Sunday, August 20, 2006

Skinner Showcases His Political Idiocy

I figured that since Head DUmmie Skinner created DUmmieland and used to work as a congressional aide that he would have at least a bit more political sensibility than the average DUmmie. However, Skinner has proven that he is every bit as clueless as the other DUmmies as you can see in his THREAD titled, "Here's an Idea for Ned Lamont: Attack Alan Schlesinger." And here's an idea for Skinner: Grow A Brain. I always thought that Skinner looked like a fifteen year old kid trapped in the body of a fourteen year old boy but now I think he has a three year old brain trapped inside a two year old skull. So why did Skinner make such an absurd suggestion? Perhaps because he felt left out of it when the Daily Kos monopolized all the media coverage about Ned Lamont. Now that Lamont is behind Lieberman in the polls, perhaps Skinner thought he could redeem himself in they eyes of the DUmmies. Before, he idly sat around with his thumb up his butt while the Daily Kos stole all the glory so now Skinner thinks he can get into the limelight as the Leftist Hero who suggested a winning game plan to Lamont. Instead, Skinner has just made himself a laughingstock again. So let us now watch Skinner proudly display his idiotic idea in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, sending mental growth hormone pills to Skinner, is in the [brackets]:

Here's an Idea for Ned Lamont: Attack Alan Schlesinger

[And Ned Lamont will tell you where to stick that dopey idea, Skinner.]

I know what you're thinking: Alan who? Isn't Joe Lieberman supposed to be Ned Lamont's biggest opponent?

[Actually I am thinking: Skinner boo-boo.]

Indeed. But I believe Lamont can help his campaign and hurt Lieberman by building up Republican candidate Alan Schlesinger. According to an August 17 Quinnipiac Poll, here's how the CT Senate Race currently stands:

Joe Lieberman (I) 49%
Ned Lamont (D) 38%
Alan Schlesinger (R) 4%

[That (D) by Lamont's name stands for DUmmie if he buys your idiotic idea.]

I know that Connecticut is a blue state, but a Republican really should be polling higher than 4 percent -- even in a three-way race. Back in 2000, Philip Giordano, Joe Lieberman's Republican opponent for US Senate in Connecticut, received 35% of the vote. In my opinion, that should be considered the baseline of support for a Republican when Lieberman is on the ticket in a Connecticut US Senate race.

[Discredited Casino Gold is running, not Giordano. So much for your idiotic suggestion.]

Considering where things stand now, I think it's highly unlikely that Schlesinger could possibly get 35% of the vote. But I don't think it is unreasonable for him to get himself up into the low 20s, if only he would make some effort to get his pathetic campaign off the ground. I suspect that at least 20% of Connecticut voters are anti-choice enough, anti-gay enough, or anti-environment enough to the point that voting for Lieberman would be considered an unacceptable compromise (or even immoral). If they knew they had a "moral" choice who shares their extremist ideology, they would likely vote for him. The problem is that all of the media coverage has been on Lamont/Lieberman, so nobody knows who Alan Schlesinger is. (Heck, I don't know a thing about the guy and unfortunately his website is down right now so I have no easy way to figure out what his positions are on issues like abortion, gay rights, or the environment. Still, I think it is safe to assume that he is worse than Lamont or Lieberman on these issues, or could be easily made to look that way.)

[Please, Mr. Schlesinger. Pull yourself away from the casino tables and campaign so as to give my stupid idea some validity. Oh, and could you please campaign as a rightwing extremist as definied by me so as to give credibility to my not-well-thought-out game plan?]

Alan Schlesinger does not seem to be doing much of anything to support his own candidacy, and neither is the GOP. So the only person with any hope of raising Mr. Schlesinger's profile is probably Ned Lamont. And how would Lamont do that? One way is by giving money to his campaign, but I think that's a little too obvious. A better way to raise Schlesinger's profile would be for Ned Lamont to attack him relentlessly, on TV and at all his campaign stops:

[The only way Ned Lamont could raise Schlesinger's profile is by giving him some free casino chips. All that Lamont attacking him relentlessly will do is maybe earn him a comp in Vegas for having a "name."]

