DUmmie FUnnies 12-08-05 ("The Butterfly Effect of a Blow-Job")
I admit that I BURST out laughing when I read the title of this DUmmie THREAD, "The Butterfly Effect of a Blow-Job." Yes, in one concise and HILARIOUS sentence the DUmmies have summed up what they believe to be the cause of all their current woes. If only, IF ONLY Clinton hadn't accepted a Lewinsky from Monica then today we would be living in a liberal paradise under President Gore. But nooooooooo! Clinton, accepted Monica's generous offer, and as a result, we are now condemned to living under the EVIL Bush Regime. I first came across the explanation of the Butterfly Effect in the excellent hurricane book, "Isaac's Storm." According to the Butterfly Effect theory just a slight change in the air, such as a butterfly fluttering its wings in Africa can set up a chain of causes that could lead to a hurricane. See, the few molecules stirred up by the butterfly's wings stirs up a few more molecules which sets in motion a chain of events eventually leading to a hurricane that wouldn't have happened if the butterfly had not fluttered its wings at a certain moment. In this case, the Butterfly Effect in question was Monica's fluttering lips in the Oval Office that set the stage for the series of events leading to Liberal Paradise Lost. As usual, the fluttering DUmmie frustrations are in Butterfly Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the a certain fluttering butterfly is a contituent of Hillary's, is in the [brackets]:
The Butterfly Effect of a Blow-Job.
[LOL! Thanx for the belly laugh, DUmmie. No need to explain further since I already know where you are coming from. However, for the less enlightened, please clarify what you mean by "The Butterfly Effect of a Blow-Job."]
It's time for a serious Come-To-Jesus Meeting here at the DemocraticUnderground.Com. It's high time that a lot of us (me included) face the cold hard fact that President Bill Clinton's shabby behavior with an intern while he was President of the United States resulted in the Democrats losing control of the U.S. Senate and in losing even a greater number of seats in the House of Representatives. Most of all, Clinton's misconduct cost Al Gore an even clearer-cut victory against then Texas Governor George W. Bush in 2000.
[Liberal Paradise Lost caused by a soon-to-be Jenny Craig spokesperson.]
The fact that our nation's right wing went into melt-down mode, into total hysteria in their utterly hypocritical and malicious campaign to wrongfully drive him from office through the impeachment process still does not change the simple stark truth that Bill Clinton, and Bill Clinton alone, allowed himself and the rest of us within the Democratic Party to be sidetracked from what we should have been doing into defending him.
[Speaking of going into melt-down mode and total hysteria...Have you been oberving DUmmieland since its inception?]
Bill Clinton should have put the good of the nation and the best interests of his Party first and should have had the grace to have resigned his office and thereby permitted his Vice President, Albert Gore, to step immediately into the Executive role in the White House. A President Gore, with Tipper at his side, would have had all the trappings of the Executive Branch at his disposal and would have carried the 2000 election in a landslide. Indeed, had Gore become President, I doubt that Governor Bush would have run in 2000 because Karl Rove would have known better than to challenge a popular sitting President.
[Just as laughable as your Butterfly Effect analogy is the idea that Bill Clinton would have put ANYTHING first ahead of his bloated ego.]
Al and Tipper Gore could have never been assailed for Clinton's tawdry conduct. It would have never stuck. Everyone knew that the Gores had a strong marriage, an enviable union, if there ever was one. And with out the Lewinsky stench hanging over the White House, Gore could have carried the day, perhaps in 50 states, with the nation prosperous and at peace in the world.
[You must have a butterfly fluttering around inside your head to think Al Gore would have carried all 50 states. As it was in REALITY, he couldn't even carry his home state of Tennessee.]
Instead, we had a stretched out, blood wrenching two year tug-of-war that exhausted all the political capital of the Democratic Party to defend Bill Clinton's right to be President. We never stopped to ask ourselves that old, but helpful question: Was that the hill that we all really wanted to die on? Well, we won the battle alright, but we sure as hell lost the war, didn't we?
[Yup! You sure did lose the war.]
