Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Fitzmas Freudenschade Spreads Far And Wide

[UPDATE #2: Linguistic experts have been consulted and the consensus is that the best definition of "Freudenschade" is the premature exhilaration at the anticipated suffering of others. In that context, I now present a Freudenschade song to the tune of Edelweiss, composed by that famous Tin Pan Alley songmeister, Charles Henrickson:

Freudenschade, Freudenschade,
DUmmie joy bears repeating;
Pop champagne, feel no pain--
Only thing, it's so fleeting.

Make 'em eat crow and the gloom will grow,
Gloom will grow and sour.

Freudenschade shoots its wad
In less than twenty-four hours.

[UPDATE: Michelle Malkin at HotAir.Com now has an hilarious VENT VIDEO discussing the Fitzmas Fiction story. Check it out!]

Freudenschade baby! It is rare that the birth of a new word can be precisely chronicled but in this case "Freudenschade" can be traced to last Saturday at 5:15 P.M. when DUmmie helderheid POSTED, "I'm FINALLY opening up that bottle of champagne! freudenschade baby!" Yes, we know this DUmmie really meant "Schadenfreude" which means taking malicious joy at the suffering of others but by incorrectly handling a word too big for this DUmmie, he inadvertently gave birth to a new word. "Freudenschade" means taking malicious joy at the gloom suffered by DUmmies and other Leftists who celebrate prematurely only to have to eat crow later when the event they are celebrating boomerangs in their faces. Think of the DUmmies popping open the victory champagne on Election Day 2004 when the Exit Polls showed Kerry to be a winner only to have that same champagne turn sour in their mouths when the REAL results came in later that evening. Think Terry McAuliffe gloating over the defeat of Governor Jeb Bush shortly before he was re-elected in a landslide. Think of the jublilation of the left over the CBS exposé of the Texas Air National Guard letters before that was exposed as a Mary Mapes/Dan Rather fiction. Yes, think of all these things and more and you can understand the Freudenschade of conservatives as time after time the Left is forced to eat crow.

The Fake Fitzmas story has also turned into a case of massive Freudenschade on a scale hardly to be believed. It has reached out and touched HILLARY CLINTON who, along with hundreds of top politicos at a meeting in Michigan, stood up and applauded the "news" that Karl Rove had been indicted. Fitzmas Freudenschade even made it into today's WALL STREET JOURNAL where all the players in the Fitzmas story (except for Pied Piper Pitt which must be KILLING him) was discussed. Bizarrely, even Miami Vice star, Don Johnson was brought into the Fitzmas Freudenschade as a possible source (later denied) for Jason Leopold, author of the Fitzmas Fiction. Meanwhile, the big player in the Fitzmas Freudenschade whose name was not mentioned in the WSJ, William Rivers Pitt, has been MIA. Perhaps he is just MIB (Mumbling In Bukowski's). So let us now use Pied Piper Pitt's drunken woes as a jumping point for this Fitzmas Feast. We now join our boy, Pitt, as he drunkenly SLAMS Head DUmmie Skinner for daring to question his veracity. Pitt's drunken post was so demeaning that it was quickly deleted from DUmmieland but NOT before someone copied and pasted it in the DAILY KOS where we now join it in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, dining on DUmmies dining on crow, is in the [brackets]:

Dear Skinner

When this story pans out, and all the little fish try to swim home, I am going to say "Sorry, you had the chance to stand with an ally, and instead, decided to say 'I find it very hard not to be skeptical.'"

["Dear Skinner...You had your chance to sink with me on the Good Ship Leopold but you blew it."]

You could have asked. I would have gladly explained the inside sourcing that I cannot reveal publicly. I would have told you. Happily. I would have explained how Joseph Wilson independently verified a half dozen other sources, none of whom are connected. We had a guy **deleted**.

[Thanx, Pitt, for OUTING Joseph Wilson as one of your sources. Whether true are not, you have just made him an ENEMY of yours along with Hillary Clinton, Skinner, and a whole host of other Leftists for turning them into fools for believing your Fitzmas Fiction. Freudenschade baby!]

I'd have told you, had you asked, because you are owed that much. But sadly, no. You threw me and Jason and truthout under the bus. Publicly, because you do not have the COURAGE to stand with someone who has stood with you. You couldn't even do it silently.

["You have BETRAYED me you lousy Judas!!!"]

