Tuesday, March 01, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 03-01-05 ("I BELIEVE"---WHAT???)

Here is yet ANOTHER “I BELIEVE” THREAD in Dummieland to which I added the question “What?” In the previous “I BELIEVE” threads posted by DUmmie Doohickie it was clear what “I BELIEVE” referred to: That despite all logic, John Kerry would somehow be inaugurated as president on Jan. 20. Well, that date has come and long gone along with DUmmie Doohickie. However, a new, much vaguer “I BELIEVE” thread has been revived by DUmmie bleever. Although the goals of “I Believe” are somewhat mysterious, the humor is still there. As usual, the logic challenged postings of the DUmmie Believers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, hardly believing there is yet another “I BELIEVE” thread, is in the [brackets]:

I Believe.

[I know! I know! And it’s HILARIOUS!]

This thread has served different purposes for many people since it was first started by Doohickie, back when we were all looking around at each other and asking, "What are we going to do about this stolen election?", which began in the dark hours when the sun was farthest from each of the time zones, in eerie succession.

[Actually the real purpose of the “I BELIEVE” threads was to give the DUmmies the completely false hope that the alternate reality of a Kerry presidency would become a real reality. Great for laughs!]

Many have come to say that they really wanted to believe that the truth would come out, and that democracy would triumph.

[You want the truth. Okay, I’LL GIVE YOU THE TRUTH! On Jan. 20, 2005, George W. Bush was inaugurated as president. Sorry to disturb your tranquil alternate reality with a cold splash of the ugly truth.]

Many have also gathered to say that they knew, for a fact, that this crime could not withstand the tests of time, of the people of America, and the Constitutional government built, rebuilt, and invested in by the honest effort and toil of so many good people, over more than two hundred years.

[There have been dozens of presidential elections in the past but certainly NONE with this level of WHINING by the losers. Oh, and could you give us the DETAILS of this “crime?” With all this whining about a “stolen election” I have YET to see even the smallest bit of evidence offered to support that fantasy.]

And everyone crazy enough to step up and say in the darkest hours that they believed that the spirit of this nation, so miraculously encoded in the Constitution of the United States of America, would triumph over those who would game the system they had become part of, has with each week found it easier and easier to be a believer.

[Still waiting for you to tell us HOW the system was “gamed.”]

A believer in justice, turning slowly and surely. In the essential goodness of the people of this country, which is now shamefully doubted throughout the world.

[Whine! Whine! WHINE!]

A believer in justice, turning slowly and surely. In the essential goodness of the people of this country, which is now shamefully doubted throughout the world.

[You lost an election and now going to stretch out your agony with an eternal Drama Queen act.]

I believe, because I know America is better than this.

[Believe WHAT?!!! That one day Bush will wake up and turn over the White House keys to Kerry?]

I also believe. and I believe that i recall the feeling, the demeanor, the essence of the original "I Believe" thread, and although the purpose is now different, the overall feeling remains and justice and truth WILL prevail.

[Believe WHAT, DUmmie Faye. I sure hope your new temp job doesn’t involve communicating with the public because you can’t even tell us WHAT you believe.]

I believe. I believe that TRUTH is our most powerful weapon!

[WHAT truth? A weapon to achieve WHAT?]

I believe America will awaken from this nightmare.

[And WHAT will happen when America wakes up from this nightmare. That Hastert and Delay in the House will demand the impeachment of George Bush based on no evidence that he stole the election in Ohio? Yeah, that will happen…..but only in your own alternate reality.]

We are the reason why they will fail. "We The People ...." are going to stop them, NOW. Not by violence, but by law. Not by arrogance, but by dignity. Not by hatred, but by being smarter and TRUTHFUL.

[You left out the part about stopping us by COMEDY.]

I am with a group in georgia that is gearing to fight the legal battle here(we are completely DRE here) , so we think that if anything will be awry it will be here in good ole georgia.

[Yeah. Georgia is the KEY to overturning the election. No proof there but just keep looking. Something is BOUND to turn up. Oh, I once left some pecan shells in Georgia years ago so if you find them, please forward them to me for nostalgia’s sake.]

I believe, I still do believe. Some days are harder than others. When will it end???

[When you wake up, if ever, from your coma.]

I'm not sure. Things do seem to be unraveling, just not fast enough. I believe we can hold on until blivet** and his crew are gone. I believe we won't have to wait four years for that to happen. Actually, I don't think they'll even be around two years from now. I believe we can work together to undo much, although not all, of the harm that has been done. Every day, a few more ordinary Americans wake up and realize they don't like the way things are going and those people are slowly coming to the realization that maybe they don't have to suffer in silence. I believe they will be heard, and so will we!

[I believe in the Tooth Fairy. I believe that one day soon the Bush administration will voluntarily resign, allowing Kerry to become the president. On the second thought, I think belief in the Tooth Fairy is much more realistic.]

Thank you Bleever, for inspiring us all once again to take a minute and remember why we do this, why this is so damn important, and, most of all, to see how many other people are with us. WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER! AND WE ARE MAKING THINGS HAPPEN!!!

