DUmmie FUnnies 12-23-04 (Charlie Brown DUmmies)

Anybody familiar with the Peanuts comics strip knows there is a yearly ritual involving Charlie Brown and Lucy. Lucy holds a football and promises the somewhat skeptical Charlie Brown that she won’t pull the football away at the last moment. Despite his skepticism, Charlie Brown manages to overcome his doubts every year and attempts to kick the football, which is ALWAYS pulled away at the last moment by Lucy, leaving poor Charlie to go flying into the air when his foot fails to make contact with the ball. Likewise the DUmmies are afflicted with this same Charlie Brown syndrome which has been in force since the election. The Vote Fraud football has been presented on numerous occasions to the DUmmies and they never fail to attempt to kick it, only to have it removed by Lucy in the form of Fate at the last moment. Over and over again the same football is presented to the Charlie Brown Dummies and no matter how often it is pulled away the DUmmies ALWAYS attempt to kick it again with much less skepticism that Charlie Brown ever showed. So once again, as we can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “KERRY TO ENTER OHIO RECOUNT FRAY,” the football is again presented to them, and despite the past history of yanking the ball away, they are only too eager to attempt another kick. And the person holding the football this time is none other than the infamous William Pitt, who has somehow divined that Kerry will somehow overturn the election despite it being 10 days since the Electoral College handed the victory to Bush. What has led Pitt to this conclusion about Kerry entering the fray is a mystery since Kerry has given no clear signals of what he plans. Perhaps Pitt noticed that Kerry scratched his ass with 3 fingers instead of the usual 4 that has given him such optimism. In any event, the perpetually missing Kerry has become the Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich. Blind faith without a shred of evidence has led the Democrats to believe that the elusive Face on the Grilled Cheese Sandwich somehow has the power to overturn the election after it has been officially declared OVER. The only difference between the Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich and the visage of the Virgin Mary on a Grilled Cheese Sandwich sold on eBay is that the latter has a much greater chance of performing a miracle than Kerry does of changing the election result. And for the services rendered by William Pitt for producing yet another outbreak of Charlie Brown Syndrome in DUmmieland, I present him with the DUmmie of the Week Award. So let us now watch the Charlie Brown DUmmies in action. The comments of the credulous DUmmies flying into the air due to missing the football are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching from the sidelines, is in the [brackets]:

Kerry to Enter Ohio Recount Fray

By William Rivers Pitt

t r u t h o u t | Report


Thursday 23 December 2004

2004 Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry will file today, in the United States District Court for the Southern District of Ohio, papers in support of the Green Party/Libertarian Party recount effort. Specifically, Kerry will be filing a request for expedited discovery regarding Triad Systems voting machines, as well as a motion for a preservation order to protect any and all discovery and preserve any evidence on this matter.

Triad Systems has come under scrutiny recently after Sherole Eaton, deputy director of elections for Hocking County, swore out an affidavit in which she described her witnessing the tampering of electronic voting equipment by a Triad representative. Rep. John Conyers, the ranking minority member of the House Judiciary Committee, has requested an investigation into this matter by the FBI and the Hocking County prosecutor.

Truthout will have more on this specific Triad allegation later in the day.

Previously, the Green Party and Libertarian Party has not fared well in their efforts to get emergency orders regarding this matter in Ohio. In order to pass muster with a judge, the individual or group requesting an emergency order for such a recount must show both irreperable harm as well as a substantial chance for success on the merits. While Green and Libertarian representatives have been able to show irreperable harm, they could not establish a substantial chance for success on the merits, because no recount would deliver Ohio to either party.

Kerry's entry into this recount effort changes the math on this matter dramatically. He can likewise show irreperable harm, and unlike the Green and Libertarian candidates, he can also prove a substantial chance for success on the merits because he lost the Ohio vote by a statistical whisker.


[Oh! Oh! OHHHH!!!! I’m already having massive urinations of happiness in my pants at this news! Let me at that vote fraud football, Lucy!]


