Monday, December 20, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-20-04 PM Edition ("What are the odds of NOTHING going our way?")


The DUmmie Coyote is starting to wonder why the Acme Co. package keeps blowing up in his face as the Bush Road Runner goes rushing safely into the distance. BEEP! BEEP! In this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What are the odds of NOTHING going our way?” the frustrations of the perpetual losers are expressed out loud. As usual the frustrated DUmmie comments are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets] :




What are the odds of NOTHING going our way?


[Somewhere between good and excellent.]


Let's just take it from Nov. 2nd


Exit Polls went to Kerry - Bush "wins"


Iraq war still rages on - Bush "wins"


Valerie Plame case not settled - Bush "wins"
and Novak "wins"


O Liely and Rush still out of their jail cells - Bush "wins"


Ballots and Suppression like crazy - Media and Bush "win"


Kerry puts his little toe in the Let's Count All The Votes water and Pulls The Toe out real quick - Bush "Wins"


Time magazine had the nerve to declare Bush its Person 0f the Year - Bush "wins"


What are the odds and what did I forget to include?





[Dan Rather’s TANG letter turns out to be a forgery – Bush “wins”


DUmmie FUnnies becomes the most popular Blog on the Web – Bush “wins”]



There MUST be a silver lining coming up for us real soon!
Let's keep pushing for justice!



[Silver lining? Yes, the DUmmie commentary is so bizarre that the DUmmie FUnnies book hits the best seller list all thanks to you DUmmies.]



The hope for a silver lining is what keeps me going But the wait has been agony. BushCo is Teflon.



[I predict you will continue to suffer agonizing pain for at least another 4 years.]


"There must be a silver lining"--we sure are due. We're OVERdue.


[The silver lining is that the Suicide Hotline will be up and running on Jan. 20. 1-800-BUSH-WON.]


Bush had the bold face nerve to make sure the protesters could not use the streets on January 20th in DC.


[Don’t worry. You don’t need to use the streets on Jan. 20. Porta-Potties will be available.]



I'm an eternal optimist But I'm beginning to lose hope. We are so totally out of power, its truly amazing. Our only national power is the filibuster and even that is under threat. Our state to state position is a little better, and there's where our best hope seems to lie. Winning some Sec of State slots should be our very highest priority.



[Cheer up. There are now numerous Dog Catcher slots open.]



I think the odds of NOTHING going our way are very high. I have been outraged since the 2000 "election" and finally calmed myself down with "it's only 4 years ~ how bad can it really get and how much damage can they actually do??" *sigh* Well,,,, I guess they showed me !!! This group consists of Master Predators and this country is/was not ready to deal with them or even see them for what they are,,,, I will never get over this.



[And if you even show the slightest sign of getting over it, a Master Predator will hunt you down, earthling.]



Tomorrrow is only a day away. When I look at the commercials on TV I've noticed that 95% of the ads are about pharma products. It can make you depressed before turning on the light. They are so slick, making you think that everything will be rosy is you just take Previcid. Yes, I am thrilled to see them taking the heat but watch, Bush will protect them with write offs. It is a sliver of hope that they will catch these crooks that prey on our health.



[Are you absolutely OUTRAGED by the election results but feel helpless to do anything about it? Then take Previcid. Within minutes, Previcid will calm you down to the point where you can appear semi-normal in public. (WARNING: Usage of Previcid may result in an outbreak of pimples, diarrhea attacks, uncontrollable drooling, political delusions, gender switching, vomiting, farting, massive urinations of false happiness, and a strong urge to make Drama Queen posts in DUmmieland. Please consult your mental health advisor before usage.)]

3 Comments:

Blogger carmine said...

Love the new mascot! keep up the good work.

9:22 PM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

Thanx. Our new mascot's name is Li'l Beaver.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Icarus said...

EEeeeek! Are DUmmies finally starting to see the truth? Are they finally grasping the painfully, startlingly obvious fact that President Bush is with us until 2008?

God, I hope not! Their delusions are just so much fun. Prediction: on January 21st the inevitable impeachment blather will begin, giving you countless new threads of juicy DUmmieness to ridicule.

11:04 AM  

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