- Attack him for his opposition to abortion rights.

- Attack him for his opposition to gay rights.

- Attack him for his opposition to environmental protection.

- Attack him for being a strong supporter of the Bush Agenda.

[LOL! You just got done stating that you DON'T know Schlesinger's stand on these issues and now you are suggesting that Lamont attack him. What are you trying to do? Make Lamont look like a bigger fool than he already is?]

The point is of this approach is NOT to peel supporters from the Schlesinger column and put them into the Lamont column. The point is to peel supporters from Lieberman and put them into the Schlesinger column.

[And the naive Republicans will easily fall into your sly trap.]

If Lamont's attacks can move Schlesinger from 4% to 6%, then Lamont can argue that Schlesinger is "surging in the polls by 50%" which provides a self-fulfilling justification for attacking Schlesinger. It also gives Republicans a reason to believe that maybe Schlesinger isn't such a big loser -- After all, he's got Ned Lamont so scared, he's attacking him.

[Not only Republicans believe Schlesinger to be a big loser but so do the casinos.]

If by election day Schlesinger can be moved from 4% to 20%, then the vast majority of the 16% swing is going to come from Republicans who are currently supporting Lieberman. If they all came from Lieberman, the final vote would look like this:

[Skinner already counting his chickens BEFORE they hatch like so many of his fellow DUmmies do. Freudenschade, baby!]

Joe Lieberman (I) 33%

Ned Lamont (D) 38%

Alan Schlesinger (R) 20%


Which would make Ned Lamont the winner.

[...In the Alternate Reality.]

Connecticut voters are already well informed about both Lamont and Lieberman, so focusing the campaign there is going to have diminishing returns. If this can be turned into a three-way race, and conservatives can be made better informed about Schlesinger, then Lamont wins.

[Four-way race. I hate to spoil so intricate a game plan but there is a Green Party candidate in the mix. Back to square one. And now to hear from your equally deluded fellow DUmmies...]

Very Machiavellian. Excellent idea.

[Excellent idea. The Republicans will simply buy into your Machiavellian scheme like a bunch of idiots even though you already BROADCASTED it like a fool on the web.]

Highlight the issues GOP voters may support Schlesinger on.

[A casino on every corner?]

Certainly the more he can make this a 3 person race the better Ned will do.

[The only way this would become a 3 person race is if Schlesinger drops out and makes it a contest between Lieberman, Lamont, and the Green Party candidate.]

I think Ned needs to do much more to dispel the idea that Lieberman is a "centrist" and really plaster the meme that he is a Republican in sheep's clothing. How Joe and Cheney are shoulder to shoulder, so to speak.

[Which would make Republicans more, not less, likely to vote for Lieberman...DUhhhhhmmmmie~]

Gotta Hand It To Ya Skinner. That's A Creatively Brilliant Strategy. I can't find a thing logically false about it and in fact think it very well could work. It is going to be tough for Ned to take on Joe head to head, but it is amazingly insightful to recognize that can be circumvented by siphoning votes away from Joe via Alan, as opposed to convincing voters (especially the GOP ones) to vote for Ned instead of Lieberman. Great job on this idea Skinner! Now we just have to find a way to convince the Lamont campaign to go this route!

[An emergency crew is on the way right now to rescue your lips superglued to Skinner's posterior.]

But what happens if/when Schlesinger drops out? He's getting no support from his own party, no dough. It's a distinct possibility.

[That post was made by Pied Piper Pitt at 3:39 P.M which means it was before the Bukowski's Happy Hour so Pitt was semi-sober when he posted it which explains why it actually made sense.]

Good question. I hadn't really thought about that. I guess Lamont could persuade one of his Republican friends to get on the ballot, and then start attacking him.

[DUhhhhhhmmmmie! Skinner admits that he wasn't really thinking when he presented his Machiavellian scheme. Back to Square One.]

I think another good reason to campaign more against the GOP candidate rather than Joe is to isolate him, push him to the outside... "not a serious alternative". Right now, Joe is thriving off all the free publicity, and seen as a serious contender only because the Lamont campaign continues to treat him as such. Once they start to treat Joe like any other "third party wannabee candidate", he'll quickly loose the mystique of being worthy of serious consideration.

