Friday, December 30, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 12-30-05 (Pied PIper Pitt's Fictional Response To DUmmie FUnnies)

Talk about Reality Challenged DUmmies! First William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt posts this Reality Challenged THREAD titled, "Going Too Far (or, my conversation with the Bush supporter at the bar)" in which he was MIRACULOUSLY able to reproduce in word-for-word detail a long conversation he had with Ty, whom Pitt described as a Bush supporter who, under the guidance of the All-Wise and erudite Pitt, was able to see the error of his ways. Maybe I am far inferior to the incredible Pitt intellect but, sans tape recorder, I would be hard pressed to reproduce in quotes a long conversation I had even a few minutes earlier, much less from a least a day before as Pitt indicated. Even some DUmmies cast aspersions on Pitt's claim of being able to reproduce his conversation in all its fine detail. Then late last night, Pitt posted a reality challenged (fictional) account of what transpired between us in this DUmmie THREAD titled, in Pittian style, "In the shadow of staggering assholes." Pied Piper Pitt's fictional fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to correct the fictional record, is in the [brackets]:

In the shadow of staggering assholes

[Still talking about your failed September rally, eh Pitt?]

FOR THE RECORD: I say "Some DUer" in the post below because he introduced himself on the phone with a DU screen name. I will not repeat it; I don't know if this person is a banned former member or what, but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous. Don't ask who it was, either in this thread or via PM. I will not say. Sufficed to say, the following did happen, and the person was a present or former DUer.

[Congratulations for getting to the fiction RIGHT AWAY. FOR THE RECORD: I am not now nor have I ever been a DUmmie. And "DUmmie FUnnies" which is how I introduced myself, is a DUmmie screen name?]

Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar:

["Y'all." Isn't that the type of terminology you ascribe to unenlightened Bush supporters in stark contrast to your own erudite commentary?]

["Truthout." Accurate description]]

Well, some folks in the thread I put up on this doubted that it was true. That's fine. I laid a challenge on the table: Ten thousand dollars says anyone can come to Boston, meet this guy, and hear from him that what I wrote was true. If I lied, I pay. If I spoke true, they pay. Strangely, no one took me up on it. Go figure.

[Why go to the trouble of hopping a flight to Boston? Making a phone call is a bit easier.]



Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.

[LOL! The fictional assumptions in that paragraph are astounding. First of all, I have never even been to Boston ever plus, I assure you I am not now nor have I ever been in the DNC. As to the "bosom of your hospitality..." Sorry, I don't swing that way.]

This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay. Demanded to read the essay to him on the phone, so he could ask if the quotes were accurate. Demanded and demanded and demanded, as if he had a right to fuck with this guy at work.

[Actually, inspired by YOUR challenge, I called a couple of Boston establishments asking if a Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. Two to be exact. Both told me no Ty worked there. End of conversation. Oh, and I checked my cell phone log and the total elapsed time of the call to the bar where Ty did work act was exactly 36 seconds. Hardly time to Demand and demand and demand. An account of those phone calls was posted on this Free Republic THREAD at Reply #72 right after they happened.]

Ever have a random stranger call you at work?

[Yes. And I always enjoy the break from the routine it affords me. Of course, I never actually talked to Ty when I made those first two calls.]

Add to that the rules of this place of work: Personal calls are for emergency use only. So my boy winds up getting talked to by his two bosses because this DUer called and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, to talk to Ty.

[I asked if Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. When told no, I hung up. Total elapsed phone time according to my cell phone log was 36 seconds. "Pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed?" Perhaps in your fictional alternate reality, Pitt.]


[Why write such astounding fiction? Continue...]

Because this DUer fancies himself a writer in his own right. But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling and the development of sources over ten years, this DUer wanted to take a shortcut. He called Ty to try to get him to say I lied in my story.

[Actually Ty called ME back later as I recounted immediately afterward in my Reply #111 in this Free Republic THREAD. He had NOT heard about your piece about him and was curious for me to read it to him. He even waited until I booted up my computer. Since the connection was bad, Ty told me he would call back later on a landline so he could hear the rest of the piece. Oh, and that part about "truth telling" by Pitt gave me a chuckle.]

In other words, this DUer tried to crawl up over my back, tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me. That way, he could write about it and make a splash.

[You've already been exposed MANY times in your own words here on the DUmmie FUnnies, Pitt. My fave was the bit about a fascistic "Third American Empire" and how rampant fanatical nationalism was born the day the USA won the 1980 Olympic Hockey Game against the Soviet Union.]

Too bad for him, though, that the story was true. Ty had his number from the earlier call, and I called this asshat back, and handed the phone to Ty. Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherfuckers calling me at work. Fuck off."

[WRONG AGAIN, Baked Bean Breath! You called me back and told me Ty was standing next to you when I asked if he was there. Then you REFUSED to let me read to Ty word for word your own piece. Get your fictional narrative straight, Pitt. Oh, and here is the account at Reply #129 at this FR THREAD immediately after you called me. Five minutes later (according to phone log) I called you back and Ty in that timeframe had somehow miraculously read that piece at the bar which sparked my skeptical antenna. An account of this posted immediately afterwards in my Reply #143 on this FR THREAD.]

Now here's the funny part.

[DUmmie threads are ALWAYS FUnnie.]

I got back on the phone with this poor excuse for a poop, and he tries to grill me on ANSWER, tries to grill me on impeachment, tries to pry a story out of his failed attempt to fuck with my friend. After I finished yelling at him, he said, "Well, I have a lot of good material now." It was pathetic.

[Not as pathetic as your claim that even though you admitted that PDA worked with A.N.S.W.E.R. to organize the September Rally, you yourself NEVER EVER had any dealings with ANYBODY from A.N.S.W.E.R.. Yes, you were hermetically sealed and remained virgin pure. Oh, and you claimed that you never read the leftist Daily Kos piece declaring the September rally to have been an embarrassing flop. More fiction, Pitt?]

But not as pathetic as when he said, "So, will you do a podcast for me?"

[That was in FIVE MINUTES later (according to cell phone log) when I called you back. Yes, I am planning a DUFU Podcast and to make it interesting I want guests who are either not into politics are have loony leftwing views like you, Pitt. Invitation still open. I'll even allow you to read your fiction on the Podcast.]

I told him to f*ck himself. Loudly, colorfully, offering both directions and a map.

[No directions and map did you give but you did curse colorfully. I'll give you that, Pitt.]


1. I don't lie in my essays;

[I BEEEEELEEEEVEEEE!!! I BEEEEELEEEEEVE that Pied Piper Pitt has the astounding ability to accurately quote long detailed conversations WORD FOR WORD days after they take place without the use of a tape recorder. I BEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

2. If you have questions, I am not hard to find;

[Why go to you for a source? Just from this post you are proving yourself to be a fiction spinner.]

3. Don't f*ck with my friends;

[Maybe you shouldn't PUBLICLY post private "conversations" with friends and then offer a money bounty on its veracity.]

4. Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous. Put the work in;

[DUmmie FUnnies already has the BIGGEST Ping List on the FR. However, I do give you credit for the wealth of comedic material you have provided the DUFUs in the past, Pitt.]

5. Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;

[Maybe Ty will eat YOUR liver when he actually gets around to reading how you portrayed him plus that public bounty offer you made, Pitt.]

6. Don't beg for a podcast after making an asshole out of yourself.

[I think it was more "ask" than "beg." Strange thing is that Publicity Hound Pitt, after initially rejecting the idea, then started to seem open to it. Offer still stands, Pitt.]

Final moral: We are all in this together, but some think this is all a big paycheck. This guy wanted to do damage to me in order to better his own pathetic state of affairs, and had no hesitation to f*ck with a friend of mine he had never met in order to do so.

[I'm not so sure he will be a friend of yours after he reads what you wrote about him. That plus your public bounty offer.]

In other words, some pigs think they are more equal than others.

[Try actually reading "Animal Farm," Pitt. It's anti-communist theme might even seep thru your thick skull.]

Anyway, this was my night. Fun, eh?

[Fiction, eh?]

Anyone who thinks being well-known (for me, even minorly well-known) is a good thing needs a beating. I can't write a personal essay without the people involved getting messed with.

