Presidential Campaign of Plugs Biden Dies At Birth

(NOTE: In response to some constructive criticism, I have tightened up the format of the DUmmie FUnnies so there is less white space on the blog. Let me know if you prefer this type of format and I will continue it.)

Joe Biden is like the high school kid who, not quite being in the "cool" group, desperately tries to talk his way in. I've seen the type. He is the guy who stands with his food tray in the cafeteria blabbering away to the jocks at the jock table, hoping beyond hope that he will be invited to sit with them. It never happens but it doesn't keep the blowhard from trying over and over again. And the more he tries to be in the "in" group, the less likely that it will happen. NOBODY, not even his own Democrats, wanted Biden to run for president but he decided to do so anyway. The result is that he immediately placed his foot in his blowhard mouth as soon as his campaign kicked off this week. However, there is an upside to the Blowhard Biden campaign. He is sure to provide LOTS of laughs for us. The material is already flowing from this Daily KOs KOmmie THREAD authored by KOmmie KOs himself titled, "Giving Biden the benefit of the doubt?" So let us now watch the KOmmies get upset over Plugs Biden in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, suggesting that Plugs WEAR THE HAIR, is in the [brackets]:

Giving Biden the benefit of the doubt?

[Yeah, let's give him the benefit of the doubt so he can entertain us again with another foot-in-mouth trick.]

It's sort of ironic that Biden stepped in it big time the same day he announces his exploratory committee for president. Let's recap:

“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

[I mean, that's a classic foot in mouth, man.]

So either 1) he's a patronizing asshole, or 2) he's a historical revisionist asshole. Either way, he's an asshole. And either way, the racial element is inescapable.

[I have a pretty good hunch that Plugs Biden never treated KOmmie KOs with any Blogola $$$.]

Update: I got an email from Biden's director of online communication claiming I'm giving a "one-sided impression" of Biden. Aside from the fact that this poor guy (Eric Carbone) thinks blogs are supposed to be "fair and balanced", it's true, I've completely forgotten to write about the other side of the story -- how Biden is a bought and paid for subsidiary of MBNA. When Bank of America acquired MBNA, Biden was likely part of the package deal.

[Yup! Definitely no Blogola.]

Neal Kinnock (sp?) is laughing.

[Watch out, Neal, or Plugs Biden will plagiarize your laughter.]

but they're all sooo... articulate! Except for Al Sharpton. He's just another gangster.

[That's gangsta.]

Biden has a bad case of foot in mouth disease. Probably a terminal one. Cuz it's sure killed his slim to none chance.

[On the first day of his campaign, Plugs Biden's chances went from slim to none to nil to none.]

Kinnock did the same thing with Thatcher. He cnstantly put his foot in his mouth.

[Plugs Biden plagiarized that too.]

Somewhere in Delaware, a village is missing its idiot.

[It Takes A Village Idiot.]

what frickin' storybooks did he read as a child? goldilocks and the three nicely groomed black people? the emporer's new pimp suit? hansel and moesha?

[I was always partial to the Hansel and Moesha bedtime stories.]

maybe Biden just meant that Obama is the first black presidential candidate who wasn't corrupt.

[Jesse Jackson and Big Sharpton will be pleased to hear that.]

Too bad our "first mainstream African-American candidate" happens to be half white.

[Such a tragedy.]

Articulate is such a loaded word. It's like saying someone is soulful etc.

[Or like saying a Japanese guy is sofu etc.]

He's an asshole. And his slipup, Freudian as it may be, is an insult to a lot of people.

[It was a Freudian slipup.]

Seriously, he has as much chance of winning the nomination as I do.

[Is that you, Tom Vlasic?]

Biden just has diarrhea of the mouth. He just talks and doesn't know what the bleep is going to pour out of his mouth.

[Plugs Biden had an Ex-Lax moment.]

Biden also says the Democrats don’t want to assume the presidency saddled with a war and have to be responsible for pulling the plug. "We can choose to hang together or choose to hang separately on Iraq. There is every incentive for us to hang together," he added.

[While he was pulling his hair plug, he succeeded in plagiarizing Ben Franklin.]

The guy's an ***hole...it's not even worth the bother of asking if he's "electable," because doesn't have enough support for it to be worth discussing...kind of like discussing the roadworthiness of a car that has no engine...

[Or the hirsuteness of a skull that has no hair.]

Jesse Jackson Can spit in my food anytime.

[Is that you, Ben Burch?]

How many times does this man need to announce his candidacy before he realizes that no one is listening?