This was a wheat-from-the-chaff moment, and you failed. You spend a good deal of time talking about standing strong, but you publicly f*cked one man who has stood stronger for you more than any other. Name for me please the New York Times and international best-selling book, translated into twelve languages, that thanks you and your site above anything else. First and foremost.

["This was a crap-from-the-garbage moment, and you failed MEEEEE!!! MEEEEEEE who has had a New York Times and international best-selling book that has been ignored in twelve different languages. MEEEEEEE who has always thanked you and your site above anything else. MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"]

There is one. Only one. Mine. Before my own mother, I thanked you.

["Ladies and gentlemen, my mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I thank you!"]

Yeah, yeah, we're 'ballsy' if we're right. But you made it 100% clear that you don't think we are. You could have asked. I'd have let you in. But no, you decided to cover your own ass.

["You don't understand. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Skinner."]

You're in the wrong business.

I am disgusted.

[Let's not forget drunk.]

You are no better than the cretins who have taken control of your site.

["This is the Pied Piper Pitt speaking. Some misguided cretins on this site still think they can pull a fast one on me. Well, they're very much mistaken. Since you've taken this course, the innocent will be punished with the guilty.....I will not be made a fool of! Do you hear me?"]

[And now we turn to the latest DUmmie villain in the Fitzmas Fiction saga. The one they are blaming for them having to eat crow. No, not Leopold & Lib. The mastermind of this deception in the asylum known as DUmmieland is none other than Karl Rove as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD hilariously titled, "Karl Rove Planted His Own Indictment Story."]

Karl Rove Planted His Own Indictment Story

[But of course. Doesn't he always?]

This is a favorite trick of his. He's a master at setting false expectations or supplying false information only later to find out it wasn't true, and thus, making his opponents look foolish. For reference, see the Bush/AWOL story of 2004. Rove planted those fake documents on CBS.

[DAMN Karl Rove for making us eat crow again!!!]

I don't doubt TO. I don't doubt the sources. It's just that where Rove is concerned you have to be 100% careful at all times.

[Even though Rove planted this fake story I still BELIEVE this fake Fitzmas story. I BEEEEEEELEEEEEEEVEEE!!!]

Well, if that's how it pans out,
then Jason needs to out his sources and get to the bottom of it. Go after the asshole.

[Pied Piper Pitt already outed Joe Wilson as a source and Jason Leopold outed Sonny Crockett as another source...until he retracted that outing.]

If it turns out that Jason Leopold and TruthOut were singled out to get their credibility smashed (like Rather), that actually means the White House recognizes their power in my opinion.

[The fact that Leopold & Lib at TruthOut were easily scammed makes them even MORE credible.]

Yea, the "Liberal blogosphere" said Rove had 24 hours..
And as you can clearly see Rove was actually given 26 hours before his indictment was announced.

[You're not up to speed on the latest time frame: 24 BUSINESS hours. And this won't include lunch hours, coffee breaks, water fountain chit-chat time, and general goofing off in the office.]

Don't see why anyone needs to look foolish if Rove planted it.
Makes Rove look like a manipulative liar.

[Oh no! Leopold & Lib don't look like complete idiots for spreading a False Fitzmas. Karl Rove is the real villain here for manipulating them.]

since 24 business hours will be up on friday then we will see who truthing the story.

[Friday? Oh yeah. I forgot about how we have to exclude lunch hours, coffee breaks, water fountain chit-chat, and general goofing off time in the business hours time equation.]

Could it be that a false story was fed to a handful of staffers going into a weekend when it would be less likely for any reporters to confirm some of the details in order to ferret out suspected leakers at a time in which the WH can ill afford any more leaks?

[Could it be that your brain will ever be defrosted?]

It's not good for the health to get all keyed up like this and then being constantly disappointed.

[It's called Freudenschade baby!]

After this f*ckup, who's gonna give the left-leaning blogs any credibility? (Besides the bloggers themselves, of course). Let's face it, Rove's people Dan Rathered us.

[A DUmmie works himself into a Lather over being Rathered.]

It's all about making him look like he exceeded expectations. If the expectation is that he will be indicted, then the opposite is true. Thus, when he's not indicted, he will look like a hero who beat back an over-zealous prosecutor and the wacky leftist blogs, who no longer can be trusted.

[Welcome to the PERFECT Rovian Storm!]

You mean...Leopold got Rathered?

[Something strange kinky sounding about that.]

that was one of my suspicions...
...as I mentioned the story to a couple other people. It may be just another Rovian trick.

[Of course, that didn't keep you from popping the cork on your victory champagne bottle over the weekend.]

