DUmmie FUnnies 09-29-05 ("Official 'Tom DeLay is Indicted' Celebration Thread")

If anyone out there has any doubts that the indictment of Tom DeLay by political hack, Ronnie Earle, is anything BUT political, they need only read this Official 'Tom DeLay is Indicted' Celebration Thread. Yes, the DUmmies are joyously, and prematurely, celebrating the "downfall" of Tom Delay. However, if they investigate even a bit into Ronnie Earle, he is best known for making a complete FOOL of himself when his "case" against Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison completely COLLAPSED the moment it went to court. With a "brilliant" track record like that, one feels yet ANOTHER DUmmie Coyote moment coming. Stand by, DUmmies. The Acme Co. package is about to EXPLODE in your faces once more as the Republican Road RUnner leaves you eating his dust as he goes whirling off "BEEP! BEEP!" in the distance. As usual, the DUmmie rantings which makes NO pretense that the DeLay indictment is about anything other than politics is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking forward the the DUmmie "BEEP! BEEP!" moment, is in the [brackets]:

Official 'Tom DeLay is Indicted' Celebration Thread

[WHOOOOOPPPPEEEE! BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!!! WE HAVE NO REAL IDEA EXACTLY WHAT THE INDICTMENT IS ABOUT BUT WHO CARES!!! THIS INDICTMENT BY RONNIE EARLE WILL BE AS SOLID AS THE ONE HE HAD AGAINST KAY BAILEY HUTCHISON!!! .....oooops!]

You'll need some music

[And some party hats. Let's all celebrate NOW before Ronnie Earle's case against DeLay collapses faster than the one against Hutchison!]

Margaritas anyone???

[You will want to lace it with cyanide when you find out how quickly the Puke of Earle's phony case collapses.]

I'm thrilled..been at work all day so hadn't heard yet. Go ahead make my day..my year..this decade. Move your piece DeLay. Straight to jail do not pass Go!

[Do not pass thru court. Otherwise no straight to jail.]

Smile. Can't seem to wipe this off my face!

[That smile will soon turn into a shit-eatin' grin when you find out how fast the Puke of Earle's "case" is tossed out of court.]

A Good Start! Tom DeLay's indictment is a good start towards removing a cancre from the American body politic, but it's that--only a start. I won't count DeLay as being removed from power until he's convicted and sentenced.

[Then don't count on much.]

Oh happy day (oh happy day)

Oh happy day (oh happy day)

When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)

When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)

Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)

Washed my sins away (oh happy day)

Oh happy day (oh happy day)

Oh happy day (oh happy day)

Oh happy day (oh happy day)

When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)

When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)

When my Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)

He washed my sins away

He taught me how (oh, He taught me how)

To wash (to wash, to wash)

Fight and pray (to fight and pray)

Fight and pray

And he taught me how to live rejoicing

yes, He did (and live rejoicing)

Oh yeah, every, every day (every, every day)

(oh yeah) Every day!

Oh happy day (oh happy day)

Oh happy day, yeah (oh happy day)

When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)

When my Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)

When Jesus washed (when Jesus washed)

My sins away (oh happy day)

I'm talking about that happy day (oh happy day)

[Don't worry. You'll be back to worshipping Satan again when the DeLay "case" collapses.]

Truly orgasmic!!
It feels so good!! (and we waited sooo long)

[Enjoy the Urinations of Happiness in your pants for now. It will soon turn to burning acid when you find out how quickly the Puke of Earle's case against DeLay collapses.]

Red wine, and I just smushed a cockroach in the hall.

[Yes, Red, not white, wine is recommended when dining on cockroach.]

Doin' the happy dance with my happy feet..now we need Rove,
Bush and Cheney followed by Rice,Rumsfeld and the rest of the neocon-asswipes.

[Thanx for confirming for everyone reading this that the indictment is nothing BUT political.]

I'm having a celebratory soymilk White Russian

[Followed by a Draino chaser when you find out what ultimately happens to this POLITICAL indictment.]

I'm going to church this Friday and Saturday as I promised God. Here's where, The Unitarian Church, Downtown Portland OR where this conference is being held. I didn't tell God which church I'd go to if his justice was swift. I'm sure (s)he's pleased.

[Pulling the ol' bait 'n' switch on God, eh?]

Now let's all pray for Ronnie Earle that he can present up a perfect case with nowhere for the bug man to hide.

[Ronnie Earle's case will be as "perfect" as the one he dreamt up against Kay Bailey Hutchison. Hee! Hee!]