"25 years and still no significant other..."

It is my belief, from study and observation, that much of the political orientation of the Left comes from their positions as social outcasts as it has to any devotion to a collectivist political system. Often when I see a car with a BDS bumper sticker I speed up to get a look at the driver. Not to flip them the finger or anything like that. My motivation is to get a good look at them and try to figure out what is wrong with them. Usually, I can spot an angry looking goofball in an instant driving such a car. Thus we can spot DUmmie CrazyForKucinich's real problem in an instant as you can see in his THREAD titled, "25 years and still no significant other..." He is so asocial that no woman wants anything to do with him. Most likely many other DUmmies are equally asocial which explains their hate and anger. So let us now watch DUmmie CrazyForKucinich explain his 25 year dry run in the chicks department in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that DUmmie Steve2470 at least got himself a DATE before being ultimately shot down, is in the [brackets]:

25 years and still no significant other...

[Bush's fault!]

This has to be a record here...no girlfriend whatsoever in 25 years. Not even one f*cking date...like out in public. If I were a jackass and bad-looking that'd be one thing but I'm not. I'm just the complete opposite of that in fact...or so I think.

[You might not be flat out ugly but I'm guessing you are definitely a jackass. How else to explain your miserable dating record?]

I have no luck. It's probably been like over 20 people I've asked out or shown interest in and have received nothing back from any of them. Nothing.

[Not only are you likely a jackass, it sounds like you are lazy as hell. You hit on a total of 20 chicks in 25 years. That averages out to less then one chick per year. LAZY!]

I'm getting very f*cking depressed because of all of this. I really can't take it anymore. Now I'm crying again...didn't know I had tears left after last night. Gah.

[Did you get shot down by Chick #21? And now to hear the rest of the DUmmies commiserate with DUmmie CrazyForKucinich over his pathetic social life.]

Maybe your looking in the wrong places or for the wrong type? I'm 26 and probably not a lot of help, If I notice a pattern always develops with women who are a certain type or hang out at a certain place. I stay clear of those types or places.

[Maybe DUmmie CrazyForKucinich should hang out at Century Village. On a personal note, I know a weird Indian (from India) named Lala who once asked me for advice on how to pick up chicks aged 70 and up. This was somewhat shocking since Lala is only in his 30s. Anyway, I told Lala to post notices in the laundry rooms of Century Village condos. I also told Lala that he will need to get circumcised in order to appeal to those elderly ladies. Lala wasn't crazy about that idea but I told him to think of it as body sculpting. Right now Lala is considering undergoing the cut. Helpful guy as I am, I even offered to call Lala's mother in India to explain why Lala needs to get "body sculpted."]

An example for me about 4-5 years ago, I use to go to church and thought I wanted to date a christian woman. I notice a pattern of at least a half dozen times, of these church chicks being terrible communicators, if they had a problem whether it had something to do with me or anything else they didn't want to talk about it cause they thought it made them look weak in the eyes of god. So they would just keep it bottled up, you could tell something was wrong, and tension developed. I didn't want a woman like that and I didn't want to be around places with people like that so I stay clear of churches and christian women.

[Try mosques and muslim women. That is a real challenge. You can only see beneath their burkhas if you marry them. To even try to touch them prior to that means you're dead.]

I'm sorry. No advice to offer, I'm afraid-- I LIKE living alone and not being involved with anyone, so I can sympathize with your pain but not really empathize.

[Is that you, Steve2470?]

I hope you find some peace. Life is too short for worrying about what might have been, and there are just too many cool and wonderful things to experience no matter whether you do it alone or with someone else.

[Yeah. You can always continue to post in frustration in DUmmieland.]

Like what? Not having someone to hold really sucks man. A dog or cat isn't really going to hold me back either.

[Even female dogs and cats reject you, DUmmie CrazyForKucinich.]

So you like living alone? Ok but I'm sure you're going out on a date every now and then...maybe even have a girlfriend who doesn't live with you. I want to share my life with someone...I want someone to share their life with me...it's just not going to happen. I know I'm missing out on so much too...every day that passes I could have a good day but in the end it wasn't because I still have no one to share it with.

[Hmmmm... I'm feeling a Reality TV show idea brewing here. Place a hidden camera on DUmmie CrazyForKucinich and watch the comedic results when he tries to pick up a chick.]

Have you ever tried something like eHarmony.com?

