Wednesday, December 07, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 12-07-05 ("Beware: The Cult of Hillary")

I LOVE to watch the DUmmies obsessively worrying about Hillary's IMPENDING and INEVITABLE presidential nomination in 2008. Why? Because there is NOTHING they can do to stop her nomination. If you think the DUmmies were frustrated in the past over the way fate has dealt them some really bad hands, it is nothing compared to how BERSERK they will go in 2008 because they know she is also a SURE LOSER in the general election. So complain all you want about Hillary, DUmmies. With a little help from Karl, she WILL be nominated which is great since it will be incredibly FUN to watch your reactions. We can already get a sneak preview of how the DUmmies will react by viewing this THREAD titled, "Beware: The Cult of Hillary." So let us watch how desperately FUnnie the DUmmies are as they try to deny the inevitable in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, looking forward to Hillary's presidential nomination, is in the [brackets]:

Beware: The Cult of Hillary

[I worship the One True Hillary.]

No Republican bashing today. Why? Because it's not required. The Republican revolution has is finally petering out, dying a death of a thousand self-inflicted cuts. I said several years ago that the best way to get rid of neo-conservatives is to give them everything they said they wanted. They got pretty much all of what they said they wanted – tax cuts for the rich, welfare cuts for the poor, less environmental restrictions on businesses, free trade, conservative courts, faith-based politics, faith-based education. It began in 1994 with Newt and will come to a grinding stop in November 2006.

[You forgot to mention placing arsenic in the drinking water and starving the cheeeeeeldrun. We got that too.]

That's the good news.

[Yeah. I always thought that destroying the environment was a kewl thing.]

The bad news comes two years later, in November 2008. While Democrats will regain some of their lost power in '06, (with the growing possibility they will even regain at lease one house of Congress,) the party is risking the big prize, the White House in '08.

[The bad news always seems to come to DUmmies in November.]

That risk can be summed up in two words: Hillary Clinton. If Democrats give Hillary the nod in '08 they will lose the White House again -- and this time not by the narrowest of margins, but in a landslide. Why?

[Because that is what Karl Rove is planning.]

Because Hillary is "one of them." There come along from time to time unique personalities that, flawed as they are, attract followers like flies to dung. The likes of Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, Rev. Moon, Tom DeLay, George W. Bush. People like them, follow them down the strangest of paths and trust them with their most precious possessions.

[As a mind numbed robot Dittohead, I trust Rush with my precious set of Dollar Store tacky candles.]

This leaves the rest of us watching in disbelief, scratching our heads wondering if maybe we're missing something. How can otherwise functioning, rational, law-abiding folk be attracted to such obvious liars, phonies and connivers? But they are. Always have been and it will always be so. It's truly one of life's great mysteries.

[Did you trust BBV Bev with your funds like the REST of the DUmmies? That left the rest of us watching in disbelief, scratching our heads wondering if there was something missing in DUmmie skulls that let them get scammed by such an obvious con artist.]

Hillary Clinton is precisely such a person. There's something about the woman that dazzles some people.

[Maybe it is her shapely legs that dazzles them.]

I first saw it three years ago while attending meetings with Democrat strategists in Washington. A cell phone would ring. "Mumble, mumble... okay." Click. "I have to go," the recipient would say, adding importantly, "I have to meet with Hillary." A knowing hush would fall over the room. Glances exchanged. Heads nodded. A call had come from on high. Power had touched all in the room. It was as if the image of the Virgin Mary had appeared on that fellow's toasted cheese sandwich.

[I'm thinking of selling on eBay my image of Hillary on a toasted cheese sandwich. The rest of your "Cult of Hillary article can be found outside of DUmmieland HERE. And now on to the other DUmmie comments on the subject of the Dear Beloved Hillary.]

I will NOT vote for her under ANY circumstances
I hope they don't do it, I'll go with someone else, not her.

[I'm swithing to Democrat (temporarily) just so I can vote for Hillary in the primaries. It is the least I could do for Our Beloved Leader Hillary.]

Perhaps I could leave the country for four years.

[Dear Beloved Leader of North Korea is awaiting you.]

I agree that she is pretty phoney - but hey, she's a politician. What can you expect? Bill was pretty phoney too, but he knew how to pull it off.

[And this DUmmie wins a Kewpie Doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity!]

I ABSOLUTELY can't stand her!!! I liked her husband, but I'm too afraid she wouldn't just let him run everything.

[I wouldn't say that. I'm sure Hill will let Bill run the doghouse.]

I'm glad I have a couple more years to tear myself apart worrying about this.

[Much to our entertainment pleasure.]

it won't matter, she won't win
it's a mathematical impossibility... and not like the one that "won" * the presidency.

[It's a mathematical impossibility that Hillary can win the general election. But winning the nomination is a PROBABILITY.]

Yes, it would be nice to have a female or a non-Christian white candidate, but we may have to look at someone who is just as articulate and qualified; who doesn't polarize. No matter how much Gingrich and Lott and their ilk like her, she is despised by the their inarticulate and lemming voters. She is a polarizer and they are probably setting her up just as they set up a rush of approval for Kerry out of their fear of Dean. They know who they can knock down. They know what arsenal of attack they have in their vault. She may deserve the highest office based on intelligence, knowledge, dedication, and hard work, but we will always have the 90's to live and relive over and over again with the Hannity's , Limbaughs, Robertsons, Falwells, and their listeners. And she doesn't have all the Dems with her as of today because of the mystery of her conversions.

[Ah! The mystery of her conversions. I think you can find out about this in the Sacred Book of Hillary in Triangulations 3:11.]

She Is An Iraq War Sympathizer And Will Not Get My Vote
Under any circumstances.

[What if Hillary promises to allow you to grovel in Her presence?]

I think the truth is that,....most EVERYONE is still scared of,...having a female CIC. We have yet to mature sufficiently to realize just how effective and powerful a woman would be as the POTUS.

[We already have one. Geena Davis.]

GAWD. I. AM. SO. SICK. of the political dysfunction in this country. If I had the power to change anything in this world, it would be the game of politics. Anyone who failed to fulfill the highest commitment to honesty and integrity and service would be discharged, AT WILL OF THE PEOPLE.

[Anyone who fails to follow the strict Hard Left Line would be discharged.]

I don't want to be a member of a global fascist-like, corporacrat influence on this world filled with people,...with people JUST LIKE ME.
and,...with that,...I am emotional,...and tired,...and need to sleep away the images of horrors that have been committed in my name,...

[and,...with that,...I am emotional...and tired,...and need to sleep off those heavy duty meds,...]

I think when she was talking with someone like Al Franken on a talk show recently she said she probably wouldn't run as there might be someone who might be more "mainstream" that should run instead or something to that effect, but it sounds like she aims to be an instrumental part of who gets elected in 2008. I don't think she's probably enough to head the ticket, but if you get someone like Clark heading up the ticket, she might be someone good to counterbalance it in the VP slot.

[BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And you actually BELIEVE Hillary when she says that she probably won't run for president? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!]

And if we can win back the House especially next year and impeach and prison the whole Bush gang and have a president Pelosi!!!

[And...and IF the Tooth Fairy floats down from the clouds and rules the World for all Eternity!!!]

She's not even running for President

[Keep repeating that mantra over and over again and you might even come to believe it someday.]

It is the Cult of the Clintons and it's time a lot of us get into some serious deprogramming.

[DUmmies certainly do need some serious deprogramming.]


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