Friday, June 16, 2006

Tom Vilsack Joins The KOmmies

Imagine that you are a presidential candidate seeking the nomination from one of the two major parties. The problem is that you are so dull that few people are listening to your boring message. What to do? Simple. Join the KOmmies by blogging for them and buying into their kookie conspiracy theories such as suggesting that the 2004 election was stolen from the Democrats in the state of Ohio. That's a sure way to make your lackluster self be noticed. The presidential candidate now performing the KOokie KOmmie act is Iowa Governor, Tom Vilsack, that you can see pictured above in a non-photoshopped pic. So let us now read the KOmmie BLOG of Tom Vilsack in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering where he can purchase one of those Vilsack headwarmers, is in the [brackets]:

Election Reform and Ohio

[Already my Kook Detector Antenna is on alert.]

by Tom Vilsack

[Proudly blogging from the Kook KOmmie side.]

First, I want to thank everyone at the YearlyKos conference in Las Vegas and especially my fellow panelists Ken Bernstein ( a.k.a. TeacherKen) and Jamie Volmer. I was honored to be invited and enjoyed meeting a number of bloggers.

[Those were the bloggers who later got angry that they didn't find out about Mark Warner's kewl Stratosphere party until it was too late.]

But I didn't write this post to revisit YearlyKos. This post is about a fundamental issue in our democracy: Voting is a right, not a privilege.

[Stand by for a kookie conspiracy theory retread!]

From the people I met this past weekend, I am sure we can all agree that it's time to restore fairness and integrity to the electoral process in our country -- and I know many of you are involved in a number of unique efforts to do just that.

[I know that I need to pander to your paranoia so here goes...]

However, there is one way we can all come together and have a lasting impact: Ohio, in 2006.

[Let the Stolen Election Floodgates open up...again!]

Many of us despise Ohio Secretary of State Ken Blackwell for pulling out the stops in 2004 to frustrate voters. Well, Blackwell is at it again: manipulating election laws for himself and his Republican allies. That's why it's urgent to get an Ohio Secretary of State dedicated to cleaning up Ohio elections.

[As is typical with these Stolen Election Conspiracy Kooks, Vilsack offers us NO concrete examples of how the voters were "frustrated" but that doesn't stop him from playing to the KOmmies by stating that he despises Ken Blackwell.]

I know the candidate to do it, and her name is Jennifer Brunner and on Monday, Heartland PAC endorsed her for Ohio Secretary of State.

[I wish I was still living in the Buckeye State so I could ask Ms Brunner if she thinks the 2004 election was stolen in Ohio. Someone needs to get her on record on this matter.]

Many of you have already discussed her race, but working together there is more we can do to help her win. We issued a challenge -- that Heartland PAC would match each contribution to Jennifer Brunner up to ten thousand dollars. Combined contributions have reached $8,874.04, and we are still giving. But her campaign needs as much support as we Democrats across the country can provide.

[Many of you Democrats have discussed Ken Blackwell's race in a very unflattering way. Calling him "Whitewell," is but one of the many names you use to describe a candidate that you "despise."]

Working together, we need to bring more attention to the Brunner campaign and give her all the resources we can offer. This is what blog communities have always been so effective at -- helping a candidate when everyone else around the country isn't watching. Please, let's support Brunner today:

[FUnnie how of all the secretaries of state, Vilsack goes out of his way to endorse the candidate in the OHIO race. Of course, Ohio is where the Kook KOnspiracists believe the 2004 election was stolen.]

Most of us thought 2004 in Ohio was about as bad as it could get. We remember the confusing decisions that caused literally tens of thousands of provisional ballots to be tossed in the garbage, and long lines in the college towns with only two voting machines, while voters in Republican areas breezed through the polls -- and even threats to reject voter registration forms on paper of the wrong weight.

[Yadda...yadda...yadda... Yes, Tom, we've heard all this KOOK conspiracy talk before. And, of course, no ACTUAL EVIDENCE is ever offered to show how the election was stolen although RFK, Jr. made a pathetic ghostwritten stab at it in Rolling Stoned.]

