Monday, February 13, 2006

DUmmie FUnnies 02-13-06 ("This Mark Warner, he's nice but he's freaking BORING AS HELL")

When I first heard Mark Warner speak, my impression was of a complete BORE. The guy just talks on and on and on without saying ANYTHING memorable. But of course, I'm prejudiced since I am a vicious right-wing neanderthal who normally has an aversion to Democrats. Therefore I figured that bored as I was by Warner, the Democrats would get excited by his bilge but noooooo.... It turns out that Warner even puts the DUmmies to sleep as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Hey guys, This Mark Warner, he's nice but he's freaking BORING AS HELL." Therefore don't look for Warner to go very far when even his fellow Democrats find him to be a big snooze. Right now it is an open competition among Democrats as to who is more boring, Mark Warner or Evan Bayh. I suspect the reason why both those candidates sound like they have nothing to say is that neither of them really want to say ANYTHING. They both hope to get by on platitudes but, as we shall see, that just won't cut the cake. So let us now watch the DUmmies snoozing off at the sound of Mark Warner's voice in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that a load of Cheney Brand Buckshot in the butt still wouldn't enliven Mark Warner's speaking style, is in the [brackets]:

Hey guys, This Mark Warner, he's nice but he's freaking BORING AS HELL

[Tell me about it. When I listened to Mark Warner, I felt like I had to overdose on No-Doze just to stay awake through his speech.]

please don't push him for president... i've been trying to listen to his speech and good lord, he's putting me to sleeeeeeeep...

[Methinks the media will pass off the Mark Warner boredom effect as "No Frills."]

Warners demeanor reminds me of accountants. Nice, Hard Working but charm is definitely lacking

[It's always easy to steal women from accountants since they are always bored with them. Maybe Mark Warner should run for the office of First Accountant.]

I agree. The charisma needs to be cultivated, or he doesn't
have much of a chance. Far too many Americans vote on whether they "like" the guy. People don't take well to men that act like Mister Rogers all the time. It's sad, but you know it's true.

[Is there a "Mister Warner's Neighborhood" song yet?]

Watching now.... Boring even when mingling with the crowd.

[Mark Warner even puts his pet dog to sleep when asking him to do a trick.]

Please, let's understand the handicap. In trying to oust an incumbent, personality traits are absolutely essential. We screwed that up last year with world class ignorance of what was necessary. In an open race in which one party has been in power two straight terms, the benefit of a doubt toward the incumbent party is gone and it's a struggle to decide which course is best. Issues like charm are much less vital than message and competence and who can win the electoral college in a 50/50 popular vote atmosphere, which is what 2008 will be. It's why I backed John Edwards in 2004 and am on the Warner bandwagon for 2008. Please don't keep picking the wrong guy.

[Dullard '08!]

While he isn't a great speaker I do
like how he interacts with people. He does great with eye contact and focusing on who he's talking to. Go to and try to find his q&a. I think he does better one-on-one than with a huge crowd.

[Warner has a wicked way of raising his eyebrow while putting you to sleep.]

He also doesn't think what started the Iraq war warrants looking in to...

[I think Mark Warner would rather avoid ANYTHING that smacks of controversy. He would prefer to remained in a state of Suspended Ennui.]

Saw Him Once. Warner was being interviewed when I saw him, and he was...well...he was waffling. Nope, he's not our man. He may be 'nice', he may have the right ideas, but if he can't get the country fired up he's not the person to run for President.

[On the bright side, Warner does have a great future working the insomnia wards.]

Charisma gave us Reagan. Think about that.

[I am thinking about that and... THANK GOD for charisma.]

I do think Kerry is a better speaker.

[Plus he has a bigger Jockstrap than Warner.]

Warner is just D U L L !!!! He does not inspire me one bit. Nothing much to say, and those CAPPED TEETH!! GEEZ!!

[You are just $10 away from spending an evening with Mark Warner boring you with the small details of the Norwood-Dingell bill.]

Seen him in person and he's a snoozer...

[Are you sure it wasn't a dream? I mean Warner is so boring, how do you know you are actually hearing him or just dreaming you saw him after he put you to sleep?]


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