DUmmie FUnnies 03-21-05 ("Draft in 75 days? Could it be?")

Things are going so poorly for the DUmmiecrats that now they are desperately holding out the hope that Bush will commit political suicide by re-instating the draft. This forlorn hope is expressed in THREE DUmmie threads including this THREAD titled, “Draft in 75 days? Could it be?” plus a duplicate THREAD titled, “Daily Kos is reporting that the draft 'must' be ready in 75 days,” based on the same report (rumor) posted by a Daily Kos “diarist,” (a rumor monger with diarrhea). The third is a poll question asking, “Is the draft just what we need?” The DUmmies answer that question overwhelmingly in the AFFIRMATIVE. Of course they don’t mean that the draft is needed for National Security reasons. They support the draft because they want to use it as a point of protest to bring down the EVIL Bush Regime. But WAIT! Did I say there were three DUmmie threads about the draft? Actually, the DUmmie Desperation is now so great for an issue that they can use to beat Bush with that there are now FOUR current threads on this topic in Dummieland with the addition of this THREAD titled, “how would they theoretically reinstate draft?” This issue of the DUFUs will rip apart the DUmmie postings in the order of how I listed their draft threads here. The DUmmie Draft yearnings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if the DUmmies will conduct pre-draft protests, is in the [brackets]:

Draft in 75 days? Could it be?

A DKos diarist is predicting a looming reinstatement of the draft. I am not sure where he is getting his information.

[I read that Daily Kos diarrhist RUMOR and he must be getting that info from his own imagination since I checked the Web and saw NO confirmation of his mental imaginings.]

Holy shit! Boy, I sure would like to see a second or original source on this one. Thanks for the heads-up!

[Don’t wet your pants in joy too quickly. There is NO confirmation of the Daily Kos diarrhist. The sad fact is that the EVIL Bush Regime will NOT be committing political suicide as per your request.]

HOLY SHIT is RIGHT! I'd like to see confirmation.

[“We regret to inform you that confirmation will NOT be forthcoming.”---Karl Rove.]

you want revolution in this country, reinstate the draft.

[A one sentence nutshell as to the REAL reason behind the DUmmie yearnings for a draft.]

Gee, do you think some new people might join us in the streets? I'm beginning to wonder what, if anything, will get the sheep to wake up!

[Gee, do you think the tooth fairy might leave you a thousand bucks under your pillow? Yeah, the Bush administration is going to re-instate an incredibly popular and unnecessary draft in order to give the DUmmiecrats a hammer to beat them with.]

If they reinstitute the draft they are well aware that there will be trouble at home. You have to remember that this is the Revenge of the YAFF, that Rove et al are the dipshit rethuglicans from the late 60's and 70's who didn't fit in with the antiwar riot-drug-and-sex festival of the era. They didn't have fun at all back then. They are however all set to bring down a reign of terror on us if and when we take to the streets. They have organized their minions, they have their storm troopers all ready, they have their enabling act in place. They are Good to Go. Are we?

[So the draft will be re-instituted because this will give Karl Rove the chance to reek revenge for not getting in on the riots, drugs, and sex of the counter-culture era? Thank you for that inciseful piece of punditry, DUmmie Warren Stupidity.]

hope so, I really want to Visit Mexico. I hope there is a draft, i will celebrate a draft, while i am fleeing of course.

[There WON’T be a draft but don’t let that stop you from fleeing to Mexico. Oh, and STAY down there since the non-existent draft could be re-instated at any time…in your mind.]

I was thinking the same thing...I'm going to get a VW bug and paint it with bright, florescent flowers. I'll have to live in it too, because I can't have an address for them to track me down!

[A VW bug painted with bright, fluorescent colors? Yeah, that will give you complete anonymity…NOT!]

I have my girdle and Sunday Dress ready to go to draft board meetings. I make a damned ugly woman...but know all the right things to say to get you disqualified.

[Remember, Undie Stephenson. The policy is Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. However, it looks like you are going to Tell and keep on Telling.]

Reinstating the Draft now would spark major riots and perhaps even a revolt against the BFEE. Unless they have a genuine wish to commit suicide, or are even more stupid than we know, I just don't see it happening.

