DUmmie FUnnies 04-26-05 ("Rove: Bolton will be confirmed; judges")

I was mighty tempted to DUFU Pied Piper Pitt in this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. After lying low following the extreme humiliation of making himself the laughingstock of the Web with his dopey essay about “The Third American Empire” in which he likened the USA to the Third Reich rising from the nationalistic screams of hockey fans during the 1980 Olympics, Pitt is now making a series of his typical self-important bloated postings in DUmmieland. Following on the heels of the new Pope being announced to the world in Rome, Pitt followed suit and announced to the world of DUmmieland that he is switching from Truthout.Com to the Progressive Democrats of America. Pitt made this announcement with such an air of gravity, I am almost surprised he didn’t precede it by sending white smoke up his chimney for the official annunciation. Today Pitt, realizing what a fool he made of himself with his Leftwing rant about “The Third American Empire,” made a post trying to distance himself from the far left radical elements of DUmmieland. Sorry, Pitt, but your previous postings already condemn you as a whack job and there is no way you can now suddenly pretend that your previous loony writings don’t exist. Yes, the tempation to DUFU Pitt today was there but ultimately I held off due to the fact that his bloated self-importance is ultimately boring as hell. Therefore I have decided to DUFU a thread devoted to DUmmieland’s favorite boogieman, Karl Rove, as you can see in this THREAD titled, “Rove: Bolton will be confirmed; judges.” As usual the paranoid DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, in a Perfect Rovian Storm, is in the [brackets]:

Rove: Bolton will be confirmed; judges deserve vote
By Judy Keen, USA TODAY

[If Master Rove said Bolton will be confirmed, then he WILL be confirmed.]

WASHINGTON — Karl Rove rejected a compromise with Senate Democrats Monday on long-stalled nominations for the federal judiciary and strongly defended President Bush's choice of John Bolton to be ambassador to the United Nations.

In an hour-long interview with USA TODAY and Gannett News Service reporters and editors, Rove, deputy White House chief of staff, dismissed suggestions from Democrats that they might drop threats to use filibusters to prevent votes on Bush's judicial nominees if the president would withdraw a few of the most controversial names.

[This story is to the DUmmies what waving a red cape is to a bull. Now let us watch the FUN reaction from the DUmmies…]

I'm itching for life and circumstance to bring Rove down a few notches.
Who does he think he is? King of the world?

[A mere King? No. Rove is Master and Commander of the World.]

yup he does-and he likes playing King-and hardball. We can not count any chicks yet.

[Never count your chicks before the Karl Rove plot is hatched.]

Who is gonna stop him?

[NONE can stop the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

ROVE rejected the deal????????? Is he (an unelected government appointee) pulling the strings of the United States Senate????????

[Yes. And Master Rove is pulling the strings of the DNC. Remember, you WILL nominate Hillary in ’08 because Karl Rove has so decreed it to be.]


Is it just me???? Every time I see Rove, I hear the banjo theme from Deliverance and pig noises....maybe I need to get my dose increased, or move to a blue state

[How about if you have an overdose of Lithium AND move to a blue state?]

"Karl Rove rejected a compromise ..." Who the f*ck is he to reject anything? ROVE WASN'T ELECTED BY ANYONE!!!

[Perhaps but he was chosen by God Almighty.]

I relish the day when that little hitler gets thrown on his fat ass

[Karl Rove will only allow you to THINK he got thrown on his fat ass but in the meantime, behind your back, he will be selecting your ’08 nominee. Hint: It will be someone named after an unknown New Zealand beekeeper.]

If it's really true that ROVE is the one that rejected this legislative compromise, that is surely a breach of law. He is a dirty-tricks slimeball with no legal authority over such things at all.

[This is your grand opportunity to impeach Karl Rove and make Kerry president!]

They are taking the lead from Rush. Just yesterday afternoon Rush said..No Compromises or it would set a dangerous precedent for the Republicans for the future. And lo and behold, hours later "Rove rejects.." a compromise. This has happened on more than one occassion. Rush says something, the Repubs follow suit the next day or the very same.

[Hmmm…. So although Rove pulls all the strings, Rush pulls Rove’s strings? Let me contemplate the metaphysical meaning of all this.]

I think it is vice-versa - Rush gets his talking points from Rove. Rove tells Rush what to say, then Rush tells his listeners what to think.

[Whew! Thanx for setting things straight. I almost had to overturn my notions of the grand order of things in the universe.]

They feel they have an ace? A new Trifecta?

[A Trifecta won’t help you much in a card game. However, let’s just say Rove is holding an Ace and King suited hole cards and the Flop just turned up Queen, Jack, Ten of the same suit in his hole. Therefore Karl is just going through the motions of acting suspenseful as to what shows up on the Turn and the River. Please don’t forget to go All In.]

Will wonders never cease. Even when all the polls are against him, Karl Rove is confidant that the axe will fall.

[As I stated in the previous post, when you hold the cards that Rove has you don’t have to worry about whatever is in the Turn and the River.]

I truly wonder about this regime. Are they so crafty, they have it fixed and this is why they are so cocky? Are they as stupid as they look?

[They only look as stupid as they want you to think they look.]

Says alot about the Roveness of Rove. They must be so happy.

[We are very HAPPY about the Roveness of Rove.]

Does Rove threaten to castrate these guys or what? In the case of too many Democrats I can think of, that threat has already come true.

[OUCH!]

There's no margin in trying to avoid fighting these fascists. Don't offer them compromises.

[Careful. Do not offend the might of the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

No Compromise! talk about Republican-lite, now we're even talking to the Republican leadership about vote trade-offs the way moderate Republicans do.

[All is going according to Emperor Rove’s plan!]

The appointment of Bolton will lead to war....and war will lead to the ultimate collapse of the alliance that has taken over our country. It is both a tragedy and a blessing that the people in power are too dumb to see the error of their ways. This is a dictatorship and we are watching the last gasps of the remnants of constitutional government which has been beaten virtually to death since November 2004.

[Weren’t you saying the SAME THING a few weeks ago about Gannon? Just save your whole statement EXCEPT for the name “Bolton” and then just insert a new name in for use again in a week or two.]

Rove...shouldn't his sorry ass have dropped dead of a heart attack by now?

[No. He would rather induce a heart attack in you after you realize that you lost yet ANOTHER battle.]

We have NO say in OUR country...How did this happen?

[When Karl Rove decided it would happen.]

Yet everyday Americans refuse to wake up. Apathy is Rampant. This is why the Repukes will continue domination. Most people think you are a Kook if you claim the '04 elections were rigged.

[The also think you are a kook when you claim to BELEEEEEVE that Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20.]

Little Karl wants to fight and for once, I think the Democrats are willing to slip on the brass knuckles.

[Slight correction. The Democrats are willing to slip on his brass knuckles. Karl Rove arranges ALL slip-ups by the Democrats.]