Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Pied Piper Pitt Reappears For Hoaxmas

HEEEEEEEE's BAAAAAACK!!! The infamous 24 Business Hours of Fitzmas are over and Pied Piper Pitt has reappeared for Hoaxmas. When last heard from, Pitt posted an early morning drunken ATTACK last Monday upon Head DUmmie Skinner and has been incommunicado since then. Pitt is now back in DUmmieland without the least bit of humility. In fact he is STILL standing by his Hoaxmas story as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Marc Ash: 'Update on the Rove Indictment Story'" which was posted at 3:55 P.M.. This was followed up a little over an hour later at 5:01 P.M., just past the Fitzmas deadline, with this THREAD titled, "On a personal note..." in which he pleads that they should all just get along. So let us now analyze Pied Piper Pitt's Pained Postulations in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that it is only 8 business hours since the last DUFU edition, is in the [brackets]:

Marc Ash: "Update on the Rove Indictment Story"

[Are you going to try to include lunch hours, coffee breaks, water fountain chit-chat time, and general goofing off in those business hours?]

By Marc Ash
Wed May 17th, 2006

For the past few days, we have endured non-stop attacks on our credibility, and we have fought hard to defend our reputation. In addition, we have worked around the clock to provide additional information to our readership. People want to know more about this, and our job is to keep them informed. We take that responsibility seriously.

[You only worked around the business hours clock.]

Here's what we now know: I spoke personally yesterday with both Rove's spokesman Mark Corallo and Rove's attorney Robert Luskin. Both men categorically denied all key points of our recent reporting on this issue. Both said, "Rove is not a target," "Rove did not inform the White House late last week that he would be indicted," and "Rove has not been indicted." Further, both Corallo and Luskin denied Leopold's account of events at the offices of Patton Boggs, the law firm that represents Karl Rove. They specifically stated again that no such meeting ever occurred, that Fitzgerald was not there, that Rove was not there, and that a major meeting did not take place. Both men were unequivocal on that point.

[But of course, you're not going to believe them. Instead you will trust Jason Leopold's sources like Sonny Crockett.]

We can now report, however, that we have additional, independent sources that refute those denials by Corallo and Luskin. While we had only our own sources to work with in the beginning, additional sources have now come forward and offered corroboration to us.

[Is one of those sources Joe Wilson? That is who Pied Piper Pitt outed as a source during his drunken attack upon Skinner.]

We have been contacted by at least three reporters from mainstream media - network level organizations - who shared with us off-the-record confirmation and moral support. When we asked why they were not going public with this information, in each case they expressed frustration with superiors who would not allow it.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! All those reporters would go public with the Rove indictment story if not for their EVIL Republican editors. Got any more FUnnie Fairy Tales? And now to hear from the rest of the DUmmies...]

If the Leopold's assertions are supported somehow, even this far after the fact, how will it ruin his career?

[How will it ruin Pitt's career?]

Just trust you in other words.

[Pied Piper Pitt has turned himself into the Joe Isuzu of DUmmieland.]

More of the same. Keeping the fires fanned at DU.

[The DUmmies are revolting. They STINK on ice!]

Yep. Because that's what we're all about at truthout, Maddy. Our 20+ member staff, multiple editions per day, original content and original reporting, is all for one purpose: to keep the flames fanned in DU GD.
Oh, and also, we like to do it so as to afford you the opportunity to flex your sarcasm. You've figured us out. It's all about DU.

[Did Pitt make that reply while sober or angry drunk? You be the judge.]

Why didn't you answer questions when they were first asked?
Instead, you called people with questions "f*ckwits" and even insulted the owner of this site--who has been more than gracious to let you keep posting here after your obviously drunken tirade. All you had to do was answer questions. But your hubris got in the way. You are more than your DU membership--I am, too.

[Maddy dares to confront the Magic Man. Oh, and nice touch about the drunken tirade.]

And I'll say this, if you had even considered my question, it would have saved you a lot of embarrassment, because my specific question, immediately after you posted the "ROVE HAS BEEN INDICTED" thread at DU was about the 24 hours. If you had considered my question, you could have dealt with that BEFORE this thing went big. But you were too proud to take a question from anyone.

[It was about the 24 BUSINESS hours, Maddy. Keep that in mind.]

Sorry, but I cannot make myself not be skeptical. Too many pieces are missing from this.

[Including common sense.]

If you want to see who's the dick, read the Dkos thread.
It's pretty evident there.

[At your service, Maddy. You can check it out HERE.]

the one where someone called someone big here a cretin.
and all who don't Believe, are cretins as well.

[Someone big like Skinner?]

And that's not the post...
in which he says that DU ought to pay him for outting freepers, and calls the people who questioned Leopold's article "f*ckwits," among other assorted names.
This is also the same person who said that he'd start a thread when he was proved right so that anyone who had QUESTIONS would have to apologize to him.