[Maybe you shouldn't publicly offer bounties to defend your dubious veracity, Pitt. In any event, if your account of your original conversation with Ty is as accurate as the fiction you spun here, no wonder folks are casting doubt on it. However, thanx mucho for that chuckle about me being in the DNC!]

Thursday, December 29, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 12-29-05 ("The post impeachment administration: Powell-Gore?")

The only thing more bizarre than the DUmmie THREAD featured in the DUmmie FUnnies this morning where the DUmmies fantasized about a reality-challenged scenario where Bush gets chimpeached is this DUmmie THREAD titled, "The post impeachment administration: Powell-Gore?" As you might have surmised from the title, the DUmmies are already assuming the fantasy of a chimpeachment and are now planning on the makeup of the post-chimpeachment administration. Colin Powell isn't even in government any more but that small fact doesn't seem to interfere with the DUmmie fantasy as you shall see. Even more bizarre is that Powell would somehow choose Al Gore to be his vice-president. But wait, DUmmies! Why stop there? I mean since we are in your Alternate Reality, wouldn't Powell say to himself that Gore was really elected in 2000 and then meekly step aside and let Gore take over the presidency? As usual, the DUmmie Fantasies being channeled from the Alternate Universe are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, envisioning my own Alternate Reality of Petra Verkaik and Salma Hayek battling it out in a hotel room over who gets first dibs at my body, is in the [brackets]:

The post impeachment administration: Powell-Gore?

[Or Tooth Fairy-Kucinich?]

I believe that if the Democrats take the House after the mid term congressional elections, there will be an impeachment. Moreover, the Democratic majority will give cover to disgruntled Republicans to join the impeachment effort.

[How kind of you to give cover to the disgruntled Republicans of the Alternate Universe.]

However, we have to keep in mind that it is almost a certainty that impeachment will not change Republican party control of the executive branch. This is because the outgoing president will control the appointment of a vice president.

[Damn that Constitution!]

As during the Nixon administration, once Congress decides that impeachment is a real possibility, they will first have to force out a corrupt vice president -- then Agnew, today Cheney. It is inconceivable that Congress would impeach Bush, but allow the author and instigator of most of his crimes, Cheney, to assume the presidency.

[And don't forget Denny Hastert. We must get rid of him too! Plus everybody down to about the 145th level of succession.]

This raises an important question for Democrats: Who will be the post impeachment president and vice president?

[Why ask the Democrats? They have NO input as to the post chimpeachment president and vice president.]

Almost all the Republicans in the administration and the Senate are simply too tainted either by the crimes of the administration or corruption in Congress. Both parties' leaders will be trying to clean house, signal a move by the Republicans from the extreme fringe right policy positions and send a message to the international community that the US is ready to return to the "reality based" international community -- all in the same appointment.

[Your use of the term "reality based" already has me doubling up in laughter.]

Frankly, the only viable Republicans are John McCain and Colin Powell, and given the international crisis that Bush has created, Powell is the far more likely candidate.

[Thanx for just killing McCain's primary election chances in '08. Any "Republican" considered "viable" by the DUmmies needs to be prevented from getting the presidential nomination by REAL Republicans.]

At this point, however, because of the unprecedented fiscal, military and international challenges the federal government will face, Democrats need to insist on some kind of "government of national unity" -- in other words, the appointment of a Democratic vice president. The only Democrat with the stature to be vice president under those circumstances is Al Gore, both because of his experience as vice president and because he actually won the popular vote in 2000.

[This fantasy scenario will only happen with the proper astological alignment. Namely Uranus must be aligned in front of your face.]

You may disagree with this analysis and proposed administration, but I hope you'll agree that it's time for progressive Democrats to look ahead and begin planning for the post-Bush administration.

[How about the more modest goal of planning for your institutionalization, DUmmie HamdenRice ? And now on to the other DUmmie comments...]

powell is an asshole solidly in the bush pocket and the world knows he is a liar who likes to advance his own interests ... existing patriotic feelings in powell? NONE! so, why get rid of an asshole to put in place another asshole? sorry for the foul language. i have no other way to express my utter contempt for powell.

[Nice to see you get all worked up over a fantasy that WON'T be happening in this Reality.]

I don't disagree at all ... but the point is, that the Republicans will control the successor to Bush-Cheney. Powell lied about the war, but he has bee furiously apologizing and leaking his embarrassment ever since he left office. Surely you can see he is positioning himself for the succession?

[Yeah. Powell has nothing better to do with his time than planning for a DUmmie Fantasy scenario that WON'T be happening.]

republicans would never vote for GORE and on principle GORE should not stand with any republican in a ticket nor take second place to it. he would be another asshole if he, for a second time, would willingly accommodate the assholes.

[How noble of Gore to turn down a position that WON'T be offered to him.]

After all this national trauma, would you prefer ....
Powell-McCain? Or Powell-Santorum? If we are going to control a post-Bush administration, I think we need someone in at a very high level.

[Powell-Energizer Bunny?]

i am not dreamin' republicans are not going to let go of power and control and without the bush machine to act as their backbone...neither sanctoroom nor mackane have the charisma to do what bush has done...unless they are using diebold machines, i have the feeling that even with those two running the country, much of democracy would return to these shores. although, i may be totally wrong.

[Or totally deluded for extending even the least bit of credibility to this thread.]

The succession to the presidency is defined...I don't think your scenario accounts for the fact that the Constitution was amended to provide a clearly defined succession of the Presidency. How is your scenario going to get around the 25 amendment?

[By leaning back, closing his eyes, and clicking his heels together three times while wishing real hard.]

I guess the OP thinks it would go like this: Dubya is impeached and removed from office. Cheney becomes President and appoints a VP, say, Powell Cheney is then impeached and removed from office. Powell becomes President and appoints a new VP.


However, Bush will not be removed by the impeachment process. That is just a pipe dream.


So who will be the post-Bush prez if not Powell?


DUmmie FUnnies 12-29-05 ("Do you think bush will be impeached?")

Yeah, yeah. I know. Yet ANOTHER DUmmie thread about chimpeachment is being featured here. One really good reason for this concentration on chimpeachment themed threads is simply the total OBSESSION the DUmmies now have on this topic. Check out DUmmieland. There is now thread after thread about chimpeachment. The DUmmies are so obsessed by chimpeachment that they are now flooding the Democrats in Congress demanding this action take place PRONTO! Of course, Democrat demands for chimpeachment will prove to be poison at the polls as an issue for the Democrats which is why I enjoy reading all the DUmmie threads on this subject. Oh, and as to my use of the term, "chimpeachment," I have appropriated that name from the DUmmies. They have used "chimpeachment" as a way to mock Bush (aka Chimpus Khan) but I like the term because it mocks the whole notion of impeachment which the DUmmies also want to extend to the entire Bush administration and members of Congress down to the point where Kerry can be inaugurated as President. So let us now watch the DUmmies ponder the possibilities of chimpeachment in this THREAD titled, "Do you think bush will be impeached?" As usual the desperate DUmmie chimpeachment hopes are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, highly entertained by the antics of the DUmmie constitutional scholars, is in the [brackets]:

Do you think bush will be impeached?

[Please use proper DUmmie terminology: "chimpeached."]

Yeah we all know that he SHOULD but do you think he WILL?

[Yes. The chances of chimpeachment are excellent...somewhere between nil and none.]

not really.


Yeppers... Karma, baby!
We've reached a critical mass... we control them. Don't doubt it and they won't either.

[A critical ass reaches critical mass.]

Right on! That's we need more of around here, some positive attitude and FAITH!


The revolution is within... without war, there is no peace... yin and yang. We each need to find peace within ourselves, so that we can project it to the world. Enough of us have done this, we've already won the battle and we did it all ourselves. Now we just have to keep possesion of the reality (see Suskind's "we're an empire now and we create our own reality")... meaning the next staged attack, all of us should be screaming at the top of our lungs who did it!

[YUP! That's just the ticket. Create your own reality and you can BEEEEEELEEEEVE that John Kerry was inuagurated on Jan. 20....or that chimpeachment will take place.]

Well said, again. I think that place of peace within is so important. I agree that the real fight at this point seems to be to define reality. Our nightmares will exist as long as we cannot visualize a place beyond them clearly enough to see the blueprints from here to there. Once our minds are permeated with the blueprints, the truth, then our words and actions will also be, and the world can have a way out of the insanity.