We've lost, at minimum, two precious opportunities to nominate to the Supreme Court. We've lost millions of jobs to outsourcing. We've lost a $3 trillion Social Security surplus to a projected $10 trillion deficit. We've gone from being the champion of human rights in the world's collective eye to becoming military occupiers and the torturers of Abu Graib. We have fallen from the hope and promise of science and medicine to the backward darkness of back-wooded superstition and demagoguery. We have squandered the greatest economy in our nation's history and all the good that we could have done with it. We can't turn back time. It is what it is.
[Look at the bright side: Monica's contributions to the economy via her tacky handbags she pitches.]
But, fellow Democrats, don’t be down heartened. Don’t despair. We can still all crow alongside Bill Clinton that we did stop the impeachment and removal of a President from office. We did win that one, didn't we? But what a price we have all paid.
[Complete and permanent loss of power. But hey, Bill sure did have a good ol' time in the Oval Office.]
The butterfly effect of a blow-job.
[LOL! Congrats on the FUnniest DUmmie thread title I've seen yet! And now on to the flutterings of the other DUmmie Butterflies...]
Clinton should've resigned, and let Gore become President. It would've trumped the GOP's machinations, and we'd have a sane person in the Oval Office now.
[Al "HE BETRAYED US" Gore is a well-known font of sanity.]
LMAO! GREAT JOB! HANDS DOWN WINNER OF THE FUNNIEST THREAD OF THE DAY!!
[Of the day? Try FUnniest Thread title of the YEAR!!!]
I guess its just that I am so sensitive on the subject of that blowjob.. funny to say it that way huh? But I don't know, I appreciate humor just as well as the best of them, but it's so much harder these days...
[The Blowjob that Changed History aka Gone With The Wind.]
George Bush is the Clinton Legacy. That ought to get things
[We already know what got Monica humming.]
Yep, it was the blow job, mea culpa we got what we deserved
[Karl Rove Mind Control.]
The amount of PR effort and energy put into defending Clinton for impeachment, should have easily been able to get us national healthcare if we hadn't found it necessary to defend him
[Um...Hate to enlighten you on the FACTS but the Hillary Healthcare Plan bombed several years before the Butterfly Effect even started.]
Clinton handed the fundies and the repugs the moral stick they have been using for years to beat us up with. He knew he was being investigated, he knew his every movement was under the microscope, he and Hillary both knew of the "vast right wing conspiracy" out to destroy him and prove he was amoral. And, as he admitted in his book and at just about every public appearance he has made since writing the book, he got a blow job in the oval office "because he could". WTF? Clinton is reponsible for what we have been dealing with for the last 5 years, he gave the fundies, neo-cons the weapon, he made the party impotent.
[I see the irony here. Made impotent by a BJ.]
In theory that is a wonderful concept, but as we all know from practical experience and from recent history, that doesn't work. The man lied. Not only that, the man knew all along that he was under scrutiny and that they had been focusing on his indiscretions for years. Did you read his book? He said he became involved with that intern and got the blow job in the oval office because he could. That was his damned explanation. "Because I could." Christ, he knew he was being watched, he knew the vast right wing was out to smear him and he got a blow job because he could? How fucking stupid is that. He walked into the ambush. Thank God he really wasn't one of our military leaders, can you imagine the condition his forces would be in if they followed him into the enemy's ambush (that he knew about)? But wait, his troops (democratic candidates) did follow him and did lose offices and elections left and right, they were slaghtered. If that was not the most moronic, thick headed, egotistical blunder of his life, I don't know what is. And because of that act of gratification, (his not hers) the repugs were able to win elections after elections and seize the power they now wield over us, to the detriment of our nation.
[But...but according to dozens of liberal legal "experts," perjury is NOT an impeachable offense (unless committed by a Republican).]
Bill Clinton just had to give in to those luscious cherry lips.
[Sounds like a great pitch for a porno flick.]
Amazing, sad, but true. No BJ; no Junior.
Possibly no 9/11.
[So according to your theory, no Monica BJ, then no world terrorism. WOW! Talk about a Butterfly Effect!]
Rape victims are the true culprits !
Clinton commit a selfless act for the good of the country? No way.
[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]
It wasn't the blow job but the pathetic attempt to cover it up.
["I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."]