Tuesday, December 14, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-14-04 AM Edition (Tinfoil Hat DUmmie "Run" Off The Road)

Does anybody here remember the infamous Michael Rivero? He used to post at the Free Republic and came up with so many conspiracy theories that he became a running joke due to his multitude tinfoil hat theories. Eventually he was kicked off the Free Republic and if you are wondering what happened to Mr. Tinfoil Hat, I now have the answer for you: Rivero has teamed up with the DUmmies and is now running a website with tons of Ohio Vote fraud conspiracty theories over at WHATREALLYHAPPENED.COM. Among the bizarre conspiracy theories over at that website is an affidavit by one Katrina Sumner that you can find HERE where she makes a whole federal case over the fact that while working at the Greene County, OH Board Of Elections desperately looking for evidence of voter fraud, one of the lights was left on overnight along with an unlocked door. And for this she writes up a whole affidavit. BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! Shortly afterwards, Ms Sumner claims that she was run off the road by two dark blue Suburbans with dark tinted windows. Since this was posted on Michael Rivero’s website, I am a bit disappointed that she didn’t claim that she was run off the road by two black helicopters. You can find the reaction to this “crime of the century” on this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Katrina Sumner, Greene County - followed, run off road.” As usual, the tinfoil hat DUmmie theories are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching from above in a black helicopter, is in the [brackets]. And now, as the curtain opens on this edition of the DUFUs, we lead off with Katrina Sumner’s breathless account of being run off the road by big bad rightwingers:

Last night I was returning from Columbus and was scared out of my mind. First I've been getting calls from a man that has been able to tell me each and every place I've been or roads I've been traveling on (a group of 3 other women heard this while driving me to meet Jesse Jackson and Cliff Arnebeck last night, having the call on speaker). Then while driving back I was ran off the road by two dark blue Suburbans(?), bigger than 4 runners anyway, with dark tinted windows. They came up behind me with their brights on and then one came to the side of me and ran me into the ditch off I-70. I saw as they sped away that one had a Maryland license plate, but in the heat of it all I couldn't get the plate number or even see the plate of the other one. It's becoming apparent to me that someone is not liking what I'm doing. So thank you much cause I truly need the encouraging words.

[And have you also checked your breath for dioxin? Yeah, your work looking for fraud at the Greene County Board of Elections is so threatening to the regime of George W. Bush that they had to run you off the road. Your affidavit WINS the Drama Queen award.]

Send this to AP!!!

[I can see the headline already: “Tinfoil Hat DUmmie Run off the Roadway of her Mind!”]

. OMG that's terrible-- these guys are truly dangerous. This isn't worth losing one's life over. These guys are POISON

[And tinfoil hat Katrina needs to also allege that she was poisoned by dioxin. See, the DUmmies like to compare what is happening here to the Ukraine and since Yuschenko was both run off the road AND poisoned by dioxin, Katrina should also claim to be a victim of both.]

what did you think?... this is serious stuff ppl... takes courage!..thats why no one in streets yet, they are scared but will stand if others do! I am standing, Ive been to rallies.. where are all you!

[Where are we? Sitting Drama Queen acting class.]

Actually, if you think about it, this is the very cause that many, many people gave their lives to protect. I'm not saying I want to die on the road because of a redneck in a giant SUV, but the cause is definitely worth it. My kids WILL grow up in a democracy.

[Your kids WILL grow up to be Drama Queens.]

If this is true, and I don't doubt it, somebody needs to be providing protection for these people.

[Just because Katrina Sumner also filed a tinfoil hat affidavit posted on Michael Rivero’s tinfoil hat website, why should we doubt the veracity of her claim about being run off the road?]

Welcome to the real world of politics. It's been since the sixties since we've seen these blatant tactics. But it may escalate. Hold onto your hats!

[Hold onto your tinfoil hats!]

someone needs to get this woman protection! There are no words for the evil that these bastards are capable of.
Thank goodness Katrina is okay!!!

[The evil that men do lives after them;

The good is oft interred with their bones.]

