Tuesday, May 10, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 05-10-05 ("About the Andy Stephenson situation"---Skinner)

There are about 300 million people in America and out of that vast number the ONE person who just so happened to have been a partner in crime with the Bev Harris election fraud scandal pleads with DUmmieland to give him $25,000 for an operation at Johns Hopkins hospital. If you remember, Bev Harris conned the DUmmies out of at least $300,000 because of her claim that she was just “$10 away” from proving election fraud. I say at least $300,000 because that is all that Bev unofficially claimed even though by LAW she was supposed to officially let the public know how much she scammed due to filing as a non-profit corporation with the Feds. Soooo….. After being scammed by Bev bigtime guess who comes along and pleads for MORE money? None other than her partner in crime….Andy Stephenson. You would think that would raise alarm bells in DUmmieland but nooooooo, they unquestioningly handed over their money like the good suckers they are. Not only that, after Andy received the $25,000 (which wasn’t delivered to the Johns Hopkins "money lady" as promised) he comes back to the DUmmies and asks for ANOTHER $25,000. At that point I thought even the DUmmies would become somewhat skeptical but nooooooo, led by the cheerleading Pied Piper Pitt, they went over the cliff listening to his reassuring pipe tune and shelled out yet MORE money. So this morning Andy was scheduled to enter Johns Hopkins FOR SURE. Guess what? He didn’t. Perhaps you aren’t the least bit surprised by this OBVIOUS scam but in DUmmieland they are shellshocked. Can it be? Were we really scammed despite all the alarm bells ringing about this for months? So now we come to DUmmie Skinner, the absolute STUPIDEST forum administrator ever to explain that, um yes, there is the possibility that we feeble minded fools were scammed ONCE AGAIN. So now let us laugh at the comedy routine of Skinner’s lame excuses as well as the replies of the feeble-minded DUmmies which you can see in this THREAD titled, “About the Andy Stephenson situation.” As usual the GULLIBLE DUmmie posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, continually falling out of his chair from the laughter, is in the [brackets]:

About the Andy Stephenson situation

[Yeah, tell us all about it DUmmie Skinner. I am ready for some great comedy.]

Many of you have been following the posts about Andy Stephenson's surgery for pancreatic cancer, and a large number of you have been generous enough to donate to the cause. I am touched by how big-hearted this community is when it comes to our attention that one of our own is in need. Earlier today someone claimed that the entire thing was a hoax to scam our members out of their money.

[Scamming DUmmies out of money? Isn’t that sort of like stealing candy from a baby? Actually it’s EASIER.]

Allow me to be clear: I have my own opinion about whether this is legit or a hoax, but it is only that: an opinion. I do not know the truth. It has long been the policy of Democratic Underground not to vouch for anyone who uses this website in order to raise money, and we have not done so in this case. It is our preference to let our members weigh the evidence, and decide for themselves if they feel comfortable donating or not.

[You don’t know the truth as to whether it was a hoax or not? So why did you allow DUmmieland to be a platform for a scam operation, Skinner? Oh, you thought it could be 50-50 so with those odds you took a chance that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t a scam even though Stephenson was a partner in crime with Bev Harris….the last person who EASILY scammed DUmmieland.]

Our policy of not verifying anyone should not be interpreted as a statement about the legitimacy of any claim, including this one. Put yourself in our position. If we say "we think this is legit" then we might help someone in need, but we are personally responsible if it turns out to be a hoax. But if we say "we don't think this is legit" then we might protect people from being scammed, but there is a chance that a person in need goes without help. So, we're kinda stuck.

[Attention all con artists! It’s open season in DUmmieland. Their dopey administrator will sit idly by sucking his thumb while you shill the suckers for buku bucks.]

The problem is made worse by the fact that we all know that the potential for abuse is huge. A group of people just raised a huge amount of money -- twice as much money in two weekends than DU itself raises during any of its week-long quarterly fund-drives. And they didn't even have to provide any proof whatsoever. (Again, let me repeat: This is not a statement on the legitimacy of Andy Stephenson's situation. I'm just trying to be honest about the issues involved.)

[You bet the potential for abuse is huge. Let’s see, Skinner. Two partners in crime run a money scam on Dummieland just a few months apart. Oh, my condolences about how you fail to even raise as much money as Andy. Maybe you should tell the DUmmies you are just $10 away” from having an ingrown toenail operation.]

