Friday, February 18, 2005

DUmmie FUnnies 02-17-05 ("Bush Bi?")

Thanx to my trusty Indian Scout in Dummieland, I was forwarded this absolutely HILARIOUS DUmmie THREAD titled, “Bush Bi? Can anyone shed any light on this one?” And what is the basis for this shocking allegation? Absolutely nothing more than speculation on a tripod website that claims that an unnamed Las Vegas woman somehow knows that George W. Bush had bisexual affair. You can go to that tripod site from this DUmmie thread for yourself but I assure you it will not enlighten you a bit because even though it seems to be written in English, it is absolutely impossible to interpret what was written. I sure hope the DUmmies don’t talk to an unnamed Reno woman who once talked to someone who has a second cousin who knew a dairy cow that claimed she had carnal relations with YOURS TRULY. It would absolutely destroy me if the DUmmies found this “evidence” of bestiality on the part of the author of the DUmmie FUnnies. As usual the wild DUmmie speculations are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, yearning for the tenderness of Daisy the Cow, is in the [brackets]:

This is verrrrr interesting

[Would you mind interpreting what that website actually said into something that is even faintly comprehensible?]

not that interesting, actually since there was not a shred of evidence that bush had sex with guckert as the article tried so hard to imply. only the supposition that if you have one guy who might be gay in an organisation then the whole orgainsiation must be somehow controlled by gays. just what is it with these gay conspiracy theories? this is all starting to sound like the 'protocols of the learned elders of zion.' do you really believe that there is some kind of 'homintern' (as joe mccarthy called it) controlling the white house? i'm getting really tired of this obsession with hidden gays somehow controlling the world; it's starting to feel very paranoid and freeperish. the last time i heard so many people snickering about gays and thinking that they could somehow discredit someone by calling him 'gay' i was in high-school.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!! However, thanx for making us aware of that term, “hominterm.” I think I shall file it away for future use.]

You know about poppy's scandal with orphaned child prostitutes thought right?

[Common knowledge but you forgot to mention Bush’s affair with an adopted transsexual goat.]

Also, there are rumors that you have to commit a homosexual act to become an Initiate of the Skull and Bones society at Yale.

[You mean Bush dated John Kerry?]

commit a homosexual act...that makes it sound like a felony

[The ironic thing is that the DUmmies who frequently slam the “homophobia” of the EVIL Republicans have been calling for the arrest of gay conservatives for, well, being gay.]

It is a felony only if you are using a cell phone at the same time.

[LOL! Good one! Since you’ve shown a good sense of humor that makes me suspect that you are a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I'm sure there might be more than one secret society that requires what some would call "unseemly" acts as part of their initiation.

[The Homer Simpson Fan Club requires that you commit an unspeakable act with Troy McClure’s goldfish.]

the atmosphere here is starting to get very tin-hatty and freeperish and very weirdly fixated on tittle-tattle about unmasking 'hidden gays'.
i just went to the linked site and it reads like its been put together by someone who's either forgotten to take their meds or who has been doing WAY too much crystal meth for far too long. honestly, does anyone really think that bush is gay? is calling him gay somehow going to help defeat the right? do you really think that will have any resonance with the anyone, outside a very few lunatic homophobes?


that was my initial reaction. It looked loopty loop but I was shocked at how many google hits. Bush and that other guy got. I could give a rats ass if he's gay, bi, or straight. It's the hyprocritical nature that has my interest, and then only slightly. Just wondering if the Gannon thing is closer to Bush than it appears now. Could Gannon be to Bush what Lewinsky was to Clinton?

[Could the Three Little Pigs be trisexual?]

i'm getting tired of all the weirdly gleeful assertionms that anyone we don't like is 'gay.' i'm seeing a vein of homophobia on this site that is quite surprising and disappointing.

[Suddenly the DUmmies are calling for the arrest of gays for….being gay.]

