Saturday, December 04, 2004

DUmmie FUnnies 12-04-04 ("Best shots at beating the Republicans and winning the Presidency in 08")

The Dummies are already looking forward to the next presidential election and, as you can see, they are no less delusional. When you forward Jesse Jackson’s name as a viable candidate there just are no limits as to your depths for delusion. So let us all take a psychedelic trip into Dummie punditry as they speculate on their candidates for ’08. As usual, the Dummie delusions are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]. Let us first look at the candidates promoted in this Dummie THREAD titled “Best shots at beating the Republicans and winning the Presidency in 08,” posted by DUmmie Constitution:

The Greens are gloating because the Democrats seem to hate their party right now so much that they are expecting a dramatic increase in membership. Many people I know are simply going decline to state. I'm one of the decreasing number staying with the Democratic Party. However, if a good non-Democratic candidate looks like he/she could beat the Republicans in 2008, I'll probably vote for that person. Make no mistake, 2004 was a dream come true for potential independent candidates. Though the next four years will be a disaster, the Democratic Party may very well have already destroyed itself.

[One can always hope but continue, DUmmie Constitution...]

The best hope the Democrats have is to come up with a candidate who is idealistic and someone who inspires loyalty. Of the candidates in the last election season, Dennis was the only one, outside of Kerry, whose people stayed loyal to him through the convention. He released his delegates and they still voted for him. He also had the advantage of appealing to people outside the party and of pulling them together into a coalition that would eventually support the nominee. He kept getting endorsed by people who were not eligible to vote for him in the primaries…

[Like convicted criminals? How sad that they could not vote for the Evil Elf. Please go on, Dummie Constitution…]

The disadvantage Dennis had was he was the victim of a news blackout that did not affect the other candidates. The press was afraid that if most people knew anything about his positions, they would support him. He was the clearest alternative to Bush of all the candidates. His supporters will not have an easy time getting past that news blackout but they have four years to let America know who he is and what he stands for. Going door to door would be a good idea….

[“Hi! I’m Dennis Kucinich, the Evil Elf. I am ringing on doorbells to bring you my message of a Bolshevik America.” Please entertain us more, DUmmie Constitution…]

In the Senate, the person with the best shot is minority whip Dick Durbin. Durbin's voting record is one of the best. He often votes with Kennedy. Durbin is will become an instant hero if he leads the filibuster against Gonzales and contests the 2004 election.

[Continuing the failed policy of Tom Daschle sounds like a winner. Give us more, DUmmie Constitution…]

The other best option from the House is Bob Filner. He was the only white person to walk out of Congress in 2001 to protest the seating of the Florida electors. His voting record is excellent. He is one of the co-sponsors of the Department of Peace legislation. He is from San Diego and always has an easy time getting re-elected in a conservative district. He is one of the Congressional leaders in the fight to contest the election. He is looking for a Senator to join in.

[I can already see Filner’s ’08 bumper sticker: “Vote For The Delusional White Guy.” More comedy, Dummie Constitution…]

The kind of person who would have the easiest shot against the Republicans would be an idealistic rabble-rouser like Jessie Jackson but without the personal baggage. He's taken the lead in supporting voter rights and civil rights and continues to be a national hero. He is also the best speaker in the Democratic Party. He is one of the few people whose age will not affect his popularity. However, he needs to convince the religious community that he has cast aside some of his wild personal ways and is now a loyal husband. I have no doubts that he can do this with style and turn the issue into sermons. I also have no doubts that he could beat any Republican opponent in a landslide.

[Please let us now what kind of acid you are dropping, DUmmie Constitution? It must be high grade stuff to give you such a wild psychedelic trip. And now a final parting word from this DUmmie…

Of course, if John Kerry wins the 2004 election, he will be re-elected in 2008.

[I guess you dropped that acid on Nov. 2 and still haven’t woken up. And now other DUmmies weigh in on ’08…]

Dean/Clark or Clark/Dean. I could go with this. By 2008 most of the country will realize what a mistake they made in smearing Dean who will have been proven right on all issues.

[Delusional/Wacko or Wacko/Delusional.

You're missing the most obvious choice! Wes Clark! He still has thousands of loyal supporters. He was anti-Iraq War. He appeals to moderate Repubs and Indys in spite of being very Liberal. He can talk about faith and family values without sounding phony. He appeals to Security Moms. I could go on and on.

[Do you think that Wes Clark will blink his eyes at least once by the time ’08 rolls around?]

there will be no 2008 for the Democrats unless we win the election fraud battle of 2004 . . . by uncovering and exposing every single incident of voter fraud and convincing the masses that the voting system has to be changed . . . without that, we could run Jesus Christ in 2008 and we'll still lose . . . as long as Republican corporations control the voting and the vote counting, we have no chance in hell of winning another national election . . .

[Hmm….Can we expect a “Jesus ‘08” bumper sticker?

I thinks sometimes the politicos as represented here don't represent the rank and file dems as a whole. I see what you see. I also see people whom I never heard talk about politics before saying that Bush is a Hitler, that there's no way he won Ohio. I'm talking church going moms and dads here.

[Better exit that acid trip right away or you could suffer permanent brain damage.]

Dean and Clark have their high points and I liked what they did at the grassroots level, but if you truly want change and growth, Dennis is the way to go.

[Evil Elf ’08.]


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