I'm glad this little lady is okay! But, OMG! This is a CLEAR sign that we are digging in the right place! Bastards!

[Yes! That light left on at the Green County Board of Elections office is the KEY to bringing down the fascist Bush regime!]

The Kerry phone bank worker knows Mike Rivero. Someone here has her cell phone from last weekend's events. I don't remember who. They can call her and confirm.

[Yes. They can call her and confirm that Michael Rivero in the leading Mad Tinfoil Hatter on the Web.]

dude...you really need to stop and think before you spout off "Hurry, send to MSM!!! Send to AP!!!" at every little piece of news that is unsubstantiated/unsupported.

[You want a fact check? LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Tell them - the worst that could happen is they will print a story about paranoid people telling them about cloak and dagger stuff.

[Actually the worst that could happen is that Katrina Sumner would end up as a laughingstock on the DUmmie FUnnies.]

A Hoax? Wouldn't it be a Rove move to fabricate stories like this & then scream SEND IT TO THE AP! It would make the movement look like a bunch of tin hat wearing crazies, imagining big outrageous things.

[A Perfect Rovian Storm. Not sure exactly what that means but it sure does sound kewl.]

Karen Silkwood was murdered by being run off the road...Considered who and what we're dealing with, it is not inconceivable that someone is trying to harm her.

[Meryl Streep starring as Katrina Sumner! And notice how Karen Silkwood and Katrina Sumner have the same initials! Plus Streep does some great Drama Queen acting! I loved how Streep herself almost destroyed the apple industry by doing a Drama Queen bit about the supposed dangers of alar on apples.]

Someone needs to tell Katrina to start packing and carry a video camera to take footage of these people's cars!

[And keep that video camera running at all times while driving. You just never know when fascist rightwingers will try to run you off the road.]

Rent the movie Silkwood. *If* I remeber correctly, she was a wistleblower concerning improper handling of nuclear material. That's a big grain of salt with on the wistleblower part, it's been a while.

[And Silkwood was run off the road too! My apologies to Katrina Sumner. I thought she was imitating the Ukrainian candidate but now I see she was really imitating Karen Silkwood.]

first thing that came to my mind - Silkwood.

[And the first thing that comes to my mind – Bev Harris. She can recreate that running off the road scene for that documentary that she keeps claiming she isn’t making.]

this is what Rove does when he's cornered...His cons are more subtle...

[A Perfect Rovian…DAMN! I already used that line. Too bad. I really like it.]

Yes, it would be like Rove...!! Until we *know*, we must *lay low*!!

[Yes, lay low for 4 years in a spider hole until the Perfect Rovian Storm passes. Please FORGIVE ME!!! I just HAD to use that line one more time!]

It tells me we are getting to the SOB's Girlie men need to run a lone woman off the road, that's real manly. What a bunch of wimps.

[Are you sure Ann Coulter wasn’t one of the drivers?]

But we can't expect this poor woman to put her life in danger

[I say put Ms Sumner into the Witness Protection Program and hide her out in a 5 star hotel suite with Bev Harris.]

Really though.. Call and confirm what? If this is her e-mail, then I'm sure she'll confirm her story.. But with no other witnesses, no tag #'s, no anything what is this going to do?

[Nothing except provide for some great tinfoil hat comedy material.]

Look at follow-up e-mail All I's. Run into a ditch w/ 3 other women. "I was ran off"..."I couldn't get the license plate #"..... anyone hurt? Becareful. There are Rovian sabateurs trying to work there magic.

[A Perfect Rovian…Oops! There I go again!]


I jusr re-read that she was alone coming back. But....where'd the other 3 women go? Hitchhiking?

[Yes and they caught a ride with Karl Rove.]

Police Report? If she was run off Interstate 70 at 65 MPH there would be car damage and a police accident report. Post it and we're off to the races. Without it...its a Rovian ploy.

[That’s not true! It is NOT a Rovian ploy. Instead it is a Perfect Rovian Storm! HA! I worked that phrase in yet again!]