I am a lawyer and have been for 27 years. I look at the situation just like I would if I were appealing a case. In law, there is something called the "harmless error" rule. It is what every lawyer fears who is appealing a case. It assumes there is no such thing as a perfect trial. It essentially says that in order to win on appeal, you must be able to convince the appellate court that there is a really good reason to believe that mistakes or errors made by the judge or jury likely caused the rendition of an improper verdict or decision.

Using this analogy to the present voting situation, if we are to convince the public at large that voting mistakes, error,and/or fraud caused Kerry to lose the election he actually won, we must have a clear and convincing consensus by the mathematical, statistical and scientific communities that such is the case. We simply do not have that now. We face the electoral equivalent of the "harmless error" rule.

But we can quickly fix this problem. I believe such a consensus is possible. How? By re-exit polling Ohio now. I am told by your nemises on Mystery Pollster that it would take the polling of about 16,000 voters in Ohio to achieve the requisite accuracy; such a poll would be so accurate that most scientists, statisticians, and mathematicians could not reasonably disagree with the results. They also believe that such a poll is not that unbearably expensive. I propose using three organizations to do one third of the polling each -- Zogby, Harris, and Gallup -- and have the results of the poll made public immediately.


[Re-Exit polls. It sounds SOOOOO scientific and, of course, supercedes ACTUAL votes. Let me at that Re-Exit Poll Football!!!]


Kerry has gathered the evidence, and he's ready to fight...that's my opinion.

[HALLELUJAH! We have SEEEEEEEN the Kerry Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich and it will work the MIRACLE of overturning the election for us!!!]




Forgive my ignorance, but does this mean that Kerry will be THE SENATOR to back up Conyers and the Black Caucus this time?
Pretty please, this is all I want for Christmas!!!

[Take a good solid bite out of that Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich with Kerry’s Face on it!]


Come one Kerry!!! We NEEEEED to see you!!

[Let me concentrate real hard on that Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich. I BEEEEELEEEEVE I see the Face of John Kerry on it. I BEEEELEEEEVE!!!]


OK, gang, you KNOW Kerry is going in because he has the evidence. It might be a very fun holiday season.


[WOO! HOO! It’s a done deal! Kerry has the evidence so he WILL be inaugurated this January. I BEEEEELEEEEEVE I can FINALLY kick that football!]


As cynical and depressed as I have been, I am still very heartened and happy to hear this news! Thanks, Will!

[“Don’t be cynical, Charlie Brown. This time the football WON’T be pulled away!”---Lucy.]


Significant development I wonder if the mainstream slugs will even mention this today?

[So far no but I BEEEELEEEEVE that the Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich can still pull off the miracle of overturning the election.]




But what is the point of a recount... there's not enough time to get it done before Jan 6?

[I too am becoming skeptical of this. Is that REALLY Kerry’s face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich? The more I look at it, the more it appears to be Seabiscuit.]




I don't think this news is anything more than hype.
If Kerry really wanted to win - he would have been in OH earlier. Remember how hard Gore faught? I'm so disappointed! I'm cancelling my reservations for Washington, DC for the Inauguration.
It's gonna be Bush, again.

[And so a Dummie Charlie Brown foot goes flying into the air after missing the football.]


I won't give him anything for waiting while others found the proof. But I'll give him credit for finally stepping up to the plate and taking the reins when we could lose it all if he didn't. Can you tell us where John Edwards is in this? Perhaps he'll work on the legal team? I can't imagine a better place for him as he concludes his term in the Senate.

[Edwards will be the Robin to Kerry’s Batman. And no one can handle a beauty compact better than Edwards.]


does this mean he un-concedes? and is that a real word?

[The correct word is “deconcedes. But in order to do that, Kerry must spend a few hours in the Deconcession Chamber.]


It's the holidays and this is great news. After all, if we really wanted to contest the election results, it would be worthless without Kerry's support and cooperation. Thank you, John Kerry! Again!

[Bless you, John Kerry! I will light a candle in your honor the next time I worship at your Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich Shrine.]