[BINGO! And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a very brief moment of mental clarity.]

Draft is instated just like they got Patriot Act and Irag Invasion through real fast. He already has war powers...he can do whatever he wants. And he will.

[Apparently Tinker Bell has been working overtime dispensing Pixie Dust on your brain cells.]

Thats where Dems should step in......NO college deferments,no married deferments,no phony medical deferments,no nothing.....If Bush wants to keep his War On the rich kids can go get their asses killed also....

[No deferments in the non-existent draft!]

Oh they'll target DEMS FIRST NO DOUBT. RETHUGS AKA FREEPERS WON'T GO aka "get drafted" or if they do it will be in very very very SMALL numbers. Fckin Bastards that * & Co are!!!

[Only DUmmies will be drafted in the non-existent draft.]

That will be the final split between the bush regime and the people of this coutnry. I think even some of the mr. and mrs. USA under God crowd will balk when their own children are dragged away. There'll have to be another attack to manipulate "the people" into some form of acceptance, but I don't believe it will work. This will be the straw for most. It will eventually force the remaining national guard to chose between obeying the chickenhawk war pigs and killing their own neighbors who have taken to the streets, or joining the revolt. I hope the rumor of the draft is wrong, but my gut says no.

[You might want to wipe away that anticipatory drool running down your chin.]

This may be what finallly drives the GOP from power. Even today, most Americans don't think they have a real, pressing need to pay attention to politics. If they are employed, have food on the table, that Suburban dream home, a couple of SUVs, and room still left in their Credit Limit to charge up what they don't have, they probably think everything is fine. But when the BFEE & NeoCons come knocking on their front door to drag their sons, daughters, and maybe even themselves off to bash and rape brown-skinned Iraqis for control of all that "Black Gold" that is the point when Americans have no other choice but to wake up and see how sick our country has become. If the Draft is truly on the way, then the Republicans have just sealed their party's fate. Their power trip has finally caused them to overreach and directly claim control of the life of the average American citizen. I don't see any other recourse than taking to the streets and fighting back against these arrogant, power-mad thugs. They can no longer be allowed to abuse their power in office, and must be brought to justice.

[Thank you for that insight and Karl Rove will be happy to comply with your desire by re-instituting the draft just so the GOP can be driven from power.]

What dos Charles Rangle say...he was asking for the draft back in 2001 right after 9-11. He knew then that a disproportional hardship would fall on the poor and economically powerless and was attempting to have all economic segments share the burden of going to war.

[I’ll tell you what Charles Rangle says. He says that he voted AGAINST his OWN draft bill.]

The White House knows that the Congresspeople and Senators ARE NOT going to lose their jobs over this. This is POLITICAL SUICIDE and all the republicans WILL JUMP SHIP!!!! Iraq is not going to be that important if the draft is started. The alarmist RIDICULOUS PEOPLE who post this should be arrested for stopping the heart beat of other people.

[BINGO. Unfortunately I regret to inform you that the Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity has already been won by another DUmmie and no more than one Kewpie Doll per day may be awarded as per the DUFU rules.]

I hope you are right. But many strange, previously unthinkable things have already happened here in the U.S. I hope this is the next one.

[Nice piece of instant self-contradiction there. First you hope that the DUmmie is right in that the draft WON’T be instituted and then you quickly contradict yourself in the following sentence by hoping that it is instituted.]

We must use whatever means necessary to sabotage conscription. We must organize civic resistance to the draft, and we must plan for a way to provide assistance to those that choose to evade the draft by leaving the country.

[Just a random thought here, IndianaGreen, but before you organize resistance to or evasion to the draft, don’t you need an actual draft first? Note: IndianaGreen is NOT a deep cover LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! However, it is strange that he and I have never been seen in the same room together. Hmmm….]

an underground railroad of draft dodgers it seems like the time to take my break from society is nigh. being a ripe for the picking 19 y old male they will have a gun in my hand asap. i hope to god you guys are right in thinking that they wouldnt insate the draft. but what i have seen come from this regime....i am afraid.

[My recommendation is that you hide in a cave for 10 years to avoid the draft. Imagine the shock when you re-emerge into society only to find out that you have been hiding from a draft that never went into effect.]

