DUmmie FUnnies 12-01-04 PM Edition ("How are you coping?")
Hi all---I know I keep getting very depressed about the count/recount efforts and swing wildly from thinking it's the most important thing in the world that must get done to save us all from the corrupting evil spreading across the land... to feeling like, well, gee, seems like whatever we do, we just get slapped down anyway, so,
[Analyze, strategize, and obsess all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that a certain “Chimp” will be Smirking at you from the Jan. 20 Inaugural Stand. Oh, and FYI, the DUmmie Suicide Hotline set up for you that day is 1-800-BUSH-WON.]
Last night, sleeping only a few minutes at a time, I had nightmare after nightmare about DU people getting arrested and about me getting kicked off DU and not knowing who to turn to for a shoulder to cry on.
[John Kerry will allow you to cry on his shoulder but ONLY after you make a contribution to his ’08 Presidential Campaign Fund. Let us now hear more from the desperately coping Dummie kk897…..]
And I'm not even, like, a big activist or anything. I've done a few things. I can only imagine what it must be like for those activists who have been trying to break down walls for *decades* even. I know people say all the time, "it's the little victories. If I have helped out even one person, the effort is worth it." I don't know why, but that just doesn't satisfy me, personally. It seems like for every little victory there are ten defeats. I also know that I don't want to give up, that I must not give up. So I must learn to cope. Suggestions? How are you coping?
[How am I coping? Fantastic, Dummie kk897! Not only do I feel terrific and get plenty of sleep, I also get royally entertained laughing my ass off reading the posts of the dejected DUmmies such as you. But now let us hear from your fellow DUmmies….]
My sleep habits have gone to hell. I'm so hungry for info that I can't get my brain to shut off. Frankly, I don't think I'm coping very well and look forward to hearing what others are doing...
[The other Dummies are waiting for Dr. Kevorkian’s release from prison so they can make use of his services. Don’t worry. He will get your brain to shut off…permanently.]
hope is fading fast. its a rollercoaster,I like you sleep little any tidbit of information I get raises my hopes just to have them crushed 10 times over. The only hope I have left is for Kerry to come storming out with criminals charges . Theres only a few days left and that hope will be gone. Then comes Inauguration.........When that happens ,my family and I will be looking to the border.
[The border is NORTH! NORTH! NORTH! Just keep heading NORTH!]
It doesn't help that my laptop is by my bed, and when I wake-up, every couple hours, I really wake-up, and look for more and more info. Then remind myself I have to get up early to make sure my youngest son is up for school. I then fall back to sleep for another 2 hours, only to wake again.... I don't think I will ever know a full night's sleep again.
[To sleep: perchance to dream: aye, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil.]
Keep the hope. Kerry will become President on January 20th.
[1-800-BUSH-WON. Laminate that Suicide Hotline number and keep it in your wallet on that day.]
To be honest, as bad as things are, I think you need a pro. I mean seriously, I think it's time to seek the help of a person who is trained to help. We're certainly not. If you can't sleep you need help.
[I highly recommend Dr. Buddy Rydell.]
My own personal hell: I am in therapy and my therapist (holy crap) is a RETHUG! I think I need a new therapist so I can be COMPLETELY honest about the depths of my disillusionment.
[Whisper the depths of your disillusionment into my ear. I promise it will go no further. Hee! Hee!]
In therapy here. Luckily, both of my counselors "get it." Although one of them thinks everything will be peachy keen when Hillary runs in 2008. :| The other counselor is buying more guns because "Bush is a f*cking lunatic" and it's "getting really scary out there." He and I think alike, but I can't get a gun because I'm considered a suicide risk. I am not coping well with * being re-coronated. I've cried every day since November 3rd. Emotional fallout created the last straw that made me disown my toxic Republican family. The town I live in is full of Bush lovers and fundy nutjobs. I am completely alone. When the doctor's office asked for an emergency contact, I couldn't give them one. I don't know anybody I trust that much except for counselor #1 and I can't exactly give them his home phone number. It's supposed to be a professional relationship. Has anyone else been this alone? Have you had to start over? I have to undergo neck surgery soon and have no one to turn to. I am in terrible pain. My apartment is still in shambles and I have trouble doing household tasks like dishes and laundry. Money is so tight I lived the last week on cream of wheat. It's been a year since a second MRI was requested and Sacramento keep cutting Medi-Cal...so no MRI. I'm pretty sure I've developed a third herniated disc in my lower back.