She can't go to the police! They are obviously in on it. They are probably reading this forum.

[Either that or the police are entertaining themselves by reading about it on the DUmmie FUnnies. Hmmm…. Need to check to see if there is an “OhioCop” on my PING List.]

Well Katrinie, better start packing you some heat like the dawgie dog a hogleg I believe those rednicks refer to it as. Boomboom stick! Watch out bitches, cause I ain't putt'n up wit no shit! I hate that dawgie dog dude! and his stupid wife!

[A sea change over in DUmmieland. Now they are big gun rights supporters!]

My family and I think....these two vehicles were issued from Cheneys 'Shadow Government' motorpool. Hey, I guess Cheney's undisclosed location is now confirmed to be in Maryland.

[Attack of the Killer SUVs!]

I have tried to call her and I have tried to text her phone but no answer yet. I'm sure that we will hear something soon.

[Katrina is currently busy watching cable reruns of Capricorn One.]

I've done welfare checks in other states, countries on my support list for families dealing with stuff. I'm going to stay up until we hear something. Hopefully, she's dozing. And although it's hard to take in, these folks will do anything not to ruin their fraudulent Stepford world. I just hope (smile) that we aren't all calling her and disrupting her rest. But, knowing the volunteers have appropriate security is a priority.

[And for coming up with that great phrase, “Fraudulent Stepford World,” I shall reward you by promising that your welfare check next month will arrive on time.]

Getting run off the road is true?

[As true as Professor Kerri Dunn of Claremont College being a victim of a hate crime in the form of her car being spray painted with graffiti.]

If the vehicles touched, then she has paint evidence.

[Evidence? EVIDENCE? We don’t need no stinkin’ evidence!]

she needs to report this to the police to have any credibility.

[Credibility? CREDIBILITY? We don’t need no stinkin’ credibility!]

If she contacts the police, she's just as likely to be arrested…

[…for filing a false report.]

Olbermann should know about it. His blog today made the goings-on in Ohio sound like the Keystone Kops-- in fact, he might have used that term. For those of you too young to know what it means, it's just the image of a bunch of bungling cops falling all over each other-- it's a funny image. But there's nothing funny about an attempt made on one's life. He should know-- even if he doesn't publish it-- so he will see that this is SERIOUS stuff.

[Ah! Keith Oblbermann. The tinfoil hat flack.]

Possible that they are tracking her with GPS? She said they can tell her everywhere she has been or every road she has been on. My guess is that either they somehow put a GPS device on her car or she has a cell phone with GPS and it is on. My friend's work gave him a Nextel cell phone and told him the GPS was not enabled, but contrary to what his boss said, he was able to ping his cell phone and tell where it was (gave him his house address). With GPS, even a hobbyist would be able to tell her where she has been and what roads she has travelled.

[No need to worry. All tinfoil hats can be traced via GPS. Why at this very moment I can tell the exact location in Yo-Yo Land where Michael Rivero is frothing.]

Her car is pretty easy to spot. It has a unique feature if you know what you are looking for.


Katrina, you are a real American hero, and I and many other people are profoundly grateful to you for your work. Please know that we are all with you in spirit wherever you go! There are thousands of us cheering you on, and millions of Americans who would thank you if they knew what you were doing.

During the voting rights campaign in Alabama in 1965, each of us had a card in our pocket with the phone number of a local ACLU lawyer, a number to alert the voting project headquarters in Atlanta of any trouble, and an FBI number. (In those days, we believed that, with a President in the White House who supported voting rights, we had federal protection. You may not want to trust the FBI these days. I wouldn't. )

My point is that we were organized and had backup for dealing with emergencies, since our lives were always in danger. Three civil rights workers had been slain in the South the previous summer, and still, in 1965, there was intimidation, followings (by both local sheriffs and white thugs), phony and scary arrests, and the constant threat of violence.

The most important safety factor is to have a network of people knowing where you are at all times--people at each end of your travels who are waiting for you, or who expect you to contact them when you get there. Another is NOT to travel alone--the bigger the group the better. A third is to create an alert system--it's easier these days with cell phones--a phone number, that, if you call it, it instantly signals trouble--whether you can say anything or not.

