Thursday, May 18, 2006

DUmmie Uprising Against Pied Piper Pitt Over Hoaxmas

[UPDATE: Here is a song about the Freudenschade the DUmmies have felt over Hoaxmas. It is composed by that famous Tin Pan Alley songmeister, Charles Henrickson, and is sung to the tune of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"]:


Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,

If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--


Because they wanted Rove to walk

Just like he was a frog,

You should have heard the DUmmies talk

They read it in a blog!

But then their champagne bubble burst

Before they drank a lick;

They must be cursed to die of thirst'

Cause Fitzmas fizzled quick!


Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,

If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--


So when the DUmmies celebrate

Some supersecret "news,"

Just summon up this word and wait,

You've got a term to use;

But you should practice saying it

As often as you speak:

The DUmmies fall for piles of Pitt

At least two times a week!


Even though the sound of it is something quite pernicious,

If you see the DUmmie glee for things that are fictitious--


Pied Piper Pitt promises something big will be happening in a courthouse. When nothing happens at first, he asks us to wait just 24 hours. Eventually, nothing happens EVER and Pied Piper Pitt ends up with egg on his face. Am I talking about Hoaxmas? Well, yes, but I am also referring to a Hoaxmas Past that happened right around Christmas of 2004 when Pied Piper Pitt, on December 23, 2004, PROMISED the DUmmies that Kerry's people were filing a legal motion in an Ohio courthouse that could overturn the results of Election 2004. As has happened recently with the DUmmie premature popping of the champagne bottles over Rove's indictment, the DUmmies went into a state of jubilation over the impending Kerry victory due to the court filing. Even the phraseology used by Pitt in both of the Hoaxmas events to desperately buy himself more time were EERILY similar. The I just got off the phone with Jason Leopold of Hoaxmas II was the Just got off the phone with a bunch of the people involved of Hoaxmas I. And in both of them, Pitt "just got off the phone" to buy himself an extra 24 hours when NOTHING happened. Of course, Pitt wasn't as creative in Hoaxmas I with the 24 hour time frame since he was able to convert it into 24 BUSINESS hours in Hoaxmas II to buy himself an extra three days.

The similarities continue for both Hoaxmases. Pitt returned to DUmmieland yesterday to ASSURE the DUmmies that his latest Hoaxmas is legit while in Hoaxmas I we hear similar "assurances" from Pied Piper Pitt: Everyone: The very second I hear something, I will post it. Finally, one other similarity. Neither of the Hoaxmases went ANYWHERE. However, in the case of Hoaxmas I, the DUmmies quickly forgot that they were made fools of when they missed kicking Lucy Pitt's football and landed on their Charlie Brown Butts. There have been several other mini-Hoaxmases in between Hoaxmas I and Hoaxmas II but each time the DUmmies were happy to be fooled again and again and again. However this time, Pied Piper Pitt may have gone one Hoaxmas too far since the DUmmies are beginning to uprise against the Magic Man as you can see in this THREAD titled, "I would like to apologize to Will Pitt for what I'm about to say..." So let us now watch the DUmmie revolt in action over Hoaxmas II in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who would like to apologize to DUFU readers for what I am about to post that will cause you to spit up your coffee on your keyboards, is in the [brackets]:

I would like to apologize to Will Pitt for what I'm about to say...

[And don't forget to apologize to my DUFU readers for making them laugh so hard that they spit up their coffee all over their keyboards.]


I think you're a fantastic writer. Your books, your posts on DU, and your website. I think you have the potential to be a major news source for liberals in the decades to come.

[I think you have the potential to become a major humor source for comedians in the decades to come.]

But, retract your story. NOW. I understand you had your sources. I understand you believed what you were told.

[Which Hoaxmas story to you want Pitt to retract? Hoaxmas I or Hoaxmas II or all the mini-Hoaxmases in between?]

What were you told? You were told that Leopold's story was true. That Fitzgerald spent multiple hours at Defense Council's office on Friday May 12th. That he was there for the purpose of serving Karl Rove with an indictment. That the indictment was served and that Rove was informed that he had 24 hours to "get his house in order." Eventually this was changed to 24 "business" hours, we're past that too. So basically we're left with the scenario of a sealed indictment. Do you really think that Karl Rove would have appeared on Capitol Hill TODAY in a publicized Republic Congressional meeting if he knew he had been indicted? You can call Rove whatever you want, devious, aggressive, liar, sychophant, mastermind, criminal, etc. but what you cannot call him is dumb. He has consistently behaved, for over 10 years now, in a manner not consistent with "dumb."