[Oh, you mean this drunken POST. Sorry for confusing my inventory of drunken Pitt posts.]

"Don't Post Drunk"

[MADPP: Mothers Against Drunk Pitt Posting.]

I just read the link (and the link within the link) and I am appalled at Pitt's online behavior. Who the fuck does he think he is? A megalomaniac's megalomaniac? Anyone who disagrees with him or expresses any doubt about Leopold's hastily and sloppily written story with all its internal absurdities is a "little fish" and "a cretin"?

The only cretin around here by now is Will Pitt. Pitt has lost all credibility for me after reading his reply to Skinner. Skinner is a big man indeed to allow Pitt to abuse us all further by allowing him to keep his account on DU.

Interesting that 41% in the poll in that link don't even believe Pitt's assertion that Joe Wilson helped locate other sources corroborating Leopold's story.

You want to know if Leopold's story is true? Give both Leopole and Pitt the benefit of the doubt and suppose that "24 hours" really means something they invented the day after publication called "24 business hours", supposedly meaning three days. Well guess what, folks, even giving them the benefit of that doubt, the three days are up, and there's NO INDICTMENT. End game.

[Ah! But you didn't add in lunch hours, coffee breaks, water fountain, and general goofing off in that business hours equation.]

O Ye Of Little Faith. I'm sure that all will be revealed in just a few more "business hours"....

[Keep stretching out those business hours. Fitzmas might yet happen.]

How many times has DU been Charlies Brown to someone else's Lucy? Rove has been indicted on 28 separate occasions according to this place.

[ADMIT IT! You are a regular reader of the DUmmie FUnnies. Oh, and a Kewpie Doll is on the way to you for that brief moment of mental clarity.]

of course they wont apologize. They will go on splitting hairs
over 24 hours=3 weeks. Go TO!

[Hey. Jack Bauer gets a whole TV season to live out his 24 hours.]

Hi, Will! If I were you, I'd stay low... My .02

[Hi, Will! If I were you, I'd disappear for 24 business hours... My .02.]

Well, "business hours" don't include lunch hour, coffee breaks, shooting the breeze around the water cooler, photocopying your butt, daydreaming, et cetera. "24 business hours" could extend almost indefinitely. The put-up-or-shut-up moment of truth is somewhere in the indefinite future, like the Second Coming of Christ or the establishment of a friendly and self-sufficient government in Iraq.

[DAMN! I forgot to include the photocopying my butt time in the business hours equation!]

When they can get a guy like Rather thrown under the bus....
...people at much lower levels in the MSM are not about to stick out their necks on negative stories involving certain NeoCons.

[Rather got Leopoled and the rest of the media got Pitted.]

You think that would have PROVED it to people how much BushInc CONTROLS the media. The Democrats, real journalists, and the American people are mere TARGETS for them.

[Oh I see. No one back's up TruthOut's Fitzmas story and that just proves how powerful "BushInc" is.]

When the documents come out they will have dates on the top. Those dates will be Friday May 12, 2006. Just as we said.

[That was Pied Piper Pitt climbing even farther on on the limb that is due to be sawed off.]

The press conference was to be TODAY. Leopold said
it on a radio program Monday. I was listening. We had a thread on it.

[It depends on your definition of "today."]

Pitt and Leopold do not have ONE verifiable source. This is complete and utter bullplop.

[Wrong! They have Sonny Crockett and Joe Wilson as sources.]

Mr. Leopold is a disgraced journalist, Mr. Pitt is an over-emotional polemicist with the uncanny ability to write extended passages in which each and every word is a cliche'; its quite remarkable, but its not like he's God.

[ADMIT IT! You MUST be a reader of the DUmmie FUnnies!]

You MUST be talking about someone else!! I LOVE reading William Pitt! I can't believe you don't enjoy reading him!

[Is that you, Will Pitt?]

I heard the Rove Trial started today. Its a secret, of course. I can't wait until he is secretly frogmarched to the secret prison to secretly serve his secret sentence.

[Shhh!!! And Bush has already been secretly impeached. Remember, you didn't hear about it here first.]

Everyone can and should doubt. It is on TO to provide facts to assuage those doubts. We are doing the best we can to do so; we reported the original story and were right to do so, and have received confirmation from a broad spectrum of mainstream media corroborating our story. The thing about them not corroborating on the record or in print...well...that's almost as big a story as the Rove indictment itself, and it'll out when the time comes. There are those who have stood by us, there are those who have doubts and await confirmation...and there are those who have made this viciously personal. TO owes vast thanks to the first group, owes hard work to the second, and the just going to do what it does.

[A broad spectrum of the mainsteam media is corroborating your TruthOutTheDoor story? Pied Piper Pitt just climbed even farther out on the steadily weakening limb.]