[WHAT are you going to make happen other than providing comedy relief to the readers of the DUmmie FUnnies.]

I believe - I believe in truth and I believe that it will set us free. I believe in dancing with the fellow that brung me and I believe in supporting the efforts of those who have put their lives, their reputations and their hearts on the line to try to make the difference. I believe in this nation and in the people of this nation!

[I believe. I believe that Petra Verkaik will invite me up to her hotel suite. I believe that she will beg me to stay the night. I believe she will take off her clothes and….uh, I believe I better not get into any more detail on this “I BELIEVE” fantasy.]

How could one not believe with all the wonderful, knowledgeable people here? Faye has taught us about election fraud.

[I believe you are really in big trouble if you are seeking instruction from DUmmie Faye who can’t even hold down a simple job.]

...I believe that these criminals who have subverted our Constitution and are in the process of dismantling it WILL ROT IN HELL.

...I believe that as long as I have breath in my body I will work to expose these bastards & demand justice.

[I believe that you have some Anger Management issues to deal with.]

I belieeve and know that the force will triumph over power.Truth and honesty are a force unmatched in the cosmic evolution. I have learned truth here at DU and despite realizing how deep the RNCsh*t is I know that a group of true American Patriots is hard at work to save our vote and democracy. We shall overcome .

[I belieeeeve that someday you might actually tell us WHAT you believe other than some vague fantasy that the Tooth Fairy will wave her magic wand and, POOF, make the EVIL Bush Regime just disappear.]

I believe. Each time when I log on to DU, I always notice the number of registered users. It keeps increasing (almost 65,000) and it gives me hope that the word of e-fraud and the b*sh evil empire is reaching into more and more hearts of those who didn't know the truth. And once you know what's really going on, you have no choice but to fight and get the truth out. Yes, I believe and I have hope.

[I believe you have no idea how those phony DUmmie stats work since a large chuck of that 65,000 members are already tombstoned plus a large number of the remainder are LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS. I believe that the TRUE number of real DUmmies is well under 10,000.]

I believe they will keep coming until the cowards in the media can't cover up the b*sh*t any more.The media's got to know, the only way out of the mess * has put them in, is to come out telling the truth ,and fast.There are allot more of us than them,and we are calling them out on there lies.The more we educate other people, the harder it is for them to keep lying.

[I believe that some con artist will scam buku bucks out of the DUmmies by promising that she can discover solid evidence of vote fraud. I believe that she will rake in well over 300,000 bucks before the DUmmies find out that they tossed their money down the toilet.. I believe….WAIT! I don’t need to believe that since it already happened.]

I believe there is hope as long as people believe they can make a differnce. The small changes we can make every day will add up.

[I believe it will add up to 10 cents and an empty cup of coffee.]

There was a time, before the last presidential selection that I woke each morning saying a prayer of thanks, feeling calm and peaceful, performed the salute to the sun yoga poses and tried to spend as much of my day as I could breathing deeply, moving gracefully and appreciating the beauty of the small moments of everyday life.

[If only you had performed the Santeria ritual of sacrificing a chicken, Kerry would have won.]

Russia was able to protest and have a new election. Why? Because they trust their family, friends, and co-workers more than the media and their government. They trust all of these people based on their words, no questions asked. In this country, there is a percentage of people who only believe the media, and totally disregard the thoughts of their relatives and friends.

[NEWSFLASH, DUmmie kster. It was Ukraine. I believe you need a geography lesson.]

I believe the power of the whole is derived from the power of the members, and as such we will not over-exert. I believe we will each take good care of ourselves as well as, when needed, each other. I believe we will strike the correct balance between kindness to strangers and the kindness which sustains those who we already know are with us, never shortchanging one for the other. I believe that we are all fallable, but that we need only work in plain view to ensure that our friends will help to prevent our lapses and to pick up after our shortfallings. I believe that many of the things we consider routine now, at one point looked to us like hopeless impossibilities. I believe that the challenge before us now is merely one more such thing. Most importantly, having been ignored, having been laughed at, and having been fought, I BELIEVE WE WILL WIN.

[I BELIEVE you are right about being laughed at.]

I stand in awe at what has been accomplished just in the past 4 months. We are just getting started. I BELIEVE.

[I BELIEVE that I am standing in awe at what you have accomplished just in the past 4 months---losing both the presidential election along with all your credibility.]

I believe because I must. There is no alternative.

[I believe reality is just too tough to face.]

I do believe I do believe I do believe. There are many more of us working for all the things you say than there are those on the dark side. With all the light we are generating, the darkness can not last. The forces of darkness are shrieking, screaming, eternally angry because they know they are a dying force.

[I do believe I do believe I do believe that Gandalf the Gray will arrive with the rising sun in the East to defeat the dark Republican forces from Mordor and bring light to DUmmie Middle Earth once again.]

I also believe we should be preparing for a constitutional crisis coming out of Ohio.

[I believe you have a better chance of Gandalf the Gray saving the day.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You'd BETTER NOT publish me in your stupid book. If you do, I will sue for copyright infringement.

This is the only warning you will ever receive.

And YES--this is a THREAT!

10:51 PM  

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