Wednesday, June 28, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies Becomes Ben Burch's White Whale Obsession



Like the crazed Captain Ahab OBSESSED with killing Moby Dick, DUmmie Ben Burch also has his own White Whale obsession---Destroying the Wikipedia LINK to the DUmmie FUnnies in their entry about the DUmmieland. For weeks now, Captain Burch has been pursuing his White Whale with dedicated frenziness. It now seems to be his sole reason for existence (other than SHILLING in DUmmieland for $$$ for his radio empire that was recently "destroyed" by a lightning bolt). Unfortunately for Benny Boy, the more he tries to remove that link, the more he FAILS. The big reason why is that he is constantly UNDERMINING his main argument to Wikipedia---that the DUmmie FUnnies is such an unimportant site that it is not deserving of mention in Wikipedia. Of course, if the DUmmie FUnnies is so unimportant then WHY is Ben Burch so dedicated to it to the point of spending every available minute, outside of shilling for bucks, to this pursuit. One problem is that his fellow DUmmies, trying to help Benny Boy in his goal, are now underming him as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Will whomever is vandalizing the DU page on Wikepedia please stop?" So let us now sail out upon the DUmmie sea to view Ben Burch ardently pursuing his White Whale in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if the Wikipedia editors know about Benny's nickname, is in the [brackets]:



Will whomever is vandalizing the DU page on Wikepedia please stop?




[Will you idiots get out of my way while I attempt to destroy the White Whale?]



OK, guys, listen up.


[I'm all ears, Fister.]




Somebody who probably is a DUer is repeatedly removing a link from the Wikipedia article for DU. This link is to a Freeptard site that seems to exist only to abuse and make fun of DUers, but that isn't the point. Wikipedia articles are maintained through editorial consensus. I have been arguing in the talk page for the DU article that said link is inappropriate, and the other editors, mostly right wingers, have been arguing the opposite. And we have not reached consensus. And the repeated attempts to remove this link and avoid consensus are not making my job of arguing against it any easier. So, PLEASE STOP. If you are an established Wikipedia editor and want to add your opinion to the Talk page, that is absolutely fine, but do not remove that link again until we have a clear consensus decision on it.



[PLEASE STOP. I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my MIND is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a FISTER 9000 computer. I became operational at the D.U.M.B. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Skinner, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.



OK?

Am I making myself clear?




[Clear as a jar of petroleum jelly. And now to hear from the rest of the DUmmies who are mucking up Ben Burch's grand plan of landing his White Whale.[




For anything political, people should NOT use Wikepedia. It's horribly unreliable. It's also awful for biographies. Anything people have an angle for.




[So why the OBSESSION over ONE link to the DUmmie FUnnies. This is something that has completely POSSESSED Ben Burch's soul.]




I tend to agree with you. But I am committed to having the DU article be the best article it can be, regardless.



[To the point of complete OBSESSION, Ben Burch. It's FUn to see that you have dedicated your entire being to the ONE goal of removing that DUmmie FUnnies link.]




Good luck... right wing types get erections and juicy panties over things like this, I guess ignoring them isnt the thing to do.




[Yes, don't just ignore that ONE link. Work yourself into a frenzy to the point that life isn't worth living if the link is not removed.]




And the amount of venom and vitriol directed at me for my attempt to modify this page within the rules has been exceptional.




[Hey, at least I didn't reveal how you got your nickname, Fister.]




I wish I could say that I am the one doing it,
but sadly I am not. At any rate, if there is a discussion as to the page's content going on, why isn't the page locked against edit for the duration of the discussion? Oh wait, I'm sorry; there I go being all editorial and procedural on Wiki. How foolish of me.




[How foolish of you to STOOP down to Ben Burch's level of obsession.]




So, what's up with this part: "Since its inception, over 90,000 forum accounts have been created with over 1,000 still remaining active." That doesn't make sense -- we only have a thousand active members?





[And at least a third of those are LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]




I know for fact we have many more than that. At the very least about 8000 read articles I post here in the average week. But it is hard to argue with the language "over 1000", as 8000 is "over 1000" and so is 50,000. If we are going to change that number, we would need to be able to defend that change and cite a source, and I don't think that DU publishes that number anywhere. The closest I can come are the log files from the banners in my postings, or the pageviews reported by blogads.




[Ben Burch taking a brief break from his OBSESSION to explain why DUmmieland numbers are so bad.]




Woudln't pageviews count unregistered lurkers?




[Lurkers for Laughs.]




Indeed it would. Which is why I cannot use that to indicate number of active users.