Here's what we all know.

[Somewhere between nil and nothing.]

Some people have raised a large amount of money -- mostly from the members of Democratic Underground, but also from some other websites -- which they claim will be used to pay for surgery for Andy Stephenson at Johns Hopkins University Hospital. They say the surgery was supposed to be today, but it was postponed.

[Surprise! Surprise!]

Earlier today, a DU member by the name of MrNiceGuyDied posted a few messages claiming that he had been in contact with a Dr. Cameron at Johns Hopkins University Hospital, who told him that this was a hoax.

[A…a HOAX? Surely you jest.]

Then, a DU member by the name of qanda started a thread claiming the same thing. The thread by qanda did not mention the posts by MrNiceGuyDied. In the thread, qanda gave the impression that qanda had called Dr. Cameron and was told that this was a hoax.

[There’s a whole lot of hoaxin’ goin’ on!]

All hell broke loose. The moderators and I had to step in and lock all the threads.

[Batten down the hatches! Lock all the threads! The Good Ship DUmmieland is sinking!]

qanda posted an apology in my thread which said this: "I apologize for starting the thread questioning the story about Andy. I am way too cynical, and should not have been so quick to believe someone who had no clue." So, qanda seems to be saying that their thread was based on the post by MrNiceGuyDied, but that is not clear.

[A lot isn’t clear to you, DUmmie Skinner, but continue…]

Here's what you don't know.


MrNiceGuyDied is a troll. He was formerly banned from DU under half a dozen other usernames, all of which were heavily involved in stirring up trouble on the BBV issue. There is absolutely no reason to take any of his posts seriously.

[Stirred up trouble over the BBV issue? Don’t tell me that he accused the (GASP!) beloved Bev Harris of being a con artist?]

qanda sent me a private message apologizing for the thread. After I sent her a rude response (I'm sorry, I was very angry), qanda said that they did in fact call Dr. Cameron. So that is the context of the thread.

[So qanda DID call Dr. Cameron and it WAS a hoax. What’s with this context shtick?]

Other people have sent me private messages vouching for Andy.

[“Andy is just $10 away from having surgery.”]

I did not want to share this piece of information, but in light of recent events, I think that DU members need to know that the administrators actually do care about what get posted here. Even though we don't vouch for people, we have been very concerned about the possibility for abuse.

[I could wile away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.]

When the goal for the fund drive suddenly changed from $25,000 to $50,000, we started to get concerned. Last week I called Johns Hopkins Hospital to try to verify that Andy Stephenson is actually getting surgery. Every person I talked to gave me the same answer: Federal privacy laws forbid them from disclosing the names of patients. I want to be clear: My actions are not a reflection on Andy or any other members of this website. I was hoping to quietly verify Andy's story myself, and nobody would be the wiser.

[I would not be just a nuffin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and be merry
Life would be a ding-a-derry
If I only had a brain.]

Yesterday, as part of my search, I was directed to an individual at Johns Hopkins with the job title of "patient representative". We have been playing phone tag since then, so we haven't talked yet. Given the previous responses, I am pretty doubtful that she can help us out.

[You need to talk to the “money lady.”]

Given that this has become an issue, I think we all need to do what we can to put all the concerns to rest.

[A rubber mallet applied to the head should do the trick.]

I think that Andy Stephenson obviously wants to set the record straight and clear his name. And I would like to put the concerns of the DU membership to rest. Here's what I propose.


Andy Stephenson and I need to talk this out on the telephone. He needs to somehow release Johns Hopkins Hospital from their privacy restrictions so they can talk to me directly and verify that the surgery is taking place, and verify that it does cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $50,000.

[Andy Stephenson is just “$10 away” from signing that release.]

Then, we will report back to you, and all these concerns will be put to rest. I will send Andy Stephenson a private message with our office phone number.

[Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting Andy Stephenson and his amazing Disappearing Act!]

Thank you, everyone, for your understanding as we work our way through this.

[And thank you, DUmmie Skinner, for the laughs. And now let us see what your brainwave challenged fellow DUmmies have to say…]

Thank you Skinner. You are great at what you do!

[Sitting idly by sucking his thumb while his forum DUmmies gets scammed AGAIN right under his nose.]

This is not funny at all.

[I beg to disagree. I find all this to be a LAUGH RIOT!]

