Friday, April 11, 2008

"Darth Cheney's sunglasses..."

Dick Cheney is a man that no one is ambivalent about. People either love him or hate him. But love him or hate him, no one would accuse him of being a "wild and crazy guy." Or would they? Look at the picture above, taken directly from the Vice President's WEBSITE. Think it's a picture of an avid sportsman enjoying a sunny day of trout fishing? Look closer at his sunglasses. Closer...clo-oser. Notice a flesh-toned reflection?

That reflection got DUmmie Growler wondering. In true DUmmie fashion, rather than zoom in on the sunglasses and apply a simple sharpening tool, he posts THIS THREAD. While he never reveals what he thinks he sees, he certainly gets speculation going as to what it is reflected in the sunglasses. To hear the DUmmie theories, you would think that Vice President Cheney was, at his mildest, Hugh Hefner, and at his wildest the Marquis de Sade.

To which I can only say, "It's Dick Cheney! He's about as wild and exotic as Old Spice."

Now on to watch the DUmmies speculate just what it is in Dick Cheney's sunglasses in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Paul Heinzman, is in the [brackets]:

Darth Cheney's sunglasses...

WARNING: Dick Cheney picture alert!

Okay, maybe I've gone bonkers, but check out this photo of Cheney from his OWN page:

[No "maybe" about it; you're bonkers]


Notice anything... interesting... reflected in his sunglasses? Something that has little to do with conventional "fly-fishing"?

[Nope, looks like a traditional Spey rod in his hands.]

PS: I don't want to say what I think is reflected there, because I don't want to influence any opinions.

[You just want to bait the DUmmies into making all sorts of speculations of their own. Marvelous!]

But what is the reflection? At first, I thought it was a naked man in a rowboat.

[It's Dick Cheney, not benburch.]

I agree with "naked in a rowboat", but honestly it looks like a young woman to me. Of course that could be my own sexist prejudices....

[It's Dick Cheney, not Ted Kennedy.]

It looks naked and human!!

[Could it possibly be a warped reflection of a naked human hand?]

WTF!! Maybe he was getting a little nookie at government expense. Or it could be a naked detainee from Gitmo or Abu Gharib. That explains the smile; the sick old f***er is getting off watching him/her being tortured.

[Go jump to conclusions in a lake.]

I hope this piece of shit (Cheney) rots in hell!!

[Sounds like you already are. I can only hand out LFT and Kewpie Dolls; kevkrom controls the Peace, Love & Tolerance Award. I'll put in a good word for you.]

Have you heard the news today?

[I read the news today, oh boy.]

We "sucker" taxpayers are going to have to foot the bill for his continued secret service protection after he leaves office !!! I would say that he knows how much the Country HATES HIM !! NOT MY TAX DOLLARS!

[If my tax dollars can pay for Jimmah Carter's Secret Service detail as he goes to Syria to commit treason, your tax dollars can pay for Dick Cheney's in retirement.]

Quack Quack torture quack quack quack....

[That's quack-tastic.]

Something to forward to Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert

[Be careful what you wish for. Since both CNN and Fox News ran this story today, I doubt they'll be able to resist these DUmb theories.]

shirtless boy?

[It's Dick Cheney, not Mark Foley.]

but the left side seems to show the naked torso (and maybe more) of a man facing Cheney. Someone with advanced photo imaging software could probably make out better.

[Don't spoil our FUn.]

If it were something nefarious in the reflection, would it be on his official webpage?

[And this DUmmie WINS a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

It's a cigar.

[It's Dick Cheney, not Bill Clinton.]

A partially dismembered human corpse on a tarp?

[It's Dick Cheney, not Hillary Clinton.]

I see dead people.

[I read DUmb people.]

With the disclosed fact that I've had a few...

[Is that you, Will Pitt?]

I need to sober up!