[While Pitt has consistently behaved, for over 10 years now, in a manner CONSISTENT with "dumb."]

Sadly, it is looking more and more like that scenario is actually false. Personally, I think Rove's attorneys were being served with a target letter. Typically a Prosecutor in this circumstance would serve Rove with a target letter before indictment by the Grand Jury. And if you look at the timeline of past cases Fitzgerald has prosecuted, when an indictment was issued it was reported IMMEDIATELY. Your only saving grace would be the unusual step of a sealed indictment and an offer from the Prosecution to drop the charge if Rove will testify against the President or the Vice President. Highly unlikely.

["Dear Allah, please let Karl Rove be indicted, or I'm going to look like such a freaking jackass. Again."]

Don't continue to stain yourself over this. We all want Rove indicted. But not at the cost of ruining the journalistic credibility of one of our brightest young stars. Admit fault, continue to write solid stories. Overall, focus on the longterm and not the short. Retract it.

[Pitt NEVER retracts. He just hopes the DUmmies forget and then moves on to the NEXT Hoaxmas. And now that DUmmie ShaneGR has made his "apology," let's move on to the increasingly wary DUmmies who are JUST NOW starting to wake up to the antics of the author of Hoaxmas Present and Past.]

Give it time - it's "business" hours after all! Friday is the big day.

[I thought the big day was yesterday but I forgot to factor in the photocopy my butt time into the business hours equation.]

But, but, but, there's no such concept in the law.
That 24 hour thing was a riot. Whoever came up with that one had a really bad mescaline experience somewhere in the past, I think. So, there's no such thing, and it's illusionary. Friday has absolute no mystical significance. It's as relevant as today was. The grand jury is hearing other cases, you understand, don't you? Friday is nothing but the day after Thursday and the one before Saturday.

[Pied Piper Pitt is going to need a really bad mescaline experience just to kill the memory of the DUmmie uprising against him over Hoaxmas II.]

can we please wait to find out if it's false or not
before you demand he retract it? This is just getting stupid.

[Methinks you're stuck on STUPID.]

The "problem" is that it's already been demonstrated as false. The original story (do you need a link?) stated unequivocally that the "indictment" was a fait accompli, a done deal, a concluded enterprise. I could write a story claiming there was a huge tornado that wiped out Tulsa as if it were factual...and when it appeared not to have happened, can I just say "well, it's 24 hours...or 24 'business hours'...or in 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 eons?" The thing is, he could have avoided ALL of this controversy if he had just penned a story saying something like "Some sources have said there has been a signed indictment of Rove today...details to follow" but it didn't appear in print that way. The buck has to stop somewhere, it can't be passed off ad infinitum.

[Speaking of where the buck needs to stop, I am noticing some DUmmies hinting that Pitt was just an innocent victim of the nefarious Jason Leopold. However, as I have demonstrated, Pitt already pulled off Hoaxmas I in almost the exact same manner AND terminology as Hoaxmas II. Remember, Jason Leopold had NO PART in Pitt's Hoaxmas I. Hoaxmas II looks like a Pied Piper Pitt con game from the get-go so the buck needs to STOP with HIM.]

details of the article have been proven wrong... I'm not ready to write the whole thing off yet. I've got champagne ready if the fact that he was indicted turns out to be right.

[Too bad you already popped the cork on that champagne bottle last weekend when the Rove indictment announcement was first made with NO evidence so that champagne is now in the process of turning sour. Freudenschade baby!]

Jesus. Here since the very first day of DU, goddammit, and suddenly, I'm a cockroach who should be tombstoned for doubting the reporting and credibility of Jason Leopold. And for questioning why Will Pitt vehemently stands by the story and even the nitty-gritty details of the story. You're quick to lump those who disagree with you or even wish to just ask questions into some evil group that isn't on your side. Are we all agent provocateurs? As if I don't want Rove to be indicted. As if I don't care deeply about the DU community. As if I haven't admired and befriended Will Pitt throughout the many years we've been on this board together.
Just for asking questions? For expressing healthy skepticism? Really? Thing is, in the endgame, the story may prove correct. It might absolutely bear the correct dates to silence skeptics. You might be absolutely right. But if that happens, wouldn't you still regret your words, for lumping sincere questioners into such a hideous group? Posts like this scare the hell out of me.

[GOOD NEWS! As recently as a week ago you would have been tombstoned for daring to cast aspersions upon Leopold & Lib. However, due to Pitt's early AM drunken ATTACK upon Skinner a few days ago all bets are off and you are now allowed to freely slam the Magic Man in DUmmieland without fear of tombstoning.]

