Thursday, August 04, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 08-04-05 ("A Sound of Distant Thunder (regarding the September DC protest)" ---Pitt


June 16, 2005. Mark that date. It was the Day When Everything Finally Changed according to Pied Piper Pitt. Do you feel the big change? Hasn’t your life changed completely? Notice how our political system has radically changed from that date on? Ooops! Never mind. Please send that June 16 date down the memory Pitt because the Pied Piper has come up with a NEW Day When Everything Finally Changed. It is September 24 as you can see in his DUmmie THREAD melodramatically titled, “A Sound of Distant Thunder (regarding the September DC protest).” I like that typical hyperbolic touch there with “A Sound of Distant Thunder.” So typically Pitt with not an ounce of Witt. Yes, the trademark bloated self-important Pitt style is always great for laughs which is why he is so often featured here in the DUmmie FUnnies. Of course, Pitt always relies on the fact that his readers have SHORT memories which will come in handy when he dreams up yet ANOTHER New Day When Everything Finally Changed. This is not to be confused with the ORIGINAL New Day When Everything Finally Changed. Don’t you all remember that date? It was the day in early 1980 when the USA beat the Soviet Union at Olympic Ice Hockey and the fans started screaming “USA! USA!” According to Pitt it was this outburst on the ORIGINAL New Day When Everything Finally Changed when the Third American Empire was born. So sit back and enjoy the entertaining comedy act presented by Pitt and his company of DUmmie entertainers in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if there will be a Day When Pitt Finally Changed His Overly Melodramatic Shtick (and underwear), is in the [brackets]:


A Sound of Distant Thunder (regarding the September DC protest)


[Followed by A Sound of Drizzling Rain. Sorry to rain on your parade, Pitt, but we always find your breathless self-important melodramatic style highly entertaining in a comedic way. Please continue with your hyperbole…]


“I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.”--Thomas Paine


[“Brevity is the soul of wit.”---William Shakespeare]


It seems a million years hence that I stood upon the steps of the Capitol Building in May of 2001 with thousands of other activists to protest the illegitimate delivery of the presidency to George W. Bush. This was the first significant demonstration against the Bush administration to take place in Washington DC, but it was not the last. I remember listening to the words of Ronnie Dugger, founder of the Alliance for Democracy, as he raged into the microphone. “We will label these four years of Bush illegitimacy as the Lawless Years,” declared Dugger, “the tyranny in American history, the Tyrannical Interlude.”


[The Tyrannical Interlude When Everything Finally Changed… We know you are only getting warmed up now, Pitt, so let go with all hyperbolic pistons in motion.]


It is difficult to quantify, now that more than 1,500 days of lawlessness have passed, how correct Dugger was when he spoke those words. History will place these days of darkness we have endured among the most corrupt, base, senseless, blood-soaked passages of time ever endured since the birth of this republic. Beyond the brazen smash-and-grab robbery of our tax dollars that has taken place in the Treasury Department, beyond the rising smiley-faced fascism we have watched rising in every corner of the nation, beyond the lies repeated daily without fear of accountability, there is the body count.


[Beyond all the Pitt blather, beyond the Day When Everything Finally Changed, beyond the NEW Day When Everything Finally Changed, beyond beyond the New Day When…]


Three thousand souls on a bright Tuesday morning, who would be alive but for the negligence and staggering ineptitude of those tasked to stand the watch, have been used deliberately and with intent as an excuse to deliver tens and tens and tens of thousands more innocents to the dust of an early grave in Iraq and Afghanistan. Two thousand soldiers, almost all of them young American boys and girls, have had the life blasted out of them because they were sent by their commander in chief to find weapons of mass destruction that did not exist. Those soldiers who remain, those soldiers who have been redeployed into the war zone two or three times already, wait with grim resolve to be brought home to their families whole and sane and safe.



[I guess this puts you in the LIHOP (Let It Happen On Purpose) camp, Pitt. Of course, NOT a word from Pitt about who ACTUALLY committed the attacks on 9-11. It is just NOT politically correct among the Left to blame the Al-Qaeda terrorists. Oops! I forgot their lingo. I mean the Al-Qaeda “insurgents.”]


The occupation of Iraq is almost a thousand days old now, and as the self-serving justifications for invasion wither in the desert sun, as the neo-conservative “Bush Doctrine” collapses in a swelling flood of blood and total failure, as more and more people see impeachment as a moral necessity, as those who stand in opposition wonder what they can do to thwart a corrupt and crazed administration that exists entirely without checks and balances, there remains one act of defiance and strength and solidarity which cannot be ignored.


[Don’t keep us in suspense any longer, Pitt. Please inform us mere peons from your Olympian heights as to what exactly what is this “one act of defiance and strength and solidarity which cannot be ignored.”]


We take it to the streets. All of us.


[Been there. Done that. And this is the BEST you can come up with, Pitt?]


On Saturday, September 24th, there will be a protest in Washington DC. This gathering must dwarf all previous demonstrations against this administration, must be larger than all previous protests combined, must fill every street and every avenue and every inch of space, until the city itself and the nation entire is forced to stop, and turn its face to our faces, and hear the truth. You must be there. You must bring your friends, your family, your neighbors. It is a moral imperative.


