I, NanceGreggs, LUnatic ...
I, NanceGreggs, US Citizen ...
[I, NanceGreggs, LUnatic ...]
… do hereby declare that all fellow citizens who have participated in the use of torture, or the decision-making process that led to its use, or the “legal opining” that sanctioned it, are animals, totally unfit for living amongst the rest of us in freedom, completely unsuited to interact with ourselves, our family members, our friends – and, above all, our children.
[You overfed an imprisoned terrorist with orange glaze chicken and rice pilaf? I hereby declare you an animal, completely unsuited to be anywhere near my glorious presence.]
I further declare – nay, demand – that if you are truly of the belief that your efforts have been for the good of the nation and its security, you come forward and state your case – and allow the rest of us to be the judge of your behaviour and your actions.
[I further declare - nay, demand - that you allow me, with my superior morality, be the judge of your fitness to even exist.]
It’s easy. Just call your local “news” network and ask to be a guest in prime-time. You can then plead your case before the nation, and before the world. Hey, if you’re so sure you’ve “done the right thing” by all of us, you shouldn’t have too much trouble saying so in a public forum.
[Can they plead their case on "American Idol?"]
Be sure to have your wife and children in the audience as you look into the camera, and explain to the viewers how you knew what was going on, and said nothing – describe how you stood by and failed to lift a finger to stop the barbarity. You might want to throw in the phrase “I was just following orders” every now and then, just so we all understand your situation.
[You didn't lift one damn finger to turn off the air conditioning nor prevent the terrorist prisoners from getting second helpings on their chow. Yeah, and don't hit me with that "Just following orders" routine.]
Direct the cameras to capture the reaction of your family members as you make your excuses – let the world watch your daughter’s horror-filled eyes as you talk about having made the nation safe by water-boarding detainees who had never been tried nor convicted of any crime. Let the world see your son’s reaction, when he learns of your involvement in torturing children of his own age to extract vague information, rendered under the most horrific of circumstances, that you would later point to as justification for your participation in some nameless young man's unending anguish.
[Poor widdle terrorists. The horror, the horror, that we didn't tuck them in to bed and sing them lullabies.]
Let them, and the world at large, watch as you describe the excruciating pain you allowed to be inflicted on others, who had never been found guilty of anything – while you, as guilty as they come, beg for the understanding and mercy you never afforded others in their moment of torment.
[Hey Nance! You love them so much, why don't you wear a black bathrobe and join the Taliban? Be sure to cover your face or you get you head chopped off.]
Truth be told, I guess you and I are not so unalike. Because I want to see you sweat. I want to watch you squirm, like the worm you are, as you beg for mercy from your fellow citizens – as you grovel for forgiveness for your crimes against humanity, against your country, against your fellow man.
[NanceGreggs continues pronouncing the Rubber Room Manifesto.]
But if you are guiltless, as you now want to claim – why don’t you come forward and declare your innocence?
[I, Big Bob, am completely innocent of feeding Harold and Kumar a particular type of meat sandwich in Gitmo.]
Oh, that’s right, you can’t – because you are as guiltless as the guards at Auschwitz, Bergen-Belsen, Treblinka, Dachau – need I go on?
[If the prisoners at those locations had been fed half of what the Gitmo terrorists get to eat, they would have been in a state of jubilation.]
There is always a time of reckoning – sometimes it comes sooner rather than later, sometimes it catches you off-guard, just when you’ve lulled yourself into that false sense of security that tells you that you’re safe – because too much time has passed, and the world has forgotten your transgressions.
[Avenging Angel NanceGreggs. Keep her away from the kitchen knives.]
But this will not happen for you, my torturing friends. In a world of instant communication and access to the internet, your crimes will NOT be forgotten, nor your whereabouts relegated to some obscure news item that pronounces your current address as “believed to have escaped to South America”.
[Proclaimed the female Javert of DUmmieland.]
You criminals live among us – we know who you are, what you’ve done, and where you can be found
[And you can be found at Happy Town FUnnie Farm.]
And we will NEVER forget. And some of us will never rest until you are brought to justice.
[Look! Look! I just spotted Jean Valjean escaping into the sewer!]
Having said all of the above, all I can add is: “Have a nice day.” Because it may be your last – before you’re hauled off to face the consequences of your crimes.
[Hauled off to The Hague!]
Oh, and just one more thing, if I may? YOU DISGUST ME, EVERY LAST F*CKIN’ ONE OF YOU.
[Screached NanceGreggs at the moon from underneath the bridge.]
I guess that last bit needn't have been included - being so obvious and all. But I wanted to say it, just the same.
[You need say no more. Your Happy Town housing application has already been approved and your Rubber Room is ready for you.]
I am not alone in my anger, and my quest for justice.
[True. Happy Town has many other DUmmies baying at the moon.]
But you are alone, as you stutter your excuses.
[And what's YOUR excuse for the rabid drool?]
How's that feelin', right about now?
[Pretty damn good. Crazy people always make me laugh. And now to check the patient charts of your fellow loons...]
The shame will never go until there is accountability but elected officials and the press will deny us
[We shall not be denied our massive chips on the shoulders.]
Let them read the mockery of there excuses . . . in their grandchildren's high school history books.
[Only if their grandchildren go to school in the alternate universe.]
Just when I can't see how she could top the last one, she does in spades! Your excellence knows no bounds.
[Just when I thought she couldn't get any more looney...she gets more looney.]
The barbarians responsible for these crimes must face consequences and media starlets and pundits who condone this savagery should be booed off the air.
[Is any DUmmie on this thread the least bit upset with the head-sawing terrorists? Oops! Stupid question.]
You should be a script writer.
["I Was a Teenage Moonbat."]
What really pisses me off is that they just laugh at us.
[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You bet!]
i agree, the human race is unworthy and probably deserves to be eradicated ASAP in all shapes and form. i have a feeling mother earth will grant that wish soon enough. sucks being a parasite.
[WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!!]
This should be sent to every last member of the Bushista/crime family.
[They appreciate good comedy material.]
Nasty disgusting pile of shit freaks! Every last f*cking one of them!
[You look cute when you are rabidly foaming at the mouth.]
I think it is extremely important to prosecute those that did the hands on torture. There will always be tyrants like Cheney, Rove, Bush family, Yoo, Gonzo, Rummy, etc. But they have to find sicko people to do their biding. Prosecute the tortures. No "following orders" excuses. Let future possible torturers know that we will go after them with a vengeance.
[Shouted the lobotomy candidate.]