[But the upside is that this week there is a sale on Malted Milk Duds that you can eat plus your gun-toting shrink is now seeing a shrink.]
I truly feel for you, even though I don't even know you! But I do know you have a good heart, and that's enough for me. I've been there--I've been down the rabbit hole of depression, and I know what it's like at the bottom of it. I hope your surgery and recovery go well, and don't worry about your place being a shambles. Give yourself permission to feel crappy and to be a bad housekeeper. There are bigger fish to fry, my friend. And the biggest fish's name is GWB. I wish I had some advice about your financial struggle for you. Hell, I wish I had any advice for you! Just know that there's someone out here in the glow that cares and wishes you well. (I realize, having been there, that it's small comfort, but please try to take some comfort from it). Please PM me or post here to let us know how you're doing. And don't buy a gun. How 'bout a bow and arrow? It'd probably be cheaper and less dangerous anyway.
[I recommend spitballs. Cheaper and less dangerous than a gun.]
I've been struggling with depression for years, and this past month has been hell. After next week my therapist is switching insurance companies and I won't be able to see her any more. What horrible timing. Unfortunately, I'm in Maryland, and broke, so I can't help you directly. There are some thoughts that came to mind. Please post something on the California forum -- there should be a few DUers living in your area who might be able to lend a hand for you. Maybe someone can find you a helpful social worker for the medical and financial problems. Also, you might find some help by contacting a member of Congress. Their aides help people with all kinds of problems. Also, go to your local Unitarian church, or whatever place of worship you feel most comfortable with. They will help you. Unitarians won't try to convert you, either. The main thing is, don't be shy about asking for help.
[And if the Unitarians don’t do the trick, then check out the Snake Handlers.]
I had been in a bit of a fog... but lately I have been having serious bouts of anxiety and panic attacks. I am somewhat prone to the nervous personality, but it has been pretty bad lately. I have had to disconnect from my blog and DU for a while -- trying to figure out how to move forward. Just not so sure how to do it!
[Try doing Standup Comedy. Hey, you’re cracking me up!]
I don't feel like celebrating Christmas this year. I'd like to hang black bows on the outdoor wreaths, etc. as a sign of mourning.
[Hmmm…. Hanging black lightbulbs on your Christmas tree might be a good option.]
I don't think I'm coping to well either. Sometimes I don't think I can stand to hope again only to have it dashed. Sometimes I don't think I can stand no change for even a single second more. Then I'm not trying to sound like a history teacher or compare myself to the great leaders of our time or overly idealistic etc, but somehow the thoughts of history help. Martain Luther King,didn't achieve Civil Rights in an instant but he kept going none the less, most of the female activists like Stanton, Anthony, Sojurner Truth etc didn't see equal rights for women in their time, and hell we still don't have it. I guess all we can keep telling ourselves is that someday, somehow, someway it will matter that we kept our voices raised for justice, and justice will be granted even though we may not know immediate victory. And in the end you're remaining true to yourself and showing your own courage and convictions and you should feel proud of yourself if nothing else. Being here with you all helps. It is good to know we are not alone and to have a place to find courage and support. Also take a break. Take long walks, long baths, read, sing, watch a comedy. It helps keep you on track and keep your voice strong.
[I’m surprised you didn’t compare yourself to Gandhi, Mandela, and Saca...uh, you know, that hard-to-spell Indian chick on the annoying dollar coin that looks like a quarter. Take long walks, long showers, eat, drink, vomit, and watch water evaporate. It helps keep you on track and keeps your shirt in the washing machine.]
I'm an atheist. An incident with a snake and 9-11 made me a complete non-believer, although I was headed that way, anyway. (Yes, something involving a snake made me a non-believer...it's a weird story.) I suffer from depression AND anxiety AND panic attacks. I've had to up my klonopin dosage. If I go off the klonopin, I dissociate, which is a bizarre feeling. I'm only "happy" when I'm asleep. As if to make up for the hard times, my dreams have been extremely interesting...Freudian wish fulfillment, I'd wager. I can't stay away from this forum, but I think I probably should, at least for awhile.
[Let me guess about that incident. The snake bit you on the ass and the venom paralyzed your brain.]
I'm turning my energy toward starving the beast. I'm deeply angry. I'm watching no corporate news on television. I'm avoiding most commercial TV, period. I'm buying nothing new except food, and I'm buying most of that at the local co-op. I'm making Xmas presents instead of buying them. I'm heating with wood, not gas. I've had it with the corporate culture that is hostile to the people of this country. I'm done fattening the rich. When I come up with anything new to avoid feeding the beast, I'll share it.
