Monday, February 25, 2013

Sequester disaster! DUmmies blame Rethuglicans!


Last week President Obama held a photo op an important news conference in which he warned Americans of the dire, disastrous consequences if the Eeevil Republicans have their way and the dreaded, draconian SEQUESTER goes into effect!! Jobs will be lost! Vital services will be lost!! LIVES will be lost!!! Planes will fall out of the sky! First responders won't be there to respond! Teachers will be out of a job! Roads and bridges! Crumbling infrastructure! SCHOOLS! Children's SCHOOLS, Mandrake! The Children--think of The Children!!!!

"My fellow Americans, just look at these carefully selected stage props these brave first responders standing here behind me! Look at their nice spiffy uniforms! See the pretty blonde lady! See the African-Americans! We've even thrown a couple white guys in there too. I think one of them may be Hispanic. But the point is, they will all be out of a job AND LIVES WILL BE LOST if we don't stop those mean, nasty Republicans!"

The President, who is in Permanent Campaign Mode (PCM), conveniently leaves out a few facts. Like, he himself had signed the sequester bill into law. Like, the sequester "cuts" would amount to about 2% of current spending--in other words, back to the spending levels of just a few years ago. Like, HOW the spending cuts would be APPLIED, which services and programs would be cut, would be up to . . . him, President Obama, the Chief Executive. If he wants to threaten to eliminate first responders or let airplanes fall out of the sky, that would be his choice. He COULD choose to cut other, less "vital" programs, such as: Free cell phones for Obama voters. Diversity indoctrination training for the military. Push-up training for transgendered female recruits, so they can do five push-ups wearing their specially issued push-up bras. That sort of thing. But no. Can't cut those things. Planes will fall out of the sky first.

Obama's Obedient Media (OOM) lap it all up. They've got Fiscal Cliff 2.0 to play with. Obama's Obedimedia couldn't be happier.

And the DUmmies--well, the DUmmies of course swallow the snake oil that Our President is selling. We're all gonna die!! Women and minorities hardest hit! And it's all the Rethuglicans' fault. Boehner, he's the chief villain. Johnny Sequest. Cryin' Sequest.

We'll look at just a couple of the DUmmieland threads, namely, this THREAD, "Obama Warns Looming Sequester Would Devastate Economy," and this THREAD, "MSNBC's Matthews: Sequester Cuts Are a 'Doomsday Machine."

So let us now go to DUmmieland and witness the deep doom and despair, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who would prefer to see government spending cut by at least 50%, is in the sequestered [brackets]:

Obama Warns Looming Sequester Would Devastate Economy

[We're all gonna DIE!!!!!!!!!!]

Source: NBC NEWS
[What a surprise.]

President Barack Obama used his bully pulpit Tuesday . . .

[President Barack Obama used his bullsh*t teleprompter Tuesday . . .]

to warn of calamitous consequences for the U.S. economy should the automatic spending cuts known as the “sequester” go into effect next Friday.

[Calamitous!! Then there are some predictable quotes from the clown. Blah, blah, blah. So let's go to the DUmmies . . .]

Obama proposed sequestration knowing the danger.

[QUIET! QUIET! DON'T SAY THAT!]

Saying that 'Obama proposed sequestation' is like parents proposing to pay a ransom to the people who are holding their child.

[They're holding our CHILD! That's what this is! BAD Rethuglicans! EEEVIL Rethuglicans!!!]

I think people are getting wise to the Republican strategy of screw the middle-class and the poor just so the 1% gets richer.

[Think no deeper than that. That's all you need to know. On everything.]

The problem with the United States is this extremist Republican Party led mostly by certain males in the South. The sooner these racists are gotten rid of in Government the better the U.S. will be off.

[Send them off to Gitmo! Sequester them there!]

The Republican Party can kiss my behind!

[Calm down, benburch!]

The Republican party is the party of angry old white men. Hopefully, as these angry old white men stop voting. . . .

[Kill the angry old white men! Death panels!]

$85 billion of the 3.8 Trillion dollar Budget is around 2.8% of the Budget.

[QUIET! Don't confuse us with the facts! People will lose their JOBS! People are gonna DIE!!]

Mr. President, Sir . . . please stop with the scare tactics.

[What else does he got? He's the Fearmongerer-in-Chief. But please continue, DUmmie Myrina, with your surprisingly sensible observations . . .]

it's BS and making all of the news-watching lemmings panic.

[Hmm, let me see if I can scrounge up enough money in our budget for a Kewpie Doll here . . .]

POTUS speaking in these terms makes it sound like at midnight, on March 1, the barn door will be left open and all the ooga-booga terraists will come flooding into the US and kill us all in our sleep. That's just not responsible Presidentin', in my opinion.

[And the winner . . . for Best Brief Moment of Mental Clarity by a DUmmie in a Sequester Thread is . . . {blows in envelope} . . . DUmmie Myrina! . . . {thunderous applause} . . . DUmmie Myrina, come up here and get your Kewpie! Love the dress, by the way. . . .]

It's all too damn big for me. From my limited understanding, there will be cuts to military spending, education, what little infrastructure we have left. Jobs will be lost, people who received federal assistance will lose it? Just, the scale of such a thing, the overall impact, is rather mind boggling. Are we talking about yet another recession? Or something worse? My understanding of economics is rather vague.

[We can see that, DUmmie davidthegnome.]

Make sure ALL the cuts take place in RED states only

[Can we have our taxes cut accordingly, too?]

Make them pay!

[GRRRRRR!!!!!! UNCONTROLLED RAGE!!! ANGRY WHITE DUMMIES GO WILD!!!]

So we're supposed to worry about $85 Billion a YEAR? I still think it's a bit overblown.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

MSNBC's Matthews: Sequester Cuts Are a "Doomsday Machine"

[That's MSDNC's Chrissy "Tingles" Matthews, the Voice of Reason, the Elder Statesman, Head Acolyte of Obama's Obedient Media (OOM).]

Chris Matthews: "It's a down and dirty world when you decide chopping down the government and hurting the economy is the smart move. But bring it all down is now the hard right battle cry. Slash spending, short the pentagon, screw up traffic control, whatever raises the noise level, bashes Democrats and lowers hope. Is this the tea party dream? Is this John Boehner's version of feeding time at the zoo, giving the crazies what they want so they will sit in their seats and behave? Is this final payment to insanity the last vestige of what calm Republicanism is ready to cough up? But how else can you explain the readiness of the GOP leadership to let this Frankenstein's monster, this doomsday machine, this sequestration go all out berserk? How else can we understand the party of Lincoln doing such economic damage to the Republic, such damage and moral to the people?"

[Brilliant. Such piercing analysis. Such calm, reasoned discourse. It sends a thrill up my leg.]

Did Matthews propose any spending reductions?

["Spending reductions"? "SPENDING REDUCTIONS"?? The Rethuglicans are holding our children hostage, and you're talking about "SPENDING REDUCTIONS"?? What kind of a moran are you???]

we need to spend MORE. . . . stimulus. . . . Huge investments in infrastructure along with work programs. . . . the wealthiest . . . mega corporations . . . taxes. . . . military must be cut drastically. . . .

[The "balanced approach."]

Read Time expose ruinous Health Care
Means test recipients, raise level of ss tax to a million, have Medicare reem bursement the norm. Double drug enforcement pn borders. Have pharmacutical companies
And doctors pay for opiate addiction treatment. Use cocaine sentence guidelines for opiate and meth dewlers.

[I think someone has been dewling in some opiate and meth him-or-herself. Reen forcement of DUmmies as dopes the norm. Brains test DUmmies. Double down pn disorders.]