And I am sure Andy will do anything to clear his name in which idiots from the outside has wrecked.

[Andy Stephenson is just $10 away from clearing his name.]

You must cringe when you log on first thing every morning, not knowing what fresh hell you're going to uncover.

[Or what DUmmie FUnnies edition goes online.]

What a nightmare for the admins. I am way too trusting on this kind of fundraising. But we don't have to look too far back in time to see examples of scams taking place.

[Merely look back a few months to see Andy’s partner in crime, pulling off another scam on DUmmieland.]

Flame me if you must, but there were simply far too many red flags for me to be at all comfortable with it. I'm not sure I believe any of it anymore, and I think a few people have taken advantage of the tremendous generosity and caring of DUers. Sometimes I think we libs can be a bit too naive and trusting than is good for us in many situations.


Are you saying you think this is a scam?

[Somehow I can just barely perceive a very very faint glow in the lightbulb filament hovering over your tiny head.]

Now, let's start sending our positive energy to Andy, again. He needs it.

[Even better. Start sending your money to Andy again. He needs it.]

Thanks, Skinner. You seem to be handling this appropriatel

[…AFTER sitting idly by and allowing his fellow DUmmies to toss $50,000 away on an obvious AndyScam.]

To have this come up is unbearable. I think that many of us got this nasty feeling in the pits of our stomachs earlier - not because we doubt Andy but because we know the hornets' nest that we have suddenly walked in to.

[Or maybe because the DUmmie FUnnies has been warning you about this for weeks on an almost daily basis.]

It should be no problem for Andy to give you a short, written medical authorization that will permit Johns Hopkins to verify some facts for you.

[Andy should be sending in that authorization any day now…from Costa Rica.]

I feel so sick about all of this. I can't imagine how Andy feels. I can't imagine how Skinner and the Admins feel, either, having to deal with this.

[Andy Stephenson is just $10 away from telling you how he feels.]

No one -- no one -- is excused from the obligation to account for money that they have collected for a good cause no matter how good the cause. There can be no expectation of privacy where the patient has himself put his own personal information, including hospital and diagnosis, on several websites for purpose of collecting funds.


I remember Will Pitt being angry because someone was questioning the idea of donating.

[Pied Piper Pitt hates healthy skepticism in all its forms.]

we have to have solidarity!

[Attention DUmmie lemmings! Jump off the cliff TOGETHER!]

i quit and I hope you guys can get yourselves together enough to issue a public apology to andy...

[We’re sorry, Andy, that we are so feeble minded that we allowed you to scam us!]

I can no longer be a part of DU as much as it pains me. I write this with tears people. I love this place, but I can no longer be part of this community unless a public apology is issued to Andy.

[FORGIVE US, Andy! Here’s another 50 grand.]

Feel free to ask Andy for his medical records. He did say he is willing to provide them to Skinner... will that be enough? Or will you need to actually examine them for yourself?

[Andy WILL be sending in his medical records…right after John Kerry signs his Form 180.]

Bev is out of the elections fraud business. She spent the money, no one knows where it went or what happened to it.

[5 star hotel suites and room service massages.]

Well, I have and I nearly blew lunch when I read the subject line of the email. I kid you not, it said " BEV HARRIS, "THE ERIN BROCKOVICH OF ELECTIONS," IS COMING TO BOSTON!" She's charging $10 a head to hear her speak. The rest of the text of the email was very unsetteling too.

[Bev Harris is just $10 away from speaking about election fraud.]

She apparently blew the $$$. So? I gave $$ to AS anyway.

[DUmb DUmb DUmmie!]

I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH ANDY. On the Scale of Shit He Has to Deal With, this has got to rate up there with aliens from Mars and the potential eruption of Yellowstone. But he understands that an accusation has been made, and that Skinner is in a rotten position because of it.

Skinner: Andy is in the car with Ted, and is about 40 minutes away from a computer, so he can't get to your PM with your number for the next little bit. I have PMed you his cell number. If you can, please call him so the two of you can talk personally and get this squared away. He will give you what you need to clear this up, and thanks again for handling this so well.

[So chimed Pied Piper Pitt. Andy Stephenson is just 40 minutes away from a computer and $10 away from making a phone call to clear this all up.]

If Will Pitt says it's legit, it's legit.

