Thursday, December 16, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-16-04 AM Edition ("Why are we sparing John Kerry?")

For weeks following the November election the DUmmies have desperately placed their hopes on challenging the results on John Kerry. Although Kerry conceded on November 3, the DUmmies believe that through a series of subtle gestures, voice intonations, and vague statements that Kerry was fully supporting their efforts to overturn the Ohio election results thus giving the victory to him. Even as late as this past Monday morning, the DUmmies were jubilantly acting like it was the Second Coming because Kerry had his signature placed on some relatively inconsequential letter asking that the innards of a few Ohio voting machines should be checked out. Later that same day, when the Ohio electors cast their votes in the Electoral College for Bush, even a few DUmmies were starting to realize that Kerry really isn’t doing a thing except giving them false encouragement so as to obtain their support in the ’08 election, to overturn the election results. So now the big DUmmie backlash against Kerry has begun in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Why are we sparing John Kerry?” As usual, the posts of the DUmmies who were as easily conned by John Kerry as they were by Bev Harris are in outraged Bolshevik Red. The commentary of your humble correspondent, watching from the gallery of the Electoral College as the DUmmies cast aspersions upon Kerry, is in the [brackets]:



Why are we sparing John Kerry? He needs to step up to the plate. We supported John Kerry. We walked and called and argued for him. Where is he in a crisis? He promised to count every vote. Whoops. He wants to run in 2008? If our votes aren't counted, I don't get where the exertion lies. John Kerry will be able to just lay back because the suporrt won't be there. Email John Kerry and let him know, unless our votes are counted, he'll be able to count votes for himself on hands and toes:



["Hi John Kerry! I am e-mailing you to let you know that I voted for you before I voted against you. Anyway, I want you to drink the Kool Aide and support Bev Harris’ efforts in Ohio to overturn the election and come off like a sore loser. Don’t worry. Even though you will be initially branded as a sore loser you will definitely win the Ohio election because Bev told us she is only $10 away from proving massive vote fraud in that state. Could you send me just a wee bit of that $15 million in campaign funds you have stashed away to attend your inaugural ball this January? Since you are stiffing your campaign staff I know you can afford it."]


The lawyers for Green presidential candidate David Cobb and Libertarian presidential candidate Michael Badnarik, along with Kerry-Edwards 2004 have added election tampering to a civil suit filed against the state of Ohio over problems with the state's recount


[Oooooh! Oooooh! Oooooh! Then that means that Kerry really is working on our side ever so subtly. Look for Kerry’s secret hand signals when he adjusts his tie. It will be his message to the DUmmie troops to rise up in Ohio and overturn the election results there.]


I don't know what he's saving himself for. This is his moment, as well as the moment where he keeps his part of the deal. Can you imagine how much easier all this vote fraud work would have been to get into the press had the Senator been more assertive?




[But Kerry IS more assertive. Did you notice the forceful way he used his index finger to adjust his tie? It is his secret hand signal that he is keeping his part of the deal.]


I don't know him personally, as most of us don't, which is why I think we can't assume we know what he's up to. I'm trying to help keep hope alive until we know one way or the other.



[That’s right. You go ahead and keep hope alive right up to 11:59:59 AM on Jan. 20.]


It's hard to wait, though. We don't know whether he is working furiously behind the scenes, or just watching casually. But just judging by how hard he campaigned, it's more likely the former than the latter.


[Maybe he is furiously snow boarding behind the scenes.]


He fights smart. He was kind of in a damned if you do and damned if you don't situation with this election. He will move if and when he deems it wise, but he is not one to quit or buckle under pressure. This whole situation has been very tricky. Look what happened to Gore when he didn't concede...if he did or if he didn't, there are problems either way. Kerry has had to weigh the options and judge the most prudent course of action. I still believe he's got our back if he possibly can.


[I am experiencing massive urinations of happiness in my pants over your inspirational message of hope concerning John Kerry.]


John Kerry needs to keep his promises, just like I do to my babysitter. And he needs to be seen as a man of his word.


[So did John Kerry promise to boff your babysitter?]



Well...he sent his brother Cam out on CNN w/Woodruff yesterday....but Cam said...move along..focus on the future...Kerry will be working on issues....not sorry about anything...there are always mistakes made in campaigns but focus on the future... This was after a report on the Washinton State and Ohio re-votes. Not a word was mentioned to Cam or by Cam about the revote.



[Apparently you missed the subtle hidden message in Cam’s response. The part about “focus on the future” REALLY means, “Send money to Bev Harris.”]


I just sent him an email asking him to help us out as we did him.


[Kerry will help you out just like he helped out his campaign staff that he stiffed.]


Kerry, if you're reading this, YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME. We need your leadership NOW!


[Don’t worry. Kerry will provide the leadership you need on the morning of Jan. 20.]


This isn't Kerry's fight, it's obviously ours. But he did make some promises which I'm sure we all remember. And which he may need to be remind of just about now. We've worked to frame this fight. Ask John Kerry to fullfill his promise:


[John Kerry will support the revote…before he opposes the revote.]