[My estimate is that this demonstration will be smaller than the Million Mom March Discounted Down to the Six Thousand Mom March.]


That weekend will see far more than a protest. On the 25th, Progressive Democrats of America will host a wide-ranging strategy session at the David A. Clarke School of Law on Connecticut Avenue. The purpose of this gathering will be to prepare progressive legislative and electoral strategies for the 2006 midterm elections. PDA activists from all across the country will be in attendance. Speakers at this event will include long-time activist Tom Hayden and voting rights advocate John Bonifaz.



[Please C-SPAN. Please cover this event. I always like watching good comedy on weekends. And the Left-Wing Wackos are reliable comedians. Plus letting the public see the TRUE face of the Left is always informative since the MSM can be relied on to edit OUT coverage of the wackos who are at the core of the Left.]


On Monday the 26th, Progressive Democrats of America, working in concert with United for Peace and Justice, will send a battalion of activists up and down the halls of the House of Representatives to lobby congresspeople to demand a withdrawal of troops from Iraq. We will, quite simply, not take no for an answer, and we will have the wind of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of protestors at our backs.


[Will the PDA battalion do battle with the DUmmie Action Corps DUAC DAUCs? Too bad I won’t be there that day because I would love to follow Pitt around with a copy of his OWN laughable Third American Empire essay. Right after he talks to a member of Congress, I would merely hand that member a copy of Pitt’s essay. It is the equivalent of circling your finger next to your head to indicate that someone is loony.]


Let the word go forth from this time and place that the progressive movement in America does not accept failure as an option, that the streets of Washington DC will be ours come the close of September, that we are the ones we have been waiting for, and that our time is now. Be there with us. Stand and be true.


[LOL!!! Nice touch there doing a bit of faux JFK with the “Let the word go forth from this time and place” shtick. Now let us be royally entertained by your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]


Great job Will


[Great job, Will. Let the word go forth from this time and place that your comedy is ALWAYS highly entertaining.]


Have to make arrangements for cats and dogs, but my kid and I will be there!


[Apparently your cats and dogs have more sense. They are staying away.]


Paper ballots NOW!

Hand counts NOW!

Impeachment NOW!!!


[Mental health NOW!]


Bringing my entire family. Here is what my children said when we first talked about going, (note: they watched the inauguration on c-span): 7 year old: "But Mom bu$h will throw us in jail" ; 8 year old : "No he will only have them spray us with pepper spray". (I told them they could bring their snow board googles).


[Snow board “googles” won’t help when the EVIL Bushitas line you up along the firing squad wall.]


I'll be there - and I took the whole following week off in case of arrest, or excessive partying, or whatever


[…hitting the crack pipe, or whatever…]


I'll be here. Since I live here and all. The marches have gotten smaller and smaller since the war started, and that sucks. Please y'all, help reverse this trend.


[Methinks that is a trend that will continue on Sept. 24.]


I hope this declaration sees wide circulation. Thank you.


[It will---thanks to the DUmmie FUnnies. Hee! Hee!]


F*ck it. I'm going. I'm taking Friday off and heading to DC. I have never been so pissed off in my life at a politician. That sonofabitch makes me miss REAGAN for shit'ssake!


[A little revisionism there since you hated Reagan with equal fervor. I bet you start cursing when you land at the airport and see the name “Ronald Reagan” on it.]


Booked my airline tickets today. Not only will this be a first time protest for me about anything, it'll also be my visit to Washington, DC. I am so looking forward to it.


[You won’t be when you notice that you will be landing at the RONALD REAGAN Washington National Airport.]


FYI everybody, Southwest has a special on fares through thursday on thier website, you'd have to fly into Baltimore instead of St Reagan airport, but maybe a few more people can make it that way.


[Anything to avoid having to land at the RONALD REAGAN Washington National airport.]


The American majority is PROGRESSIVE and PEACE-LOVING. And that majority has been DISENFRANCHISED.


[DISENFRANCHISED by the minor technical detail of losing elections.]


I'm Going To Be In Japan. Bummer...


[The Bad News Bears Go To Japan.]


I am going to be there, just found a room . All I need now is a cheap airline ticket, any help on this.


[Translation: I found a cardboard box. All I need now is for some sucker to front me $$$ for an airline ticket.]

3 Comments:

Blogger Icarus said...

You have got to be kidding me.

That putz is one of the worst writers I've ever read. Of course, the great irony, is that he thinks overblown, hyperbolic, flowery prose that sounds like it came from the back of an eighth grade girl's notebook is impressive.

"Let the word go forth," huh? Nice. What a drama queen.

Pssst. I'll bet you that secretly his truly self-important blather annoys the shit out of the DUmmies, too. I don't care what your politics are, that is just some horrendous writing.

1:58 PM  
Blogger SOTG said...

Uhm, a suggestion to DUmmie Funnies?...

Please warn your gentle readers that reading some of these damned things does NOT mix well with drinking Diet Coke.

Holy shnikes, I haven't had soda in my sinus passage since high school!

This pontificating windbag "Pitt" has a great future as a Kennedy...

Teddy that is.

SOTG

6:54 AM  
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