DUmmie FUnnies 09-19-05 (DUmmies Frustrated That America Hasn't Collapsed Yet)

This DUmmie THREAD titled, "what the f*ck america? what the f*ck?" proves what Rush Limbaugh has oftened said about the Left. When things go RIGHT for America they only get angrier. Thus we can see the DUmmie frustration here over the fact that America has NOT collapsed. The author of this thread is none other than the notorious DUmmie mopaul who has earned a well deserved reputation as being among the NUTTIER of the DUmmies which is saying a lot. Of course, his fellow DUmmies are chiming in with sympathy over his frustration that America is not yet destroyed. As usual, the DUmmie frustrations over the lack of destruction of America is in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching the residents of his DUmmie Ant Farm yearning for the end of this country, is in the [brackets]:

what the f*ck america? what the f*ck?

[Stand by for a classic DUmmie mopaul implosion.]

before it sinks asunder. how can it continue as if nothing were wrong? why aren't people rioting yet? why do so many STILL support the ape? where are the fucking democrats? how is it all propped up and held together? what fog is blinding so many millions to the actual state of the union? what mind trick? what curse?

how long can it stand before it finally implodes like the twin towers? not much longer i'm afraid. how long before the distracted masses have that 'what the f*ck'? moment? what invisible string binds it all together still?

what hypnotic trance are we in that prevents us from surrounding the white house and ridding it of the cockroaches?

dead people are floating down the streets of america, and we all go to church on sunday like robots. what the f*ck america? what the f*ck?

[We share your grief, DUmmie mopaul, over the fact that America has NOT gone down the tubes. In fact, a Hallmark Sympathy card is in the mail to you right away. It is a special card expressing absolute despair that America continues to exist.]

dude it is constantly falling a part for them
there are just a lot of pieces to fall.


[An understanding DUmmie Melodybe trying to ease the pain of DUmmie mopaul.]

It's obvious, it's got to be, it can ONLY be, that a
Dark force constantly protects the Bush bastard. All of the crap he's pulled, all of the destruction that he's caused...and yet NOTHING touches him. So I can only think that a dark force keeps him safe, because Junior's from the dark side. Anything else just seems to defy all logic, like you said, if somebody would have done HALF of what Junior's done they'd have been tarred and feathered a long time ago.


[The Dark Force from deep within the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

good versus evil, on a grand scale
his power comes from our impotence



[Have you considered that maybe it is because God reads the DUmmie FUnnies and enjoys laughing at your hilarious antics?]

It's very frustrating, he needs to be struck down, he should be struck down he's blasphemed enough...he needs to be stopped, because like the true Sociopath-Psychopath that he is, he's a complete menace to all decent society.

[And what college campus do you teach at? I used to think that almost all DUmmies post away in the dark corners of their parents' basements but now I am starting to think that a substantial number are college professors ala Ward Churchill.]

This scenario of surrounding the WH and forcing the little bastard out is a fantasy we have all entertained for some time now, but of course you are right. All those million pitchfork wielding patriots would be immediately gunned down. Because this is true, it has occurred to me recently that what we can't do the world might well decide to do if the U.S. continues along this rogue path. The idea is not far fetched. It has happened before in recent history. The German people alone could not have forced Hitler from power once he was firmly entrenched. What pitchfork wielding Germans could not have done, however, the world did very effectively though admittedly at great cost. Just as the world got fed up with Hitler, it may well get fed up with fascist America.

[Perhaps you could direct a plea to Li'l Kim of the Peoples Paradise of North Korea to save us from the EVIL Bush regime.]

That is my ULTIMATE dream. I feel that the ONLY hope to get rid of these MONSTERS is with "outside" intervention shall we call it. It'll have to happen at some point, because the world, 90% of the WORLD hates these MONSTERS and they see them for WHAT they ARE, and that's a danger to ALL forms of life on the planet.

[It's life, Jim, but not as we know it.]

They killed Mel Carnahan, they killed Paul Wellstone,
JFK and JFK jr., they anthraxed Dascle and Leahey. Call me tin foil, I believe those things. There's something REALLY big afoot.


[They killed John Denver and I WILL call you tin foil.]

he's the antichrist....or at least he's holding a place for the antichrist until he gets here.


[Hmmm..... You might have a point. Have you ever noticed that you NEVER see Bush and the antichrist together in the same room?]

He's worshipped like Jesus Christ himself, he's held up as a great Christian. Yet EVERYTHING Junior does is the opposite of what Christianity is about...can ANYBODY name ONE Christian thing that this bastard has done? Also, the Bible says not to worship False Idols. And in the last book of the Bible it says that the Beast brings about "floods and disease amongst the people and the animals"...many things prior to what has happened in New Orleans fell into place between 2002-2004 and those things made me start thinking that PERHAPS there is something to this Anti-Christ stuff afterall...and I'm an agnostic as well. The Anti-Christ is known as "the Great Deceiver" he has a tongue that "blasphemes and speaks great lies" he turns "man against his brother" he brings about "famine and disease" and he starts a 27 year war, the worst most bloody war the world has EVER seen.

[The preceding sermonette was delivered to you care of Mr. Agnostic, the Bible Scholar.]

And the Bush bastard seems to have two different faces within one face. If you block off the left hand side of his face, and then look at just the right hand side of his face. Then if you block off the right hand side of his face, and then just look at the left hand side of his face...he has two DIFFERENT faces.
The right hand side of his face (which would be the left hand side if you were looking at a photograph of him) the right hand side, with his black holes for eyes and his red hooked nose, I'm telling you he LOOKS like what the Devil looks like from drawings. You can now often just FEEL the evil eminating from him by just looking at him on the television.

[Shame on you for overlooking the bold "666" emblazened upon his forehead.]

If we shaved the top of his head. He would have 666 up there, I am sure. But, good always wins over evil. Just keep praying. We are gaining ground, albeit slowly.

[Attention DUmmie FUnnies readers. I SWEAR that I did NOT see this DUmmie rant when I made the preceding comment. The fact is that no matter how wildly you parody the DUmmies, they meet and exceed your wildest expectations.]

At OfficeMax last night, a customer was whining about ink cartirdge prices. Well, sorry you bought a low-end HP, you fool. Their printers may seem deliciously low, but they make up for it in cartridge costs. HP is known for making cartridges that contain multiple colors in one. When one color runs out, the entire cartridge (containing 3 or more colors) has to be replaced - often for $30 or more! On a $100 toy, you bet it'll take no time to beat the printer's cost. TCO. I hope she wasn't an accountant! As is ROI, those shit-cheap printers' ink often fade or discolor after as early as a half-year...)



[Thank you for presenting this clear signal heralding the End of Times.]

as long as we have cars homes jobs and we're alive, we tune everything else out.

[And low end HP printers.]

yesterday I was pondering this question with a Unitarian minister. We were pondering the sense of evil that seems instilled in the actions to control New Orleans, and then moved to talk about the battle between good and evil that is taking place as Bushco fronts for forces that seek dominion and oppression.
I showed her information about the founding of Skull and Bones, and then we really were struck by the enormity of the struggle. She said that she was having to re-assess her beliefs on the nature of evil in human form. She hadn't believed in Satan. Now she's not sure.



[HALLELUJAH! You are a Miracle Worker! You actually made a Unitarian minister believe in the POSSIBLITY of Good and Evil! AMAZING!!!]