[You can wear Skinner's DUnce cap when he is done with it.]

Skinner, I hope you send this to Lamont's campaign manager!

[Me too.]

Great idea. Sounds like something the wingnut would fall for.

[Because we are stupid enough to fall for your brilliant, well thought out, Machiavellian scheme.]

I also think it is astounding that a Republican could poll at 4%. It is just too low, even for a three-way race.

[FOUR-way race, Skinner. And who do you think the Green Party candidate is going to strip votes from? Hee! Hee!]

Joe dressed as Alice, being hugged by Tweedledee and Tweedledum, springs to mind.

[Skinner dressed as Humpty DUmbty falling off a wall comes to mind.]

I'm almost tempted to volunteer for the Schlesinger campaign.

[Your first chore will be to bring a beer to Mr. Gold at the blackjack table.]

We should all donate to Schlesinger's campaign. How hilarious would that be?

[So when he drops out he can donate it to the Lieberman campaign. How hilarious would that be?]

That's GREAT ADVICE Skinner.... Don't even talk about Joe....Attack your REPUBLICAN opponent! Talk about how the REPUBLICANS are screwing up the country, and go after Schlesinger!

[That's GREAT ADVICE Skinner.... Attack that guy at the blackjack table and then watch Lieberman's poll numbers rise.]

Maybe if this guy gets dragged into the spotlight he'll be angry enough at the RNC to start attacking Lieberman, or maybe not...

[The "or maybe not" scenario is by far the most likely one.]

Skinner, I don't know what anybody else thinks, and maybe this is too strong a criticism, but I don't pay my goddamn hard-earned dollars to DU so that you and your admin buddies can go galavanting about on internet discussion forums pretending to be political operatives.

[Shhhh! Don't discourage Skinner. His comedy act is HILARIOUS!!!]

I think Tweety did enough by getting Schlesinger to admit he has a $10,000 gambling problem on Hardball. Sorry, Skinner, I think this is just fantasy

[True but at least it's a FUnnie fantasy.]

The point is to make Schlesinger MORE popular among attacking him for being anti-choice on abortion, pro-Bush, etc.

[And we are going to just jump off the cliff like mind-numbed lemmings as part of your brilliant Machiavellian game plan.]

I think anyone with hald a brain would see through this in a second. This will never work. And if it does, then some Freeper on FR is going to see this thread and smack the whole thing down on their blogs. It's artificial, it's trasparent, and have you ever seen it done before? I mean, for real? Sorry to be the voice of reason, but this is just silly.

[A blog like the DUmmie FUnnies my soon to be receiving a Kewpie Doll DUmmie.]

An ad saying "Alan Schlesinger would take away a woman's right to choose" wouldn't seem artificial.

[How about an ad that says, "Alan Schlesinger would force women to wear ugly black burkhas?"]

Update: Schlesinger is pro-choice.

[OOPS! Back to Square One.]

Of course it will work. This kind of thing has been the Repukes' winning strategy for years! Who cares if they see this thread in Freeperville? It will still work


Who needs Karl Rove... we have Skinner!

[LOL! Comedy punchline of the week.]

And the Green could help. Which would also help draw the distinction between Lamont and the far left at the same time. If Democrats are ever going to take over that broad middlish vote, we'd better figure out how to do it right now against Lieberman. He really can't win or we're stuck with more "comity" bullshit for who knows how long. Shoving Joe off with Schlesinger and the right, making clear the distinction of the Green left, is the only way for us to pull back into being the mainstream of thought in this country. We really do have to win this one.

[Thanx for the reminder that this is a FOUR-way race. Oh, and rationalize all you want but it is mainly Lamont that the Greens will peel the votes from.]

I'd like to see an action alert maybe a DU action, where we all send Schlesinger a PLAYING CARD, from any old deck of cards, with a note attached - "MY Vote is not going to someone who's been KICKED out of Las Vegas for Counting Cards.. You can COUNT this card as ONE VOTE you WON'T be Receiving, and I support Lamont." Smother the guy in cards sent through the mail, might even make the news

[Congratulations! Your idea is even DUmber than Skinner's. BTW, I don't happen to consider card counting to be cheating but I don't think that will be a campaign issue.]