It isn't that they are Gay, it is their lying about being Gay while destroying the lives of others like themselves. They have no right to a clean, well-lit closet when they use "Gay Marriage" as a club to keep the Christian Right in line. I am a Queer. I want to hang these people (figuratively) from the highest tree in the land by their closeted homosexuality.

[Queer Eye for the DUmmie Guy.]

IF it's true, IT'S VERY EXPLOSIVE & IF LINKED TO GANNON IT'S WORSE. Well, Well, Well. ISN'T THIS INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully, we'll find a connection with Gannon. Time will tell the story.

[Methinks you will be WAITING until Jan. 20, 2009.]

Sure, anything is possible... but without incriminating pics, the story is a worthless waste of time...

[Since there is an accusation that means there MUST be something to this story. The utter lack of proof that Bush is Bi means there is a massive Rovian coverup going on.]

Remember Bob Stevens of the Enquirer? You remember...He was the first one that died of anthrax after 911? Well sources tell me he had the pictures...that is why he was taken out.

[Hi Andy Stephenson! Was one of those “sources” Bev Harris, the con artist that you used to work with?]

And note that they "Decontaminated" the Enquirer office...And the evidence was gone forever.

[The long tentacles of the Perfect Rovian Storm know no bounds.]

Why Bush is evil! Why Bush is dumb! Why Bush can't string two words together! It's because he's GAY! We should have known all along! It's the only plausible explanation!

[Check his ranch for Judy Garland albums. That will be the ULTIMATE proof!]

If he *is* Gay, and I believe this, it discredits him with the Religionists who, along with Diebold, put him into office. I am hoping to motivate these people to remove him from office by whatever means makes most sense to them.

[“Hello, Jerry Falwell? I’m calling all Fundies that I normally despise to tell them that Bush is gay so could you maybe, um, impeach him?”]

Yes, nothing would get him tossed on the refuse pile faster than proof of homosexuality.

[Does he watch the Oscars? Chris Rock claims that is solid proof that you’re gay.]

With Bush, if it's true, he's a total fraud and hypocrite and destorying lives and this country because of the bigotry. Yet here Bush IS doing illegal crimes in this country and taking away ammendment rights and nobody who holds the power seems to care. So maybe the only way to show them the light is if this was true and could prove it.

[Hey! Remember that scene in “Liar Liar” where some woman figured out that a witness was gay because he knew all about women’s shoes? It was because only gay guys know the different styles of women’s shoes. I say flash pictures of different women’s shoes in front of Bush and if he shows the slightest trace of disgust at the unstylish shoes then that means he is gay…and grounds for IMPEACHMENT.]

There just has to be a way that we can do something with this story to expose the players.

[Just try making it up as you have been doing.]

Maybe the person at AmericaBlog doesn't know about this? Has anybody Emailed them personally and told about this woman? Maybe he/she can get to them?

[I’ve talked to that unnamed Las Vegas woman. She has told me she is just $10 away from exposing that Bush is gay. So send in your money and send it in care of Bev Harris.]

Lanny Davis, a longtime Democratic attorney and former counsel to Bill Clinton, was also a classmate of George Bush's at Yale. He tells this anecdote today in the LA Times: One of my most vivid memories is this: A few of us were in the common room one night. It was 1965, I believe — my junior year, his sophomore. We were making our usual sarcastic commentaries on those who walked by us. A little nasty perhaps, but always with a touch of humor. On this occasion, however, someone we all believed to be gay walked by, although the word we used in those days was "queer." Someone, I'm sorry to say, snidely used that word as he walked by. George heard it and, most uncharacteristically, snapped: "Shut up." Then he said, in words I can remember almost verbatim: "Why don't you try walking in his shoes for a while and see how it feels before you make a comment like that?"

[GASP! That settles it. Bush MUST be gay!!! This is as solid proof as catching him listening to Johnny Mathis while watching the Oscars.]


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it was Legally Blonde, not Liar Liar with the gay witness who knew women's shoe styles.

3:16 AM  

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