[Find that place of peace within so you can define reality to the point where the blueprints of your minds can visualize the alternate reality where chimpeachment will take place before insanity takes over.]

Not until we have changed Congress. I don't think the repukes would ever prosecute one of their own, no matter how offensive the charge.
We can only keep the issue alive until the Democrats have regained power.

[Which, ironically, is LESS likely to happen due to keeping the chimpeachment issue alive.]

I think Republicans are going to see that, by Impeaching Bush themselves at the start of the campaign season, they can snatch the headlines away from all their own scandals, and focus all of the Blame on Bush. They can posture as reluctant but dutiful conveyers of the Peoples Will, sacrificing their political partisan ship for the needs of the nation, yada, yada.

[I think the Republicans are so stupid as to demand chimpeachment even though it is complete political suicide. Yes, somehow the Republicans will insanely follow the DUmmie game plan and make their fantasy a the Alternate Universe.]

I think Bush will be impeached by Spring. I think the move will save the Republicans from losing control of one if not both Houses. I think Cheney will step down prior to the impeachment "for health reasons" (actually, to get himself and his own legal problems out of the headlines) and Bush will be ordered to nominate a more moderate Republican as VP, who will then step up as President when Bush is dragged kicking and screaming from the Oval Office.

[I think the draft will be re-instated by Spring. OOPS! That was a recycled DUmmie prediction for LAST Spring. And the DUmmies were convinced that it was a slam-dunk correct prediction just like this one about chimpeachment.]

The repubs are not even close to panicking. And no, no, no, they will not impeach their own. And no, no, no, no, no, Bush will not be impeached, because it is unlikely that there will be a super majority.

[Somewhere deep in the DUmmieland Jungle a dim lightbulb clicks on above a thick DUmmie skull.]

Besides, Bush hit a low in the polls too soon. Americans are fickle, and won't be upset come next November, not to the degree they are now. Besides, I don't think there are even enough seats in the Senate up in that election to cause the shift needed. I could be wrong.

[But you are not, my soon-to-be-tombstoned DUmmie friend.]

From day one of this administration I've thought Bush was a figurehead, and that if things went bad he'd be set up to take the blame. Several times over the last few years I thought their jig was up. But they didn't yank away Bush's supports. In my mind, the Bush/NSA leak was the sound of those supports being pulled out. I'll stand with my statement, and we'll know by May if I'm wrong, or maybe sooner if I'm right.

[Why wait until May? We ALREADY know you are wrong.]

Bush's power is now extra-legal. Things like control of media venues, intelligence groups acting outside of judicial supervision, para-miliatary right ringers and thugs. His dirty tendrils have reached deep and it will take a lot to dislodge his power structure.

[Behold the power of your Emperor, the Mighty Chimpus Khan!]

He'll leave office on January 20th, 2009. Even with a Democratic Congress, he still won't be impeached.

[And you will be TOMBSTONED before January 20th, 2006.]

YES!!! 2006 is the key and here's how we do it:

1. force EVERY sitting congress-critter up for reelection to publicly identify how they would vote on articles of impeachment. We must pay VERY SPECIAL attention to those rethuglicans that were a part of the Clinton impeachment farce. We must have their words and commentary in front of the media as much as possible. Every little sanctimonious crack they made about lying, about breaking the law or about presidents stepping outside of their lawful boundaries should be force fed to the media at every juncture. In particular, the hypocritical ramblings of bugman delay should be shoved down America's throat. Everyone in America needs to be forced to realize that one of the main proponents of bringing down a president for lying about a consensual sexual act would willfully shred the Constitution to keep his greedy cronies wallowing at the public trough. And we need to make mainstream America understand that this is far worse than just a few rotten apples.

2. force EVERY potential congress-critter to publicly proclaim how they would stand on voting for articles of impeachment. If we have a potential congress critter that won't identify or identifies as bush* is OK, we target all resources possible to prevent their election.

3. we saturate the media with evidence of the media's past complicity in the Clinton sham and highlight their current collaboration with bushco*. The illegal boy-king would have never made it this far without the aid of the MSM. They must be made to feel the pain. We must expose them for what they are: tools and collaborators. Eventually something will make it through the white noise.

[4. Watch the Democrats suffer a landslide defeat in the 2006 elections due to following your "wonderful" advice.]

Maybe. We should try if we get Congress back. Who knows, maybe he'll really screw the pooch and it'll bring down Cheney with him. Then, with our Dem Congress, Nancy Pelosi will become our first woman president! I like to dream!

[Do DUmmies dream when they are in a deep coma?]

Yes. The moderate GOPers in Congress are starting to wake up...and see Herr Busch and the NeoCons for what they really are. They will join with the Democrats to impeach Herr Busch.

[Yup! That will happen...right after the draft is re-instituted as you DUmmies so accurately predicted.]

Many of us are realists. Wishful thinking is not analysis. Please count the numbers of Repub in both Houses, learn how the impeachment process works, and the tell me how it can happen without MAJOR help from the Repubs. Now do you honestly think - that is THINK, not wish - that we will get such help from the Repubs against their own POTUS?

[If you were a realist, you would have already been tombstoned from DUmmieland.]

not only won't he be impeached, he won't even leave office . . .
in 2008 . . . "national emergency," don'tcha know . . .

[You are correct. Bush won't leave office in 2008. He will wait until Jan. 20, 2009, my undereducated DUmmie friend.]

Perhaps not. But we should keep discussing it....Just to get "the I word" out there.

[And to provide lots of great comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies.]



Wednesday, December 28, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 12-28-05 ("Can we get beyond 9/11?")

The DUmmies are absolutely OUTRAGED over 9/11. Are they outraged at the actual terrorists who carried out the deeds? Of course not. This is DUmmieland we are talking about, remember? They are OUTRAGED that the NORMAL people are not outraged at the EVIL Bush Regime for making 9/11 happen and then "exploiting" the events for their own nefarious purposes. To read this DUmmie THREAD titled "Can we get beyond 9/11?" you would think that the REAL terrorists were peacefully sleeping in Talibanland while those 9/11 planes were hijacked by Neocons hypnotized by Karl Rove. And yet, NUttie as the DUmmies are, aren't they only voicing in public what many professional Democrat politicians think in private? Keep that in mind while reading DUmmie outrage directed at the Bush Regime in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that many major networks are also reluctant to show the Twin Towers being destroyed because they too want to "get beyond" 9/11, is in the [brackets]:

Can we get beyond 9/11?

[Yeah. Why don't we all just forget about it and concentrate on the crimes of the EVIL Bush Regime?]

The day that thousands of families, mostly American families, lost loved ones in the attacks in New York and Washington and the plane crash in Pennsylvania was a sad one, made more difficult by the panic over the vulnerability of our air traffic system. Now after more than 4 years, although these deaths still bring pain to many, they are statistically and numerically diminished when compared to automobile deaths, for example, or those from heart disease or even American bombing of civilians in Iraq.

[The deaths due to 9/11 were trivial...according to DUmmie logic.]

However, the damage from 9/11 is becoming incalculable in its invocation as a rationale for the damage to our nation by its current administration. How many more times can Bush stand up and talk about this day without someone shouting at him "Enough! You can't use that anymore! It didn't change a damn thing in this country except your willingness to appropriate it as a 'brand name' to further your Fascist agenda."

[The TRUE tragedy of 9/11 wasn't the deaths and injuries that happened. No. It was the fact that Bush was able to appropriate 9/11 as a brand name to further his Fascist agenda.]

The crashing of the towers was so much like a Hollywood disaster movie that I do believe our country has appropriated the images of that day as a colorful collage of national holocaust. Would it really dishonor the memories of the victims to just "get over it" and move on toward a real future? How about some thoughts from those who lost loved ones that day? Isn't it time to get beyond it?

[9/11 was just another Irwin Allen production so let's all just "get over it" and concentrate on important things like the Chimpeachment of Bush.]

I agree with you we allowed the tragedy to be exploited by fear mongers.

[Damn Bush for exploiting 9/11 by attacking its terrorist perpetrators!]

We need to get to the truth of 9/11. I believe that our own government was complicit in this event, which they have used to justify many worse acts, such as invading another nation. Our healing is in bringing out the truth of what happened on 9/11 - only then will people understand how completely we have been manipulated.