[The hi-tech version of a blind date. Avoid blind dates like the plague. I know. I once had a blind date with Nikita Khrushchev. Or at least a woman who looked exactly like Khrushchev in drag. What happened was a woman from Yugoslavia who looked like Sopia Loren asked if I want to go on a date with her sister who was visiting from the Old Country. Naturally I replied in the affirmative, thinking I would be getting a younger version of Sophia Loren. Imagine my shock when I was later presented with what looked like Nikita Khrushchev wearing an ugly peasant print dress almost down to the fat hairy ankles. I shall spare you the horrifying details of that disastrous date except to cut to the end when she asked me at her door about a custom called "kissing on the first date." Since she reeked of strong garlic, I began to explain to her that such a custom was strictly optional. Before I could finish my explanation, a pair of blubbery Eastern European lips locked on mine and injected a venomous dose of ghastly garlic into my system. Gagging, I quickly made my way to the nearest 7/11, bought a half gallon of of chocolate ice cream, and scooped it desperately into my mouth in the parking lot. It was the only thing I could think of to kill the deadly garlic injection from Miss Nikita Khrushchev.]

You could place a Personal Ad in the Lounge.

[The Century Village Lounge.]

I'm not a handsome man (the word "asshole" is tossed around a lot too). It takes a long exposure to me for the girls knees to go weak. I do better at work than the bar.

[The 4 A.M. bar hags are always available.]

On the other hand, maybe there are some female DUers in your area that might be interested in dating a fellow Democrat!

[And there is always Ben Burch if you get really desperate.]

Maybe it's just sheer bad luck.

[One would have better luck winning a $50 million lottery.]

Assuming you have no gross physical deformities and have no intention of ever, ever abusing a partner you might try offshoring your bridal search. There are many cultures where the concept of marraige is such that you would be a desirable partner for a woman.

[Even a hard up female in Bangladesh will turn down DUmmie CrazyForKucinich.]

relationships are over rated. self-love is where it's at...

[LOL! And do you sing "I Touched Me" in the shower?]

I feel that I will live alone for the rest of my life. It's not that I don't want a partner, but I can't seem to find one. Even when someone shows some interest, they end up leaving for some reason or another (usually another woman). A dating record like that hardens a person. I'm at the point now where I feel as though it's not even worth trying anymore, no one will ever stay. (You gotta be impressed by such a level of cynicism!) You know, I always thought I'd be a good catch. I'm not drop-dead gorgeous, but I'm not ugly either. I try to be nice to people, and I love a good laugh. It never dawned on me that other people wouldn't see me that way. I'm 42 years old and I've never been married. It sucks to feel unwanted.

[Could a love match between DUmmie MissMillie and DUmmie CrazyForKucinich be in the making? They have so much in common. It's the social outcast thing that could bind them.]

Usually I only get one date though. I almost never hear from the person again. Although this past year I had a second date with two different people, then I didn't hear from them, so that's progress of a sort I guess.

[Is that you, Steve2470?]

I'm middle-aged and unmarried, though it's not for lack of past relationships. At this point in my life, I find that I don't even LIKE most typical American middle-aged guys, since I've always been rather out of step with mainstream American society and I'm even more so now.

[A self-described social outcast.]

Check out DemocraticSingles.net. Seriously - I checked it out for a friend and it is overflowing with progressive women.

[But how many of then have unshaved armpits and legs?]

I've looked at DemocraticSingles.com, and many of the men make a HUGE mistake. In the part that says, "Tell about yourself," they launch into a political tirade, sometimes a multi-paragraph sermon, against Bush. The end. Nothing about their personalities or interests.

[LOL! Yeah, it does tend to be a big mistake dating someone with that much ANGER in them.]

im 25 and lacking a significant other aswell. which is why i got a puppy.

[Does the puppy have BDS?]

you might get shot down 49 times to get to the frog who's a princess

[Or the frog who is a toad.]

I even broke my moral code to do a one-night stand before killing myself. And I was age 25 at the time. I stopped in the middle of it; too terrified to get any STD. The irony is almost silly.

[So you're speaking to us from the dead? How is Elvis doing?]

Although my own record is 45 years without any sex. I had a couple of chances that I turned down (and to be frank, the 2nd time I really did not have the $10).

[And since you are now 46, you had a lot of action in your first year of life.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I have the PERFECT item for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! So feel good about purchasing an AMERICAN MADE toy which makes the perfect gift. The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED!

p.s. Check out what one of our happy customers had to SAY about the amazing helicopter kite.