Sorry But I'm a realist. Bush will not be vacating the white house. Either it will be like last time and everybody will just bend over and take it or else there're will be massive civil unrest possibly leading to civil war and America will be changed forever. Happy holidays!

[Prepare the Vaseline!]


I gave gladly (at an amount well below yours, I'm sure) and contributed even more time. Nevertheless, I've wondered about Kerry's remaining $15 million. Now I know that it's for the challenges in Columbus, Olympia, Tallahassee and Washington.




[We already know that none of it is going into paying his campaign staff so he still has oodles of cash to spend.]


I do believe in Kerry, I do believe in Kerry, I do, I do, I do belive in Kerry!

[I sure hope you don’t get hurt flying into the air after Lucy pulls the football away.]


OK, who will post this at Freeperland so they can have a shitty XMAS!!

[Don’t worry. PJ-Comix is already doing this so we can have a lot of LAUGHS for “XMAS.”]


Oh, I imagine one of their lurkers here is already on it....so they can carp and whine about us 'libruls' trying to steal an election.

[YUP! We’re already on it because it is FUN to watch the Charlie Brown DUmmies go flying into the air YET AGAIN.]


I agree-he needs to un-concede and get his face out there.

[At least he got his Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich…or is that really the face of Seabiscuit?]


Finally, Kerry is stepping up to the plate, I hope it means a grand slam is on the way for us all, Democracy has yet a chance to live in our country. I do not care if it is screaming, kicking, yelling, etc. We need him to bring the real strength to this battle. He is the candidate we voted for and let us now back up those votes with support of him in our shared fight for every vote to count in a TRUE Democracy which we desire above all things. Thank you Will for playing Santa Claus this year, we truly just love you.

[The only grand slam will be your ass hitting the ground after flying through the air when Lucy pulls away that Vote Fraud Football...AGAIN!]


Thank you Will--I can now finally step away from the computer for a few moments, shower, make coffee and start my day with a more hopeful outlook than yesterday....


[After Lucy pulls the football away, you’re going to hit the ground HARD. Very hard.]


He just put on his helmet and came off the bench! GAME ON!

[GAME ON! Just run up to the football that Lucy is holding and KICK IT! Hee! Hee!]


I was so hoping this would happen. IMHO, the Kerry camp's timing has been nothing short of brilliant. By stepping in now instead of weeks ago, Kerry has preemptively neutralized the accusation that he's only doing this to overturn the election.

[What a BRILLIANT genius Kerry is. His timing is impeccable. He waited until 10 days after the Electoral College voted Bush in again as president. And I bet Kerry would have jumped into a lifeboat on the Titanic two hours after he sank with it.]


i didnt see anything come of the last time he used harsh word in document. why should i get excited now. we will see if this does anything, i can only go off the past and what will be. not seeing anyone hopping all over it.

[You are correct. Not ONE WORD about this in the press today. And AGAIN Lucy pulls the football away.]


Someone help me out here. Arnebeck doesn't represent either the Greens or the Libertarians. David Cobb, Green party filed a suit in the Federal Court? What action is Kerry joining? Does anyone know?

[Yes. Kerry is joining other snow boarders on the slopes of Aspen. Isn’t that TERRIFIC NEWS?]


Now to get the word out to the resident freepers on another forum where I am a regular. I'll post a link to your article.

[And don’t forget to post a link to the latest DUmmie FUnnies.]


Not a peep from MSM, as far as i can see.

[Your post was made at 1:00 PM today. And guess what, nearly 6 hours later and STILL not a peep about this in the news.]


It may be part of the plan when you release something on Dec. 23rd, when a lot of reporters are going on break, and putting the second-string people in charge--you aren't neccessarily looking for maximum coverage. It's like a Friday night "dump".

[Yes, it is all part of the plan for the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT to be totally ignored. And the plan is working beautifully!!!]


It's not unreasonable that the media will no publish on this news of Kerry's filing until he actually does it. That may not happen today.