[I guess this puts you in the MIHOP camp (Bush Made It Happen On Purpose.]

No way. not until as many people as possible know who was really responsible for 9/11


[And we KNOW who that is---MIHOP.]

There's so much evidence out there that this government intentionally killed thousands of Americans and then utilized it for illegal wars and taking away our civil liberties. To move on without getting to the truth is a death sentence for the future of our country.

[FUnnie how with all that evidence out there about this government intentionally killing thousands of Americans on 9/11 we never actually get to see a shred of this evidence.]

We should be well past it by now however, bush and his administration have the millions of religiously insane drones and various and asundry racist groups that he needs to keep pumping the day for all its worth. I give bush a pass in this mess; its out neighbors who wave flags for a reason they do not know why and put magnets on their cars for no apparent reason and have no concept of how to support troops. The ignorant masses who clog the septic tank which is our current political system. And if any of you lurkers would like to set me straight please share your philosophy on the subject. Share with us why you are such dumbasses. Please tell us how 9-11 changed everything.

[Thank you for that touching expression of hate towards the majority of American citizens.]

never !! never !! never!! as a flight attendant for one of the 2 airlines involved..ny based..2001 flight attend of the year for my airline..i am now retired ( took early retirement because i no longer trust this government!!)

[WHEW! Thank God you have retired but please give us some more information about yourself so we can identify you and ensure that you never work with normal people in the air again, DUmmie flyarm.]

i grew up in Middletown Nj the town that lost the most victims...

[So you're a Jersey Girl, DUmmie flyarm? Continue to give us more clues about yourself...]

i will never get over the bullshit lies of this admin and the lies they have perpetrated on the american people!

[You have no idea how RELIEVED I am knowing you won't be my flight attendant in the future, DUmmie flyarm. Continue...]


[I've heard about passengers going nuts in the air. Little did I know this affliction has also hit some flight attendants. Continue...]

i will fight for the truth for my co-workers that were lost that day..and for the people i grew up with or their children lost that day..if it take till my dying breath!!


they deserve no less..and actually they deserve much much more than every damn american who is too lazy to fight for the truth.. and is willing to do in their memory..and for the pitiful americans who are too coward to know the truth!!

[Yeah. Pity those poor Americans who are too cowardly to face the fact that EVIL Bush Regime Neocons hijacked those planes. Please present us with more madness, DUmmie flyarm...]

you were lied to americans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Are you hearing any echos in your Rubber Room, DUmmie flyarm? Continue with your meltdown...]

big time!

[Have you ever considered running for Congress? You would fit in well with your fellow Democrats. Continue DUmmie flyarm...]

fly..who fights for the angels of my airline lost on 9/11 ..i will never forget them..and i will fight to death for their truth!

[Not only should you NEVER work as a flight attendant again, I hope you NEVER fly again DUmmie flyarm. How could any passenger feel safe knowing this NUTCASE is aboard?]

So there are two brands of "9/11" ... One is the 9/11 that Bush uses, the one that "changed everything" and woke us up to the fact that thousands of enemies want to destroy the U.S. and they are training night and day to do this, and that's why we have to put some limits on our Constitutional freedoms.

[Methinks you prefer the other "brand" of 9/11, DUmmie Ron_Green. Please enlighten us...]

The other brand of "9/11" is that our government either planned and executed, or stood by while knowing others were planning, the attacks on that day, in order to accomplish the big step toward Fascism this administration has taken.

[Yes, this is definitely the "brand" of 9/11 that is a big seller in DUmmieland. It wasn't the Islamofascist terrorists who carried out the 9/11 attacks. It was all the fault of the EVIL Bush Regime in their headlong step towards Fascism.]

ya know..i never had fear ...not in the air ..and not in my country...

[Thus spaketh DUmmie flyarm again while swinging the butterfly net at her FUnnie Farm. Continue screeching mercifully retired flight attendant...]

i never had my lips ..i have no frigging fear...

[Alright already! I'm reading your loony lips. You have "no frigging fear." Continue with the therapy session...]

i started flying when i was 19 yrs old..and i am 54 now...i have no fear..or i would never have gone into a tube in the air for the largest part of my life!

[Actually I think your mind went down the tube years ago, DUmmie flyarm. Continue howling into the wind...]

i have a whole hell of alot of anger...and i only got that when my government failed and failed miserably on 9/11

[Make that you have a whole hell alot of MISPLACED anger. Continue the rant, DUmmie flyarm...]

i got damn angry when i stood at my co-workers memorials and was lied to by my government...

[Would it be too much to ask for just ONE lie? Don't stop now. You're on a roll, DUmmie flyarm...]

i got even angrier when my nations media lied up their assholes about the murder of my neighbors and co-workers who were murderedd on 9/11

[Still waiting for that elusive LIE, DUmmie flyarm. Continue...]

but i got pissant mad when i was invited to a round table 15 participants to question one of the 9/11 a major front of the faculty of the university...and i asked 3 questions and my husband two ( hubby was tutored by me to ask specific..pertinent questions..) and the sob didn't answer one of my questions..and he looked like he would faint when i pulled out a picture of my graduation to my airline and my wing ceremony and the man who started my airline was at my graduation...and i stated he was rolling in his grave today at all the lies and bullshit this administration and this commission& media were selling a very falsely frightened country..

[The man who started your airline is rolling in his grave because you are pretending that he would buy into your LOOONY tinfoil hat theories, DUmmie flyarm. Continue spewing...]

i said the original owner and president of my airline..cared about 2 things more tha anything else..the safety of his passengers..and the safety of his crew members..i told this commissioner he has failed on both accounts! i asked him how he looks in the mirror and lives with himself...

[Did the original owner and president of your airline care for the mental stability of his flight attendants? Continue...]

this 9/11 commissioner started sweating and turned paste white with my opening statement and my questions..he didn't even attempt to answer me...but when my husband asked his questions..i thought the guy would my husband held him up and demanded answers and humiliated this 9/11 commissioner and all but called him a fraud...

[The 9/11 commissioner was sweating because he realized that you weren't frisked before entering the room, DUmmie flyarm. Please continue. The doctor is taking notes...]

there are somethings in life we must all hold people responsible for, and accountable for...and in the case of 9/11 AND this one has been held accountable for both failures or complicity..nor has any real investigation ever been done ..and that is the first time in US aviation history!!

[Complicity? I guess that makes you a MIHOP, DUmmie flyarm. Please continue as I count my blessings that you are no longer working in the air...]

all warnings were ignored ..was it deliberate??

[Of course it was deliberate. After all, we are talking about the EVIL Bush Regime here. Please continue with your RUbber Room rant, DUmmie flyarm...]

how will we ever know??

[By reading tinfoil hat conspiracy theories in DUmmieland. Continue...]

why was i as a flight crew not been given that warning as required by law??

[Um... Could it be because NO ONE had any warnings my self-centered ex-flight attendant? Continue the paranoia, DUmmie flyarm...]

why was norman minetta not given the warning..he was head of transportation..and he was not warned!

[See reply above about warnings. Give us more lunacy DUmmie flyarm...]

ya know bullshit only goes so far..i am done with anyones bullshit...

[You need to learn proper DUmmie terminology. It's "bushit." Continue...]



and noooo i will never forget my co-workers...and i will never forget my neighbors from my home sireee..and i will fight for the truth for them long as i breathe!

[Hey! I thought you said you were done, DUmmie flyarm. But I guess that only applied to your reasoning process. So give us another shot of wackiness...]

and i am sick of cowards who would give up their constitution with no damn fight ...for lies..or bullshit!

[It's "bushit." Remember. "Bushit." Now on to the other DUmmie rantings...]

you know, I can believe one airplane could be hijacked
with a slackened security, but four? Come on, something does not smell right. Every one of those terrorists passed security? I will not believe that all Americans are that inept. Also, how many minutes did it take to attack the pentagon after the second building was hit? I will never forget, and if there is another attack on American soil, I am going to put the blame where it originally belonged--this administration who wouldn't know the truth if it hit them over the head.