Well, I'm not sure how to break this to my Dad...
He was so excited when he called me and told me the news. Poor man doesn't need anymore disappointments in his life.

["Dad, I don't know how to break this to you but it looks like we are going to have to eat crow again as the rightwingers enjoy another intoxicating dose of freudenschade."]

Fitz will indict when he indicts, or else he will not, but we can't make it happen with wild guessing and rumors.

[TruthOut and the DUmmies have certainly taken a big stab at that.]

This does smack of a Rove set up. If this is a Rove trick, why would he be doing this now? What is the significance of the timing?

[Because Rove enjoys watching DUmmie silliness every Spring.]

If Leopold ran with a story that said Rove's indictment was a sure thing...all the time knowing it wasn't a sure thing (which is my theory) then Leopold will have to pay the price. His reputation will suffer, as well it should. Sorry to sound so harsh, but IMO Leopold figured there was a good chance of a Rove indictment and he ran with a story without knowing the facts. I have no sympathy for him if it turns out he was bullshitting everyone.

[And don't forget Pied Piper Pitt. Don't leave out the Magic Man.... Well, there is much MUCH more to this unravelling Fizmas story which I will cover in the next edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. I fear that if I include more of this hilarity in this DUFU edition, I just might suffer an overdose of Freudenschade.]


Blogger ntk said...

LOL. This is hilarious. This is the 2006 equivalent of the Killian Memos.

10:13 AM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

Freudenschade baby!

10:28 AM  
Blogger Capitalist Infidel said...


Although I wish you would do 2 posts a day like you used to this one makes up for it. I've already read it 3 times today and laugh just as hard as I did the first time. Everytime I think they have to take some responsibility they come up with another excuse.

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your killing me over here. Just KILLING me.. LOL. I've already opened and downed two bottles of champagne in celebration of my Freudenschade! I can't take much more of this LOL :)

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PJ, I find this post offensive, and I give you 24 hours to remove it!

24 business hours, of course!

so, um, remove it by friday, great, thanks.

(Keep up the good work! You're killing me! Freudenschade!)

2:08 PM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

I would like to do 2 DUFUs per day but I'm more of a morning person due to being under the influence of caffeine at that time. Much harder to do a DUFU in the evening when under the influence of wine or rum.

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a bunch of suckers. It's a con artists dream.

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are just $10 away from being able to have our Freudenschade party/champagne bash...

7:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting link on this "neologism":


9:54 PM  
Anonymous japh said...

This site is one of my daily "must read" sites. I am surprised not many more post here.
These people are totally off the reservation. What world are they living in....

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Moonbat_One said...

The phenomenon defintely warrants an appellation. I thought of it more as "The Lucy Effect" or "Great Pumpkin Syndrome".

11:19 PM  
Anonymous DumbAss Tanker said...

PJ, are you sure that's not "Schadenfreude?" The word you're using is more like what the DUmmies are feeling...joy turned into pain. I, on the other hand, am feeling joy in their pain.

12:24 AM  
Blogger eveningschild said...

Sir, you have completely outdone yourself. I'm an old Leftist and I imagine we part ways on ideology, but damn if you aren't one clever "blogger" as they say. The Democratic Party of my youth has abandoned the interests of labor, and sold out to corporate sponsorship. I only have to check your "FUnnies" each day to see how messed up it truly is. I'm adrift in a sea of one-party lunatics, and I have to chuckle to keep from sighing. Thanks for the bellylaughs and keep up the good work. "Freudenschade." You almost made this old man wet his pants.

1:40 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

I am so good!
From my prediction of the previous posting:

>>>B) Claim it was yet another master-plan by the evil Rove cabal.

Oh ok, I'm not so much good as the DUmmies are reliably predictable, but holy sh*t PJ, this was one funny posting!

Is anyone keeping score of the Lucy-football-pulls on these idiots?

Skinner and armPitt on the "outs"?!?...
SHillary having a big, public orgasm over news "created" by lil' Willy?!?...
DUmmies heads expolding all over the nation?!?...
"Schadenfreude" doesn't even begin to describe it.

I guess now they can focus on proving that a plane didn't really hit the pentagon, even with the new footage... and the eyewitnesses... and the missing plane... Maybe Pitt will "scoop" some very important info on this one too! (G*d, make it so!)

Hey DUmmies, we'll buy your unused champagne at 10 cents on the dollar.


As always, well done PJ!

3:10 AM  
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