Tuesday, June 25, 2013

DUmmie Suffers Smart Phone Culture Shock

Some DUmmies have discovered Smart Phones and they are puzzled by the technology as you can see in this THREAD, "I finally got a smart phone." Guess what? Your humble correspondent also got a smart phone a couple of months ago. An LG Motion. So why did I wait so long? The main reason is that I wanted a cell phone with HD quality video and since the LG Motion has excellent 1080 HD video, I went for it. You can see for yourself the quality from this VIDEO recorded recently on my LG Motion. It features my niece and nephew, Genesis and James Jones. BTW, I will soon be featuring them in their own online video show. It won't be your typical children's show since it will also be of great interest to adults as well. For example, one show will change the way you eat breakfast. No kidding. Okay, enough of PJ "home movies" and back to the DUmmies... The amazing thing here is that just 10 years ago, crude phone cameras represented the cutting edge of cell phones. We take it for granted now, but smart phones have radically changed much of our life styles. If you doubt me, think back to the time in the not too distance past when, if you wanted to make a call on the road, you had to use a pay phone that could well have been covered in the lice of a drug dealer. So let us now watch the DUmmies enter the Smart Phone world in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that Genesis and James Jones might soon be auditioning for the Food Network now that they have an opening, is in the [brackets]:

I finally got a smart phone

[Me too, DUmmie Omaha Steve but would it be too much trouble for you to tell us what TYPE of smart phone you have?]

After years of bragging about I only want a phone that makes calls. Not even texts. While at a meeting Wednesday night I watched as people were looking up info during a heated discussion. So I got a smart phone with wi-fi. Just turning it on was a challenge. Culture shock.

[Yeah, pushing that ON button is such a great technological challenge. Now on to the other shocked DUmmies...]

You'll pry my iPhone out of my cold dead hands. Easy to read/comment/post on DU too.

[Thank you for using your iPhone for providing us with lots of DUmmie comedy material.]
Quick access to information on the 'net is essential for my job. The map/GPS app also helped me out greatly more than once. Love my smartphone.

[I use the map/GPS app in my couponing. I used it just yesterday to figure out the quickest way to travel from one store to another. BTW, when I told my mother a few weeks ago that I got an Android phone she told me she didn't want to hear about any kinky stuff so I told her I was just kidding because what I got was really a smart phone...but it also an Android.]

Smartphone Rule #1 don't text a photo of your peepee to anyone unless you also are prepared for it to be on the internet for all to see

[Is that you, Anthony Weiner?]

... and if you do, make sure its not a little Weiner

[Little Anthony & The Imperials.]

I don't want to buy a 'smart' phone, because I'd be afraid I'd turn out to be to dumb to figure out how to use it.

[Now you know why you are a DUmmie.]

My first smartphone was a Windows one, big mistake, but I still have and use it. The one I got over a year ago has Android, and I really like it. I do pack both of them around on belt holsters like some sort of ubergeek.

[Good luck hitting on any Playboy Playmate in that outfit.]

Really, it'll change your life. You will be able to find out anything you need, practically anywhere you are. That's a game changer. I'd have to say that the easily portable Internet-connected device will have as much effect on society as the printing press, if not more.

[Gee. And all this time I thought it was Super Ginsu knives that had the biggest effect on society.]

I don't think they're called 'smart phones' anymore. They're called 'phones'.

[So instead of calling you a DUmmie, I'll just call you DUmb.]

A tablet would've been better for you to research quickly, I think. Or a pc. But a phone is one-stop researching, I guess...phone and researching, together. They're very expensive, both the initial cost & monthly.

[Yeah, the 50 bucks to buy an LG Motion plus the $50 monthly charge is enough to bust the typical DUmmie budget.]
I don't go to mtgs where research is necessary, so I'll still with my prepaid Tracfone. I spend $200 a year, my minutes roll forward, and I use the same cell towers that the smart phone users do.

[Congrats! By stubbornly sticking with a Tracfone, you will continue to remain in your low paying job. You saved about $400 per year in order to keep a job that pays you at least $4000 less than what you make using a smart phone. DUmmie budgeting at its most laughable.]

We have a new lap top with wi-fi. The meeting was where there was no wi-fi. It doesn't have cell capability that I know of. Our granddaughters tablet has 20-30 mins of battery. Not an option either.

[Um...Did you ever hear of 4G? That is what you use for data when you don't have Wi-Fi access.]

I got one last November. I still can't figure out how to do much with it.

[Getting past using the ON switch is such a technological chore.]

I can't figure out how to get the pics of the phone without emailing them, one slow email at a time.

[Should I tell this DUmmie about enabling AUTOMATIC PhotoBucket uploads?] 

I can't figure out how to turn off the internet to save my minimal time without turning the whole phone off.

[Almost as tough as inhaling and exhaling.]


Anonymous Jerome Goolsby said...

Is it just me or is reality forcing the Troglaman Clones/Moonbats in DU to slam their heads up their asses more often and thus be even more incoherently insane than usual?

2:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A "smart phone" won't make me more money in my job (electronics engineer--I'm connected at work & home), won't substantially improve my life, & will cost me more money. I carry a cell phone primarily in case my bike breaks down (I'm crippled up & hate limping along pushing a 500-lb Honda) or in case I need to get an important call (Dad has Stage IV cancer). I suspect the DUmmie needs it to post pics of his vegan meals to whomever cares, or to find his way to the nearest anti-freedom (against the 2nd & 10th amendments, secure borders, etc.) protest, as (s)he is probably puzzled by such things as maps. If in a service industry, maybe the calculator is useful to them make change of a dollar, as well.
--Tennessee Budd

10:26 PM  
Anonymous troglaman said...

Incoherent. All of it.

This is who you are.

12:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I didn't know this was a blog you wrote in your spare time I would've sworn you had some sort of quota our deadline you needed to meet. Seriously, smartphones? Was there absolutely nothing of substance to write about this week? And I'm not being critical because I hate what you do. On the contrary, I enjoy your blog and, while I don't personally agree with all of your views, I most enjoy your satirical examinations of the hypocrisies of the far left. This... well, maybe take a week off every now and then when there's nothing of real substance to write about?

8:24 AM  
Anonymous The JUDGE said...

While gulping down a fifth of Old Crow, Troglatwit - The Worthless Son of a Worthless Fucking Bastard - said...

Incoherent. All of it.

This is who you are.

When the hell are you going to wait until you're sober to post on here, Troglatwit, you worthless son of a worthless fucking bastard?

8:30 PM  
Anonymous krazy kat said...

"Incoherent, All of it.

This is who you are."

Don't exclude yourself from that judgment troggy.

10:48 AM  
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