Tuesday, January 11, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 01-11-05 ("What are your plans for Inauguration Day?")

So what are the DUmmie plans for Inauguration Day? Many of them will be calling the Suicide Hotline Number: 1-800-BUSH-WON. But what of the others? As we can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What are your plans for Inauguration Day?” some of them play to lie in bed all day and cry but others are planning ILLEGAL activities such as tossing eggs and bananas at the President or at Freepers (which the DUmmies call anyone who is a Bush supporter). Fortunately, I happen to know that the DUmmie FUnnies are read by many government officials so the DUmmies have inadvertently alerted the law enforcement agencies as to their illegal activities. Here is how the drill is going to go: DUmmies will enter D.C. on Inauguaration Day carrying eggs, bananas, and other potential missiles. Then they will be STOPPED by law enforcement officers and such objects will be REMOVED from them. Then they will slink back to DUmmieland crybabying about how they were “harassed” by the Fascist Regime. So let us now read of the DUmmie plans for Inauguration Day. The DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, shivering on the outdoor Inauguration Parade bleachers, is in the [brackets]:

What are your plans for Inauguration Day? I'll be in DC...video cameras at the ready...eggs/bananas at the ready...ready for some freeper joisting...

[Don’t be surprised if your face “accidentally” slams against a Freeper Fist when you try to egg him.]

Throw an egg for me. It's my birthday, I'll be avoiding anything to do with it.

[You will also avoid having your face “accidentally” slamming against a Freeper Fist.

I'll have an egg or banana with your best birthday wishes

[And you will be wiping a lot of birthday cake icing off your face after it makes contact with a Freeper Fist the moment you toss that bannana or egg.]

Wake at 7.... turn off alarm. Realize what day it is. Cry. Put covers over head. Cry. Lie in bed all day. Cry.

[If your heartaches seem to hang around too long

And your blues keep getting bluer with each song

Remember sunshine can be found behind a cloudy sky

So let your hair down and go on and cry.]

protesting, wearing orange, in my hometown. cant afford DC but can afford to take the day off and go protest in Seattle. I'll wear orange and am still thinking of what to put on my sign.

[How about: “Still Visualizing My Own Reality”?]

What are the eggs for? If your implying that you might try to egg Bush, tell the SS I said hi. I am sure you will have plenty of time to talk to them.

[And then self-righteously post in DUmmieland about how the “Fascist Regime” harassed you.]

I've egged Bush's bus this summer, so I'm pretty familiar with the drill. It's a fast, quick motion. The eggs stay in your pocket until the last possible moment. Very exhilarating!

[Yes. You’ll find your visit to the D.C. jail to be “very exhilarating” DUmmie zulchzulu.]

I would have a good lawyer on call and retainer. You will be dropped like a sack of potatoes and whisked away before the egg hits the ground.

[And if the eggs hit a Freeper, Dummie zulchzulu will definitely hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.]

Boil one of those eggs before you throw it. I'll be in the rainforests of Costa Rica.

[Unfortunately for you, DUmmie tk2kewl, the only forest you will be in will be as part of a prison road crew wearing your beloved orange.]

For 24 Hours SHUT DOWN THE U.S. ECONOMY. Not one damn dime for gasoline. Not one damn dime for necessities or for impulse purchases. Not one damn dime for anything for 24 hours. Boycott Walmart, KMart and Target. Don't go to the mall or the local convenience store. Don't buy any fast food (or any groceries at all for that matter). For 24 hours, please do what you can to shut the retail economy down. Not one dime on pay per view, stamps, don't put mail in your mailbox, nothing. The object is simple. Don't spend, Don't work, Don't participate in the economy.

[I see you’re visualizing your own reality again.]

Is there going to be any kind of protest in the San Fran area?

[Yes. Lying in front of fast moving Cable Cars.]

Puke, puke, and puke some more.

[Try not to stain your orange diaper.]

I will wear black. I will wear a black armband, and put black flags up in my yard.

[Have you no fashion sense? The official “vote fraud” protest colors are orange and black…the Halloween colors.]


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