Well, Blackwell has stooped even lower than ever. This time he's rushed "emergency" rules that leave Ohio volunteers in voter registration drives facing the risk of criminal prosecution. That's why we need to do something concrete by supporting Jennifer Brunner and cleaning up Ohio elections.

[Most likely Vilsack is referring to "volunteers" offering freebie cigarettes and other goodies in voter registration drives. Support Jennifer Brunner and allow the dead to vote!]

Raising adequate funds is always a challenge -- and more so in these often overlooked races . But past experience, with flawed elections reinforces how important these races are. In 2006, through the twenty-two contests for Secretaries of State -- who control the voting process, we can restore fairness and integrity to voting.

[Hey, Tom! Could you send me a pic of you wearing a tinfoil hat to replace the pic I already have of you wearing a Pander Bear headwarmer?]

Now more than ever, we need to replace Blackwell and other election officials who abuse their power to keep Americans from having their voices heard.

[Of course, NO details on how Blackwell abused his power. Yawn.]

Jennifer Brunner has the experience, training, and commitment to clean up Ohio elections -- and to restore confidence that voting is a right, not a privilege. Go to her site to read her four-point plan and resume:

[And after reading your pander to paranoia, your endorsement of Brunner may well have SUNK her candidacy. Perhaps someone will forward this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies to an Ohio news outlet to demonstrate how low a candidate has sunk in a desperate bid to get the Democrat nomination for president.]

I'm confident you will agree that she is the right person at the right time for Ohio.And I hope you will join democrats in OHio and the Heartland PAC online community in helping her win.

[Jennifer Brunner: As Kookie as I am!]

I am traveling today, so I won't be able to respond to the comments live, but Heartland PAC will be monitoring the thread and sending your comments to me on my Blackberry and I will try to respond to some comments later today.

[Did your Blackberry also tell you that Karl Rove had been indicted on May 12?]

Thank you again for all your work.

[Thank you for proving your kookiness worthy of being DUFUed. And now on to the rantings of Vilsack's fellow KOmmies...]

Thank You Again. For having me at DailyKos to discuss Education, and thank you for taking the time to read this blog post.

[Tom Vilsack commenting on his own post... We heard ya, man! We understand that you are desperate to get in good with the rest of the KOmmies but could you at least let them REPLY first before posting a comment? Oh, and how is smearing Ken Blackwell related to discussing education?]

Tom, are you looking to be tipped some mojo? Knowing this govt. my house will probably be searched for drugs now.

[You can stash your mojo in Tom's Teddy Bear headwarmer.]

I gave $75 to the Kerry campaign for what I thought would be a challenge in Ohio by his campaign. That never happened and I was never able to get my money back-and I'm pretty pissed about that.

[You asked the wrong person. You should have asked Mrs. Heinz for your money back.]

can you tell me why a Diebold machine was stinking up my precinct in the primary?

[Because when you gotta go, you gotta go.]

I also want to refer you to Governor Vilsack's blog post about the Rolling stone article by robert Kennedy:


[Thanx for cluing us in that Vilsack is now drinking from the RFK, Jr. Stolen Election Kool-Aid cup.]

First we'll have to junk that pesky constitution. The Canadians also have a far simpler form of government...we would have to change to a parliamentary form, and also do some extreme streamlining of government at the state level to get anywhere close to the simplicity they have.

[And some of my DUMmie FUnnies readers were worrying if the KOmmies were as entertaining the DUmmies. Thanx for putting that fear to rest.]

I dont know. We have a neighbor just north of the border who seems to do elections with very little fuss and very good results. Name of Canada.

[Hey, all you have to do is get rid of that "pesky constitution."]

the greatest threat is Diebold and other unverifiable voting machines. Get the machines out! Demand paper ballots!

[And right after the 2000 election all the liberals were screeching for the electronic voting machines and wanted to get rid of paper ballots forever.]

My question then is: Since we KNOW 2000 was stolen, and believe more than likely 2004 may have been, why are we allowing it to go unpunished? It seems it is being turned into a soundbite issue for getting votes in other elections, rather than something we really seek justice for. Electronic machines must go completely, period. Why aren't we then standing up to these companies?

[Send the Diebold machines to The Hague to be tried by the International Court.]

