Friday, December 09, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 12--09-05 ("I'm beginning to think Al Gore is best person to unite the Democrats...")

The FUnnie thing about this DUmmie THREAD titled "I'm beginning to think Al Gore is best person to unite the Democrats..." is that it is CORRECT. Yes, Al Gore is the ONE Democrat that could unite the Democrats (while uniting the NORMAL people against him). However, one little problem. Although Al Gore could EASILY get the nomination, even over Hillary, he is NOT going to run. Why? Because Al Gore feels he is ENTITLED to the Presidency and doesn't want to go through the annoying campaign process. Gore wants the presidency just handed up to him on a silver platter. And since this won't happen, Gore doesn't want to subject himself again in real life to what is a continuing nightmare in his imagination. Despite his denials, Gore has NOT gotten over the 2000 election. He relives it almost every minute of the day. Even his current home in Tennessee looks like a White House. His bizarre behavior (polite way of saying "acting like a nutcase") is all a result of his 2000 election loss. So sorry, DUmmies. While Al Gore is the ONLY one who can beat Hillary, he WON'T be running. Therefore you DUmmies must sit back impotently and watch as mere bystanders as Hillary grabs the nomination before losing the general election in a landslide. As usual, the DUmmie yearnings for Al Gore are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, a bit despondent over being deprived of Al Gore entertainment in 2008, is in the [brackets]:

I'm beginning to think Al Gore is best person to unite the Democrats...

[True. Nowadays the Democrats will ONLY unite under a fellow Moonbat.]

I think Al Gore has a bad taste in his mouth from the 2000 election. He was real sour on politics after that ordeal. He gave everything he had, contrary to those that wanted more. He was physically burnt out from that campaign, in my opinion.

[I think Al Gore obsesses over the 2000 election even while lying in bed next to a snoring Tipper. He is thinking to himself: "537 votes. 537 LOUSY VOTES! And my own home state of Tennessee turned against me. Why didn't Bill help me out more? HE BETRAYED US!!!"]

However, he won as a populist, even as the DLCers were saying he was making a mistake. He came from far behind to win that race and was devastated when it was stolen. He made the mistake of listening to the experts who told him the best thing to do would be to not fight the Supreme Court. That was the end of the road.

[Shame on Al Gore for ultimately bowing to reality (before relapsing again). He should have set up a government in exile.]

But no one has spoken more eloquently or passionately since that time, whether or not we liked or disliked Al Gore. But I'm not sure he still has the fire in the gut. If he did, I think I could support him one more time. After all, he beat Bush.

[Al Gore will accept the presidency...but only if he can get it without having to work that ugly campaign thing again.]

I could support him if he would speak out against the war, budget cuts that hurt the poor, and tax cuts for the top .2% of Americans. He may have already, I just haven't heard him yet.

[You couldn't hear the SCREECHING Al Gore? What planet are you from?]

The reason he picked Lieberman was purely political...
All the prognosticators thought the election might come down to the state of Florida and Lieberman, being Jewish, would help carry that state for Gore, and perhaps the election. That was the only reason he was chosen, in my opinion.

[Hmm...Under the Alternate Universe scenario Al Gore would be elected President. But then he soon cracks under the pressure (as we have seen him crack over losing). Then since he would be mentally disabled, VP Lieberman is sworn in as President. The end result is the the war in Iraq is still pursued.]

He's high on my list of possible candidates provided he has learned to act like a human being.

[That pretty much disqualifies Gore right there.]

Today's news re Gore.
Al Gore's crusade comes to Stanford

[Really bad timing considering there is a record cold wave up North.]

I think Gore could win, and there are several strong VP possibilities.

[Such as Daffy Duck.]

Gore over anyone else being currently pushed for the job? ABSOLUTELY. In fact, right now it would be hard for me to think of someone who could do better. Except Howard Dean, of course. But he supposedly took himself out of the running.

[As did Al Gore.]

So, can Dean get elected? what's the answer? The Party is f*cked. Surrender.

[Turn over you white flags and swords to General Rove.]

Beyond that the series of speeches he has given in association with Move On over the last 2 years have been breathtaking. Truly inspirational.

[Breathtakingly comical. Those Gore speeches could be run over and over again in campaign commercials...for the Republican candidate.]

If he dumps the DLC and starts making the impassioned
speeches, southern preacher style, that I have seen him do when he is covered since then, I agree with you.

[LOL! That phony preacher routine is one of my favorite bits in Gore's comedy repertoire.]

I think he will actually not have to be drafted; he will pop up on the scene just when we think all is lost.

[Sort of like when Frodo Baggins threw the Ring into the fires of Mt. Doom when it looked like all was lost.]

Do we think it would be Gore vs. Clinton in the primaries?
That would be uncomfortable.

[But FUnnie. Very FUnnie.]

Yeah, he won't run. He said he won't run.
so leave him alone.. Of course he would be great, but SNL killed him. His manner is stilted, isn't that a stupid reason for not supporting someone. Welcome to Abercrombe and Fitch TRL Sound Byte American.

[Yeah. It was all the fault of his SNL skit that killed his political future. Nothing at all to do with ranting like a lunatic in public.]

Have you seen any of his speeches the last couple of years?
He comes off as very intelligent, of course--that hasn't changed. But he's also become something close to a firebrand. He shed all of his advisors and it's apparent that he went off somewhere by himself and thought about things long and hard. I think the fire in his oratory might surprise you.

[He's become something close to a lunatic. Actually I amend that. He has become a lunatic.]

His Bush-era speeches have been some of the best in Am. history
Impassioned, clear oratory for the ages.

[Oratory for the asylum.]


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