Yeah, that will work! How much longer do we have to beg??? WTF, is this accomplishing? NOTHING. We have emailed Kerry since he conceded. He knows how we feel about this... John Kerry is not deaf, dumb or blind. Why Kerry and the DNC choose to remain silence? I don't know, only time will tell. We don't have time, unless of course you are willing to settle for just possibly impeaching * The time is NOW. The Ukraine's showed us how it's done. The real question here IS... Why are we so scared to truly stand up and fight for democracy? Because that's what it's going to take. It's the 11th hour and Bush reselection is moving right along.


[The Ukraine? Have you considered wearing orange undies? That should stop the “reselection” in its tracks.]


Kerry may be windsurfing somewhere. But we deserve an answer because as you rightfully say, the time is NOW.



[Wrong season. Kerry is off snow boarding somewhere.]



I didn't say John Kerry was windsurfing somewhere. I don't know what he's doing. I'm reserving judgment on the way he handled this until ALL the facts are known. Time will tell. Look, my goal is this, I want John Kerry to be inaugurated NOT Bush. And the only way that will happen is by demanding they pay attention to us, by MASSIVE PROTESTING. Sorry I'm not going along with the "flow" but the TRUTH needs to be said... Keep dreaming that another email will change outcome if you want. I am not stopping anyone. To each it's own. Just don't be surprised to see Bush still in office, despite all of your massive emailing.



[How about if we try massive windsurfing? That just might be the thing to do the trick!]



I've lost most of my respect for him. he lets these other people step up to his plate and have to do the dirty work of taking on these bastards. He sends a few shit ass attorneys who don't know their ass from an a frame. I think they did more harm than good. Kerry is letting Conyers and Cobb fight this battle for him and he thinks I would vote for him again? He's going to have to do something pretty damned spectacular for that. I don't think he has anything spectacular planned either. He is trying to passify us by acting like he's involved but not really getting involved. He's pandering. I'll take him over the Shrub but then again I would take Snoop and Manson over the shrub. Things could have been totally different if he had just stepped up immediately. We would have had an actual recount. Now it's almost 5 weeks later and most of the evidence is surely gone by now. He blew it.



[I guess this means you won’t be going windsurfing with Kerry any time soon.]



Kerry is strategically placing himself to run again in 2008. To me, he has betrayed his supporters. He should either come out strongly or announce he is not going to do anything. Having his lawyers file a lawsuit that can be disavowed later is very close to not doing anything.



[The Kerry Campaign thanks you for your input. And don’t forget to donate to the Kerry ’08 Committee. Thank you.]



Know What? If I were John Kerry I wouldn't want to lead a bunch of f*cking crybabies. Course, that isn't his reason. His reason is strategy and I'll be damned if we at DU have to explain this concept every f*cking day to somebody.



[Ah yes! Kerry’s secret strategy. And so smart the way he has kept it so carefully hidden from all to see, including himself.]


i chose to hold judgement until Dec. 13th. It is now time for judgement. Kerry is NOT the person he appears to be. he may have turned that boat around 30 years ago, but he is obviously no longer that man. I personally think that he threw this election and I'm coming to the conclusion that it is not a bad thing. That assface of a so called president has raped us raw. I don't blame Kerry for not wanting to enter a hornet's nest. But damn it to hell, he could use his position to help us bring the case of voting irregularities and outright fraud into the national stage. Why should we have to do it alone? What exactly do our elected officials stand for if we are the ones feeding them money AND have to do all the work too? And why the hell are so many democrats afraid of the MSM? who gives a shit what the hell they say. since when do we advocate walking on eggshells to appease the f*cking RW machine (i believe the palatable term for it is actually 'moderates').



[Ah yes! December 13. I remember it well. DUmmies jumping for joy that morning because of an insignificant letter bearing Kerry’s signature. That jubilation lasted until just a minute after the Electoral College cast the majority of its vote for Bush later that same day.



i am up for a fight. not a charade. i am flabbergasted. i truly thought there was some master plan but as time goes on, i'm finding them to be willfully complacent. it doesn't sit well with me either. i have things in my life that i need to address now that the election is over. i feel downright betrayed. i don't need anyone to "hold" my damn hand. but i do expect my politicians to hold to their words and show some freaking integrity. they promised a good fight and never delivered. they promised they would hold my interests above theirs and they didn't. i'm disgusted at our one party system.



[You actually thought that Kerry had some sort of post-election “master plan?” And how much money did YOU send to Bev Harris?]



we were scammed. Karl Rove's most brilliant moment. Deep down, we all knew it.



[A Perfect Rovian Storm! Thanx, DUmmie, for giving me the opportunity to post my favorite phrase.]


1 Comments:

Blogger Icarus said...

DUmmies are SO funny!

The best part is the bit they don't see: DUmmies are doing more than anyone else to assure another Republican victory in 2006 and 2008.

Go DUmmies GO!

4:44 PM  

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