Skinner, this is a great idea. I sent this link to my family in CT. I told one brother to print it off and take it to Lamont's office.

[Don't forget to tell your brother to print out the DUmmie FUnnies edition laughing at all this. Oh, and take that to Lamont's office as well.]

My God, I take my hat off to you, Sir--that is a brilliant strategy and hopefully one the Lamont people will follow.

[ off the electoral cliff.]

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Blogger diesel_driver said...

Brilliant! Go for it, DUmmies! This would sink Lement's campaign faster than an iceberg sank the Titantic...

3:30 PM  
Anonymous Jason said...

Hate to go against you PJ, but Skinner’s idea really isn’t lame-brained as you make it out to be.

Right now, according to the polling data cited by Skinner anyways, Ned Lamont is down by a full 11 points so he has to do SOMETHING if he realistically wants to one day become a US Senator…and attacking the nobody in a very distant third place just might actually do the trick.

Follow me on this, most Connecticut Republicans/conservatives right now either A: don’t know who Alan Schlesinger is, or B: have written his campaign off as hopeless and are, therefore, choosing to settle for Lieberman.

However, since the news media IS actually paying attention to the things that Ned Lamont is saying right now, it probably would actually be a pretty good idea him to start blasting him from the stump a bit. This would give his candidacy a greater sense of legitimacy and possibly swing more conservative voters his way out of anger.

Moreover, he has absolutely nothing to worry about in the sense that bashing a Republican, no matter how mediocre, IS NOT going to create any kind of a backlash from his nutty leftist base; in fact, it would probably actually make them like him even more.

The sad fact is today that there are simply WAYY more partisan voters out there than there are moderate swing voters, if Ned could somehow isolate the middle-of-the-road swingsters to the Lieberman camp and push out a sizable fraction of his Republican supporters to Alan, then he could, possibly, get himself elected.

Not saying doing this would for sure work, but I would suggest it if ‘I’ was working on his campaign.

However, Skinner DOES go a bit too far with his first three suggestions:

“- Attack him for his opposition to abortion rights.

- Attack him for his opposition to gay rights.

- Attack him for his opposition to environmental protection.”

All that would do is make Ned look like a leftwing radical (or more so) and send an even greater number of moderate voters Lieberman’s way.

If I were working on the Lamont campaign I would simply advise him to attack Alan for being a Bush supporter.

Like I said, I don’t actually believe it would work, the public just isn’t that stupid as to not figure out what is going on, but it would still be worth a try considering that Ned is still losing right now by a wide margin anyways.

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I look at comments by the DU people and I take the longer view.

After all someone to have survived for so long with so little intelligence, can only be explained by the fact that they were born before abortion was legalized.

Confront them with that and you get an instaban, but it's a sure thread killer while they contemplate their navel.

10:41 PM  
Blogger Son Of The Godfather said...

No way, Jason... Respectfully, Skinner has been eating some Slim-Jims well beyond their expiration date.

Ned Lamont (per Skinner): "That Schlesinger S.O.B. follows the Bushhitler doctrine!"

Lamont whackjobs: "Yeah! We're still voting for Ned!"

Schlesinger voters: "Yeah, We're still voting for Alan!... But we might vote for Joe because Alan can't win and Ned is an asshat!"

Joe voters: "Yeah! We know that! We're still voting for Joe to keep your kooky ass out of power! Also, didn't Ned blame Israel for the current conflict over there? Err.... Also, some of us actually DO support the war on terror as well..."

Green voters: "Wha?... Pass the herb and quit bogarting the Cheetohs dude... I'm Green, and I'm voting Green no matter wtf else is going on in the real world!... Is Gilligan's Island on yet?"

If the "Neddites" were to adopt Skinner's "master plan", I would not say that "we have Karl Rove, they have Skinner". I would instead be convinced that Karl Rove IS Skinner.

2:18 AM  
Blogger ntk said...

I think anyone with hald a brain would see through this in a second.

No wonder it merited such serious consideration at the DUmbderground.

1:35 PM  

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