RESIST. That's right, a draft will galvanize the people. An interesting sideshow will be Bush's shit getting blown all over the place.

[RESIST the non-existent draft!]

I don't put it past them to create more scares and start creating more nationalist rhetoric. Heil Bush! They might even create a mandatory 1 or 2 yr military service requirement directly out of high school like they have in Israel and a few European countries.

[Heil Bush! We vill draft kids directly out of Kindergarten and brainwash them from early youth to become mind-numbed robots in the Nationalist Army.]

Being in DENIAL about the importance of this issue is complete "defeatism"....it's a sure prescription for defeat.

[Unfortunately for you, the possibility of re-instituting the draft has been sunk down to the bottom of De Nile.]

It's hardly surprising that both the Armed Forces Committee or the Pentagon would want to see an updated report or ongoing planning for implementing a draft, especially since we are at war and are failing to meet the volunteer armed forces objectives for enlistment. It doesn't mean that a draft will be reinstated nor that it will be done behind closed doors or even through an Executive Order.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! However, thanx for giving us the tidbit from which the Daily Kos diahhrist whipped up his draft rumor that has sent the DUMmies into such a frenzy of hope.]

How long until the right-wingers start bombing malls and hotels to scare people into supporting the draft. I wouldn't put it past them. Actually, sadly enough, I'm almost expecting it.

[Do you get drunk before writing this comedy material or do you just wait for the meds to kick in?]

Yes A Draft would be Political Suicide. But it would only be Political Suicide if we actually still had a representative government, which we no longer do. With the implementation of electronic voting, we do not have a process by which to participate in the process of government any longer.

[ALL you Diebolds belong to US!]

Some will flee, no longer to Canada, sadly. Some will go to prison. Most will show up at the induction point as scheduled, a few with their gay lover in tow. But this is the chute into the abattoir, it is greased with light, sweet crude. We are entering America's darkest hour. Because it is a only an single theater of an ongoing gang war over energy resources, the war will spread to the entire Muslim world, go nuke, and by the time we run out of oil enough to run a war machine, the world will have vast wastelands. A Billion or two will die in the conflagration and aftermath. That's about the size of it. Have a nice day.

[But…but you didn’t sign off with your “Have A Nice Day Smiley face.]

there will be no draft. Not this year, and not while GWB is in office. The Republicans are too smart to hand us such an issue. you guys are dreamers.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]


I think Rangel is calling their bluff. It's kinda funny what he is doing if you think about it...

[I agree. Rangel gave me tons of laughs when he voted AGAINST his own draft bill.]

I don't know. I think he looks like a fool, and a hypocrite.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I sure hope we don't have a draft , but when it starts every republican I've warned about the draft who laughed at me will think of me as their heart begins to pound , will they ask themselves "if she was correct about that what else is she correct about ?"

[That she was correct about the BFEE plot to take over the world and kill billions of people in order to make huge oil profits for themselves and their corporate Haliburton cronies.]

I'm 42 and female...but I almost wish I was eligible, just so I could burn that f*cking draft card.

[Or, more accurately, so you could burn that f*cking NON-EXISTENT draft card.]

Karl Rove polled members of congress back in September of 2002, asking whether they would reinstate the draft for Bush, and they said yes. Like it or not, this is likely to happen.

[Congratulations! Your application to become a Daily Kos diahhrist has been ACCEPTED!]

I hate to say it, but it may take the draft to wake this country up and throw the bums out, but, hopefully, it won't happen.

[Believe me, you are hoping DESPERATELY for a draft to happen.]

What I'm trying to say is that we are really reduced to desperation if the only way we can see to win is if the opposition does something really stupid like re-instate the draft. It ain't gonna happen, and if it did, should we be hoping for that just to regain political power? It sort of makes a mockery of our principles and our integrity, in my opinion. Don't you think so? Sort of like hoping for the economy to tank. Too many people would suffer.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Thinking positvely is NOT going to stop these people. HOPING they won't try to go all the way with it, will NOT stop these people. Whistling past the graveyard will NOT keep these people from doing whatever they have to do to keep and expand their power. I'm sorry, this is they way it is, and it isn't what most want to hear. And that doesn't change their course either. The TRUE options we have for stopping these people are not very palatable for most. And they certainly dare not be posted.