[And yet the DUmmies are now crybabying because the administration is monitoring the phone calls of the terrorists in an attempt to PREVENT another attack.]

go out and get a dem congress!!! no excuses...not now not next year.. just do it..get out and knock on doors..sign up with dem groups..and do something..go work with the people fighting these voting machines...just do something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!there is no time left for excuses..its your country fight for her! bust your ass for her!! just don't make excuses..that won't fly anymore!!put 100% of yourself into getting a balanced government!! with everything in your heart...just do it!!

[Thank you for that partisan input DUmmie flyarm. Hey, have you ever thought of copyrighting "just do it!!" I bet a shoe company would buy it.]

The atrocities against innocents in Iraq dwarf 9/11.

[Can we book you as a speaker at the next Democrat convention? Please be sure to include that "astute" observation in your speech.]

I don't buy the IHOP's, but 9/11 was and remains a criminal case. And that implies some possibility of resolution in identifying, tracking and apprehending the perps. It hasn't happened.

[You don't buy IHOPs? You prefer Waffle Hut?]

not until we find the truth about who did it . . . (hint: it was BushCo)

[REALLY! What a surprise...NOT! After all this is being posted from the Alternate Reality known as DUmmieland.]

we MUST find the truth about 9/11 -- nothing will bring BushCo down faster, harder, and more completely . . .

[Can we also Chimpeach your mind?]

DUmmie FUnnies 12-28-05 ("CBS Producer has New Documents related to Bush AWOL")

Have you noticed how quickly CBS ex-producer, Mary Mapes, has faded from public view? Her book bombed bigtime because NO ONE except for a few diehard loonies bought her completely unbelievable story. Mapes still contends that the obviously forged Texas Air National Guard documents that purported to prove that Bush was AWOL were authentic and that even if they were fake, the story is still somehow valid. Even many Liberals were embarrassed by Mary Mapes and hoped she would just go away. About the only TRUE BELIEVERS I have been able to find were, of course, in DUmmieland as you can see in this THREAD titled, "CBS Producer has New Documents related to Bush AWOL." The first post of the thread are several quotes from Mary Mapes which is presented as if it is Holy Writ. As usual, the Fake but Accurate DUmmie documents are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking Mary Mapes for creating the scandal that created the DUmmie FUnnies, is in the [brackets]:

"I actually was completely sure about the documents..." "We had lots and lots of evidence that the content was absolutely accurate, we had coroberation, we vetted it, and we meshed it with the initial documents or the official documents that the Bush people had put out for the past four years or so."


"The other thing that we had in that report that people don't mention is the first ever interview with former Lt. governor Ben Barnes, who talked about helping Bush get into the guard by making a phone call." "It was the documents that proved vulnerable to attack."


"I did through a researcher get a number of new documents that absolutly blow out of the water the kinds of charges that Howard and others used to attack these documents in the first place." "I now have a document here, from 1969 from the TX Air National Guard in Austin that has porportional spacing, I also have lots of documentary evidence that this existed..."


So Dan Rather got badly treated, speaker of truth kill by dark force. America bushit culture rear its ugly head.

[Yes, the Dark Forces of American Bushit culture destroyed the integrity of Dan Rather and Mary Mapes. The forged documents they used to support their report had nothing to do with it.]

Ahhhh ... I wondered why now? Then saw that she wrote a book. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ...


Not one single issue will pressure a congress, at this point to do the right thing. We have to do it from every angle. The more info exposing boy George as corrupt, the better.

[You have to do it from every angle, including using fake documents.]

I agree but also believed they Plamed her and is worthy of this...

[Another DUmmie word for the dictionary: "Plamed." It means to expose a liberal fraud.]

Greg Palast had a great article on this
He stated the reason why they went after CBS is because they would be the only one's who would cover the story and the Bush camp couldn't control CBS like the others.

[Yeah, and the fake documents were a mere side issue.]

I say we take every bit of ground we got
And this is a rather large chunk. First, he lied about his military service. Then Dan Rather was swift boated and this woman lost her job. Because CBS tried to tell the truth.

[Yes. I say grab that ground since it will cave in beneath you due to all those fake documents.]

Being AWOL, he wasn't eligible to run for president.
Add to the pile of felonies.

[Base the case for Chimpeachment on fake documents.]

as soon as the Dems take a house of Congress
they are going to bury this administration.

[You are giving away the Democrat game plan. They have no programs to offer. All they offer is their plan for Chimpeachment. A sure loser.]

It's Not So Much About Bush
As the mechanism that was used - the RW blogosphere - to discredit the report.

[Damn the RW blogosphere for exposing those fake documents!]

She lost her f*cking job. I hope she makes a mint off of this book.

[Unfortunately the Mapes book has BOMBED bigtime and her publisher will never even be able to earn enough off it to pay for her overinflated advance.]

I've read the book, no wonder they Plamed her.

[Ah! That word again. "Plamed." Not to be confused with "Wilsoned" which means lying and then pretending you didn't really mean what you lied about.]

what's in the book?
ok ok ok i'll borrow it from the library sometime, (can't buy it right now) but can ya drop a few juicy bits?

[Okay, here is a juicy bit. Even though the Mapes CBS report on TANG was based on forged documents the story itself is still accurate.]

I'm not saying she doesn't have credibility, I just know enough ... To stop drinking from a poisoned well.

[Be my guest. Please continue slurping from the Mary Mapes Poisoned Well.]

So I guess that means people like Al Franken, Joseph Wilson, Richard Clarke, John Dean, Bill Clinton and John Kerry have no credibility either?


Sorry, but I'm not buying your your line. The story was true before...and with the additional documents, it is even more true now. It has to do with "character issues", which will add to the overall case against Herr Busch when his impeachment rolls into high gear.

[Mary Mapes and her forged documents will be used as evidence against Bush during his Chimpeachment trial.]

Let's see the docs. I fear another colossal embarrassment.

[You demand proof? LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Good for her and good for you for posting this.
It's not going away, none of it and when this crime element topples, there will be a vetting that will send chills down the spine of all Americans. We need to see the truth, unvarnished.

[The unvarnished truth is to be found in those proportionally spaced, superscripted early 70s documents.]

He was a deserter, CBS fired a reporter telling truths because KKKarl and the rest of the dark side set it up that way. Freedom is over folks, get use to it.

[You do have a point. Have you ever noticed that no one has ever seen Karl Rove and Lucy Ramirez in the same room?]

And if you notice. The Bush White House has never said the story was false. Just the whole ordeal with the documents. Hmm, I wonder why that is.... Could it be because the story in of itself is true?

[The old adage is that if you see your enemy putting a noose around his own neck, don't stop him.]

This how Kerry got beat last election. Trying to make Bushes guard service an issue is what got Kerry beat the last election. It is a dead horse and the sooner we get off of it the better. With the quality candidate we had in Kerry and the issues that he was so qualified to deal with, we wasted it trying to talk about Viet Nam and Bushes guard service instead of the issues that really mattered. I think Rove and the Republicans suckered us in on this matter knowing that it was a dead end street. We did just what they wanted us to do and it worked for them.


[Allow me a moment to SAVOR your anger.]

I tell you what, if I'd been framed and fried like this woman was, I'd do everything in my power to restore my reputation, and politics and timing be damned.

[Or better yet, pad a book with a bunch of incredibly lame excuses made up solely to scam a 6-figure advance which her publisher can NEVER recoup.]

I agree 100%...hope she makes a mint!

[Where can we hold funeral services for your hope? Mapes' book bombed bigtime and didn't even earn back a fraction of her overpaid advance.]

That flat out pisses me off just to think of it....that people pass judgement on false and incorrect information.

[Thank you for that accurate description of the CBS TANG documents.]

I believe Rove was behind the fake document.
And I also believe it was based upon a real document. This was Rove's way of undermining and getting rid of the real story, while making CBS look bad.

[Of course! I mean, isn't Rove behind EVERYTHING?]

There's The BINGO! This Is Classic Rove

[I'm confused. First you say you believe Mary Mapes' contention that the TANG documents were authentic but now you are saying they were forgeries planted by Karl Rove. Please get your kooky conspiracy theories together.]

Rove has been doing this stuff for three decades, and he's never been honest one day of that time.

[Welcome to the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

I want to know the TRUTH.

[A statement like that could get you Tombstoned from DUmmieland.]

The Rove Smearboat Got Her. And despite the fact that she and CBS had the goods, the whole damned thing will no doubt sink into oblivion, as it was a pre-election issue. She is trying to save her name, and reputation, which is shot due to Rove. I would expect that some will see her as legit, but the Corporate Media will not give her the time of day.