[I guess it's not.]

young nekked big boobed girl

[It's Dick Cheney, not Eliot Spitzer.]

looks like he's got his hand up a monkey's butt. Like it's a puppet

[Temporary sockpuppet?]

I'm not sure if this is really possible, but to me it looks like the reflections are not the same on both sides. On the left (his right eye) there is a horizontal yellow line that appears aligned with the back of the thigh of the body-like shape. On the right (his left eye), that same horizontal line appears aligned lower down on the leg. Could there be two figures, each casting a reflection in just one of the glasses panes?

[Only if his eyes are on the sides of his head.]


[Thanks for ruining a Cheney feeding frenzy by posting an enlarged and enhanced version of the picture that clearly shows the reflection of Cheney's hands holding a Spey rod.]

Can we at least criticize his grip?

[Well do something fast--he's starting to appear human!]

This place was starting to resemble those people who find Jesus in a tortilla.

[The Jesus in a tortilla business isn't what it used to be, so now I'm selling carbon credits.]

Good find! It was funny, another thread was started this morning and I unfortunately had to burst their collective bubble. It was fun while it lasted though!

[Nothing's ever over in the DUmp. Every DUmb speculation gets recycled.]


Blogger Ken Adams said...

"I hope this piece of shit (Cheney) rots in hell!!"
...Said the DUmmie with Tourettes Syndrome.

10:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I can't believe myself. I just L'dOL at your post!

I must have a twisted sense of humor."

Now back to my game of Dungeons and Dragons. I'm a chaotic lawful half dwarf douche bag virgin...

10:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


The speculation was a lot more interesting than the real thing."

Ahhh...the overall philosophy of DU commies in one sentence.

10:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, troglaman, have to admit this is bullshit.

It's someone holding a fishing pole. As to why Darth finds this amusing - you're guess is as good as mine.

12:51 AM  
Blogger Sonnabend said...

The Secret Service protection for the Vice President and its guidelines have not changed in thirty years.

The DUmmie, as usual, is ill informed and poorly educated.

6:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Troglodyte, he's amused because he's having fun. Millions of Americans have fun fishing. The only fun you Demwits have in life is when you're berating someone.

10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Troglodyte, he's amused because he's having fun

Say it slowly, and talk as if to a small child. I guess "fun" isnt in an embittered Troglaman's vocabulary

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Fun" and "amusing", alien concepts to t-man.

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe he's smiling, cuz the smell of the last fish he caught was still on his hands; and it reminded him fondly of his high school prom date.

8:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


The one place 4000 retards gather, each int eh dark dark basement of their mothers, surrounded by pot smoke, thinking the black helos are coming for them...

It's like the virtual VRWC day camp for losers.

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This place was starting to resemble those people who find Jesus in a tortilla.

...or find a messiah in a communist.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Tazzerman said...

I THOUGHT I saw Elvis! Eh, no wait. It's Bill Clinton in an Elvis SUITE with a cigar! No wait, it's Vince Foster's ghost pointing a finger at Shillary.. No no wait, it looks like Paul Wellstones airplane, going going...

I have to admit, when I first saw the pic I saw the image of a naked, large breasted woman. That coupled with the smile and well, I thought Chenny you old hound dog you!

A close look showed that in fact it was his arm holding a fly rod.

At least it wasn't HIS rod eh?

What a bunch of maroons! -tm

6:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

....Or it COULD be the severed arm of a young Jedi, holding a dead light light saber which only looks like a fly rod to our unsophisticated eyes....


7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Fun" and "amusing", alien concepts to t-man."

What? I, troglaman, worship 'fun and amusing'. On the other hand, I empathize with your viewpoint because I'm usually making fun of you, elrond, you dipwad.

So now the left is seriously fucked up because (gasp) someone thought Cheney (sob) WAS LOOKING AT A NAKED WOMAN AND SMIRKING!!!

So the hell what? What does this have to do with anything? Someone tell me.

12:08 AM  

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