Friday, March 04, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 03-03-05 ("Dem Strategy for Dummies")

Any DUmmie thread such as this DUmmie THREAD titled, “"Dem Strategy for Dummies" will ALWAYS get my immediate attention because it includes “DUmmies” in it. So let us now read the grand strategy proposed by the DUmmies. One useful hint to the DUmmies is not to post your strategy in an open forum such as DUmmieland since we EVIL Republicans can easily devise counter-strategies to defeat you. Oh well, that’s why I guess you’re called “DUmmies.” And now let us view the not very secret DUmmie strategies in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, spying in on you, is in the [brackets]:

I found this on Daily Kos an excerpt from a forthcoming book, "Dem Strategy for Dummies":

1. If Repubs say we're making a mistake, we're on the right track.

2. If Rebubs say we're being reasonable, we're making a mistake.

3. If Repubs snicker at a candidate (think Dean), they are afraid of

4. If Repubs praise a candidate (think Lieberman), he's a loser and/
or a spineless wimp.

[5. If Repubs DEFEAT you again at the polls it is because you were too DUmb to realize that Karl Rove is probably reading your DUmmie strategies and is already developing counter-strategies to use against you DUmmies.]

If democrats base where they stand on being reactionary to republicans, their making a huge mistake (both politically and ethically), and unfortunately they do this way too much as is...

[We control ALL your DUmmie strategies.]

The Republicans are allowed to frame every debate, and we have become caught up in the routine of simply reacting to their framing of each and every issue.

[That’s because you DUmmie Ants are so predictable.]

If Republicans encourage a polarization of the electorate because they know that it will help them get out their own vote, and will leave the Democrats without much appeal to the middle third, then Democrats shouldn't step into that trap -- and I think the Republicans were doing exactly that by "snickering" at Dean while also treating him like he was the only legitimate candidate for all of 2003. (Furthermore, "ABB" encouraged the polarization without giving anyone a reason to vote for democrats, and was, therefore, dumb and getting lured into talking about war and terror all the time without making a stand for Democratic values and middle class opportunity was dumb.)

[I am quite touched by this DUmmie’s admission of DUmbness. However, never fear. We will set more traps for you DUmmies to fall into thanx to the guidance of our MASTER, Karl Rove.]

ABB was Rove's best friend. It's unfortunate, but all the time when I talk politics with people, all I hear is how much Bush sucks, poeple could go on for hour after hour with it, but when I ask what do YOU actually STAND FOR, I get nothing ,but muddled incoherent murmurs.

[You bet. The well-planned ABB strategy suckered you DUmmiecrats into nominating the personality-challenged Kerry. However, Kerry has improved quite a bit so PLEASE don’t nominate Kerry in 2008. We really really fear him... Hee! Hee!]

Ugh. I totally agree. People wanted to win so badly, but they pursued...strategies that were so counterproductive, and they should have realized it. That's part of why terror and fear mongering are such useful tools for the RW. They get people so angry and excited that they act without thinking. Even here at DU, I remember "what do you stand for?" threads that were started by people who realized this was a problem, and there were literally 50 different answers to the question. It was hard to find two people who agreed about what Democrats stood for. And the things that people were saying they stood were often things that you were never going to get +50% of the population to get excited about. Job #1 of a candidate should be establishing a coherent, clear statement about what they stand for. Kerry was doing a good (not excellent) job of doing that, but Rove was doing a better job getting people to look away from Kerry and look at Bush as the reference point for everything, and "I stand against Bush" was never going to rally a lot of people in the middle even if it got people who really hated Bush to the polls.

[Our MASTER Rove is the political genius who is always two steps ahead of any move by the DUmmiecrats. Your every move is ALWAYS blunted by a BRILLIANT Rovian countermove. There is NO escaping the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

i was a strong supporter of ABB in the last election ... i did not like what i perceived to be Kerry's hawkishness on the war, but felt it necessary to support his candidacy once he won the nomination ... it may, indeed, have been Rove's best friend as another poster observed ... it was not the cause of our problems though; it was a symptom ... our differences should have been negotiated long before Kerry became the candidate ... sadly, they were not ... so ABB, not voting, or voting 3rd party was all that was left for many of us ABB was not a very rewarding experience ... it left me feeling very angry at the Democratic Party ... I won't be voting that way the next time ... either the Party will become more open and representative, or i'll be looking elsewhere for representation ...

[You will be voting the way our MASTER Rove WANTS you to vote. Oh, and MASTER Rove wants to THANK you DUmmies for so easily falling into his well-planned trap and nominating Kerry.]

But here's the catch: if you were really ABB, the best thing you...could do was NOT to go around proudly proclaiming you were ABB. The best thing would have been doing was to go around and pretend that Kerry was the best thing since sliced bread -- you should have been going around telling people you were for Kerry because of his stance on X, Y and Z (and the best X, Y and Z would have been things to do with protecting the middle class, allocating the tax burden fairly, carring about work and opportunity, etc.).

[MASTER Rove is already planning for your X, Y, and Z as well as your L, M, N, O, and P-P (the P-P in case Gore is nominated and has more strategic T-T breaks.)]

i campaigned very hard for Kerry ... i certainly never said to potential voters that i had reservations about Kerry ...but understand, it was important when speaking to other Democrats to highlight what i perceived to be Kerry's drawbacks and also to express my frustration with how the platform was developed ... ABB was not necessarily how people were campaigning; it was often how they saw Kerry on the issues ...

[So you were keeping it from the outside world how badly you thought Kerry sucked as a campaigner.]

Then Hillary '08 it is! Since all the republicans do is scream "Please! Run her! We'll win in an even bigger landslide!" then they truly must be afraid of her.

[Yes, yes! Run Hillary! That screeching voice of hers is sure to inspire MILLIONS of voters.]

No way will I vote for Hillary, regardless of what Repukes say. She's too pro-corporate, too pro-war, and too supportive of Israel's apartheid policies for me.

[Don’t worry. You WILL vote for Shrillary when she is nominated.]

And pay particular attention to Rule #1

[You’re making a mistake by nominating Shrillary! I tell you it is a MISTAKE!!!……hee! hee!]