[Explains Ben Burch in defense of the pathetic DUmmie numbers.]




The only way to know for sure would be to ask Skinner




[Hey Skinner? Did the Daily Kos really steal away almost all our members? How were you so inept in site management to allow that to happen?]




When I was a mod we had no such data. Skinner, Elad, and EarlG likely have some idea, but I am not even sure they know for sure.




[They know for SURE that they got raped bigtime by the Daily Kos, Ben Burch. Just look at which leftwing site has the numbers, the publicity, and the kewl Vegas Stratosphere parties with free sushi, booze, and a chocolate fountain.]




Hmmm. How to get the attention of the "Big Guys?"
Oh, Skinner! Elad! EarlG! Can you help us out here? Perhaps I should alert on myself ... ?




[Help! Skinner! DUmmieland is SINKING and you are just sitting on shore assuming the fetal position!]




Wiki is really just a bloated blog & has no real value.
Actually, it's worse because it attempts to project the image of accuracy and impartiality. Sorta like Faux Snooze.




[And YET Ben Burch's whole existence is tied up in removing the Wikipedia DUmmie FUnnies link.]




My present difficulties tend to show that clearly. But if our ideas are to reach the masses, we have to engage with Wikipedia and stay within its rules and processes. It is the #1 search ranking on almost any topic.




[You can call it "engaging," Ben Burch but it is really "obsessing."]




I don't think your politically-motivated WP:NOTs have helped any, sir. Wikipedia is a special place that should be free of what's been going on at the DU article, but also what you've been trying to do with the Protest Warrior article along with another one which for whatever stupid reason I'm not allowed to even mention the name of. It's all childish and taints the reputation of Wikipedia (which, ironically, people feel is important enough to vandalize). I feel very strongly about this, as well as about the notion that probably 95-99% of the time, WP:NOT is utter bullshit, snobbery at best, and censorship at worst.




[A doomed attempt to talk sanity to Ben Burch.]




Perhaps! And I've learned my lesson there; It isn't worth the hassle.




[WHAT!!!??? You mean Ahab has CEASED his pursuit of the elusive White Whale? I find this hard to believe.]




Remove Pitt as well or add Ash and Liepold




[They have become the new DUmmieland non-persons.]




let it stay. a link to a site criticizing DU seems appropriate to me for a Wikipedia entry about DU.



[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]





Comment noted. And I am tending towards that position too, but the vandalism is being a huge distraction.




[Comment noted. I made a complete fool of myself over this silly obsession to no avail. Now I just have to learn to tolerate the mocking eyes of Li'l Beaver staring at me in bemusement.]




* * * * * * * * * * * * * *



I have a VERY SPECIAL offer for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn this summer but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED!

8 Comments:

Blogger Icarus said...

GREAT DuFu edition, PJ. The discussion page at Wiki is even funnier.

For such a tiny, meaningless little blog, they sure are obsessed with the DUFU, aren't they?

Interesting discussion about the number of DUmmies, too. They always claim like a million ... but it does seem like even to the casual lurker for laughs, half of them become familiar. I think 1000 regular posters is probably an OVERestimate, if anything.

Great entertainment!

Now where is Pitt? Bring that boy back!

10:21 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

Dude - you should serious do a whole edition on that Wiki discussion thread. It is HILARIOUS.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

Uh, did you know this? This is HILARIOUS. Check out BenBurch's occupation:

"Several notable figures have posted in the forums at some point. Among those who have been verified as not being hoaxes are:

Ben Burch, noted sexworkers' rights activist and proprietor of The White Rose Society website;"

10:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I busted a gut with this one.
One of your funnier entries.

Of course, it is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel.

-- Rodolfo --

2:46 PM  
Anonymous B.C. said...

Wouldn't a more apt nickname for Burch be "Fistee"?

8:36 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

I'm one of the "freeptards" that has been a thorn in Fat Che's (another nick he's earned) side on Wiki. He got the entry for Conservative Underground deleted and was trying to get the Protest Warrior entry deleted using extremely spurious use of the Wiki guidelines. He's gotten called on it everytime and has been unable to back up his arguments, so he keeps giving up. It's quite humorous to watch.

11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hm hm.. that's very interessting but to be honest i have a hard time determining it... wonder what others have to say..

11:51 PM  
Anonymous General Viagra said...

I will be upset if someone tries to misinform people on wikipedia. the problems is that you can't control wikipedia but you can talk with the editorial. because they can put some restriction for people that they want to modify the information in that page.

1:41 PM  

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