[Okay, then I’ll post those “options” for you: Violent revolution in the streets whose purpose is the overthrow of the EVIL Bush Regime followed by Revolutionary Justice (liquidations) for all Republicans and conservatives in order to prevent a counter-revolution by those LOUSY FREEPER reactionaries…. And now on to the second DUmmie thread about the non-existent which is also based the rantings of the Daily Kos diahhrist.]

Only 13 days away now.

[Since this was posted on March 19, that means the draft will be instituted on April 1. RUN! FLEE THE CONTRY! There WILL be a draft on April 1. But guess what? APRIL FOOLS!!! Unfortunately, however, you will NOT be allowed back into the USA. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!]

What's Kos' record of being right on breaking stories?

[About zero for a thousand so they are a very credible source.]

There is no bill, or movement to authorize a draft. There is no way to have a draft without a draft law.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

But pray tell WHEN did this group let somethng as silly and trivial as "law" stop them from doing anything? These people don't follow laws or rules. And if they need to subvert them, they will do it. You aren't talking about a representative government here. You are taking about an out of control Crime Family that is quite willing to use an entire poulace as a means to an end. What people need to get their heads around is if this group hasn't done it yet, they simply haven't found a way to get away with it yet. Have no illusions, they are working on it.

[I can’t have any illusions because you hogged them all.]

I have to lose 58 lbs to be drafted!

[Then perhaps you should consider refraining from swallowing pure unadulterated hogwash.]

Somehow this has become a pipe dream of the left...to finally beat the repubs. It's not going to happen...because the repubs know this.
For the last time....there will be NO draft.

[KILLJOY!!!--- And now on to the DUmmie poll thread about the draft that won’t be happening.]

Poll question: Is the draft just what we need?

My feeling is that a draft would galvanize the country against bushco's war mongering because then and only then would the public have something to lose. It would be like Vietnam. The tide would then turn against the Neo-Cons. Their children would have to serve too. what do you think? Would this stop UN-necessary wars?

[Silly me. When I first looked at this thread question, I was thinking the issue about the draft would be over national security questions. I guess I should have learned by now that the DUmmies WANT the draft in order to turn the tide against the EVIL Bush Regime.]

A draft, and the nightmares it will bring, is the only way to wake people. Until the Repukes that voted for * have to suffer dearly and see the err of their ways nothing in this country will change.

[Don’t worry. We Freepers are so DUmb that we will stupidly comply with your desire to institute the draft and hand you the only way for you to bring Bush down.]

Hell, I'm surprised Poppy served in World War II, to be honest. Especially given their role in starting the thing.

[Strange. As we all know, Poppy Bush attacked Pearl Harbor and yet he later volunteered to fight against Japan in the War. I am still trying to puzzle that one out.]

I'm more worried about waking up the throngs of non-rich average joe freeper bush voters who really believe that Bush is good for them yet haven't had to pay the piper yet. They most certainly will be suffering and feeling much pain- remember there are millions of them...

[SNIFF! Your concern for Freepers is most touching. …And from this touching concern for Freepers we go to the fourth and final DUmmie thread in the form of another dopey poll about the draft.]

Poll question: how would they theoretically reinstate draft?

[Didn’t you see the timeline? It will be instituted on April 1. Everybody will think it is just an April Fools joke but guess what? The REAL April Fools joke is when you find out the draft is for real. Of course, Freepers, and rich white conservative kids will be exempted from the April Fools draft.]

granted it would probably be under a different name...I read 'patriotic service' was suggested over on dkos...makes sense. so which of the following options does DU and associated freepers think would give the NeoCons enough momentum to declare a draft?

[Thank you from acknowledging that a large percentage of DUmmies are really LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS.]

So it won't be a draft as we know it. Just some very, very, heavy handed recruiting that only sweeps in those not experienced at gaming the system or just used to not bucking authority.

[“It’s a draft, Jim, but not as we know it. It’s a draft, Jim, but not as we know it.”]