Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Merry Hoaxmas!!!

MERRY HOAXMAS!!! So is it just me mocking the long awaited DUmmie Fitzmas that was supposed to happen today as predicted by Leopold & Lib (Pied Piper Pitt)? Incredibly enough, even some DUmmies are now mocking their mis-prediction in this THREAD of the same title, "Merry Hoaxmas!!" Normally such a thread would be immediately deleted from DUmmieland and the author tombstoned. In this case, however, not only has the thread been allowed to remain but it has even made it into the DUmmieland "Greatest" section. Why the amazing leeway? Probably because Head DUmmie Skinner is pissed off at Pied Piper Pitt for his recent early AM drunken ATTACK upon him for daring to cast some doubt on the Magic Man's fairy tale about the Rove indictment. And speaking of the Magic Man, has anybody seen Pied Piper Pitt lately? He seems to be MIA since early Monday. Perhaps we need to place his pasty face on milk cartons. The DUmmie FUnnies certainly needs to track him down since Pitt has been a reliable source of humor since its inception.

In case you think the DUmmies have suddenly gotten a case of rationality with the "Merry Hoaxmas" thread, never fear. There are more than enough credulous DUmmies out there that will continue to provide humor for the DUmmie FUnnies as you can see in this
THREAD titled "Will Pitt and Mark Ash of TruthOut--- do I trust their judgment?" Of course, the gullible DUmmie answer to that thread question is a naive "YES" which is what makes it prime DUFU material. So let us now watch the disappearing Freudenschade of the DUmmies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, busy with the Hoaxmas celebrations, is in the [brackets]:

Merry Hoaxmas!!

[And a Happy Blue Year!!]

Merry Hoaxmorial Day to you, too! I'm grilling the Hoaxed Steaks... and having some Cold Hoax Tea. Would you like some?

[Yummie! It certainly tastes better than baked Crow.]

Did you read that on some right wing blog and couldn't wait to run over here and post it?

[Ah. A True Believer DUmmie weighs in on Hoaxmas.]

stupid is as stupid does

[And stupid does BEEEEEEELEEEEEEVEEE in Fitzmas.]

Why do you have Rove thumbing his nose at DU? At least that's the way it looks to me.

[You prefer Jason Leopold thumbing his nose at DUmmieland by making you ALL look like fools for believing in Hoaxmas?]

Maddy, are you part of the "commie pinko fag"
Leopold hating, Will Pitt bashing, Raw Story sneering. GOP operative, Troll sneaking member of the "Hey I think there's something screwy about this story.." Cult too? You appear to be assisting the enemy, a friend of Rove and I KNOW that the picture has been posted to make fun of Leopold, which you'll deny anyway, which proves I am right.

[DUmmie symbolman who challenged the veracity of Pitt on this story from the get-go has just weighed in with a bit of sarcasm.]

Why yes, I am. I'm a Paid GOP Operative who infiltrated DU and posted 27,000 posts prior to this one moment of glory! It's been a long and arduous covert mission, but I succeeded! I'm getting time-and-a-half on my paycheck this week--I pulled double shifts since Saturday! I'm going to buy a Hummer and then go shopping at Walmart with what's left. Muahahahahaha! How did you guess?!

[As DUmmie Maddy McCall replies in kind.]

It's going to be party party party after this... now all I have to do is make a few more posts about how Leopold had a book out where he calls himself a drug addict, forger, admits to grand larceny, a whole bunch of stuff. But the best part is, He's basically doing the JOB FOR ME! It don't get no better than that

[Those were just the qualifications that Pied Piper Pitt was looking for in a TruthOut reporter.]

I'll hate anyone for a dollar. I'll even curse out Skinner at 3AM in a very public way. Oops. I forgot...that's already been done.

[OUCH!!! That hurts! If Pitt is reading that, I'm sure it will cause him to reach for another bottle to dull the memory.]

Will may have been Leopoled.

[You might have just hit on Pitt's excuse for the Hoaxmas story.]

You've got 24 hours to retract this post!

[And now for the expected Hoaxmas punchline...]

24 business hours, or just 24 hours straight...


How long is the lunch break each day?

[More Hoaxmas jokes and, surprisingly, coming from increasingly skeptical DUmmies.]