[Let me see if I get this right. Mary Mapes had authentic documents but somehow Rove used those same documents to sink her credibility?]

Just because someone manipulated the facts doesn't mean there are no facts or that we have heard all of them.

[Another Classic Quote from DUmmieland.]

The most disappointing aspect of this story
and the most telling, was how the rest of the mainstream media competely turned their back on CBS and Dan Rather. Worse than that, they participated in the mocking of what was obviously a true story and, if the documents really were forged, which I haven't seen any conclusive proof of, likely a set-up.

[Oh, I see! The documents were authentic but if they were forged it was because they were planted by Karl Rove in a plot to discredit CBS.]

She was fired...her career destroyed--so Bush could keep his lie intact.

This is about the arrogance of power, the destruction of this woman's reputation, livelihood, career. For what? So Bush could continue his lie.

She was sacrificed by the administration--an example for all journalists to see: don't tell the truth about the administration or we will destroy you.

Her corporate bosses, her co-workers the powerful journalists, sat in fear and silence as she was destroyed, and along with her the free press.

Why is this important? Mapes is the epitome of the media today. She was one of the last attempts at journalism before the media morphed to the propaganda machine it is today.

Her story should be shouted from the rooftops and the blogs. Cause it will be minimized on MSM.

[Poor Mary Mapes. She was an innocent flower crushed under by the EVIL Bush Regime.]

Buckhead, the Freeper, was a Rove plant

[True. He was merely a mind-numbed robot being cruelly manipulated by his hypnotic Master, Karl Rove.]

I was in the Air Force at the same time as Bush
and worked in Purchasing, and Finance, and every damned section on every air force base I was attached to and I saw a LOT of Typewriters and LOT of documents, and I can flat out tell you that ALL of these documents WERE available in those typefaces with the characteristics shown by CBS.

Anything else is a LIE. I was there, I have ORDERS made out to ME that used those same typesets and typed fonts and faces. I used Typewriters all over every base I was at or was sent documents by everyone ordering parts and supplies.

What CBS offered was TRUTH, pure and simple.. I KNOW because I was THERE at the same time. I specifically went and dug out some of my old documents to check and I was very nearly going to post them at the time except I didn't want Freepers and the like to be spreading my info (again) and threatening me or my family - basically I don't want to go to jail for killing one of these assholes if they are stupid enough to bother me too much

[DAMN! You could have proved Mary Mapes to have been right and caused Bush to lose the 2004 election. Only your fear of Freepers prevented you from doing so.]

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 12-27-05 ("If Dubya gets impeached, should he be brought up on war crimes?")

As we have seen, the DUmmies are absolutely OBSESSED over the impeachment of George Bush. They are even so delusional as to think congress could jump the gun before the November elections because the Republicans would want him out also. Now the DUmmies have gone even beyond impeachment. They also want Bush sent to the Hague to be tried for war crimes as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "If Dubya gets impeached, should he be brought up on war crimes?" Therefore just imagine (think of the song "Imagine") the incredible FRUSTRATION level when Bush, far from being impeached or indicted, is HAILED for his efforts in the War On Terror. This will happen and one can only picture all of DUmmieland turning into a Heaven's Gate Cult at that point. As usual, the DUmmie demands as they await the arrival of their Mother Ship are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the DUmmies sink ever lower into the depths of madness, is in the [brackets]:

If Dubya gets impeached, should he be brought up on war crimes?

[Yes. Right after you plead insanity.]

I don't see why not. We've already established a precedent by putting other heads of state on trial (Noriega, Milosovic, Hussein). He's committed some very serious, heinous crimes already. It would have to be a UN tribunal, otherwise whoever is the next president might just decide to issue a pardon. How sweet would that be, having Bush, Cheney, Condi, Rummy, Ashcroft, etc rotting in some European prison (although Abu Gharib would be more fitting).

[Don't forget to support Ramsey Clark in his effort to free Saddam Hussein.]

Yes! The whole cabal should be tried and incarcerated.

[This will the Alternate Reality.]

While we have a good case for impeachment, I think there's an open and shut case for war crimes!!! Plus, there's so much evidence out there that they can't destroy and they wouldn't have control over the players, as they would here with all the Republican puppets on strings.

[An open and shut case. So why even bother with a trial?]

until we do this, we're no better than any other #1 nation
only if we do this do we finally prove our rhetoric, that we are a nation whose greatness does not lie purely in its military and economic dominance of the planet; that we hold ourselves to a higher standard; and that no one -- NO ONE -- is above the law.

[So why didn't Ted Kennedy serve jail time?]

HELL YEAH!!! If we ever want to gain back the respect of the world, we MUST show the world that we have every intention of holding these thugs accountable. If we ever want justice for ourselves, we must deliver it for others. It's a two way street, and these pigs are not above the law, U.S. or international.

[Which do you prefer today? Lithium treatment or electroshock therapy?]


[Imprison where? In the dark corner of your parents' basement where you are posting with drool covered fingers?]

Impeachment is a pipe dream. Ain't gonna happen.


Unless we get a whole new batch of Democrats in the house it won't happen. The ones we have in the house now just don't have what it takes to impeach, even if they get the majority. The only way the present Democratic representatives would vote for impeachment is if the Republicans started it.

[And the chances of that happening is somewhere between nil and never.]

dont care who starts it...they've trashed our country, our constitution..human rights...robbed america blind..have turned a basically good people albeit easily maniputlated into the rogues of the world..have proven incompetence ..arrogance...and any elected representative who doesnt step forward is guilty of the same damned thing....impeachment..and the hague..and then jail...for the whole bunch of them

[Followed by your institutionalization.]

send them all to Gitmo then flush their bibles. Waterboard the sons of bitches, forever. Even then it's not enough to repay the once great America for what they have done. Ugly bags of water, all of them.

[At what point did your bubbling bile turn to boiling venom?]

Regardless of impeachment bush should be tried for crimes against humanity. After the slaughter in Fallujah can there really be any question?

[Damn him for flushing out the terrorists!]

If there's anything we don't need in this country, it's someone who expects to be immune from prosecution for their acts while in elected office! I'm for dragging that bastard to the Hague by the heels. For those who think it'd be a "act of war" ... let it be Americans that do it, then. I'll even volunteer.

[And soil your tutu? I think not.]

There are no stupid questions, but this is close.

[Actually DUmmieland is FULL of stupid questions and this is TYPICAL.]

Nothing will change in America unless he is brought up on war crime charges - all of the Bush Regime must stand war crime charges (and they must be convicted - otherwise we know the trial is a farce as Bush IS guilty beyond all doubt)...otherwise America will once again sweep crimes under the rug ...and as long as America maintains that sick need to hide her crimes, she will NEVER be the America she could be.

[You want a trial but ONLY if Bush is convicted? I want you institutionalized but ONLY if you are NEVER released.]

DUmmie FUnnies 12-27-05 ("Kerry Won!!! Tool for Everyone to Prove It")

Have you ever been in the proximity of a member of the Flat Earth Society? If so, then you might have had the tedious experience of being subjected to endless "scientific" data to "prove" beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Earth is indeed flat. Likewise, the DUmmies are putting forth tons of statistical analysis to "prove" that Kerry actually did win the election in 2004. And speaking about 2004, this DUmmie THREAD hilariously titled, "Kerry Won!!! Tool for Everyone to Prove It-'Scoop'" was posted in DUmmieland YESTERDAY, not in the immediate aftermath of election 2004. Yes, the DUmmies still can't get over it. And like the pathetic members of the Flat Earth Society, they will overwhelm you with "facts" to "prove" that Kerry WON the election. As usual, the tool-toting DUmmie rants are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who has absolute statistical proof that Mondale beat Reagan, is in the [brackets]:

TruthIsAll Interview--Kerry Won!!! Tool for Everyone to Prove It-"Scoop"

[The Earth Is Flat!!! Tool for Everyone to Prove It---"Scoop"]

What more could you ask for on Christmas and the start of Hanukah. Well, it’s all here: the paper, the links, and the free Excel simulations. Happy Holidays!!!

[Happy Kwanzaa!!!]