Karl Rove set him up.

[Isn't it OBVIOUS?]

Can we minimize the Will Pitt Roast to ONE BBQ session instead of slamming him in individual threads?

[You mean consolidate the uprising?]

We need a new avatar of a figure taking Alka Seltzer.

[Or of Charlie Brown flying up into the air after Lucy pulls the football away from him.]

William Rivers Pitt - The Box Set. Collect the whole set!

[With a DVD for each Pitt episode: Hoaxmas I, Hoaxmas II, Hoaxmas III, Hoaxmas IV, etc...]

I thought Leopold wrote the story?

[As we have seen, ALL of the Hoaxmases are Pied Piper Pitt productions for which he writes SIMILAR scripts: "I just got off the phone with...(you fill in the blank)."]

I for on, am just tired of playing "Charlie Brown" to the Blogger's Lucy.

[Remember my avatar suggestion above.]

They keep putting out the football...promising this news is the real deal; that indictments are imminent...and we, zealous for the the bloodletting to begin...fall for this time after time.

[And we, zealous for the comedy to begin...laugh at you time after time.]

I have nothing against WIll or Leopold or anyone else who writes for the blogs. But sooner or later we need to stop making excuses for so-called Journalists who do not do their homework. It's not always the MSM who is hiding the truth because the coporate muckity-muck told them to.. SOmetime bloggers get it wrong...sometime they make it up. A lot of times we are just to plain gullible

[You just hit the Trifecta with that last part.[

Again, this is not directed at Will or Leopold, but we continue to get baited by promises these folks put out and we need to slap them around when they get it wrong.

[Oh, we haven't directed our mirth solely at the antics of Leopold & Lib. Bev Harris also provided lots of bellylaughs with her being just $10 away from overturning the 2004 election.]

Eat your f*cking words! The indictments are sealed. Leopold was right!

[The Titanic sailed into New York harbor!]

The article is too far fetched to be believed. I have a hard time believing that the 4th floor of Patton Boggs was totally locked by the secret service or that Fitz and Luskin met for 15 hours on a Friday night. This stuff is outrageous and doesn't make any sense.

[It makes sense to me. The 4th floor was locked down by the Secret Service to keep others from hogging in on all the pizza that was delivered during that marathon 15 hour meeting.]

15 HOURS? What in Sam Hell could they have to discuss for 15 hours?

[I have a pretty good idea what topic Bill Clinton and Vernon Jordan could spend 15 hours discussing together.]

Questioning a DU sacred cow! Pass the popcorn! No matter how you look at it, the prediction did NOT come to pass.No matter how you may be disappointed, the OP has a VERY VALID POINT. Just more intrigue for those who will eventually write the made-for-TV or Movie script! Nobody could MAKE this stuff up!

[Correct. Most HILARIOUS stuff I've read in years!]

Leopold's article is actually quite hilarious. you have to ask yourself, where the hell does he come up with some of this stuff?

[From hours and hours of watching the Comedy Channel.]

Well, Leopold is an admitted drug addict. Maybe some of it is hallucinatory?

[The Hoaxmas as a Bad Acid Trip Theory.]

What story of Will's is he to retract? I don't get it.... I thought Jason wrote the story and Will only said he trusted that it be true? You can't put the Genie back in the bottle. Either Will was correct to trust Jason's story and/or Jason's trust in his sources, or he wasn't.

[The Will Pitt as Innocent Victim Theory. Not nearly as believable as the Hoaxmas as a Bad Acid Trip Theory.]


Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

I 2nd that, Icarus! Hah!

Doesn't this just say so much?:

>>can we please wait to find out if it's false or not before you demand he retract it?

I think I'll post a story that Ted Kennedy blows goats... I'll retract it if it's false.

OMG, the Lucy-football thing should be their emblem. PJ, you're the best.

9:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rove set him up!
The idea that Rove even knows or cares who LeoPitt and the DUmmies are is in itself the biggest joke in all this.

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pitt is a rising young star?

God help the loony left.

They'll need it.

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would howl with laughter if Pitt got tombstoned. Pitt's a moron and a real comedian. Second, is he really a licensed journalist? OMG...why?

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Pitt really a licensed journalist? OMG...why?

I'd how with laughter if Pitt got tombstoned.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Mr. Right said...

Hey, PJ!

You must have run out of Kewpie Dolls by now!

Dear God, they're waking up! They're figuring it out! My God, I'm frightened!

Hold me.

12:31 AM  

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