I'm just one of those "wait and see" people. Today, my hairdresser and I got into a religious/political discussion and something I said to her reminded me of my own values: When someone makes an outrageous claim, they must offer outrageous proof. Until then, the default position should be one of unbelief. It's not that I disbelieve the story so much as I require proof. I'm told proof is forthcoming this week and then, if it happens, I'll believe. My mind belongs to me, not to Jason Leopold, Will Pitt, Truthout, Take Back the Media, Newsmax or anyone else.

[Most DUmmie minds are too fried to matter who they belong to.]

please state the length of this holiday... in business hours. to be clear.


he who laughs last, laughs hardest.

[He who laughs last was too DUmb to figure out the joke first.]

I'm not entirely sure what you geniuses are trying to say
but I don't particularly think it's funny that we got fed a pile of crap, OR that Rove isn't getting indicted. Perhaps someone could explain what I am missing.

[You're missing my Schadenfreude at your Freudenschade.]

It's a play on words and how exactly do you KNOW for a fact that we've been fed a pile of crap at this point?

[You'll know for sure in just 8 business hours from now.]

I'm just pissy that we're making light when we don't know if the indictment is real or fake. If the story was wrong, I'll be pissed. If it's right, I'm gonna throw stones at all the people making fun of Leopold and Pitt. I just don't agree with people talking shit when they don't actually know anything yet. Call me crazy.

[Okay. You're crazy.]

By the Rovian calendar. It's 5 days past Hoaxmas, which makes today the Feast of the Renunciation Eve.

[So when Jason Leopold, Pied Piper Pitt, and Mark Ash are busted for peddling Hoaxmas, would that make it Three Stings Day?.... Okay, and now for a look at the DUmmie True Believers, it is on to the "Will Pitt and Mark Ash of TruthOut--- do I trust their judgment?" THREAD.]

Will Pitt and Mark Ash of TruthOut--- do I trust their judgment?


I just simply cannot believe that these two highly intelligent men could be duped by Jason Leopold and his sources. Ash has stood by the reporting of this story rock solid. Why would he do that and risk everything he's worked for at TruthOut.

[Uh...Because he's stupid and gullible?]

Same with Pitt... Why would Will risk everything that he's accomplished the last several years----his books, articles--etc...for something like this?

[Uh...Because he is DESPARATE to advance his non-existent political career?]

It makes no sense. Look--- I agree, Jason has enough skeletons in his closet to make people question the accuracy of this story. But Pitt and Ash have sterling reps in the reporting business. TruthOut has pretty much been an honest publication from the get go.... Pitt wrote two books exposing the lies of WMD's way before the MSM even considered it. The guy has given me no reason to doubt him.

[Let's see the reasoning here. Jason Leopold is a known liar but since TruthOut trusted him that somehow magically makes his reporting accurate.]

My faith in the judgment of Pitt and Ash is why I think what Leopold reported is true. Could they be wrong-- sure. But it's not like TruthOut has a habit of being wrong. If they are wrong---my hope is that they man-up to it and move on. I'll be disappointed--- but so what. It's not like I'll throw my faith in them in the wastebasket.

[So when Fitzmas turns out to be Hoaxmas you proudly proclaim to maintain your stupid belief in TruthOut.]

So I'm asking all you old time DU'ers to have faith in a guy who has been with us from the beginning. Pitt's pissed off enough folks here at DU to start a small Army. So! He fights the fight and he's on our side. Isn't that what counts?

[And Pitt's most recent fight was an early morning attack on Skinner, DUmmie trumad. And now on to the gullible rantings of your fellow lemmings...]

I am willing to believe this story until there is reason not to. We all saw what happened to Dan Rather, and I think the same is being attempted here. I was just discussing this with my father, and he was telling me how no one quite knew what to make of Woodward and Bernstein's revelations either. If there is one thing I know for certain, I have no reason not to believe this report.

[You have just 8 more business hours to BEEEEEEELEEEEEEEVEEE!!!]

If there were reason to retract this story, TO would do so.
Which means they have NOT found reason to retract it.

[DUmmie benburch weighs in with his incisive White Rose reasoning.]

I'm with the Truth-out! Even if the worst case scenario occurred, I am behind them for giving it an honest effort. I sense this was 100% fact but I do know the power of this administration is unmeasurable. They could easily intimidate their corporate media to remain silent. I believe Jason and Truth-out completely. Jason is not in control of the outcome. He reported the facts which I recognize as true.

[Yeah. Karl Rove HAS been indicted but we just can't find out about it because the Mainstream Media is too intimidated by the EVIL Bush Regime to report this fact.]