[But they're definitely laughing.]

Are we not allowed to call blacks articulate? I'm not yanking your chain here. Do you think that this word should never be used to apply to black people?

[I know it really pisses off Seminoles to call them articulate.]

Biden's so yesterday. His time is past.

[Plugs Biden is the first Biden in a thousand generations of Bidens to be so yesterday.]

We owe Biden nothing, and better that Darwinian forces cull the weak early. BIDEN is the weak; let him rot.

[Survival of the fittest culls out those who throw the most fits.]

I think Biden is a bloviating jerk--but not for this. And I hate to pile on like a sheep where the shepherd of this site is none-too-subtly prodding me.

[And shepherd KOmmie KOs surely does love prodding his flock.]

I have no idea why Edwards and Clinton do not have enough guts to fight back. Maybe they plan to suck up to Joe after he drops out.

[Maybe they just don't want to stop Plugs Biden when he is in the middle of committing political suicide.]

Biden shoots his mouth off without thinking

[He just wants to fit in with his fellow Democrats.]

the issue that kills him will be that he's a blithering idiot.

[Another example of wanting to fit in with his fellow Democrats.]

He says too many stupid things. He loves to hear himself talk; he doesn't get along well with others. Even in the hearings last week, he interrupted other senators and responded to them as they spoke. He's sabotages himself all of the time.

[Again he wants to act like his fellow Democrats.]

He plays the religion game very well with voters. But I think he also knows it's a rhetorical thing--much like Clinton could always talk that talk.

[A KOmmie praises Obama by stating that he can play the pretend religion game just as well as Clinton did.]

biden is developing a pattern.

[That male baldness pattern started decades ago for Plugs Biden.]

Obama is BY FAR the most articulate cnadidate in the field, either democrat or republicrat.

[Racist!]

One time too many. People will only put up with it for so long. Delaware the slave state, Indians at 7-11, and now this. It's like my nickname. He has hit the trifecta.

[Now he goes for the perfecta.]

Joe Biden is in love with the sound of his own voice. He should never be seriously considered to be presidential timber.

[So you want to eliminate most of the current candidates?]

Biden talks first and thinks later, has for years (I'm being kind there and assuming that he does in fact think at all). He says a lot of dumb, ill-considered things. Now his dumb, ill-considered statements are going to make national headlines, something he should have anticipated. He needs to stop babbling, but at this point I doubt he's capable of it. It's just the way he is.

[He's just trying to keep up with his fellow Democrats.]

Right now I'm dating Obama but I might marry Hillary. Her "evil men" thing kinda reminded me of the Big Dog...in a good way.

[That HAS to be you, Ben Burch.]

Remember, we allowed the Dean Scream to kill him. It can't work if the people don't give it credence.

[That Dean Scream you heard? You really didn't really hear it. YEEEEEEAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!]

Looks like Biden's POTUS bid is DOA.

[RIP for the Senator from DE.]

does this mean... that biden will be making no appearances on dailykos during the upcoming campaign, to spout off some platitudes about the power of the netroots, answering three questions with one sentence answers and then leaving for his busy schedule?!?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[And no chocolate fountain at a Las Vegas Stratosphere party? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Indeed, Markos is acting precisely like those who attacked John Kerry on the botched joke.

[So KOmmie KOs has Swift Boated Plugs Biden? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

You left out the part where they found that the elder Kushner was schooled at a madrassa, and dated a girl named Haddasah, where he routinely slipped her his kielbasa.

[How dare you cast aspersions on Joe Lieberman's wife!]

another diarrhea-mouthed, ivory tower Senator like Kerry and so many others, who think the world revolves around them and are out of touch with the real world. They're almost as bad as Republican thieves; they steal our time and our hope again and again.

[I knew there was something positive about Plugs Biden.]

Senator Joe Biden announced that he was checking into therapy today. "Recent idiotic statements that I have made indicate that I need a full theraputic workout to get to the core of my problem."

[Will he be in the same ward as the Breck Girl?]

Let's hear him discuss the $100,007.00 he's taken from AIPAC to subvert US policy in favor of a foreign government, killing thousands of innocent people as a result.

[The Zionists implanted controlling brain chips while doing his hair plugs.]

Biden said something bigoted, made worse by his previous slave state comments. It seems like a trend to me. If a Republican had said these things we would be all over him. I still don't understand why Biden "gets the benefit of the doubt" or "gets a pass." Why?

[Because he is a D-E-M-O-C-R-A-T.]

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