These are three simple things you can do for your own safety--and it sure looks like EVERYONE working on Election Fraud in Ohio should be advised to implement these and other safety measures.

ALSO: the groups, organizers and attorneys who are involved should actively take on the security issue, and provide information, advice and backup. DON'T LET PEOPLE SHINE THIS ON! It is very serious.

And, yes, Congressman Conyers, and other persons in positions of power, should absolutely be notified that this has occurred. The whole blogging community now knows about it --which is much to the good. Publicity is most definitely a safety measure.

Something others have pointed out in this thread--that you should remember: The work you are doing is extremely threatening to the criminals who stole this election, or these thugs wouldn't be trying to intimidate you.

Please know that we are hugely admiring of your courage, and we are WITH you!

[And we shall remain WITH you always in Yo-Yo Land!]


First, no more phone numbers and travel plans on the gawddamn internet where the nazi wolves are watching!!!!!!!

This is a matter of life and death and BIG POWER at stake in the election so don't be naive about who we are up against.

1)Travel in groups and several vehicles.

2)Police report with evidence from vehicle contact and witnesses.

3)Tell all the press possible. THIS IS A STORY THEY CAN RUN WITH!


This is too important to f*ck up AND get killed over.


Katrina. Now may be the time to get yourself a handgun and learn how to use it. If you are fighting these assholes don't go into it thinking that good will will win the day. Take care of yourself. They are trying to intimidate you at this stage. Having a Smith and Wesson in easy reach will give you a sense of calm and them something to think twice about if you fire off a few rounds when a situation develops.

[A DUmmie and his anti-gun stance is easily parted.]

You expect a woman with a handgun to go up against a couple of tinted-window monster SUV's with Maryland plates? That would be suicide. Whoever's in those vehicles are certainly trained and armed men who would take her out in a second. Your sense of calm would be a false sense of security. I would suggest she drive always with another car or two escorting her, as many witnesses as possible, with videocameras ready to go all the time. And have her car inspected for a GPS device. They probably planted one on it somewhere.

[Attack of the Killer SUVs….but I repeat myself. But now let us hear the account of this incident posted on this thread by Katrina Sumner herself posting as DUmmie katalyst…]

The part about being with 3 other women.. that was in another car while I was in Columbus. The being driven off the road.. happened on my way back to Beavercreek in my car. My car nor I had any damage, just to clear that up. I came to a screeching halt sliding slightly in the gravel at the edge of the road which took me into the grass of the ditch. It wasn't a deep ditch of sorts, so nothing major there. No police report was filed. Why? I think that could only hurt me more than do any good. My friends have always said I'm the lucky one because I never tend to get pulled over when I get into a little speeding frenzy, however lately I've been pulled over almost every other day. So I have my suspicions since I'm either given verbal warnings, written warnings (neither of which came with any reason), or just Sunday finally given a ticket for what I was told my windows are too dark and I have to get them replaced before going to court.

[How very very convenient for Katrina. Nobody in the car with her. No damage to her car. Shallow ditch. No police report filed. In fact NO EVIDENCE at all about her being run off the road by a couple of cars driven by evil rightwing fascists. Oh, we do have Katrina’s word and I have to say that she must be believed….as much as Professor Kerri Dunn must be believed. But let us allow Katrina to get one final word in…]

So I think it's useless to be honest. And, there's no point in making a fuss about it really. It's when you do things like that they stop taking you seriously. It's the general thing caused by too many crying wolf I suppose. You have to wait 'til a wolf eats you first if I get it right

[“I think it’s useless to be honest.” Ms. Sumner, may I have your permission to inscribe that sage statement on the plaque at the gateway entrance to Dummieland?”]


Blogger Icarus said...

Dude --

I've been reading your blog for a couple weeks and really wanting to drop you a line, but I can't ever find an e-mail address.

