Monday, June 26, 2006

DUmmies Claim Founding Fathers Would Today Be...DUmmies

In the not too distant past, the Leftists frequently derided the Founding Fathers as a bunch of rich white guys. There was even a movement among the Leftists to change the name of Washington, D.C. because the father of our country owned some slaves. I also remember seeing on the wall in the office of an alternative leftist newspaper (where I was selling a non-political humor story) a "People's" Constitution filled with Socialist programs which would replace the present "flawed" Constitution which was initiated by the Founding Fathers. However, somewhere along the way, the Left must have realized that attacking the Founding Fathers was a bad PR move so they switched gears and are now hilariously pretending that the Founding Fathers were really radical leftwingers just like they are. Such is the case with this DUmmie THREAD posed as a poll question "Poll question: If our Founding Fathers were alive today they would:" a) Become neocons, b) Advocate and organize an armed revolution against the neocons, or c) Other. The percentage answering a) was only 10% as opposed to 79% who thought they would be DUmmies like themselves by answering b). Yeah, like the Founding Fathers would even know what "neocons" even meant. It is like Captain Kirk making sense of the "Yangs" vs "Coms" in one of the Star Trek episodes. So let us now watch the DUmmies indulge in the illusion of the Founding Fathers as DUmmies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, laughing at the delusions of the Coms of DUmmieland, is in the [brackets]:

Poll question: If our Founding Fathers were alive today
they would...

[ laughing at the delusions of the DUmmies.]

They'd sign here to DECLARE 'NO CONFIDENCE' in illegal CA-50 results

[Yeah, first thing they would do after materializing in our space time continuum is demand that the Diebold machines be reprogrammed.]

John and Samuel Adams would have thrown Bush out on his ear, especially John, who would be deeply offended at Bush's brazen ignoring of the rule of law.

[And Samuel Adams wasn't crazy about Cheney either.]

They'd throw Scalia into Boston Harbor.

[While praising Souter for voting in favor of eminent domain takeover of private property.]

I've mentioned elsewhere that one could explain the function and operation of a civilian (non-automatic) AK-47 lookalike to George Washington in five minutes, referencing only technology he was familiar with, and he not only would have fully understood how it works, but he could have immediately gone out and used it competently, since it is operated essentially the same as the rifles of his time; the main thing new would be how to insert the magazine and chamber a round, and that's a LOT simpler than loading a muzzleloader. He would have probably also muttered, "Why didn't I think of that?" at the concepts of cased ammunition, breech loading, and gas operation. The gun itself would have been pretty much within the manufacturing capability of his time, I suspect, but powder and priming chemistry has improved a great deal since then, so he wouldn't have been able to manufacture ammunition. Once he got some trigger time on the non-auto, you could have explained a real AK or an M16 (automatic) in another 20 or 30 seconds, but it would take him a lot of practice to use it well.

[Needless to say, the Left has pretty much dropped its support for gun control because they now want weapons to overthrow the EVIL Bush Regime. Gun control can only come back when the Dictatorship of the Proletariat is running things.]

What do we want? Revolution! When do we want it? NOW!!!

[Tapped the brave DUmmie, Seabiscuit, on his basement keyboard.]

They were religious, conservative, capitalists who stressed faith-based education, low taxes and were pro-gun.

[What time will your tombstoning ceremony take place?]

The founding fathers were *not* Christians. For the most part they were Freemasons, unaffiliated Deists, and Atheists.

[Freemasonry is a religion? News to me. Better tell Harry Truman that he wasn't a Baptist because he was also a Freemason.]

Our 55 Founding Fathers were members of various Christian denominations and many were even evangelical Christians. Breakdown: 29 Anglicans, 16 to 18 were Calvinists, 2 were Methodists, 2 were Lutherans, 2 were Roman Catholic, 1 lapsed Quaker and sometimes Anglican, and 1 open deist, who was Benjamin Franklin.

[Correct except for that part about "deist" Franklin who was a pew holder and contributor to his local Presbyterian church.]

While most of the Founding Fathers may have been nominally affiliated with one Christian denomination or another, the fact is that most were not regular "religious" practitioners of any form of Christianity. They were inspired, as I said earlier, far more by the Enlightenment writers and philosophers than they were by the Bible.

[They were inspired by the idea that government should not intrude into religion as was the case in Europe which the DUmmies now believe made the Founding Fathers somehow non-religious.]

I think they would be furious at what this country has become.

[They would have all assumed DUmmie screen names while hitting the keyboards angrily from deep within Mommy's dark basement.]

George Washington would be busted by the DEA for growing hemp...


I've been on DU since 2001 and that is, by far, the stupidest, most ill-informed, undereducated post I have ever read on these boards.

[That's quite an achievement since there is a plethora of DUmmieland stupid, ill-informed, and undereducated posts to choose from.]

I imagine they'd begin very much like the rest of us at DU - educating themselves about what the neocons have been doing to the Constitution, etc., and that it wouldn't take them long to become at first alarmed and then enraged.

[And then jubilantly popping open the champagne bottles to celebrate Karl Rove's May 12 indictment.]

do you think they might want to now do away with the electoral college?

[They CREATED the eletoral college so I believe the answer would be a firm...NO!]

There is nothing to suggest the founding fathers wanted anything BUT a state ruled by the wealthy elite. Furthermore, by wealthy elite white christian males. Sure, you can say the racist thing and the sexist thing and the religious thing was just a sign of the times, but the wealthy elite thing still stands. They'd be a lot more likely to side with someone who serves the interest of the rich, like GW, than a pro-common man person.

[Ah! A Leftist of yore pops into the discussion, not realizing that the new Leftwing PR ploy is to now portray the Founding Fathers as far left loonies like themselves rather than to cast aspersions upon them as before. Get with the new PR program, DUmmie jjrjsa.]

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Anonymous Jason said...

“However, somewhere along the way, the Left must have realized that attacking the Founding Fathers was a bad PR move so they switched gears and are now hilariously pretending that the Founding Fathers were really radical leftwingers just like they are.”

Oh, it’s so true PJ. My liberal professors will often do complete somersaults with history in an attempt to convince their students that the FF’s were really anti-religion, anti-war, pinks.

1:48 PM  
Blogger James said...

OK, I'm a nerd. The ST:TOS episode was "The Omega Glory."

3:16 PM  

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