[And it may not happen on Jan. 20.}


I haven't seen anyone else comment on ..This being filed in U.S. District Court. Isn't that a Federal Court which will bypass all the crap with the OSC? That also means that the Judge has U.S. Marshals at his disposal to oversee the materials to be locked down or take other actions including conducting a hand recount, canvassing registered voters to find those that had to leave, etc. I'd sure like to see the filing.


[Stare hard at the Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich and perhaps you can envision the reality of it being done.]


this can't be good, the court is closed today due to bad weather can they still file even thought the court is closed?
from the site: Due to continued inclement weather conditions, all Courthouses of the U.S. District Court, Southern District of Ohio will be closed on Thursday, December 23rd, 2004.

[The good news is that you will be landing on nice soft snow after Lucy pulls the football away.]


Kerry is saying he believes he can prove that he had a chance to win Ohio. He believes he can prove, substantially, that he had a chance! When he conceded he stated that the votes just weren't there. I see this as a complete turnaround! "Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" or something like that. Yipeeeee!

[Methinks you’ve been staring a wee bit too long at the Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich. It’s one thing to merely look at it but when you can also hear it speaking, you’re in big trouble. And now another comment from DUmmie of the Week, William Pitt…]


I still think it is a long slog and a long shot
but less so than it was two weeks ago.

[Less so than before the Electoral College declared Bush to be the winner? I pity Pitt. He needs to drop better acid in the future.]


the last paragraph is what worries me. Kerry is entering this because of letters and phone calls? Not because he has HARD evidence? Plus, he's not entering this 'completely'? Sorry, this is still NOTHING.

[BINGO!!! And this is why you see DUmmie after DUmmie flying through the air as Lucy keeps pulling that football away.]




A case Ohio revote activist says a Berkeley organizer for the voting rights group is on a conference call with DC right now and he says that KERRY has not joined the recount and that whatever we have heard is bulls##t.

[They Fly through the Air,

Heading for a Great Fall,

The DUmb Dumb DUmmies,

Missing Lucy’s Football.]


Kerry may well have not done shit unless pushed? Sorry, but this is all window dressing and bullshit. Flame me as a downer if you wish, but that's how this all reads to me. Just another tidbit being thrown to the deluded left who had thought they had a fighter working for them. I admit ... I thought so, too. Chimpus Khan will be crowned Grand High Mucky Muck of the World on Jan 20 and we'll still be out here with our collective finger in our collective ass.

[All HAIL our GLORIOUS EMPEROR CHIMPUS KHAN, the Grand High Mucky Muck of the World!!!]


There are going to be some people falling very hard on January 6th and 20th. Delude yourself into thinking this is some "BIG DEAL," but I'm here to tell you that this message is DOA -- dead on arrival.

[Yes, it is a very had fall after flying through the air whenever Lucy pulls the football away.]


Where in the world did you find out about this so-called "real evidence of fraud"? Because I have not come across anything that is indicative that Kerry has found any thing that would be considered what you call "real evidence of fraud." You say you have to believe that John Kerry knows a heck of a lot more than us and that he's a fighter. Fine. But I will not hesitate in reminding you of a very ugly adage. People readily believe what they wish to be true. Believe all you want about Kerry and this being only the beginning. Believe that silence is breaking. Nonetheless, know that as long as the vast majority of people who would be supportive of our efforts remain in the dark because of media blackout this cause is going nowhere fast. The silence is NOT breaking -- it is just getting more noisy.

[Hold on! I am staring very very hard at the Face on the Democrat Grilled Cheese Sandwich and it is telling me he will be working relentlesly to overturn the election results. I believe this is what the Face told me. I BEEEEELEEEEEVE!!!]


You are not going to lose this election. I repeat, you are not going to lose this election. The washington redskin's game predicted it. Washington made a game leading touchdown with just about 1 min left in the game. Dumbya won the election with just a month left before inauguration. But Washington had the touchdown brought back due to a penalty. Dumbya will get the election results disqualify ed due to fraud in Ohio. Green Bay went on to win the game. John Kerry will go on to win the election.

[I think you have a SOLID court case here. The election results MUST be overturned because Green Bay won against the Redskins.]