[It sure is. This is just as legit as Kerry overturning the election by having his lawyer file an obscure legal answer in an equally obscure Ohio court. Hey, Pied Piper Pitt told us that was legit too.]

It is right and proper to ask for proof. A person can be a wonderful person to go out drinking and talking and kicking up dust with -- and still be a scammer. My friend was very charming and lots of fun. That didn't make her honest.


I trust Andy and I trust Will Pitt who ain't stupid and proves to be a good friend to Andy.

[There’s one of you guys born every minute.]

While I felt betrayed by Bev, I never thought twice about giving to Andy. It didn't occur to me to doubt, though I do not know him personally. Nothing has changed here.

[You are correct. Nothing has changed there. After being suckered by Bev you were also suckered just as easily by Andy. Nothing has changed.]

Skinner, I IMPLORE you to please start another thread...please!

[Please Skinner! PLEASE allow us to be scammed again!!!]

Skinner, any updates? I'm not in the questioning mode, but I'd like to know if Andy's making progress in getting the surgery scheduled. Can you fill us in?

[Calling Skinner! Calling Andy! I know it was 1:50 PM when Pied Piper Pitt said that Andy was only 40 minutes away from a computer and we haven’t heard from him yet even though it is already 7:12 PM when I made this post. Of course, I’m not in a questioning mode. Heh. Heh. But WHERE is Andy???]

How long do we have to wait for an answer? How long can it take to verify this?

[You are just $10 away from getting an answer.]

It seems it's a simple process for him to authorize a doctor or someone else at JH to talk to Skinner.

[Andy is just $10 away from authorizing a doctor to talk to Skinner.]

I had my doubts at the beginning, but the evidence has since piled in and I felt confident enough to send Andy some cash.

[Keep it coming! Andy Stephenson is just $10 away from catching a flight to Costa Rica.]


Blogger Icarus said...

Wow - the first ever DUmmieFUnnies Cliff-hanger!

I'm actually sort of pissed at you, PJ. WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

Did Skinner talk to the boy in the bubble (sorry - I forgot his specific medical "condition" and I love saying "boy in the bubble)?

Was the story confirmed? Is it really all a scam?


And NO --- I'm not trolling through DU myself to find out. I'm far too weak and unmanly to enter that pit. That's what we pay you for.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Supernatural Rabbit Scribe said...

And I am sure Andy will do anything to clear his name in which idiots from the outside has wrecked.

This DUmmie is only $10.00 away from composing a parsable sentence, in which idiots from the outside has wrecked. Please, won't you help?

10:45 AM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

Skinner posted today that he doesn't know anything more than yesterday but MIGHT in the future IF Andy signs a waiver.

12:39 PM  
Blogger George Berryman said...

Just found this site and I've been laughing my butt off now ten minutes. Thanks for the laughs - I will definitely be checking back in frequently. Also thanks for linking to me - I will do the same when I get back home tonight from work and throw up a post detailing how much of a kick I get out of this blog.

It's all so funny and yet so very sad at the same time. But nevertheless we must try to understand the averageinner workings of the tiny far leftist mind. Not because it's useful, just cause sometimes... it's fun. Heh.

2:08 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

ROTFLOL!! On goodness, just when I thought they can't get any funnier! LOL!

2:25 PM  
Blogger Icarus said...

Thanks for the update PJ!

Please add another thread on this topic at some point to keep us updated.

Sure, I could go and read for myself. But like I said, I'm too scared.

3:12 PM  
Blogger Staci said...

I love this site. Would love you to tear up the dummies wondering if al Qaeda is a myth. Those idiots actually took a poll.

1:30 PM  
Blogger PJ-Comix said...

I'm glad you like it here, George, but WHAT is your website? You say I'm linked to it but which one is it? Inquiring minds would like to know.

9:42 AM  
Blogger George Berryman said...

Oh sorry - heh. Alamo Nation is my site. Today I posted a lengthy rebuttal to Nickelodeon's charge that the Alamo and the Texas War for Independence were fought over the good Mexicans wanting to stop the bad Texians from owning slaves.

2:05 PM  
Blogger craychek said...

Awesome guys... It really sickens me to know that you would seriously make fun of someone in a life threatening situation. I didn't hear stuff like that coming from you guys about terry shaivo.

I just thought I'd let you all know that Andy died last night...

5:49 PM  
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I have a bowel cancer site. It pretty much covers bowel cancer related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)


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