Memos Part III: Yet Another Military Phony

Remember kids, this is a "reality" based community. No, really!

9:32 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

Ya know ... I'm so endlessly amused by the DUmmies falling for every rumor that comes down the pike ...

... but an idea occurs to me, P.J. And I'll bet you've thought of it.

Ever considered trying to start a rumor? Make up something, an absolute fiction, that the DUmmies would lap up like warm milk?

Just to see if you actually MAKE (MIHOP) another Hoaxmas, rather than just (LIHOP) letting it happen naturally.

The only thing funnier than what the DUmmies do to themselves ... would be doing it on purpose, and then letting them in on the secret after a few thousand threads are started cheering on your fiction!

Just a thought. Please note that I in no way condone such an idea. It's bad, I say, bad.

But it would be funny :)

9:33 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

You'd think it would get harder for everyone to figure out their shenanigans after awhile...

I mean fake TNG memos, fake soldiers, etc... You'd think that the next go round would have the "imperfections" corrected.

Maybe next time?


9:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like the one who rues the fact that the hoax could have worked if MacBeth had only done his homework on the uniform.

And DUmmies, Rove doesn't need to intentionally plant easily debunked disinformation and fact stories to embarrass and discredit liberals. You guys do a bang-up job without his help.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...


Kindly stop reading my mind. ;)

9:34 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...



Hey - I heard Karl Rove personally ordered the use of chemical weapons against children and kittens in Iraq. Will Pitt said so.

Hmmm .... somebody should look into that ...

9:43 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...


That is NOT a rumor! I have the AFP report in my hand!

9:47 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

The DUmmies are just following the First Rule of Marketing:

"Never let the facts get in the way of a good story!"

I'm afraid Clarkie1 is in danger of a Tombstoning Ceremony for speaking Sense to Lunacy.

--Choose Ye This Day

(P.S.--Am I the only one who can't log on to FR this morning?)

10:22 AM  
Blogger PJ said...

Never mind I just got on FR.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is a real Ranger as will be revealed in only 24 business hours. Meanwhile, you're just $10 away from authenticating the story of 200 dead wherever this guy claims this bullshit happened.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like a war story from someone who was never in the war, or maybe never in the military. Did anyone ever hear him tell the story? Fairy tales always start 'once upon a time', and war stories always start 'now this ain't no s**t'. How did the phony start his story? Locate him and kick his a** everytime he steps outside.

10:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey PJ, Michelle Malkin has a post up about this story, you should track back to her.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

Hey, uh ... I don't mean to be mean, or superficial .... but, um, did anybody bother to just LOOK at the "Ranger?"

I mean, let's start with the obvious that Rambo himself wouldn't rack up a 200 person body count. No way.

But then ... just look at this guy. Does he LOOK like a Ranger to you? Does he LOOK like he could do one pushup?

I mean, seriously. If they were gonna fake this, couldn't they have found some muscklebound gay beefcake guy, get him a high and tight haircut ... you know, make it look a little realistic?

DUmmies are so dumb. It took me 1/10th of a second looking at that guy to know he was a fraud. Come on.

11:35 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

Now for something a little less funny. Check out this thread:


Do you see the comment that made my blood boil?

It was this one:

"So many piled onto his story
despite all the problems because they *really wanted* it to be true."

Get it? Liberals actually WANT atrocities. They WANT soldiers to have killed innocents (just like they want our soldiers to die) because it advances their political agenda.

Hook a DUmmie up to a lie detector test and ask a couple questions:

1) If it could be proven that American soldiers had never committed any atrocity in Iraq - would you be happy or angered that your beliefs were wrong?

2) If 20 years from now Iraq is a peaceful Democracy and people consider George Bush a visionary ala Ronald Reagan and the cold war - will you be happy that democracy prevailed or upset that you proven wrong?

3) Do you care about Saddam gassing his people, the rape rooms, the plastic shredders, the 300,000 dead Iraqis? Do you actually care about Iraqi civilians - other than as potential political pawns for the leftist anti-American agenda?

4) and the biggie: do you hope America wins in Iraq? Or do you hope we lose?

I'd very much like to see the results of that polygraph test.

I think we all know what we'd see.

I still can't believe this chump is HOPING for atrocity stories ...

11:47 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

By the way - check out some of the actually useful facts on that thread:


1) Turns out the kid had an Arab/Islamic name that was legally changed when he was 2 years old. (I was wondering! WFT kinda name is MacBeth, anyway, outside of Shakespeare?)

2) There's a warrant out for the punk's arrest for violating a protection order based on an assault charge. (Who the!@#$%@ could that kid assault?)


11:52 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

JUST CITIZENS published a statement from the Army here:


Hint: Mr.MacBeth ain't their's!


12:23 PM  
Blogger Kimberly Swygert said...

"How about Robert Luskin's cat with the healthy stools?"

Best poliblog-addict inside joke EVER. This post was great. I'll definitely check in at this site more often.

5:09 PM  
Blogger M. Simon said...

ROTFLMAO so hard I kicked the cat. And I don't even have a cat.

The folks on DU I really love are the "just because his hat is wrong....."

They have no clue about the military. It is called a UNIFORM for a reason.

What a bunch of maroons. Not a clue.

Thanks. Best entertainment I've had in weeks.

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, PJ,
I was looking forward to your slice and dice on this poser, and it was a gem! We've been having ever so much fun toying with it at the Rottie and CU.

4:16 AM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

No AM DUFU edition today (May 24) since I have to split out early. Maybe a PM DUFU, especially if Wee Willie emerges from his Furorbunker.

6:10 AM  
Blogger Dinah Lord said...

Thanks pj-comix.

Too funny.

Question: What's the ONLY way to read DU posts without a hazmat suit?

Answer: Read them at DU FUnnies!

Cheers - Dinah

6:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone who has met a real Ranger vet knows that this pencil-neck dweeb was never in it. My dentist was in @20 years ago and he could take out this little liar with one hand, no instruments required.

8:11 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

(cue dramatic music)

Has Rove been indicted?

(cue drum roll?)

Will Pitt ever show his sheepish face in DUmmieland again?

(cue horn crescendo)

Find out in our next episode ....

10:10 AM  
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