Special for “Scoop” Independent Media
from Washington DC
Michael Collins
Dec. 21, 2005

[Methinks Michael Collins has consumed too many Tom Collins.]


The Law of Large Numbers & Central Limit Theorem: A Polling Simulation

Excel Polling Simulation Model

2004 Election Model Projection; Exit Poll Collection; Excel Interactive Election Simulation; Other links.

[My eyes glazeth over.]

The Kerry concession speech on November 3, 2004 marked the beginning, not the end of the controversy over the 2004 election. Just hours before the speech, Vice Presidential Candidate John Edwards emerged and said that, “John Kerry and I made a promise to the American people that in this election every vote would count and every vote will be counted."

[Including the votes the Democrats stole in the Washington state gubernatorial election?]

Democrats were in a state of shock. 2004 was a banner year for new registrations, party financial support, and activism. Reported new registrations favored Democrats all over the country. Democrats were well ahead of Republicans in new registrations in Ohio. South Florida, the “scene of the crime” in 2000, saw major Democratic efforts and a lackluster Republican response.

[Watching Susan Estrich's drunken face slobbering all over herself on Election Night, I would say the Democrats were well beyond mere shock.]

Democrats matched and exceeded Republicans in funds raised. For the first time, the internet proved to be a highly potent form of fund raising. The Democrats collected $10 million a month for the Kerry Campaign on the Internet alone. Other groups supporting the Democrats raised substantial funds. MoveOn.Org and New Democratic Network ran parallel campaign commercials and provided other support with the $25 million they raised during the election cycle.

Activism was at an all time high. People who had never worked in elections volunteered in large numbers and local Democratic parties throughout the country saw a surge in citizen participation.
While Kerry may have conceded the election at 2:14 p.m., Nov. 3, a large portion of the population failed to accept the final results. They knew something was wrong. As one Virginia activist said, “This is simply not possible, the national results or here in Virginia.”

[As one DUmmie said, "I BEEEELEEEEEVE!!!]


[Interview conducted in the Rubber Room.]

Why all this energy devoted to the 2004 election?

[To provide LOTS of comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies.]

I was appalled when the election was stolen from Gore in 2000. I had posted daily projections of my Election Model on DU in the four months leading up to the election. The projections were based on state and national polls. The final national model had Kerry 51.6 % of the two-party vote; the state model 51.8 %. The state model included a Monte Carlo simulation with a Kerry expected total of 337 electoral votes.

[All the Monte Carlo simulation proved was that Kerry won 51.8% of the time at the roulette wheel.]

The initial exit polls and the Iowa Election Markets showed that Kerry was a 3% winner. When Bush came from nowhere after 9 p.m. to win, I had this feeling of Déjà vu. So I decided to confirm the doubts using mathematical probability analysis, based on the
preliminary exit poll data downloaded by Jonathan Simon.

[The Iowa Cattle Futures Markets show that Hillary will be nominated in '08.]

Anything you’d like to say in closing?

[They're coming to take me away, ha-ha!]

I’ll keep posting as long as I have something to say. If my work has in some small measure helped to raise awareness, then it’s all been worth it.

[If my work has in some small measure helped to keep DUmmies frustrated, then it's all been worth it.]

The miracle of timing that made the full set of national exit polls available to the world and the election fraud movement.

[This miracle rates right up there with Our Lady of Fatima.]


11:00 p.m. EM Server goes down. Exit Polls available on the Internet.

[Is that all? I was hoping the EM Server would go down and make the Petra Verkaik photos from her paid website available free on the Internet.]


12:25 a.m. Final National Exit Poll captured by Jonathan Simon.
3047 Respondents: Kerry 51% - Bush 48%

[That poll had insufficient data. It didn't include the write-in votes for Mary Carey.]

1:33 a.m. Edison Mitofsky Servers come back online effectively ending Internet access to the National Exit Polls.

[It was all a PLOT to keep the world from knowing that Kerry actually won in the Exit Polls.]

2:30* a.m. Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards addresses the crowd and nation promising to “fight for every vote.” (time approximate)

[2:40 a.m. Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards wastes a half hour fussing with his hair and staring at himself in his beauty compact.]

1:25 p.m. National Exit Poll revised by EM to take final election results into account 13,660 respondents: Kerry 48% - Bush 51%

[AHA! So Bush actually did win the exit polls. Well, that makes it official then. Whoever wins the exit polls wins the presidency. The actual voting results are just a mere technicality. It is the exit polls which really count.]

2:14 p.m. Kerry concedes the election to Bush.

[2:20 p.m. Kerry buys himself an extra-large jockstrap and a huntin' license.]

This remarkable sequence of events was not the beginning of the end but rather the end of the beginning. The remarkable intensity of research, analysis, and debate that energizes the modern day election fraud movement was born crying “foul!”

[Yes, yes. Quite remarkable...YAWN!]


The Law of Large Numbers & Central Limit Theorem: A Polling Simulation

by TruthIsAll

It's for those who say: "Math was my worst subject in high school".

If you've ever placed a bet at the casino or race track, or played the lottery, you already know the basics.

It's about probability.

It's about common sense.

It's not all that complicated.

[It's about hogwash.]

It's for individuals who have taken algebra, probability and statistics and want to see how they apply to election polling.

It's for graduates with degrees in mathematics, political science, an MBA, etc. who may or may not be familiar with simulation concepts. Simulation is a powerful tool for analyzing uncertainty- be it coin flipping or election polling.

It's for Excel spreadsheet users who enjoy creating math models.

It's for writers, blogs and politicians who seek the truth:

Robert Koehler, Brad from BradBlog, John Conyers, Barbara Boxer, Mark Miller, Fitrakis, Wasserman, USCV, Dopp, Freeman, Baiman, Simon, Alistair Thompson, Krugman, Keith Olberman, Mike Malloy, Randi Rhodes,Stephanie Miller, etc.

It's for Netizens who frequent Discussion Forums.

It's for those in the Media who are still waiting for editor approval to discuss documented incidents of vote spoilage, vote switching and vote suppression in recent elections and which are confirmed by impossible pre-election and exit poll deviations from the recorded vote.

It's for naysayers who promote faith-based hypotheticals in their unrelenting attempts to debunk the accuracy of the pre-election and exit polls.

[It's for obsessive DUmmies who refuse to accept the REALITY of the election results.]

I thought I was going nuts the evening of the election. Thank God I found DU...

[...which is Chock Full O' Nuts.]

Welcome! Lot's of good stuff to use there.
With "the obvious becoming OBVIOUS" to the wider public, the theft of 2004 (and 2002 GA & 2000) becomes highly relevant. After all, we're talking about LEGITIMACY!!!
Why should the people wait for the lazy CM to report this? They can just download the Excel program and prove it to themselves.

[I guess the attendants won't have to beat you with rubber mallets any more. They merely need to allow you to download that Excel program to keep you calm and secure in the knowledge that the program proves that Kerry really won.]

* Supporters need to "get out of it", the WH that is.

[You merely need to show them that Monte Carlo simulation to convince the EVIL Bushies to exit the White House.]

Election fraud: See it, hear it, speak it...Everyday, all day, 24/7.

[Election fraud obsession: See it, hear it, speak it...Everyday, all day, 24/7.]

Monday, December 26, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 12-26-05 ("Throw Bush Out Now! Call for a National Recall Election in 2006!")

I LOVE looking inside my DUmmie Ant Farm. Those critters in there NEVER fail to entertain me. Earlier today, they were wishing for the impeachment of Bush by the REPUBLICAN Congress before the Congressional elections next November. And if you thought that was an idea completely divorced from reality, then check out this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Throw Bush Out Now! Call for a National Recall Election in 2006!" Of course, it doesn't seem to occur to the DUmmies that there is NO provision in the Constitution for a Presidential recall election. And even if they could get the wheels turning for such a constitutional amendment, such a process wouldn't even have time to pass until at least 2012, well past Bush's term in office. Yes, the DESPERATION on the part of the DUmmies to drive Bush from office is absolutely driving the DUmmies deep into the realm of the sanity challenged. Best of all is that the further into Bush's term we go, the more DESPERATE the DUmmies become, resulting in threads chock full of comedy material. Keep on crying, DUmmies. Your desperation translates into lots of incredible bellylaughs. As usual, the DUmmie desperation is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, posting from a ringside seat at the DUmmie Comedy Club, is in the [brackets]:

Throw Bush Out Now! Call for a National Recall Election in 2006!