Our country was also not founded on secret ballots. Secret ballots were not used until after the Civil War in this country, and our voting process needs to be transparent in order to be considered safe and fair. Our Founding Fathers also affixed their names boldly to a document that for sure would have seen them hanged had not the American Revolution been a success. They had the courage to speak out clearly and boldly about where they stood. Americans today must regain that spirit and courage in open voting and in standing up for the country those men died for. It is in my view the only way to save her.

[Great. Get rid of secret ballots so folks voting the "wrong way" can be immediately identified and targeted by the DUmmies and the KOmmies for harrassment. Oh, and signing your name to the Declaration of Independence is somehow like voting at the polls? Maybe Tom Vilsack could discuss History Education with you.]

The Progressive Democrats of America are saying last week's House election in CA-50 (San Diego) was rigged, and are demanding a recount. This was the hugely watched Busby vs Billbray race which appears to have put a Republican lobbyist into the seat vacated by Duke Cunningham, who resigned after confessing to the biggest Congressional bribery ever recorded, from Republican lobbyists. The electronic voting seems to have been rigged for the Republicans, as usual.

[And we can expect scores of election results this November to be challenged by the crybaby Democrats. WAAAAAAH! We didn't win the election? FRAUD! WAAAAAHHHH!!!]

Enough of the Democrat "keep the powder dry" bullshit. Fight for something while there's still any chance. I expect the dry powder Democrats to same the same old thing in November, to keep the powder dry for "the real election" in 2008. And again in 2008, about 2010. But never again, after Demcrats are all dead in concentration camps.

[As you can see, Dear DUFU readers, the KOmmies are providing the same great wealth of material as the DUmmies.]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I have a VERY SPECIAL offer for my DUmmie FUnnies fans. It is a product I have been using myself and fully endorse: the amazing HELICOPTER KITE. This helicopter kite flies like a helicopter. You can make it go hundreds of feet into the air or hover it just a couple of feet off the ground. The propellor rotation is done entirely by windpower. Please check out the VIDEO of the INCREDIBLE helicopter kite. Not only was the helicopter kite aerodynamically designed but it is also MADE IN THE USA! The helicopter kites have a LIFETIME warranty so all defective or broken parts will be replaced. Your purchase of the helicopter kite will not only provide you with lots of FUn this summer but it will also help keep the DUmmie FUnnies going. So take a look at the VIDEO and be AMAZED!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somebody should call Tom Vilsack and warn him that there must be an imposter using his name at Kos. This can't be real.

5:10 PM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

It's all too real. Tom Vilsack is so DESPERATE to make a hit with the FAR LEFT that he has become one of them by Blogging at the Daily Kos and buying into their KOokie KOnspiracy theories. Already another Blog about Ohio has picked up on his slamming Blackwell by saying he "despises" him.

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It really is hillarious how pathetically cliche the author of this blog is, referring to Democrats as 'communists'.

Poor crybaby is running scared that he's going to lose the 2006 elections and his God is going to get slapped around for two years before the Republicans nominate a conservative idiot in the 08 primary over McCain or Guiliani, the only guys that can win, and then Hillary smashes them, as she is doing to Jeb Bush, Cheney and Allen in the polls.


4:01 AM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

Wrong, Anonymous. KOmmies, NOT Communists. Look at the name of this Blog and figure it out for yourself.

1:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pimpin' the blog 'cause ya need the hits!

Might have to get me one of them copter kits!


9:07 PM  
Blogger James Jones said...

Darn. I wish you'd used the photo of Vilsack with the alligator costume on.

11:24 AM  
Blogger James Jones said...

Darn it. I can't find the images, but this article describes the year Vilsack dressed up as the crocodile from Peter Pan. The Register caught a photo of him with the crocodile suit on, holding a squalling child.

4:38 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

I agree with Icarus... When the dingbats come trollin', you must be doing SOMETHING right! :)

Behold, the power of the left-osphere! HAH!

5:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

and then Hillary smashes them, as she is doing to Jeb Bush, Cheney and Allen in the polls

That's a good one! Almost as funny as the original KOmmie funnies.

Pull the other one. Really. ^_^

11:13 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home