[Ah! Unabomber Chic!]
I'm starting dig back into my work, but it's on my mind a lot, too. Effexor is an anti-anxiety drug I take anyway (I'm pre-screened, lOL). My biggest concern is a draft-age child who Chimp will get over my dead body. I find myself haunting DU a lot to look for more info, but I agree that the scraps of hope are getting fewer and fewer. I think we're in the stages of mourning right now, which is natural. Other than sending emails and signing petitions, we have not been able to express our frustration. As soon as we get some good protests to attend, we will do much better.
[HEY! Let’s all trade depression prescriptions! I bet I have the kewlist meds of them all but let me hear more from the rest of you!]
I get a little bummed out thinking about four more years of Bush and all the havoc he can create. I get bummed out thinking that the people of our country re-elected this idiot -- that really gets me the most. Then, I come to the DU boards and read all of the exciting stuff that is happening and I start to believe in our country again.
[Yes, great stuff happening here. Visualizing our own reality of a Kerry victory. Bev Harris shaking us down for bucks in order to stay at 5 star hotels while marketing her vote fraud documentary. Jesse Jackson hopping aboard the vote fraud scam. It certainly is exciting!]
I do have a pro.....who I see every two weeks, and all we talk about is this. She always tells me how much better informed she is after I leave. I usually bring some type of literature to leave in the waiting room, or for her to share with her compadres. For me, so much raw emotion is involved and encompasses everything. A few years ago I was talking to an artist and he was enlightening me to the fact that almost everything you touch,see,hear is 'political'. The most important thing for me now is to pick one thing...for me its writing letters and emailing, and accept that as my part. Educating myself is the most important contribution I feel that I can make, and while it is frustrating and overwhelming, there must be some purpose for the acknowledged addiction. These are strange times, and we're all part of them. When I feel myself to close to the edge I read a book, take a walk, step away from the computer....
[And don’t forget that all-important step off the edge of the cliff this Jan. 20.]
We had a GREAT protest today! Downtown Madison, WI. About 200 people--not huge, but a passionate crowd. After walking around in picket circles, yelling, speeches etc. a bunch of people stormed the Election Office!(due to their recent contract with Accenture for a statewide voting list) 2 TV cameramen followed us up. I think this helped everyone who was there to get rid of that pent up frustration and anger, and feel like they are doing something constructive. I am pumped now but before,I had been feeling as badly as you, just researching on the computer, and waiting for news,having hopes go up and down, again and again. Until last week, I was trying to feel productive by making and distributing fliers. That helped too, and I think it helps to energize everyone else out there, to see these anti-Bush, and anti-fraud messages. Saw a stop sign today--someone had spray painted "Bush" beneath the word "stop" Gives you a good feeling to know others out there are mad as hell, and ready to do something about it. I just don't understand why there aren't thousands protesting in Florida, and demanding recounts.
[Uhhh…. Maybe because they have a LIFE?]
I am going nuts! Seriously, any forensic accountant can prove that Kerry won both Ohio and Florida, yet everybody keeps talking recounts. We don't need recounts! We have the proof. I've been trying to tell everyone we can prove it. But I don't know that anyone believes it. WE HAVE THE PROOF!
[So WHAT IS THE PROOF??? But don’t worry, if proof can’t be found, surmise, speculation, and conjecture will suffice
Chocolate. Chocolate is the best coping aid. That and hanging around on DU. I have sincerely struggled since the election. The hubby doesn't totally get it. But to me, the whole event was both earth-shattering and an awakening. I am smug in the knowledge that I for one am not plugged into the Matrix.
[Chocolate coated lithium is my fave! YUMMIE!]
Just when I feel there's no hope, it's all over...then someone like Jessie Jackson steps forward, or CNN (?!!)) covers the protests against Bush in Canada, or discuss the "War Crimes" actions being brought against Bush.
So I guess I'll count to 10, sigh, and 'keep faith' for another few days.
Though I REALLY hope Kerry speaks out REAL SOON...if only to let us all know that all hope is gone, so that we can 'heal' and move on. Until he does, I can only assume he's still holding hope, as has been indicated on several occasions.
[Look for the oh-so-subtle secret hand signals when Kerry adjusts his tie. And when you see him give the one finger salute, you will know Kerry is speaking directly to YOU.]