This morning I finally decided to sign up for a blog account just so I could leave a comment. I'll keep it short:

1) PLEASE put an e-mail address up. Trust me. You'll get a great deal of fan mail and some hilarious hate mail.

2) My basic point: this stuff may be the funniest thing I've ever seen. I never wander into DU myself -- those delusional freaks give me gas and a headache - but your site is frickin' hilarious. I don't know what's better --- they're looniness, or your comments. When I read, it's like watching my own reactions unfold. Your comments are just priceless.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! Seriously, you need to expand this blog. It's the funniest thing on the Net. And after reading some of the DU stuff, I think EVERY conservative blog should link to them .... if most Americans knew how these people think and act, there would never be a Democrat elected to anything. Ever. Again.

However, that might rob you of valuable material.


11:09 AM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

Thanx for your comments. I will be putting up a hotmail address for contact. Actually I am looking to get the DUmmie FUnnies published as a book with lots of related illustrations and comix stories. But what do you mean by "expanding" the DUmmie FUnnies?

5:35 PM  
Blogger Katrina Sumner said...

Hi I'm Katrina Sumner and while I didn't read everything here I did read a few.
If you all note somewhere as you post and post and post things that I wasn't the one that began posting information out to news and all else. I didn't call the attention, infact I tried to quite the opposite. Reports have been made and on more than this "running off the road attempt" where also witnesses have been present. The only one that looks like loonies that should go on you conspiracy lists and what not as you call all of your craziness or covering up are those that fabricate the details. I have seen much of that going on so far. For those of you who doubt, I don't mind. I won't become angry. I will just think you are a severely lacking knowledge, are on the other side making the attempts that are always found to discredit someone, or just another looney in and of yourself.
I would suggest any "right-wingers" out there, since I have been known to not take a particular stance to sides, that be of fair conscious and look to those who you support. It's not only about this election, it's about much more. And back to those who bring about these labels, tin foil stupidity and all, don't think over reporting records lock down that someone would attempt to run someone off the road. Instead they slice tires it appears. I think that incident has to do with something else.. and I'm sure you would love to know. Let's wait and see how it all ends.

5:30 PM  
Blogger Katrina Sumner said...

Truly now after reading all of this how you put it, it did give a few laughs. I suppose I still have my humor about me.
I don't know all about this tin hat stuff though. I'm afraid I must have lost the information on that one, maybe someone here can supply me one so I can look the part you're framing me for? I'm always up for a good laugh especially when there's too much serious stuff happening.
I wonder if all else in a situation of the running off the road would panick and wreck? They should take some sort of defensive driving course in that case. Because they're just plain dangerous. I think if someone was doing more than a warning(?) they would have to do a bit more than make such an attempt. Like maybe hit their vehicle against mine? Now if that would be reported that would be plain lunacy. I'd expect that from some other side. Also if in fact something like that would happen then there would be true evidence. Not just a messed up car (mine) but another vehicle unable to separate from mine. I'm clearly not the type just to be pushed off the side. Some fight back being funny, others legally, others not, and some give out what is given. Whatever that means eh? Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not killing the funny comments you want to post am I? That'd be sad. Then I wouldn't have anything to drift me into sleep.
I believe I forgot to mention about this car tire as well. Slashing you know, that's a cut just in case some don't understand. Since my what? oh yes.. tin foil wearing head? that's right? in any case made it up, I suppose Visa is on it too, because I believe they posted a charge on my credit card for fixing it.
Wow it all must be conspiraces. Even Visa is in on it!
Watch out you who puts the tin hats (still unsure about this stereotype) on people, they may get you to.
Thanks so much for the posting here too. It really takes the edge off.

10:36 PM  
Blogger Icarus said...

Oh, you have got to be kidding me! These DUmmies and their delusional tinhat moonbat friends just keep getting better! It's like every day is Christmas!

10:59 AM  
Blogger Zonie said...

Too funny, PJ... don't wear yourself out here and on FR! Best wishes for a big fat book contract! (and don't forget your fellow writer friends.... TenthAmendmentChampion... out).

11:01 PM  

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