Monday, August 01, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 08-01-05 ("Al Gore TV starts at midnight Eastern time")

Al Gore TV (“Current”) has been airing since midnight today and the consensus on it is already in over at Dummieland---this channel is the biggest FLOP since the launch of The Huffington Post back in May. And you KNOW if the DUmmies think Gore TV sucks then it must really be horrible. After all, the DUmmies will give their erstwhile hero, Al Gore, a lot of leeway but even they can’t stomach his new TV channel as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Al Gore TV starts at midnight Eastern time.” The problem with Gore TV, other than the obvious ones as sheer boredom (“goredom”) is that it is already obsolete at birth. Since Al Gore invented the Internet I am surprised he hasn’t heard of Vodcasting which allows surfers to pick and choose their own video shows. So let us now view the DUmmie dissapointment with Gore TV in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, currently thinking of ideas for a DUmmie FUnnies Vodcast, is in the [brackets]:

Al Gore TV starts at midnight Eastern time.

[Watch paint dry at midnight Eastern time.]

Should be on now. I don't have cable. Can someone tune in and give us feeback?

[If they can wake up, they will.]

So far it's been on for four minutes, and the picture has frozen twice. It's also incoherent, what little I've seen.

[Al Gore TV sounds like it is taking its cue from Al Gore.]

They started out with Google, then something about a 911 call in Arizona, then a frozen picture parodying Six Feet Under that was titled "Family Plots," then the beginning of some video about a guy who has these women approve his girlfriends, then another frozen picture, and now we've got a test pattern.

[The test pattern was the most interesting segment.]

Oops, now it's back to Google. Starting over 6 minutes late.

[And 537 chads short.]

Not a promising start. You'd think they could at least get somebody who was technically competent, you know, like someone who had run the board at a TV station before.

[Al Gore TV is just $10 away from technical competency.]

Keep us informed with the play-by-play. Now how is it going?

[Al Gore just demanded a recount on his Nielsen ratings.]

I wonder if this channel will be added to the Cablevision line-up here in DC?

[It will be if it ever gets better ratings than a test pattern.]

Eric J's gonna be a cable boy, a cable boy, a cable boy. What have you done to my little cable boy?

[Turned him into your little cable boy toy.]

Just tuned in. I still can't explain to people in two sentences what this network is all about. The whole concept strikes me as directionless and confusing.

[Directionless and confusing. Also a good description of the Democrat Party Platform.]

Video about some guy who is jumping off a cliff in a parachute. I keep waiting for them to end up plugging some brand of beer. That's the style of video it is.

[Any more response like this and you will soon be watching a video of Al Gore jumping off a cliff WITHOUT a parachute.]

What's that nonsense in the intro to the Japan video about Japanese youth not being free to choose their university, their job, or whom to marry? Arranged marriages were on their way out thirty years ago. The video itself is about suicide in Japan, and the rate is indeed high, but that's not exactly news.

[Not nearly as high as the suicide rate among DUmmies right after the next election.]

If this format isn't popular, maybe they will do something more traditional with the channel.

[Broadcasting a test pattern 24/7 would be an improvement.]

I fear that when they "reach out" to the "young people" they present the message as patronizing and condescending.. Just report the truth, and present opinions that are currently not being aired.. the "young people" already have plenty of options to be "entertained". they need to have a place to innoculate them from Fox/MSM news..that's all.. We don't "need" another reality station with chopped up vignettes and silliness..

[“Patronizing and condescending.” Are you describing Gore TV or the Democrat Party?]

The line up looks really good! Deepak Chopra, egg donors, a woman minister, Iranian youth…

[…water evaporation…]

I was reading the site earlier and this looks like a training wheels concept for participatory democracy. I wish them every success.

[Apparently one of the wheels already came loose.]

In 2000. I e-mailed Gore and told him if he wanted to win he would need
to buy a TV station.You think he ever read my e-mail.

[I doubt he even spent a cent on Al Gore TV. This pretty much sounds like others spent the money and did all the work. Al Gore only lent his name to get it publicity.]

Kind of looks like it with the promotional video by the rock group. Now Deepak Chopra. Given that MTV does everything but play music these days, yeah, it's sort of like MTV. And Deepak Chopra is giving vague answers to vague questions.

[Are you sure you weren’t watching a Hillary press conference?]

I don;t seem to be able to stream it

[When you finish up with your 6-pack of beer I think you will be able to stream easily.]

The program list is online,; they're not doing a webstream

[I find that surprising since Al Gore invented the Internet.]

If you don't have digital cable, you can't get it, but frankly, you aren't missing much. It seems self-consciously "youth-oriented."

[It’s starting to sound like Gore TV is nothing more than MTV with the technician asleep at the board.]

Ack, site wants personal info just to find a local channel! Wants my name, address, DOB, phone and email just to give me a channel to watch it on. Pfffft I think not!

[Why not? Don’t you need more SPAM in your life?]

Misleading website for Curremt. Their site lists my provider but...when I go through the process I find out its not available on my cable. Good thing I gave them bogus info. I still say pffft on them for requiring personal info.

[Bogus info for Bogus “breakthru” TV.]

Currents little msg after they wanted my info stated it was not available. Not a very good start with me personally. First they want personal information to give me the channel my provider which they had on their list and then I find out its all a ruse. My provider does not even offer their channel. Heck no, I am not going to contact my provider and try to drum up business for Current. They need to re-examine their deceptive business tactics.

[Perhaps you also need to give them your credit card number. Their business office in Nigeria needs that info to provide you with Gore TV.

I hope they soon get internet streaming going

[Um…if you can get this stuff on the Internet, then why bother with Gore TV? That is why the Gore TV concept is obsolete at birth.]

what a waste of airtime

[One of the better reviews for Gore TV.]

Seems like a magazine/lifestyle show on...going after the "MTV generation".

[With the technician asleep at the board.]

Looks Like MTV News. Definitely not geared for a 50 year old. Short form...looks like indie producers. Some of the bits I saw. A report on a man who lost his mother one week and then became a father a couple weeks later in the same hospital...some sort of "circle of life" story. Another was of the sex lives of young people in Iran. Found out they have pre-marital sex in Iran and they claim there's no homosexuality. Reminds me of the weekly local independent filmmaker show on the local PBS station. No news headlines at the top of the hour (minus points). Lastly, the segment hosts looked like a casting call from Saved By The Bell. Sorry, just seems to pollyanish an approach. I'll keep monitoring for the next couple days, but I don't think this is the "media savior" people here were hoping for.



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