[Pray for Space Aliens to deliver us from the Bush Family Evil Empire!]

In another discussion thread posted last night, someone raised the notion of holding a Recall Election for the White House, and the more I think about this idea, the more it makes sense to me.

[Who? Jeffrey Goines from "Twelve Monkeys?"]

Not a week goes by when King George hasn't been caught doing something so outrageous as to call for his impeachment, and the chorus is growing louder and stronger. The list of crimes will not be enumerated here, it's all been thoroughly delineated and hashed out.

Essentially, I think it's safe to say we have tried and prosecuted George W. Bush & Co., and we the jury have deliberated and do find all these evil bastards, Guilty as Charged.

We all thirst for Impeachment, but these proceedings are not likely to occur in this Congress (if at all) until 2007 and by then people will be gearing up for 2008 presidential election. So, it no longer makes sense to place hope that an impeachement proceeding will result in his immediate removal - it just won't.

[Uh-huh. Eighteenth century, no such thing, nada, nothing. No one ever imagined such a thing. No sane person. Along comes this doctor, uh, Semmelweis, Semmelweis. Semmelweis comes along. He's trying to convince people, other doctors mainly, that's there's these teeny tiny invisible bad things called germs that get into your body and make you sick. He's trying to get doctors to wash their hands. What is this guy? Crazy? Teeny, tiny, invisible? What do they call it? Uh-uh, germs? Huh? What? Now, up to the 20th century, last week, as a matter of fact, before I got dragged into this hellhole. I go in to order a burger at this fast food joint, and the guy drops it on the floor. James, he picks it up, he wipes it off, he hands it to me like it's all OK. "What about the germs?" I say. He says, "I don't believe in germs. Germs is a plot made up so they could sell disinfectants and soaps." Now he's crazy, right?]

But i do think that "We the People" might try something totally different.

Think out of the box.

[Think out of the mind.]

Take the matter out of the hands of Congress, and into the hands of "We the People, by demanding Special Recall Elections! Just in the same way we did here in California, which i opposed at the time..

(but i got to vote my opposition!)

I just can't imagine another Three Years with these dangerous thugs and tyrants in the white house.

The world simply cannot wait much longer.

[Your meds simply cannot wait much longer.]

So, what I'm asking for folks to do, is to think about this. To chew on it for a while (but not too long) and then imagine a world without the Bush Crime Family at the helm, sooner rather than later.

[I'm feeling an "Imagine" song parody coming up from Charles Henrickson.]

People said it couldn't be done in California (it had been done over a century ago, but not in modern times) and people scoffed at the very idea, and they said "no way" and enumerated all the reasons why it just couldn't or shouldn't be done. Many people (like me) were opposed to the notion of holding a Special Recall Election.

But it did occur. The People had their say, and despite the fact that the power of the State Government was in the full control of Gray Davis and the Democratic party, the Recall Elections occured, and the Governor was voted out of office.. We got stuck with aahhnuld (but he'll be out of here in the next election).

So don't think about how impossible this would be. Instead, think of the benefit of holding recall elections during mid terms elections, 2006 instead of 2008.

[Yeah, don't think about the fact that there was actually was a recall election provision in the California constitution but NONE in the U.S. Constitution. However, don't let that minor detail keep you from making your absurd proposal, DUmmie radio4progressives. Your comedy act is keeping us in stitches.]

It will lessen the pressure of our people in Congress, due to all these other matters at hand and their own runs for re-election they'll be too occupied with. I'm not arguing against investigation and impeachment hearings, i think those could go forward as they should. But in the meantime, we the people, can do our thing, there's nothing in the law that I'm aware of that says it can't be done.

[Sure you can do the Laugh Factory on the Sunset Strip. My friend Jamie Masada is the owner there and I can talk him into booking your act.]

The other reason why I think we can do this is because I think the nation is finally against Bush, i think the polls a month ago were roughly accurate. And with this domestic Spying issue at hand now, i think it's a really good time to do something sort of revolutionary for this country, i think we should do it.

Let's take this country, our nation, on the road to democracy!

What do you think?

[Here is what I think, DUmmie radio4progressives: Colonics for everyone! All right! You DUmbasses. I'm a mental patient. I'm *supposed* to act out!]

You can't have a recall election for whoever is holding the office of President. The recall election would have been last November.

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

Let's stand up for the Constitution by demanding an unconstitutional recall presidential election. Only then will democracy be safe.

[Yes. Let's STAND up for the Constitution by demanding that an unconstitutional act take place. Only then will my mind be safe.]

The people cannot hold a recall election, because the Constitution doesn't allow for that.


What if millions took to the streets demanding real change?
What if we just drove them out of office (without waiting for Congress to act).
Kings and dictators and politicians have been driven from office through massive protest before. We can make it happen here.

[What if a leperchaun left a pot of gold on my doorstep?]

What if there were a sustained campaign to demand the end of the Bush regime. What if there were strikes/ work stoppages?

[Not One Damn Dime Day.]

This is a a Call for Direct Action: A Call for a Velvet Revolution, for an Orange Revolution - it's a message we have to take to the streets and all of the other direct action forms - telephone calls, faxes, petitions, marches.
sometimes, time honored, non-violent civil disobedience may be necessary.

Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Mandel, Cindy Sheehan..


You can "rewrite the bylaws" by amending the Constitution too... using the process called out in the document. It's a hard process, but it sounds like you have the energy to try it. can just keep bashing your head against a wall.

[The latter appears to be the most likely outcome.]

I'm calling for a Special Recall Election. That is a difference of significant distinction.

[Oh! A SPECIAL Recall Election. Well, now that's different. I thought you were only talking about an ordinary recall election.]

It is the law and you cannot recall whoever is the President or Vice-President...the only form of recall would be something like Impeachment...and for that we would need to control Congress and also get some more Senate seats, because even if it passed Congress, it would then go up to the Senate and it takes two thirds of the Senate to vote for an Impeachment.

[Please don't discourage DUmmie radio4progressives. He's on a roll!]

Well Damn it to Hell ! Start a Movement to change the laws then! A system of governance that ours have been these past five years is completley untenable, it is essentially a totalitarian regime. These bastards control every single branch of our government, there is not a wit of independence anywhere in sight. And the Corporate Media operates as their mouthpiece. Waiting for congress to move with impeachment is woefully inadequate! It doesn't even guarantee resignation, unless there are congressional prosecutions and convictions! Our system of democracy has completely broken down, either we take the matter into our hands or kiss any sense of a democratic and free nation good bye forever!

[WHEW! I just knew you could work up a great comedy comeback, DUmmie radio4progressives.]

Put some more tinfoil in your hat. Those mind rays are seeping in....

[And those mind cells are seeping out.]

How about this. We hold a special election 1n 06 for Galactic Emperor who would serve as the president's boss.

[Emperor Palpatine is available.]

All calls for *'s ouster need to be supported. This is a good one because it makes sense. The election was a joke. Fraud is evident from all the requisite measures. Whether or not we KNOW it was enough to change the election is the criteria for a recall. Why? Because the administration cannot show us that they were elected. The "magical ballots," the secrecy of the vendors regarding access to their machines, the blatant disenfranchisement of voters of color...all of these call for a recall!

[I call for a recall of your mind.

There is nothing written in the Constitution which PROHIBITS a "Vote of No Confidence", however the Constitutionally prescribed METHOD does present barriers and obstacles in holding a Recall election, and obstacles in a "No Confidence Vote" procedure, since our isn't a parliamentary system, so it isn't designed for such procedures. But then ours isn't designed for a participatory democracy for that matter - which is actually at the core of the problem, i think you're trying to point out, but it isn't the same as being "un-Constitutional"

[There is also nothing written in the Constitution which PROHIBITS the drinking of a Yoo Hoo while standing naked in the middle of a freeway.]

What's wrong with a National Referendum in 11/06, a vote of
No Confidence? If Bush loses, and doesn't step down, he's impeached.

[I would like a National Referendum on your mental sanity.]

between what's left of our vestiges of democracy, checks and balances, and laws and the fledgling dictatorship (neocon backed by multi-national corp's).

[The Final Conflict---Nazarene, you have won... nothing...]