Just when you think it might be time to "throw in the towel" out of no where comes a gush of good news. I love it! Yesterday was very much so an UP day, when I heard Kerry's lawyers had actually filed the papers to join the recount in Ohio and that Bev stormed Lepore's little gloat party! I couldn't have been happier about our progress. The only thing that could have top that is Kerry coming out fighting and ready to challenge this thing out in the open. I'm still hoping, I can't stop. I also enjoy all of the TV coverage Jackson is getting, to speak up for democracy. Yes, it was a good day yesterday.
[And yesterday I had the clearest visualization of my own reality of Kerry being inaugurated in January.]
It's pretty goddamn bad! I'd love to find a nice hole and pull the cover over. BTW, on a more cheery note, I suspect the real shit-storm will occur post 1/20.
[That’s when the shit-storm will be raining on your parade.]
I've been trying to talk myself out of my four-year-long freakout, but honestly, I think these are really EXTREME times and that feeling out of sorts is perfectly reasonable. The end of democracy is a big deal!! It's huge! I feel like I can't relax and accept things as normal, because then they've won. But if they ruin my life, they've also won.
[I love that concept! Heads, we win. Tails, you lose. KEWL!]
Before the election I planted a vegetable garden and started growing some cool season veggies to help distract me from the hours I was spending on the Internet because the NYT and AJC were not enough. That worked for a while. But the election definitely put me in a funk that I am still trying to climb out of. I kept hoping if I didn't acknowledge Thanksgiving somehow it wouldn't come and I wouldn't have to climb into the whole matriarch role - but it came anyway and I survived. And in some ways it helped me because I had no choice but to get back into reality because many were depending on me. Now I must face Christmas and that will be even more difficult because it requires so much more forethought and preparation - and I signed up to go to Ohio (hoping doing something constructive for the cause will help???) but the timing of that will really add stress to the whole Christmas act . . .
[Maybe if you don’t acknowledge Jan. 20, the Inauguration won’t come.]
I'm angry. I'm hopeful. But I've been that way for quite a number of years now. I hate hypocracy. And this democracy has turned to hypocracy. Since at least Reagan. That's a hell of a long time to be pissed. And to top it off, I'm trying to buy a house. And I was supposed to have a decision on my loan, on election day. And the same thing is happening to my loan as is happening to the election. Gears turning, and nothing appears to be happening. I've been sitting on the edge of my seat, wondering about the election and my loan. I even have my belongings in a moving van in front of my house. I was so sure it was going to happen, I moved everything. Boy was I a fool. Now I sit in an empty house. Waiting. It's so weird that it parallels the election. I spend a lot of time on DU. Not only can I no longer listen to President Asshole, but I now cannot even look at him. It's his arrogant hypocritical school yard bully attitude. What an ass! But, it's times like tonight when I soar. Just the slightest good news, and things look up. I really hate getting robbed. Especially twice. I wish I could help more. But like everyone, I have a life I'm trying to live. And I'm discovering that I've been autistic. I don't have what it takes to help out. So I watch. And donate. And sign petitions. The things that gives me hope are hearing bright people like Chamsky, who know that things have been this way before. Someone who knows the true perspective. And the thought that Bush won't make it four years. I'm nearly fifty. So I have a bit of perspective, myself. Unfortunately, things were much better than they are now. But we didn't have DU. There IS hope.
[You’re nearly fifty and you are JUST NOW discovering that you are autistic? Have you considered entering this little fact into the Guinness Book of Records?]
In many ways Nov. 2 was more catastrophic than Nov. 4 when I was diagnosed with an incurable, fatal neurological disorder. Simply stated, my faith in the ultimate triumph of justice, rationality, et al was shattered. Facts and investigation on issues such as Iraq don't matter; forget the "shining city on the hill" verbiage, we're no different than anyone else. In fact, I'm convinced my neighborhood could readily supply a full contingent of Auschwitz-type guards to deal with the non-authentic, non-real, non-"heartland" latte sippers among us. That I was lambasted in a local metropolitan newspaper's letters section for daring to suggest that the execution of the unarmed, severely wounded Iraqi prisoner in the Fallouja mosque involved a real issue of immorality, unlike the threat of marauding bands of gay, atheistic abortionists, should have come as no surprise. But it did, and I live in a blue state.
[I believe that the scientific term for that incurable, fatal neurological disorder of yours is “Just Plain NUTS!!!”]