So Will is quoting Leopold who is quoting his editor who is quoting an anonymous reporter...

[...Who is quoting Sonny Crockett.]

And the ever-changing story changes again.... How many business hours now?

[Pick a number. ANY number!]

Does anyone here know for a fact if Rove was indicted?

[Ask Jason Leopold. And now on to Pied Piper Pitt's 5:01 P.M. POST.]

On a personal note...

[Soon to be personal treatise...]

It would probably be a good thing for the health and welfare of this community for everyone to stop beating the shit out of each other over this Rove story. This goes for me, too. I just got into a snipe-fest in another thread, and immediately felt stupid about it.

[Stupid is as stupid DOES.]

Those who have stood with truthout are owed a massive river of thanks. Your faith will be rewarded.

[A massive Rivers Pitt runs through it.]

Those who have expressed doubts, and await further confirmation, are totally above reproach. If I didn't know what I know, if I was a DUer out of the fact loop truthout has been in, I'd be doing and saying exactly the same things.

[Forgive them for they know not what they do.]

Those who have made this personal - with me, with each other - should stop.

[Dave...stop...stop, will you...stop, Dave...will you stop, Dave...stop, Dave...I'm afraid...I'm afraid, mind is going...I can feel it...I can feel mind is going...]

truthout was right on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, yesterday and today. We will still be right tomorrow and Friday, no matter what the goddam unbelievable lapdog mainstream media has to say (or more to the point, doesn't have to say) about it.

[TruthOutTheDoor was right on Saturday, Sunday, Monday, yesterday and today. We will still be right tomorrow and Friday and Saturday and Sunday and in the next millenium no matter what the damn facts say to the contrary.]

I understand your frustrations at the way this has played out; in fact, I call your frustration and raise it a billionfold. There are good reasons for this, and those reasons will be made clear when everything comes out. Those good reasons haven't made the process easier.

[And I reraise it a TRILLIONFOLD!]

That's it for now. If I sound like a hypocrite for saying this, so be it. I'll take that beating standing up.

[You a hypocrite? Whoda thunk it? And now on to the increasingly skeptical DUmmies...]

I believe in Will and Jason. BUT I also believe Karl Rove has almost limitless power and can cause endless delays, obstructions and obstacles. What's happening behind the scenes is something we will never know, and while I have faith in Fitz, I also believe Rove's power is going to change the whole face of things before it gets to the public. IF nothing comes of all this, it doesn't mean truthout was wrong, it only means there are powers stronger than truth, Fitz and the law.

[NONE can defy the Perfect Rovian Storm!]

My advice: lay low and wait with your favorite cold alcholic beverage.

[Palma Luoca beer? Oh, you're talking to Pied Piper Pitt.]

Dunno what's going on with Skinner but I think Leopold owes us all an apology. The story was wrong. 24 hours was wrong whether it was "business hours" or normal Earth hours. "News" reports shouldn't require any faith to be involved with it.

[Speak TruthOut to Glower.]

all I said is that Will owes Skinner an apology
for some of the things he posted to him earlier this week. I was shocked by how rude he felt he could be to the administrators of this site (not to mention the "cretins" who post here, but I wouldn't expect Will to apologize for that.)
I have met Will - even hung out at his apartment. I like the guy a lot, and think that a lot of what he does is very worthwhile and necessary. But his arrogance, ego, and anger get in the way of his message way too often.

[Too often as in 100% of the time.]


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL @ Pitt.

11:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I call your frustration and raise it a billionfold."--Pitt

I call bullshit.

But you should send Pitt a bottle of his favorite hooch, PJ.

You couldn't have made this shit up!

12:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To mis-quote Daffy Duck: "I can't read this stuff. If I do, I'll die."

I think I may have already broke something important.

Alternatively, if I keep laughing like this I may find myself committed and then I won't be able to read this stuff.

12:54 AM  
Blogger Mr. Right said...

OMG, this is freaking hilarious!!!

I especially love this:

"IF nothing comes of all this, it doesn't mean truthout was wrong, it only means there are powers stronger than truth, Fitz and the law."

Based on this logic, we can presume anything we want to believe is absolutely true! The only reason we can't confirm that monkeys are, right at this very moment, dancing the Lindy-Hop on the moon in sequined pajamas is that Karl Rove and the EVIL neocons don't want us to know! Damn them all!

I love these conspiracy kooks! Keep chugging the Kool-Aid, kids!

And Mr. Pitt, you are a national treasure!

Thanks, PJ!

2:19 AM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Enlightened DU: "Hey, Will Pitt is full of sh*t!"

Lil' Willy Pitt: "Hey, I think we should all get along now!"


4:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Im not sure whats funnier..Pitt's contortions or watching Leopold do the fanciest tapdancing since Bojangles.

5:15 AM  

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