Rove has fooled Dan Rather and CBS....

[And now TruthOut.]

24 business hours which was up today


Well, there is this fact: There is no indictment. After that, the conclusions are fairly simple to draw. It's a bogus story. And an absurd one. Tell me again that "fifteen-hour session at defense counsel's office while it was 'locked down'" story, which is really funny. Oh, and the idea of a "plea bargain" being worked out before charges are filed? That's funny, too. Let's not forget the "24 business hours to get his (Rove's?) affairs in order," because that's also a classic. Oh, and there's no indictment. No one knows anything.

[And a Kewpie Doll goes out to DUmmie OldLeftieLawyer for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

Why so harsh? Using the word "bogus" infers that Leopold deliberately misled us with a fake story.

[Oh, Jason Leopold with his STERLING REPUTATION would NEVER deliberately mislead us with a fake story.]

or that Rove sat in on the meetings with his secret service detail. totally outrageous. where does leopold come up with this stuff?

[Mother Goose?]

As for the "plea bargain," "fifteen hours session," "Secret Service lockdown," and the "24 business hours" nonsense, well, somebody's yanking a great big chain on people, and I think it's a shame.

[Yank the DUmmie Shame Chain!]

Leopold has no common sense. why would Rove and the Secret Service sit in on this meeting and shut down an entire floor just to make sure that no one gets to one room. The article defies logic.

[Why not? The entire West Wing is shut down and sealed off when Karl Rove orders out for a pizza.]

Leopold should be a comedian. These assertions are actually quite hilarious when you think about them.

[Leopold has certainly provided the DUmmie FUnnies with lots of laughs.]

I gave him the benefit of the doubt until "24 business hours". There is no such term in common usage, anywhere, three business days days would have been the proper terminology. A very poor attempt at CYA to give the story three more days and hope Fitz announces an indictment, and then find a new reason why it wasn't sealed. I think Pitt and Truthout took this story because they were desperate to have the scoop, now it seems his credibility will be the price of that gamble.

[Pitt still has 8 more business hours to CYA.]

Pitt has made his bones as a serious journalist
Even if Leopold's story turns out to be a load of hooey, Pitt will still be believable to me. I do not agree with everything he writes but I do respect him.


Setting aside the astounding nature of the Saturday story including incredible claims like 15 hour visits by Fitzgerald to the defense law offices and redefinitions concerning the meaning of the seemingly transparent phrase "24 hours," no story should require 6 or more supporting posts and at least 2 radio appearances to secure itself. Either the damn story was sound and Truthout editors believed it or they didn't, enough said. Their willingness to shift and shuffle to accomodate questioning by readers betrayed weakness in the original product. The frequent rationalizing and tweaking went a long way to undermining faith in the quality of the original reporting and its editing, and that faith is the only thing readers had to hold their acceptance of the article as true.

[Could you allow me 8 more business hours to shift and shuffle as I attempt to rationalize why the Fitzmas story might be true?]

I have absolute faith in Will Pitt and T.O. and Dan Rather. ...

[Is that you, Mary Mapes?]

Has anyone heard from Mr. Pitt lately?

[Have you checked the Bukowski's barroom floor?]

Its not nice to fool DUers. And he did that...Jason, that is.
By now, that much is crystal clear and only the blue koolaid drinkers believe otherwise

[SLURP! SLURP! Hand me another pitcher of that tasty TruthOut Kool Aid.]

Leopold's article does not make any sense. It defies logic.

[Which is why it qualified for publication in TruthOutTheDoor.]

I'm still enjoying the Secret Service lockdown part. I think I like it better than the 15-hour session part, but not as much as the 24-business-hours part. It's so hard to pick a favorite.

[Maybe we should put it to a poll vote: "What's Your Fave Fitzmas Fiction?"]


Blogger RightWingRocker said...

PJ -

I did not, I repeat did NOT read this post.

I've been really busy lately and unfortunately DUFU has had to take the back seat to other matters for the time being.

However, I did want to stop by and say hi and wish you well.

I promise I'll be back soon!


1:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, Fitzmas, Hoaxmas, whatever, it's Christmas in May for PJ Comix.

Love it!

6:16 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

Thank G*d some of the DUmmies still have faith in Pitt... What would become of our entertainment if you took Lucy out of the Charlie Brown equation?

4:45 AM  

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